Bruce.'s (brucef) Reviews

1

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4872857

Review of Monopoly

Review by Bruce.

Rated: E | (5.0)

A good enjoyable short story is one that keeps me guessing with my guesses being wrong. I thought the sisters would get on at the start but there seemed to be friction. As i continue I could not pre guess what happens next and that is a very good point. The conclusion is great and made this a worthwhile read. I often look for errors and typo's but didn't notice any.

2

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#4872326

Review of Chalk Dust & Broomsticks, Chapter 3

Review by Bruce.

Rated: E | (5.0)

I was looking forward to the selection tour and I was not disappointed. It is a good thing when reading an item and you can imagine that you are a spectator there in the room. I liked the way we were directed into the various areas and heard the comments from the candidates. That was well done and easy to follow. A couple of nit picking bits: In the Junior Wing Mrs Smith becomes Ms Smith. I can't find a previous reference to Mrs Phillips. And: Mrs Catchpole, no relation to Mrs Smith. I don't understand that line. This was an enjoyable and interesting read leaving me wondering if the unfriendly Ms Gardner will get the job.

3

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#4872296

Review of Chalk Dust & Broomsticks, Chapter 2

Review by Bruce.

Rated: E | (5.0)

Another interesting and well written chapter with no errors or typo's noticed. The T.N.R. font has changed but is not a problem, the thing is that the font is a good size making reading easy. The story moves on and the concern of the staff comes across very clear. What will the outcome of the forthcoming inspection be, I wonder?

4

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#4872169

Review of Chalk Dust & Broomsticks, Chapter 1

Review by Bruce.

Rated: E | (5.0)

This seems to have the potential for a good read. It is very visual and easy for the reader (me) to fit in to the story. The words magic and witch appear reminding us discretely of what may lay ahead. It is written (I.M.O.) to a high standard which makes for an enjoyable read. I think she/he should read he or she. Fine in text but I don't think Oggs would say she forward slash he. In the same paragraph I feel Oggs dialogue should be a new paragraph. I look forward to more of this interesting story.

5

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#4868859

Review of In the Valley of the Moon chapter 13

Review by Bruce.

Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

A bit confusing: "The car did not turn towards the cafe this time.". At the end of the last chapter they were just leaving the cafe. Apart from that the chapter moves on and the singing gets intense somehow, but the reader is not aware of how yet.

6

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#4868754

Review of In the Valley of the Moon chapter 12

Review by Bruce.

Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

A good piece of writing with no errors noticed. But I must say that this is not my favorite chapter as it seems to have slowed down and I feel that it has not moved forward

7

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#4868561

Review of In the Valley of the Moon chapter 11

Review by Bruce.

Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

Another good chapter moving the reader on ever so slightly. Mystery is there leaving me wondering has she always known there is something about her or is it a new feeling emerging? I took a brief look back to chapter 1 which was worth while although the author does not give too much away. Less is more as they say. Also we have two men who we are not sure about. All this makes the story readable and I have to read on to find the answers. A well written and interesting chapter with no noticeable errors.

8

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#4868521

Review of In the Valley of the Moon chapter 10

Review by Bruce.

Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

Good chapter with a great hook at the end. We are being fed little bits leading us towards learning more of Junie's gift or maybe not quite a gift. I think we need to know about the playback before Junie says to turn it off as it is a bit confusing at first. An interesting and enjoyable chapter.

9

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#4868461

Review of In the Valley of the Moon chapter 9

Review by Bruce.

Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

The studio seems a bit seedy and not as plush as seen on T.V. programs. The atmosphere of the place comes across very well. It seems as if we are about to find out what is different about Junie. Or maybe we will have to wait a bit longer. The suspense of not knowing is good and keeps me guessing.
The standard of writing remains high in my opinion and as usual, no errors spotted.

10

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#4868377

Review of In the Valley of the Moon chapter 8

Review by Bruce.

Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

Opening paragraph as usual gives the reader a sense of being there with a great atmosphere. It seems like Marie is not to comfortable about her daughter's new direction and there still seems to be friction between the two men which adds to the tension. I look forward to seeing how the story continues at their destination. The writing is again at a high standard and try as I may I can't find anything to criticize..

11

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#4868304

Review of In the Valley of the Moon chapter 7

Review by Bruce.

Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

In the last chapter Skip moved away from the doorway into the room and now he is back at the doorway. It seems that Skip and Johnny are rivals more than acquaintances and it is hard to imagine if one is good and the other bad. Again faultless writing in my opinion.

12

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#4868301

Review of In the Valley of the Moon chapter 6

Review by Bruce.

Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

Another short chapter. Maybe think about combining chapters 5 and 6. Nothing wrong with short chapters, of course. Just my opinion not a criticism. The writing remains good with no noticeable errors. The tension and expectation of the unknown will keep me interested in the story.

13

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#4868166

Review of In the Valley of the Moon chapter 5

Review by Bruce.

Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

A short chapter and the font has got a little smaller but it is still a good read. We hear from Johnny but only visual from.Skip. I thought that they were good friends but it appears not so a bit of a coincidence that they both showed up at the same time. So far I feel that this story has great potential and I look forward to some surprises.

14

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#4868160

Review of In the Valley of the Moon chapter 4

Review by Bruce.

Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

When Junie becomes a young adult two new characters enter the story giving an interesting situation which, as a reader, I think will begin to change things in Junie's life. I look forward to finding out. The writing remains at a high standard and the characters are well drawn. A good readable sized font and I noticed no errors or typo's.

15

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#4868157

Review of In the Valley of the Moon chapter 3

Review by Bruce.

Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

A short but good chapter. A big change in Junie's life as suggested in the chapter title. I was not expecting Jean-Pierre's death which comes over as a great piece of writing. The writing, in my opinion, is of a high standard and has been perfected by the author.. One to watch.

16

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#4868027

Review of In the Valley of the Moon chapter 2

Review by Bruce.

Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

Again we have a great atmosphere in the first paragraph which puts us right into the cafe. The main character is now twelve and I feel as if I have missed something as to why she has been accepted by the cafe owners. Two new siblings are added and all the characters are well-drawn. The font is of a good size making for an easy read. I noticed no errors or typo's in this well crafted piece. There is a nice hint that the moon might have some influence in the story later. Again a good read and enough to have me wanting to read more of this interesting story.

17

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#4867967

Review of In the Valley of the Moon chapter 1

Review by Bruce.

Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

The opening few paragraphs set the scene very well giving a great visual effect. The different sized fonts seemed a bit bizarre but was not too off putting although it might have been if it carried on through the chapter. I assume that the spacing is a error but if so will soon become better line spacing when you get used to the site. The story so far is well-written and I noticed no errors or typo's. An enjoyable and interesting start prompting me to find out more. Well done with this and welcome to W.D.C.

18

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#4840015

Review of DOTD Chapter 13

Review by Bruce.

Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

Why did I start at chapter 13? I looked at the start and found 95.60kb a bit daunting. I realise that others are not so picky as me. Although I missed what went before I could see what was going on as if this chapter stood alone. I found the writing to be of a high standard and of novel quality in the content. I say novel quality because this reads like you are a novelist opposed to my writing which is more suited to a story teller. If only I had the skills that you have. I flowed through this chapter and could not put it down. We have a good hook at the end. Well done with this.

19

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#4829240

Review of The Sound of Plowed Earth

Review by Bruce.

Rated: E | (5.0)

A very nice short story which leaves the reader with their own thoughts on where it goes from the final paragraph. Nicely written and spaced which is a good point as so often the text on some items is small and unspaced. I noticed no errors or typo's. When the farmer sent Laura in I thought it was her father and wondered why she referred to him as Mr Maple, but the answer is revealed later. A good read.

20

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#4826042

Review of Playing Charades table of contents

Review by Bruce.

Rated: E | (4.0)

A good list of chapters and I wonder how many you have completed or prepared a draft for. I feel that you need to capitalise the chapter titles, although it is of course your choice. Nevertheless it is good to see that you have thought through the thread of your story. I did have a look at chapter one but found it a bit heavy going due to the lack of paragraphs so I did not continue. If you go through the chapter and put in the paragraphs and perhaps increase the font size you could surely get a few more readers interested in the story.

21

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#4805829

Review of The Dugs O' Largs

Review by Bruce.

Rated: E | (5.0)

What an absolute delight to come across this story poem. The rhyming is excellent and shows a great skill in rhyming verse. Based on fact as noted below and a story of which I was not aware. My mother was from Arbroath so I had no trouble with the dialect, but for those that may struggle there is an index type list at the end.

22

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#4805210

Review of Dream Jumper Ch 4

Review by Bruce.

Rated: E | (5.0)

I don't know if this is the end or if it will be continued. Either way it is a good ending to the chapter or the story. It has been a very good journey through the young girls years and I have enjoyed the read. It is always good to find something different especially if the writing is of a good standard. Well done.

23

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#4805194

Review of Dream Jumper Ch 3

Review by Bruce.

Rated: E | (5.0)

You certainly have a way with words. We start off with some short but descriptive journeys which are easy to imagine. Then the conversations with her mother at home and in hospital are very well handled and the writing seems sympathetic to the mother's last moments of life. Learning of the bad people adds to the drama and the suspense of the unknown events yet to come, perhaps.

24

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#4805175

Review of Dream Jumper Ch 2

Review by Bruce.

Rated: E | (5.0)

This fascinating tale continues to keep me interested. This chapter is like a story within a story. The writing, to me, is faultless and errors cannot be seen. As a reader I am left wondering what the next adventure will be when the the girl jumps into another dream. As we know, a dream can go anywhere.

25

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#4805170

Review of Dream Jumper Ch 1

Review by Bruce.

Rated: E | (5.0)

After a good informative prologue, the main body of the story starts here. The writing continues at a good standard and the characterisation puts the reader fully into the events. I like the story because it is something different and prompts me to read on to find out where it goes from here.