*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bray2015/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/7
Review Requests: OFF
576 Public Reviews Given
579 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 3 4 5 6 -7- 8 9 10 11 ... Next
151
151
Review of The Rebirthday  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
"with emotions that seemed of overwhelm her." - shouldn't it read "with emotions that seemed TO overwhelm her."

Other than that, this was a well-written, intriguing story. I loved the ending! Keep up the great writing!

Bonnie
152
152
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautifully written! Flow, rhythm and rhyme are perfect! Great job! Keep up the wonderful writing!

B.M. Ray
153
153
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed this poem. Rhythm and flow seemed to work beautifully, as did the rhyme. I could picture certain aspects of this - ripples in a pond, diamonds glowing white. You really did well with this. Keep up the wonderful writing - I love reading your poetry!

B.M. Ray
154
154
Review of BANG!  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
Okay, for an intentionally bad story, you succeeded. The plot of the story was lost on me. I was bored reading it. I do, however, like how the purple monster turned out to be a trick-or-treating child. You may not have won the Intentionally Bad Story Contest, but this definitely qualified as a bad story. Keep writing, my friend - and I am sure that you write very well.

B.M. Ray
155
155
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was a very informative article. It was well-written, and pointed out several different types of lighthouses. My only two suggestions are: Double check the formatting of the 4th paragraph - I'm not sure if you meant to use two paragraphs or one, and I had to read it twice. The only other thing was when I tried to bring up the PopUp Text, it wouldn't show anything. Other than that, you did a wonderful job on this! Great job - keep up the wonderful writing!

B.M. Ray
156
156
Review of With Great Thanks  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a wonderful tribute to auric. There are so many wonderful people here on WDC! I am glad you got your inspiration back. Remember, one day at a time. You will get there. This was very well written, and I will be going to check out that poem you mentioned. Keep up the great writing!

B.M. Ray
157
157
Review of FEMA Blues  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I enjoyed reading this. Rhythm, flow and rhyme all worked together. Sadly enough, this is the truth of FEMA - when they are needed, they are not there. You did wonderful on this poem. It reflects what survivors of Katrina are still going through, even to this day. Keep up the wonderful writing!

B.M. Ray
158
158
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was well-written and although sad, I did enjoy reading it! I did not see any grammatical issues that made it difficult to read. I would like to read more about your brother. I would be interested to know more about your relationship with your brother. Keep up the wonderful writing!

B.M. Ray
159
159
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
This was beautiful! Funny, worrisome and quite interesting. We never know what our little four-legged children are up to! This was well-written and easy to follow. I did not see any grammatical issues that took away from the story or distracted me. I was glad to find out that Boo didn't actually eat the little blue bread tie. Keep up the great writing!

B.M. Ray
160
160
Review of The Artist  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed reading this. I could picture an artist sitting at his canvas, painting. I could see the colors as he puts them on the canvas. Rhythm, flow and rhyme all work really well together. This was beautifully written. Keep up the wonderful writing!

B.M. Ray
161
161
Review of The Horizon  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
"All, conditions of life" - do you really need the comma after the word "All"? it seemed to me to break up the rhythm a bit in this line.

Other than that, I think you did wonderful on this. Great emotion, great message. Other than what I pointed out above, the rhythm seemed to work very well. Keep up the wonderful writing!

B.M. Ray
162
162
Review of She's A Rock  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is beautiful. You followed form perfectly and I love how you pay tribute to your sister. I could actually feel the pain, but I could also feel the strength she has. More than that, I could feel your love for her. I loved the hourglass type shape the poem is in as well. Keep up the wonderful writing!

Bonnie M. Ray
163
163
Review of Gratitude  
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a beautiful story of how adoption can go so well. Sadly, not all adoptions end this way. You did beautifully on this and I really loved reading it. It was well-written and what I loved the most is the fact that it was written from the heart. Great job and keep writing!

Bonnie M. Ray
164
164
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
You make such valid points in this! Your observations are well-thought out, well-written and well-rounded. I personally believe that our education system is more interested in statistics rather than a good education for EVERY student, and that is the sad state of our country. You put this out there in a very good rant article. Keep up the wonderful writing!

Bonnie M. Ray
165
165
Review of She  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a beautiful poem for your wife! I hope she loved it! The rhythm and flow seemed to work well, and I could really feel your strong love for her. You really did well on this. I saw nothing that detracted from the poem or caused difficulty reading it. Keep up the wonderful writing!

Bonnie M. Ray
166
166
Review of The Cow Caper  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was quite amusing! The rhythm and flow worked very well, and the rhyme scheme was spot on. Great job on this! I can see why it won the Writer's Cramp for March 17, 2017! I could actually feel the plight of the cow trying to escape a horrible fate. Keep up the wonderful writing!

Bonnie M. Ray
167
167
Review of Spirit Dance  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey, Ken! It's me again. I loved this poem. Based on your description of the Kyrielle Sonnet, you followed this form very well. I love the repetition of the line, "The wind sings of your love to me." The rhythm and flow of this poem is spot on. I can feel the love in this poem. Wonderful job here. Keep up the great writing!

Bonnie M. Ray
168
168
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I could really feel your pain as I read through this. You were able to express deep pain in few words. Just remember, you are not alone. There are those who are with you on your journey, even when it feels you are all alone. This was well-written. I hope and pray all works out for you. Keep writing - writing can be very therapeutic!

B.M. Ray
169
169
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was well-written. I could feel the pain of how it's not fair that your loved one is there and you are here. The only issue I saw was "hop and pray" - believe it should be spelled "hope"...Other than that, great job. The rhythm and flow of this poem was spot on. The rhyme did well, too. Keep up the great writing!

B.M. Ray
170
170
Review of The Debt  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Jeff - this was well-written. And it points out just how manipulative us humans can be. I read through this twice - mainly because I was intrigued by the story. I would love to see where this would go if it was continued. Keep up the wonderful writing!

B.M. Ray
171
171
Review of An Angel's Prayer  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, Ken! I just read this poem and loved it. Rhythm and flow were spot on! Rhyme scheme perfection. And such a valuable lesson in this poem. You really painted a picture with your words. I could see the angel kneeling in prayer, and you kneeling beside her. Beautifully written! Keep up the wonderful writing!

Bonnie M. Ray
172
172
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You did really well on this! The rhythm and flow work really well with the rhyme scheme. Such love as expressed in this shows just how much God loves us! Just reading this gives one hope. Keep up the wonderful writing and keep the faith! It will get you where you need to be!

B.M. Ray
173
173
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a beautiful tribute to your mom, and as such, I really hesitate to give any feedback that would suggest improvements - especially, because as you stated in the first paragraph, you were writing this the same day she passed away. It is raw with love and emotion, and the hurt you felt when she passed away. That being said, I will offer my suggestions for you to either use or discard as you see fit:

"Love those who might not know God love otherwise" - I believe "God's" would work just a bit better here.

"to love those who might know love otherwise. " - I think adding the word "not" between might and know would work better because it seems your mom's message was to show love where one has not known love before.

"I heard her say that I love you but I do not like what you are doing." - I heard her say, "I love you, but I do not like what you are doing."

There are other examples, such as her and Dad quipping, "Where did we get this guy?" - but I don't want to tear apart your poignant piece about your mother.

Please accept my suggestions as just that -suggestions. They are in no way meant as disrespect or to hurt you during an already painful time. Whether you change this or not, it is still a very beautiful tribute to your mother, and I really enjoyed reading!

Keep writing - it is healing!

B.M. Ray
174
174
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Schnujo! This was cute! I loved it. It was simple, yet it flowed well from one line to the next! Great job! Maybe silly, but a great poem for little ones - or for anyone who needs to smile! This is a wonderful picture in words - easy for anyone to imagine! Keep up the great writing!
175
175
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I loved reading this! I could feel the stress and anxiety! And sadly, in this day and age, sometimes it feels like it is machines taking care of us rather than people. The flow and rhythm of this poem seemed spot on to me. Keep up the wonderful writing!

B.M. Ray
274 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 11 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bray2015/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/7