I absolutely loved this! The rhythm and flow were spot on, and the excitement to the big day builds. I love how you put the moral to the story with a humorous spin. I saw no reason to change anything! This was perfect just the way it is!
This was an amazing poem! I enjoyed the cadence, the rhythm and flow. I could actually picture a kid messing up his mom's chair with paint, the trip to the furniture store - and the humor that you sprinkled throughout worked so well! The repetition of phrases added to that humor and to the story-line. Keep up the great writing!!!
This was well written. The rhythm and flow were spot on. Haiku is a difficult genre of poetry to write, let alone three stanzas all related to the same idea. You did a wonderful job on this. I can picture people lying on blankets watching the fireworks. Happy Independence Day. Keep up the great writing!
You did a great job of painting a picture with your words. I truly enjoyed reading this. Your rhythm and flow were spot on. You really created an image in this poem with well-chosen words. I love how you equated darkness to unspoken words. Very cool concept there. Keep up the great writing!
I absolutely love this! I can picture the store, the barrels, the bonnets. I can hear the old men spitting and arguing over a game of checkers, and the ladies gossiping as they sip tea. You did absolutely awesome on this! I saw nothing to change!!!! Keep up the wonderful writing!
This was great! The rhythm and flow worked well together with the rhyme pattern. I could picture the ladybugs, and you included some facts I didn't know - such as older ladybugs being orange and younger ones being red. Great job! Keep up the wonderful writing!!!
This was well-written. The rhythm and flow of this piece were spot on. I could see the dandelion, the black storm clouds, feel the pelting rain. You had wonderful descriptions here. I saw no issues that needed to be addressed. Keep up the wonderful writing!
This is a great poem that pays a wonderful tribute to true friends. I love the message in this. The rhythm and flow did well. My only suggestion would be that you don't always need a capital letter at the beginning of a line if that line is a continuation of the thought in the line before it. An example is below:
"When you’re in pain, when you hurt, they’ll be there, they know your worth."
Other than that, you did a wonderful job. Keep up the wonderful writing!
This was well written. The rhythm and flow were spot on. The rhyming pattern was effective. I did not see any issues that needed to be addressed. As I read, I remembered those days of splashing through mud puddles, singing and dancing in the rain, and the lil yellow rubber ducks. Great job. Keep up the wonderful writing!
This was a beautifully written poem that points out the only Way, Jesus. I love reading faith-based poems, and writing them as well. You did really well on this. The rhythm and flow were spot on. The rhyme worked out well. Keep up the wonderful writing - and keep the faith!!
This was well-written, and I enjoyed reading your experience on WDC. I love how you point out how writing is so addictive to those of us here, not to mention, therapy of sorts. The rhythm and flow were spot-on, as was the rhyme scheme. Keep up the wonderful writing!
This was very well written. I can feel the pain of these "forgotten ones." It's sad that so many live like this and you point this out beautifully. The rhythm and flow were spot-on. I enjoyed reading this. I think it's time we do more to help these folks. Keep up the wonderful writing.
The rhythm and flow of this poem was great. I loved the rhyme pattern. I totally get the message of the husband-wife conundrum. Your solution seems to work well. You did a great job on this. I saw nothing that needed to be changed or improved. Keep up the great writing!
This has the beginnings of a very good story. Your descriptions are vivid, the raw emotions can be felt. It left me feeling bad for the little boy, Adrian. You did really well on this. I saw nothing that detracted away from the story. Keep up the wonderful writing!
I could feel the pain and the heartache as I read through this. Losing someone we love is never an easy thing. I love how you embrace your grief in this. The rhythm, flow and rhyme all worked together to make this a wonderful read. Keep up the great writing.
I could really picture the house, and a little toddler climbing up and down the steps. As far as the yellow jacket nest - ouch! So glad you didn't get stung. This was really well-written and I enjoyed reading. You really painted a picture with your words. Great job. Keep up the wonderful writing!!
This was an interesting read. The rhythm and flow worked really well. You painted a picture with your words. This was very well written. I could see the ice, feel the chill. The only suggestion I have is when one line continues to the next in a single thought, you don't necessarily need to capitalize the first letter of the line. Other than that, outstanding writing! Keep it up!!
The rhythm and flow of this poem were spot-on. I could feel the hurt and then feel the glimmer of hope as you once again found love in this poem. This goes to show that even after heartbreak, one can still find love, even if they aren't looking. This gives hope to those who've ever had their heart broken. Very well done. Keep up the wonderful writing!!!
Ha Ha! I loved this! I, too, hate the cold weather winter brings us! It hurts my teeth when they chatter! The rhythm and flow of this were spot on! I love the touch of humor you bring into this! You literally mirrored my sentiments of snowy Christmases! Keep up the wonderful writing!
This was a wonderfully written poem. The rhythm and flow were spot-on and worked well with the rhyme scheme. There's a message in this poem, if one dares to look. I really enjoyed reading this. I have no suggestions to offer, other than to leave this poem just the way it is. Keep up the great writing, my friend!
This was well written. The rhythm, flow and rhyme all work great together. I enjoyed reading about the different Olympic sports. You did a great job on this poem. The fact that you added at the end of the page the prompt and in the poem, you bold the words that were required for the prompt. Keep up the wonderful writing!
I think we have all felt the sting of failure. Your words are raw emotion. I can definitely feel the pain you felt when writing this. However, you are NOT a failure, no matter what the world may tell you. Believe in yourself. Keep writing - it's great therapy!
This was a cute poem about a dog who would rather have belly rubs than go hunting. The rhythm, flow and rhyme all worked together to make this an easy read. I love the humor you sprinkle in throughout this poem. I have two dogs myself, and to them, nothing beats a belly rub! Keep up the wonderful writing.
Rhoswen
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