Don't know why- but I love this one! maybe it's the word pomegranates. and the content- stop and have some tea- i'll work later! God bless and keep writing.
This poem has some wonderful moments- very good writing. I would take out the word "And" in the last line of the third stanza- I would rewrite the fourth line in the fourth stanza. Just my opinion. Good job though- excellent writing- God bless and keep writing!
I like the beat in this one- This has short, sharp lines- works very well- I also like the use of- love and hate- and- demons and angel- Bravo, again! God bless and keep writing!
"Ah, man! you wonderful villan! you faithless divine!"- man, you have a way with words! You have a special quality about your work! When I saw your name I knew something good was coming! You seem to have a mixture of the old verse and todays language as well- this is hard to do in my opinion- but you pull it off magnificently! Keep writing and God Bless!
I really like your poem- very discriptive! Left me with a feeling of serenity- like I was looking at the desert with you! Good Job. Bravo! God bless and keep writing!
Inspirational! Magnificent! Exuberant! Excellent! A triumph- I think I will read this every day to remind me of Gods Love and strength! If I could I would rate this Six Stares! this is the first five star poem this morning out of twelve reviews- Bravo! God bless and keep writing!
Interesting poem- reminds me of an out-of-body experiance. In my opinion, the word "lotta" ruins the flow of the poem. I would think about splitting this up into four line stanzas as well- The content is wonderful- i think you need to work on structure. God bless and keep writing!
Third line- think you meant come- not comes- you have a great deal of talent- i think if you write this in more of a conventional form it would work better- God bless and keep writing!
The writing is good, I just think you need to change the form of this to make it work better- Form is to light and happy for this piece- if that makes any sense to you. It distracts from the seriousness of the poem-God bless and keep writing!
Excellent rhythm- syllable count seems to stay between five and seven- Excellent rhyme- with first and third line rhyme scheme- Content delightful and fun. Beautifully done! Bravo! God Bless and keep writing!
First let me say- I am honest with my reviews and rate according to the amount of work I think a poem needs and also upon content- This needs no work in my opinion and the content certainly speaks for itself! The rhyme scheme is interesting and works very well- I am just learning about different rhyme structure and this one flows very well and has a nice sound to my ear: A,A,B,C,C,B. In the first stanza i thought the slant in the first two lines worked well- I read somewhere that a good slant rhyme helps to break the monotony in a rhyming poem. Also your syllable count is very close- First stanza: 7,4,4,10,4,4- Second stanza: 9,4,6,7,4,4. this , in my opinion, gives the poem a good rhythm. The content: Very discriptive- good imagery- This poem has what i call a special "quality" about it. You have the gift! Keep writing and God Bless- Again, I will be checking in from time to time to give my humble, and honest, opinion.
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