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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bray2015/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10
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574 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of " Killing Crows "  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I love the rhythm, flow and rhyme of this poem. It was beautifully written, however tragic in tale. It was great to hear the dragons killed the crows, though. I can't stand them anyway - they sound so obnoxious. Keep up the wonderful writing, my friend!

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Review of On Being Blue  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed reading this poem! I feel the same way about blue cases and above! The rhythm and flow of this piece is great, and the rhyme scheme really helped the flow. The way you look at being a blue case is refreshing to see - the fact that you look for opportunities to help others and be active on WDC. Keep up the great work!

B.M. Ray
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I loved this collaboration between you and Lostwordsmith ! The rhythm and flow is wonderful and it read very smoothly from one stanza to the next! And as a writer, I can definitely relate to the inability to find some inspiration and the frustration that comes with it, and then the joy I feel when it finally comes back! Great job! Keep up the great writing!

B.M. Ray
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I loved this! I'm horrible at Acrostics, but you did awesome on this! I enjoyed reading - the rhythm and flow really worked well. I can see why your hubby loved this - It's full of passion and desire, and speaks of the promise you made to each other. Great job and keep up the wonderful writing!

B.M. Ray
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Review of Three Wishes  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This was great! I enjoyed the rhythm and flow of this piece. The rhyme scheme worked well. I had to laugh at that last part about the cat being turned into a man and talking about the mixed blessings that came with it. Great job on this piece! Keep up the great writing!

B.M. Ray
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Review of You are Not There  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow! This was beautifully written. I really connected with you in the sense that your Mom isn't there, and you feel that you still need her (who doesn't still need their Mom around?) I feel the same about my Daddy. Your pain is evident in this poem. Keep up the beautiful writing!

B.M. Ray
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Okay, I must admit I had to read this twice. Not because I saw anything wrong or couldn't get the picture..but because it was funny! It's really great when a reader comes back to read something just simply because they enjoyed it so much the first time! Keep up the wonderful writing!!

B.M. Ray
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Review of Dear Me  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed reading this! You really have some wonderful goals for this year, yet you keep them realistic. I believe you can do this! Keep up the great writing!

B.M. Ray
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234
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed reading this poem. The rhythm and flow worked really well. I'm not real familiar with strict form poetry, but I believe that you did well in adhering to the form of a sonnet. I really felt the sentiments in this poem of wanting God's peace - and to be used by God. Keep up the wonderful writing!

B.M. Ray
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Review of Home of the Brave  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed reading this! Rhythm and flow were perfect. This is a beautiful tribute to both our country, and the men and women who fight for our country! I have no suggestions for improvement on this piece. While I'm not familiar with poetry style or form, based on your descriptions at the bottom, I believe you did well in keeping with that form. Keep up the wonderful writing!

B.M. Ray
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, jinxed_myself !


I just read your item, "A Charmed Life, Chapter 3 and would like to share my humble thoughts with you Please bear in mind these are just my thoughts. Use what works for you and discard the rest.



Plot:

The plot for this story was easy to follow, easy for me to determine, and matched well with your description of your item. My attention was grabbed within the first few lines and held throughout the entire chapter. I did not see any holes in the plot that made it difficult to stay with the theme of the story.

Characterization:

Your characterizations were realistic as much as can be with giants in a story. But overall, your characters were believable, and I could relate to the emotions of each one. Very well done in describing your characters and their emotions!

Grammar:

Grammar, punctuation and spelling were all consistently acceptable in the fact that they did not distract the reader. However, I might suggest running spell check just to be sure. I think between Chapter 2 and Chapter 3, there might have been one or two spelling mistakes that a spell check would quickly find and fix. Other than that, I didn't see any issues here.

Flow of Chapter or Story:

The flow of each chapter within itself, and the flow of the story from chapter to chapter was natural. I really like the idea of leaving the link to the next chapter at the bottom of the page. It made it much easier to go from chapter to chapter.

Dialogue:

Dialogue between the characters seemed natural and it was easy to determine who was speaking at which point in the story. Great job!

Setting:

I could really picture the scenes as I read through. The descriptions of the settings, the characters involved, it all flowed very natural and was really easy to see the picture in my mind. Wonderful!

Other Comments:

Before I reviewed Chapter 3, I also read through Chapter 1 and Chapter 2. I really believe this will turn out to be a wonderful, engaging fantasy novel. Keep up the wonderful writing!

If you have any questions, please feel free to email me back! Thank you for sharing!




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Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello, druid !


I just read your item, "The Long Wait, Part 1 and would like to share my humble thoughts with you Please bear in mind these are just my thoughts. Use what works for you and discard the rest.



Plot:

It was plain that the plot of this story was a rekindled love after 10 years of separation. For me, it grabbed my attention and kept my attention throughout the entire chapter. I didn't see any holes in the plot. Well done in this area.

Characterization:

Your characters, their personalities, their manner of speaking...it was all believable. Each character had their own voice, their own way of thinking. My only suggestions in this area would be to describe a little bit more about how they met, what attracted them to each other. Otherwise well done in this area.

Grammar:

I did not see any issues with grammar, punctuation, spelling. This is not to say that there weren't any - just that they were so minor that I did not notice them. Well done in this area.

Flow of Chapter or Story:

This flowed quite well. I did not see anything that interrupted the flow of the story, nor did I see anything that suddenly started or stopped the flow of the story. Well done in this area.

Dialogue:

The dialogue seemed to flow naturally. Dialogue in this chapter was easy to follow, easy to distinguish from the other parts of the story. Well done here as well.

Setting:

The setting seemed natural. However, that being said, I would like to see more descriptions about where Ru was...what color was his couch? What was the layout of the living room? Was there light coming in from the windows or was there a lamp on, or was he in the dark? I really believe with just a little bit more description, your reader could really picture the scene as Ru talked on the phone with Myra.

Other Comments:

To me, this was an intriguing story. One of the things that kept my attention throughout was just the fact that I could relate to being away from a loved one. You did very well in portraying this throughout the story. As I said in the above section on Setting, I believe with just a bit of work and creativity, you can really set the scene. You really did very well on this! Keep up the wonderful writing!

If you have any questions, please feel free to email me back! Thank you for sharing!




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Review of Marked  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I really enjoyed reading this dark poem. I could feel the torment and the sadness. The rhythm, the flow and the rhyme all worked together to make this an easy read, no matter how dark and twisted. Great job on this! Keep up the wonderful writing and I am sure to come back and read more!

B.M. Ray
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This was beautifully written! The rhythm, the flow and the rhyme all worked in unison to make this an easy, pleasurable read. I, too, thank Jesus every day for what He has done, how He has changed me, and the sacrifice He made so that I may be healed. You expressed this so well. Keep up the great writing!

B.M. Ray
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Review of Miami Moon  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was beautiful to read. I could hear the glasses clinking, feel the breeze...you did awesome on this. Rhythm, flow and rhyme all work together and as I read, I was able to feel the calming of my mind. It really paints a picture - one thing you are very good at. Keep up the wonderful writing!

B.M. Ray
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Review of Broken heart  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed reading this poem. It is a beautiful tribute to your wife. The rhythm and flow and rhyme all come together very well to make this easy to read. You really expressed the pain of missing her so well - I could feel your pain and longing for her as I read. Keep up the wonderful writing!

B.M. Ray
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I love how this is so encouraging to yourself. You set your goal to be specific. It's a reachable goal with measurable progress. I admire the way you give solutions to possible issues that may come up. Great job! I really believe you will be able to accomplish your goal - remember the old cliche from Nike - "Just do it." You can handle this!

B.M. Ray
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Review of My Mind  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed reading this poem. I, too, deal with the racing thoughts, the mind that won't shut down at times. Your poem really described this very well. Rhythm and flow, rhyme scheme...it all worked together to make this a pleasurable, easy read. Keep up the wonderful writing!

B.M. Ray
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Review of The Bible  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow! It took me forever to find all the words! Keep making these! You are awesome!

B.M. Ray
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245
Review of God loves you  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was beautifully written! Not only does it highlight God's truth, but the rhythm and flow worked perfectly in this! Great job! I really enjoyed reading this! God bless you!

B.M. Ray
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Review of Fireside Tale  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed reading this. You did very well sticking to the spirit of the prompt you were given. I did not see any obvious spelling or grammar issues that detracted away from your story. I could imagine a family of Quapaw people sitting around a fire and listening to the story. Wonderful job! Keep up the great writing!

B.M. Ray
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Review of Blood Money  
Rated: E | (4.5)
You did really well on this! And you exposed the sad truth behind the puppy mills. I only have two suggestions:

"loves been replaced." I think it should be "love's" if you are talking about love itself being replaced.

"Behind closed doors that the eye doesn't see." I would take out the word "that" and change it to "where."

Other than that, wonderful job and keep writing!!

B.M. Ray
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Review of Odin's Eye  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I loved reading this. The only suggestion I would make is to make only the refrain italics...otherwise it makes it difficult to determine where the refrain ends and the next part of the song starts. Other than that, it's awesome and I love the story it tells!

B.M. Ray
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249
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this! It reads very well with great rhythm and flow! Keep up the great writing!

B.M. Ray
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250
Rated: E | (4.5)
Okay, so now you have managed to make me crave sweet stuff! Well done. My only suggestion is that you read this aloud to yourself and check for rhythm and flow...it seems just a bit choppy to me. Other than that, you did quite well. Keep writing!

B.M. Ray
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