|I liked the theme. I am new as well, and sometimes don't follow the rules of poetry either. I read some where to write first, edit later. Common advice I am sure.
For me, a poem like this is something I edit for months, even years. I am a wee bit anal about things, and almost every time I read a poem of mine like this, I want to change it.
You are writing with your heart, that's what is important to me. Your boyfriend probably has no idea, talk to him. Men are simple, simple creatures.