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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bray2015
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574 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Coming Home  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a great poem. I can feel the emotions and love the imagery you use. My only suggestion would be to check your punctuation. Right now, the only punctuation you have is the period at the end of each stanza. Here is an example of what I mean:

My mistress world sang binding cords,
dull feverish tunes of possibilities,
binding the gods against my will;
now come to rest in this last ebb
in this place my grave, my home."

Other than that, your rhythm and flow are quite good. One technique I use on a poem is to read it out loud to myself and listen for natural breaks in speech - as well as noticing any instances where the flow seems unnaturally interrupted....this will help you in determining punctuation, capitalization, word flow, etc.

Keep up the wonderful writing!!!

Rhoswen (aka - bray2015)
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Review of 4th of July  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was well written. The rhythm and flow were spot on. Haiku is a difficult genre of poetry to write, let alone three stanzas all related to the same idea. You did a wonderful job on this. I can picture people lying on blankets watching the fireworks. Happy Independence Day. Keep up the great writing!

Rhoswen
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3
Review of Ghost Lights  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You did a great job of painting a picture with your words. I truly enjoyed reading this. Your rhythm and flow were spot on. You really created an image in this poem with well-chosen words. I love how you equated darkness to unspoken words. Very cool concept there. Keep up the great writing!

Rhoswen
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I absolutely love this! I can picture the store, the barrels, the bonnets. I can hear the old men spitting and arguing over a game of checkers, and the ladies gossiping as they sip tea. You did absolutely awesome on this! I saw nothing to change!!!! Keep up the wonderful writing!

Rhoswen
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5
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was lots of fun - and just a bit challenging to find all the words. You did really well on this, Mike! Keep making these!

Rhoswen
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Review of Ladybug Beach  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was great! The rhythm and flow worked well together with the rhyme pattern. I could picture the ladybugs, and you included some facts I didn't know - such as older ladybugs being orange and younger ones being red. Great job! Keep up the wonderful writing!!!


Rhoswen
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7
Review of Prairie Waltz  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
This was well-written. The rhythm and flow of this piece were spot on. I could see the dandelion, the black storm clouds, feel the pelting rain. You had wonderful descriptions here. I saw no issues that needed to be addressed. Keep up the wonderful writing!

Rhoswen
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Review of VOICES  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow. This was beautifully written. I can feel the pain and anguish as I read. I loved the rhythm and flow of this piece. It was spot-on. There is wisdom in these words as well. You really did a wonderful job writing this. I saw no issues that needed to be addressed. Keep up the wonderful writing!

Rhoswen
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Review of True Friends  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a great poem that pays a wonderful tribute to true friends. I love the message in this. The rhythm and flow did well. My only suggestion would be that you don't always need a capital letter at the beginning of a line if that line is a continuation of the thought in the line before it. An example is below:

"When you’re in pain,
when you hurt,
they’ll be there,
they know your worth."

Other than that, you did a wonderful job. Keep up the wonderful writing!

Rhoswen
10
10
Review of Summer Squalls  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was well written. The rhythm and flow were spot on. The rhyming pattern was effective. I did not see any issues that needed to be addressed. As I read, I remembered those days of splashing through mud puddles, singing and dancing in the rain, and the lil yellow rubber ducks. Great job. Keep up the wonderful writing!


Rhoswen
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11
Review of The Gospel  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a beautifully written poem that points out the only Way, Jesus. I love reading faith-based poems, and writing them as well. You did really well on this. The rhythm and flow were spot on. The rhyme worked out well. Keep up the wonderful writing - and keep the faith!!

Rhoswen
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Review of Born To Write  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was well-written, and I enjoyed reading your experience on WDC. I love how you point out how writing is so addictive to those of us here, not to mention, therapy of sorts. The rhythm and flow were spot-on, as was the rhyme scheme. Keep up the wonderful writing!

Rhoswen
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13
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was very well written. I can feel the pain of these "forgotten ones." It's sad that so many live like this and you point this out beautifully. The rhythm and flow were spot-on. I enjoyed reading this. I think it's time we do more to help these folks. Keep up the wonderful writing.

Rhoswen
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14
Rated: E | (5.0)
The rhythm and flow of this poem was great. I loved the rhyme pattern. I totally get the message of the husband-wife conundrum. Your solution seems to work well. You did a great job on this. I saw nothing that needed to be changed or improved. Keep up the great writing!

Rhoswen
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15
Rated: E | (5.0)
The rhythm and flow of this poem were spot-on. The rhyme scheme worked out beautifully. Personally, I love lobster, but this kinda made me rethink that (only a little.) I loved reading this poem, and there's a great message for the greater good in this. Keep up the wonderful writing!

Rhoswen
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Review of Waiting for Daddy  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This has the beginnings of a very good story. Your descriptions are vivid, the raw emotions can be felt. It left me feeling bad for the little boy, Adrian. You did really well on this. I saw nothing that detracted away from the story. Keep up the wonderful writing!

Rhoswen
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a very heart-warming story. I'm glad you got the man's autograph, and reached out to his wife as well. I'm sure you are as well. You make a very good point of how we need to reach out to those who seem down-and-out, and make them know they are important, too. Great job - keep up the great writing!

Rhoswen
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Review of Christmas 2019  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was great! I had fun solving it (even though it was a bit easy!) Keep making these!
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Review of Grief  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
I could feel the pain and the heartache as I read through this. Losing someone we love is never an easy thing. I love how you embrace your grief in this. The rhythm, flow and rhyme all worked together to make this a wonderful read. Keep up the great writing.


Rhoswen
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Review of My First Memory  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I could really picture the house, and a little toddler climbing up and down the steps. As far as the yellow jacket nest - ouch! So glad you didn't get stung. This was really well-written and I enjoyed reading. You really painted a picture with your words. Great job. Keep up the wonderful writing!!

Rhoswen
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Review of Midnight Trench  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was an interesting read. The rhythm and flow worked really well. You painted a picture with your words. This was very well written. I could see the ice, feel the chill. The only suggestion I have is when one line continues to the next in a single thought, you don't necessarily need to capitalize the first letter of the line. Other than that, outstanding writing! Keep it up!!


Rhoswen
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Rated: E | (5.0)
The rhythm and flow of this were spot on, and the rhyme scheme worked out perfectly. You have a powerful message in this poem, if one truly reads with an open mind. I really enjoyed this poem, and I can see the tide ebb and flow throughout as I read this. Keep up the wonderful writing!

Rhoswen
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Review of Gentle Hands  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The rhythm and flow of this poem were spot-on. I could feel the hurt and then feel the glimmer of hope as you once again found love in this poem. This goes to show that even after heartbreak, one can still find love, even if they aren't looking. This gives hope to those who've ever had their heart broken. Very well done. Keep up the wonderful writing!!!


Rhoswen
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Ha Ha! I loved this! I, too, hate the cold weather winter brings us! It hurts my teeth when they chatter! The rhythm and flow of this were spot on! I love the touch of humor you bring into this! You literally mirrored my sentiments of snowy Christmases! Keep up the wonderful writing!

Rhoswen
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Review of The Fire  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was very well written. I enjoyed reading it, and it really kept me on the edge of my seat. I could just picture someone running into the forest to save a fawn. I love how you incorporated some magic into this story. Keep up the wonderful writing!

Rhoswen
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