Reading this brought back memories of raking leaves and diving into the leaf piles as I was growing up. This poem read well, the rhythm, flow and rhyme all worked together. You paint a picture with your words while still leaving some room for the reader's imagination. Very well done! Keep up the great writing!
I love the way you highlight ways to positively interact with those who have memory issues, whether it be Alzheimer's or other memory problems. This story really kept me reading until the end. I love how it ends with it being the son who helped his dad. Great job on this! Keep up the great writing!
This was an interesting topic. The rhythm and flow worked well. I love fairies, and the idea that mushrooms grow in their footprints is something I hadn't even thought of. Great job on this - it will definitely keep me wondering about this! Keep up the great writing!
Great job on this poem - your rhythm, flow and rhyme all worked together to make this an easy read. Your descriptions worked well and painted a picture with your words that I could see. You definitely have a gift for painting pictures with your words! Keep up the great writing!
I had to laugh as I read this - who hasn't had some unwelcome visitor knocking on the door at the most inopportune times? I love how you interjected a bit of humor into this (what will the wife think of the blown diet bit and how you describe your love for Girl Scout cookies.) Your conversation with Chase was not just comical, but it reminded me of my conversations with my dogs - only mine don't bark back at me....they just look at me like I'm crazy or stupid...LOL. Continue to entertain us with these great, comical stories! Write on, my friend!
You did really well with this poem. You painted a picture with your words, and I could see the butterfly stuck in the spider's web, and see you freeing the butterfly. At the end, I could see the spider, probably wondering where its food went to! The rhythm and flow of this poem worked well together. Keep up the great writing!
I love the rhythm and flow of this. The emotion is real and you can really feel the love as you read through the lyrics. You did really well with this. I encourage you to keep writing. You have a really good way of putting emotions into words where your readers can feel what you are feeling - and that is awesome! Write on, my friend!
This is awesome...Some of them I knew about like the slots and the poker. But I am really glad to see how to do a status bar. And the fact that we can flip emoticons now is even better! Thank you so much for sharing this with those of us who are still learning WDC!!
This poem was interesting - it kept me wanting to keep reading! I saw no issues with rhythm, flow or rhyme. I love the ending of this poem - it's just like Santa to make the stockings hold more! This was also a bit humorous, something that is sometimes difficult to interweave into poetry - and you did beautifully! Keep up the wonderful writing!
What a sad but beautiful tribute to a loved one lost. I could feel the pain, see the table setting for this loved one's place, and the pain that is still felt. I saw no distractions to take me away from the sad story of the poem. Rhythm and flow were great, and the rhyme scheme worked out beautifully. Great job! Keep up the great writing!
This was a wonderful tribute to fallen soldiers. As the wife of a former marine, I feel the pain of the ones who were lost, and will always support our soldiers. This was a great way to show appreciation. I did not see any issues with rhythm, flow or rhyme. There was nothing to distract the reader from the message of the poem. You did really well with this! Write on, my friend!
I see you are new to WDC and want to wish you the warmest of welcomes! I hope you find our WDC community to your liking, with all of the support and friendships you could ever want!
As for Land of Make Believe, I think it is inspired! Your rhythm and flow were spot on, and the descriptions you use paint a picture with your words beautifully.
I am so sorry for the loss of your mother! It's always hard to lose a parent. You captured that so well in this poem. As I read, I could feel the hurt from loss, but I could also feel the deep love and devotion you had towards your mom and she had towards you and your brother. Since this is a tribute poem, I don't believe you should change anything - that is unless you want to. From my reading it, there were no problems to address, and this flowed quite well. Keep on writing!
Also, I see that you are new to WDC - please allow me to welcome you to this great community of writers helping writers!
First of all, let me start by sending you my condolences on the loss of your mother. I know this was difficult for you to write, and I thank you for sharing. Alzheimer's is a nasty disease to deal with. I can't imagine the heart break you went through as you watched your mother go through this. This was very well-written. It was straight from the heart, and as a reader, I could feel the pain and hurt as I read through this. I don't see anything that needs to be changed or altered in any way. Keep writing!
Oh - I also see that you are new to WDC - please allow me to welcome you to the site! I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!
This was an interesting read. As I was reading it, I kept thinking of a guy wearing orange t-shirts and orange pants of some sort...the ending was a shocker, although it shouldn't have been...lol. I saw no grammatical issues, and this story flowed well. Keep up the great writing!
I thought this was well-written. I can imagine Joey chasing the hens around, then being chased by the rooster and threatening it. This was great! I saw nothing that needed to be corrected. The rhythm and flow were spot-on. I laughed when I read the last part, where Joey threatens to send number 11 to "chicken heaven." Very nicely done!
This was a great tribute poem for WDC's 10th birthday! You really did great on this. I saw no issues with flow, rhythm, grammar or anything else. I enjoyed reading this and I love how you tied in for your reader to look back to their tenth birthday. Keep up the wonderful writing!
This was written really well. The flow and the rhythm were spot-on. I love how you repeated the phrase, "more than that." It really causes the point of how much you think of this person to hit home for the reader. I didn't see any issues that needed to be addressed. Keep up the great writing!
I love the inspiration in this, and the way you paint a picture of the sunlight with your words. I love how you bring it all back to God. You really did well with this! I did not see any issues with spelling, grammar, punctuation or other areas. Very well-done! Keep up the wonderful writing!
This was a touching poem about what it might be like as an abandoned pet that was left behind when it's family moved away. I love how you tie into that the relationship between the man and the girl and their dog. You did really well with this and I could feel the emotion. I have no suggestions for improvement on this. Keep up the wonderful writing!
I enjoyed reading this, and your ability to paint the scene with your words - I could picture Snow White and Rose Red. You did a really great job on this - my only suggestion would be to continue this story - I wanna know how it ends! This kept me wanting to read on. Awesome job - keep up the wonderful writing!
I love the repeating lines of "Look at me! What do you see -" The rhythm and flow of this poem are great! I enjoyed reading this and even chuckled a time or two (or maybe three or four!) I wouldn't change a think in this, to be honest. Great job - keep up the wonderful writing!
I absolutely love this! What an awesome way to encourage your daughter - or any young woman, for that matter (and even those of us who are not so young! ) I have no suggestions for improvement, as I think this flows perfectly, and your words are chosen carefully. Great job! Write on, my friend!
You did pretty well on this poem. You painted a picture with your words, created a scene with words. Great job. I only have a few suggestions:
3rd stanza, 2nd line - "the sky, each minute painting" - you have two spaces between the words sky and each....is this intentional?
3rd stanza, 4th line - "edifices , unappreciated by..." - I suggest removing the space between the word edifices and the comma.
4th stanza, " an inner glow
a self assurance" - I am wondering if some sort of punctuation here would be appropriate - not a period, but maybe a comma or a ; ?
Other than these suggestions, I think you did a really good job on this! Keep up the great writing!
I really enjoyed reading this! This was way better than my letter to myself for 2018 - you have a gift - to be able to bring humor into your writing! I believe that by doing this in two colors, and adding all of the emoticons, it added to the humor, and truly made it sound like you were having a conversation. Your little comment at the bottom about this being how you truly talk to yourself and the fact that you aren't currently in therapy just added a great laugh to the end of this, leaving your readers with a smile! I didn't see any issues with spacing, punctuation, spelling or grammar. Great job with this, and I look forward to reading next year's edition!
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) I have no suggestions for improvement, as I think this flows perfectly, and your words are chosen carefully. Great job! Write on, my friend!