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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bray2015/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/5
Review Requests: OFF
574 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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101
101
Review of M3m0RiEs  
Rated: E | (5.0)
First of all, let me start by sending you my condolences on the loss of your mother. I know this was difficult for you to write, and I thank you for sharing. Alzheimer's is a nasty disease to deal with. I can't imagine the heart break you went through as you watched your mother go through this. This was very well-written. It was straight from the heart, and as a reader, I could feel the pain and hurt as I read through this. I don't see anything that needs to be changed or altered in any way. Keep writing!

Oh - I also see that you are new to WDC - please allow me to welcome you to the site! I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

Rhoswen


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
102
102
Review of Orange  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was an interesting read. As I was reading it, I kept thinking of a guy wearing orange t-shirts and orange pants of some sort...the ending was a shocker, although it shouldn't have been...lol. I saw no grammatical issues, and this story flowed well. Keep up the great writing!

Rhoswen


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
103
103
Review of Number Ten  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I thought this was well-written. I can imagine Joey chasing the hens around, then being chased by the rooster and threatening it. This was great! I saw nothing that needed to be corrected. The rhythm and flow were spot-on. I laughed when I read the last part, where Joey threatens to send number 11 to "chicken heaven." Very nicely done!

Rhoswen


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
104
104
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a great tribute poem for WDC's 10th birthday! You really did great on this. I saw no issues with flow, rhythm, grammar or anything else. I enjoyed reading this and I love how you tied in for your reader to look back to their tenth birthday. Keep up the wonderful writing!

Rhoswen


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
105
105
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was written really well. The flow and the rhythm were spot-on. I love how you repeated the phrase, "more than that." It really causes the point of how much you think of this person to hit home for the reader. I didn't see any issues that needed to be addressed. Keep up the great writing!

Rhoswen


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
106
106
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love the inspiration in this, and the way you paint a picture of the sunlight with your words. I love how you bring it all back to God. You really did well with this! I did not see any issues with spelling, grammar, punctuation or other areas. Very well-done! Keep up the wonderful writing!

Rhoswen


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
107
107
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a touching poem about what it might be like as an abandoned pet that was left behind when it's family moved away. I love how you tie into that the relationship between the man and the girl and their dog. You did really well with this and I could feel the emotion. I have no suggestions for improvement on this. Keep up the wonderful writing!

Rhoswen


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
108
108
Review of Rose Red  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed reading this, and your ability to paint the scene with your words - I could picture Snow White and Rose Red. You did a really great job on this - my only suggestion would be to continue this story - I wanna know how it ends! This kept me wanting to read on. Awesome job - keep up the wonderful writing!

Rhoswen


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
109
109
Review of Look at Me!  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love the repeating lines of "Look at me! What do you see -" The rhythm and flow of this poem are great! I enjoyed reading this and even chuckled a time or two (or maybe three or four!) I wouldn't change a think in this, to be honest. Great job - keep up the wonderful writing!

Rhoswen


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
110
110
Review of Dare To Be  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I absolutely love this! What an awesome way to encourage your daughter - or any young woman, for that matter (and even those of us who are not so young!*Bigsmile* ) I have no suggestions for improvement, as I think this flows perfectly, and your words are chosen carefully. Great job! Write on, my friend!

Bonnie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
111
111
Review of Canyons of Light  
Rated: E | (4.5)
You did pretty well on this poem. You painted a picture with your words, created a scene with words. Great job. I only have a few suggestions:

3rd stanza, 2nd line - "the sky, each minute painting" - you have two spaces between the words sky and each....is this intentional?

3rd stanza, 4th line - "edifices , unappreciated by..." - I suggest removing the space between the word edifices and the comma.

4th stanza, " an inner glow
a self assurance" - I am wondering if some sort of punctuation here would be appropriate - not a period, but maybe a comma or a ; ?

Other than these suggestions, I think you did a really good job on this! Keep up the great writing!

Bonnie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
112
112
Review of Dear Me 2018  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I really enjoyed reading this! This was way better than my letter to myself for 2018 - you have a gift - to be able to bring humor into your writing! I believe that by doing this in two colors, and adding all of the emoticons, it added to the humor, and truly made it sound like you were having a conversation. Your little comment at the bottom about this being how you truly talk to yourself and the fact that you aren't currently in therapy just added a great laugh to the end of this, leaving your readers with a smile! I didn't see any issues with spacing, punctuation, spelling or grammar. Great job with this, and I look forward to reading next year's edition!

Bonnie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
113
113
Review of He Felt The Nails  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Wow! You truly have a powerful poem of faith here. I don't have any suggestions. The rhythm and flow seemed to be spot-on, and I love how the last line of the poem has the same feel, but an entirely different meaning. Wonderful job on this! Keep up the great writing!

Bonnie
114
114
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a beautiful tribute poem to a loved one. Sad, but beautiful. The rhythm and flow seemed to work well, as did the rhyme scheme. I really enjoyed reading this. The emotion in this poem is raw and it's easy for the reader to feel them. Great job! Keep writing!

Bonnie
115
115
Rated: E | (4.5)
I love how you personified the days of the week. So many can relate to the sentiments you share in this. I can feel the emotions, and picture a lady (i.e. each day of the week,) sitting at her desk and working though the week while looking forward to the weekend again. You did wonderful on this. Great job. Keep up the wonderful writing!

Bonnie
116
116
Review of My Imagination  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this! This is the conundrum faced by so many of us writers, and you capture it beautifully! My favorite part was the following line, cause in my mind, we do this daily - if not more often:

"What if he spends all his life fighting a war against monsters, after which he died in peace, but some humans selfishly brought him back to life?"

Great job on this - keep up the wonderful writing!

Bonnie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
117
117
Review of Spare Me  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love the faith in this poem - and I can picture Jesus sitting on a front porch, beckoning for someone to come and sit with Him. Your rhythm and flow are impeccable. I love how you interpret how Jesus would want us to live. Great job, keep up the wonderful writing!

Bonnie
118
118
Rated: E | (5.0)
I loved this! I could hear the howling, feel the cold. The rhythm and flow were impeccable. You have such a great talent for painting a picture with your words. I have no offerings for improvements on this. Keep on writing, my friend. Oh - and I love the wolf signature you placed at the bottom - suits this poem so well!

Bonnie
119
119
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill*



Hello Pat ~ starting a new journey !

I just read "Guidelines for Reviewing and would like to share my thoughts with you. Use what works for you and discard the rest. But whatever you do, KEEP WRITING!!




*Flowert* General Impression *Flowert*

I came upon this article while going through the PDG Rockin' Review Academy's resource list. "Guidelines for Reviewing is very informative, yet easy to follow, and it really got me to thinking about how I review other authors' works.


*FlowerP* Something to Think About *FlowerP*

One of the things that really impressed me was the fact that you shared about yourself when talking about always being helpful. I, too, have had issues with "telling" rather than "showing." The fact that you shared this, and also shared how one honest review really helped you work on this issue made it seem as though I could learn in much the same way.


*Flowery* Things You Might Want to Work On *Flowery*

In the section titled, Make your rating match your review. - maybe add a link to "The Star Rating System, (entry #700404). A sentence or two highlighting what is written in this might help your readers grasp the rating system a bit better. I've been on and off WDC for years since 2008, and I'm still trying to figure out the star rating system. Adding this link to "Guidelines for Reviewing would benefit your reader.


*FlowerV* Closing Comments *Flowerv*

One thing that made this easy for me to follow was the way you formatted it. You started each section in bold, blue font. This made it easy for me to see you were moving on to a new topic of reviewing tips.

I also like how you showed your template and copied the template itself into your article. This makes it easy for someone who is new to reviewing to copy and paste this into a review template, where all they would have to do is personalize it for themselves with their username. Very nicely done here.

When an author asks for advice or input, it shows me the author is serious about improving their craft. You did this towards the end of your article, and it really impacted me by showing me that you care about what information you are putting out there for Newbies (and us older users) to learn from.

The fact that you added links to articles at the end of your article really gave me an opportunity to see helpful articles that I may not have otherwise seen. Thank you for this, as it gives me more places to look for information on how to create a review template and even another place to look for information regarding a first review - something that sometimes I need to re-examine from time to time.

This was very well done. Thank you for all of the information!


These are my thoughts and ideas alone. I hope you found them helpful. Not all of us see writing or any one piece in the same light. Please take what helps you from my comments and ignore the rest.

Thank you for allowing me to read and review your writing. Keep up the good work, and best of luck with all of your writing.

Happy Writing!
*Quill*

B.M. Ray


** Image ID #2116651 Unavailable **





*Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
120
120
Review of Purple  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Key* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon*



Hello ⭐Princette♥Pengthulu !

I read your "Purple as part of my participation with "The House of Targaryen" in the "Game of Thrones" event this month.



*Dragon* General Impression

I love the way you talk about how important the color purple is to you and how much you love it. Your descriptions of how it is your favorite color really resonated with me - I think partially because purple is also my favorite color. Very nicely done!


*Dragon* Something to Think About

One suggestion someone gave me that I use often is to read my work out loud as if I've never seen it before. This help me to choose my words wisely, correct any issues with grammar, punctuation or rhythm and flow. This works really well with poetry, but it can also work with other types of writing as well.


*Dragon* Things You Might Want to Work On

I noticed in this, the rhythm seemed to be a tad bit off - not much, but just enough to be noticed. If you take my suggestion from above, it may help you with fixing that.

Also, in your stanzas, if line two is a continuation of line one, you needn't capitalize it. See my example below:

I’m addicted to purple hues;
if I don’t get them, chaos will ensue.
So please just get me purple today,
so I can keep the tears at bay.


Other than that, I did not see any issues. You did quite well on this piece.


*Dragon* Closing Comments

I think this is a really neat poem about your favorite color - showing just how important purple is to you. Very nicely done!


These are my thoughts and ideas alone. I hope you found them helpful. Not all of us see writing or any one piece in the same light. Please take what helps you from my comments and ignore the rest.

Thank you for allowing me to read and review your writing. Keep up the good work, and best of luck with all of your writing.

Happy Writing! *Dragon2*

B.M. Ray


** Image ID #2128915 Unavailable **



*Dragon* This Review was done on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


*Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Key* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
121
121
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Key* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon*



Hello Fyn - !

I read your "The Christmas Angel - the story version. as part of my participation with "The House of Targaryen" in the "Game of Thrones" event this month.



*Dragon* General Impression

I love this story - it shows how much love can truly triumph when we put our hearts into it. Having been the victim of too many bullies, I completely understand the pain you experienced in this. Great job!


*Dragon* Something to Think About

I love how you use descriptions to show what you're feeling, seeing, experiencing. Very nicely done.


*Dragon* Things You Might Want to Work On

He had an immense rocking chair fashioned of old, knotty branches, polished to a honeyed glow that was where I usually found him. - I wonder if mentioning that you usually found him in his rocking chair should be a new sentence?


and how colder or warming seasons would add character - did you mean to say warmer?

I became the butt of everyone’s jokes, I was laughed at and teased and I was miserable. - I think this might be better as two sentences.

but the cold, deep inside of me - I don't think you need the comma after the word cold.

Other than these, I really think you did well on this. Other than these, I did not notice any grammar, spelling, word usage or punctuation problems. Nicely done!

*Dragon* Closing Comments

This was my favorite part:
There on top of the Christmas Tree,
carved with a message for the masses,
was a beautiful smiling angel
wearing a thick pair of glasses!


It shows love and understanding for someone who had gone through something terrible and survived - and was still beautiful, even if others didn't see it.

This was a very nice story to read.


These are my thoughts and ideas alone. I hope you found them helpful. Not all of us see writing or any one piece in the same light. Please take what helps you from my comments and ignore the rest.

Thank you for allowing me to read and review your writing. Keep up the good work, and best of luck with all of your writing.

Happy Writing! *Dragon2*

B.M. Ray


** Image ID #2128915 Unavailable **



*Dragon* This Review was done on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


*Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Key* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
122
122
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Key* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon*



Hello Maci !

I read your "Love At First Sight as part of my participation with "The House of Targaryen" in the "Game of Thrones" event this month.



*Dragon* General Impression

I love your take on becoming Grandma and looking into your grandchild's eyes for the first time. This poem is really heart-warming and it made me feel really cuddly inside. Nicely done!


*Dragon* Something to Think About

I often like to read my writing out loud to myself as if I've never seen it before to check for issues with rhythm/flow, word usage, grammar, etc. This helps me to know if I am "telling" or "showing" my reader what I am talking about.


*Dragon* Things You Might Want to Work On

I didn't see any issues with rhythm/flow, grammar, word usage. This poem really flowed well, and I don't see anything that needs to be changed.


*Dragon* Closing Comments

This was such a beautiful tribute to becoming a Grandma! Very well done. My favorite part is:

The first look into those eyes will never be forgotten
I hear the first Grandchild tends to be spoiled rotten
Oh darn, what a bother to be saddled with such a curse.
Grand kids are such fun; I should have had them first


If we could have our grandchildren first, what a time we would have - but then we may not have learned the lessons that we learned as we were raising our own kids. Great job on this poem! Thanks for the uplift!


These are my thoughts and ideas alone. I hope you found them helpful. Not all of us see writing or any one piece in the same light. Please take what helps you from my comments and ignore the rest.

Thank you for allowing me to read and review your writing. Keep up the good work, and best of luck with all of your writing.

Happy Writing! *Dragon2*

B.M. Ray


** Image ID #2128915 Unavailable **



*Dragon* This Review was done on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


*Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Key* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
123
123
Review of Autumn Passage  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Key* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon*



Hello 🌓 HuntersMoon !

I read your "Autumn Passage as part of my participation with "The House of Targaryen" in the "Game of Thrones" event this month.



*Dragon* General Impression

I love the way you paint a picture with your words, and the colors you use in your font really help the flow from season to season. Your descriptions hear made an easy go from fall to winter to spring and summer. Very nicely done.


*Dragon* Something to Think About

I enjoyed reading your note at the bottom of the page where you describe the form you used - I learned something new by reading about this form. Great job!


*Dragon* Things You Might Want to Work On

I didn't see any issues with rhythm, flow, word usage. My only suggestion would be a slight change in font color in your last stanza to make it a bit more readable for those of us whose eyesight isn't what it used to be. Very well written poem!


*Dragon* Closing Comments

I think my favorite part of this was:

A blending
of fervid summer days
with the first embrace of winter chill.
A time of contemplation against a backdrop
of change as nature presses ruby
lips to the leaves in a
fond farewell.


I love the imagery of ruby red lips pressing against leaves. It really made me think about the changes we see in the fall with the leaves and makes it even more vivid.

This was very well written and I really enjoyed reading it!

These are my thoughts and ideas alone. I hope you found them helpful. Not all of us see writing or any one piece in the same light. Please take what helps you from my comments and ignore the rest.

Thank you for allowing me to read and review your writing. Keep up the good work, and best of luck with all of your writing.

Happy Writing! *Dragon2*

B.M. Ray


** Image ID #2128915 Unavailable **



*Dragon* This Review was done on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


*Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Key* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
124
124
Review of Old Guard  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Key* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon*



Hello Fyn - !

I read your "Old Guard as part of my participation with "The House of Targaryen" in the "Game of Thrones" event this month.



*Dragon* General Impression

This was a very touching poem about the guards at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington Cemetery. I never realized exactly how many steps they took, or the rhythm of what they do.


*Dragon* Something to Think About

I love the way you talk about exactly how many steps they take, how long they pause facing the Tomb, and how they do this no matter the weather or what's going on around them. It is definitely a beautiful tribute to our fallen.


*Dragon* Things You Might Want to Work On

I did not see any issues with word usage, rhythm and flow, grammar or punctuation. You did exceptionally well on this.


*Dragon* Closing Comments

When it comes to tribute pieces, I hesitate to offer any suggestions due to the personal nature. With that being said, I don't think you need to change anything in this. This is a beautiful tribute to the guards that offer this sacrifice to their fallen brothers and sisters. Thank you so much for sharing.

This really made me think about the sacrifices our soldiers make for us - not just on foreign soil, but on our own soil as well, such as guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. It is an honor, and one that we should be thankful for. Beautifully done.

I also like the way you added the link at the bottom so one can go to read more about the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. This really helps put things in perspective for your readers. Great job!


These are my thoughts and ideas alone. I hope you found them helpful. Not all of us see writing or any one piece in the same light. Please take what helps you from my comments and ignore the rest.

Thank you for allowing me to read and review your writing. Keep up the good work, and best of luck with all of your writing.

Happy Writing! *Dragon2*

B.M. Ray


** Image ID #2128915 Unavailable **



*Dragon* This Review was done on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


*Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Key* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
125
125
Review of Winter  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Key* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon*



Hello Dave is home recovering !

I read your "Winter as part of my participation with "The House of Targaryen" in the "Game of Thrones" event this month.



*Dragon* General Impression

This haiku paints a picture of winter with imagery and sounds. It was simple, but paints a picture that one can visualize in their mind's eye. Nicely done.


*Dragon* Something to Think About

One tip I always like to give writers (as it has helped me tremendously with my writing) is to read your works out loud to yourself as if you had never seen it before. This helps with making sure the rhythm is smooth, the word usage makes sense, and helps us to see if there is something we can take out or if we need to add something.

While I offer this tip, I do not see any need for changes to this poem - you did a wonderful job!


*Dragon* Things You Might Want to Work On

I did not see any issues with word usage, grammar, rhythm and flow or form of your poem. Very nicely done!


*Dragon* Closing Comments

Reading through "Winter, I could hear the snow crunching under your boots, see the smoke rising from the chimney, and picture a snowman out front in the yard. Your imagery and sound imagery is very nicely done in this poem.

Haiku is very tough for me - all forms of poetry where there is a strict syllable and line count is. But reading your poem about winter made me want to attempt it.


These are my thoughts and ideas alone. I hope you found them helpful. Not all of us see writing or any one piece in the same light. Please take what helps you from my comments and ignore the rest.

Thank you for allowing me to read and review your writing. Keep up the good work, and best of luck with all of your writing.

Happy Writing! *Dragon2*

B.M. Ray


** Image ID #2128915 Unavailable **



*Dragon* This Review was done on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


*Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Key* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon* *Dragon*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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