|Hello Jen. I hear you on the anxiety you feel along with the fear. I've never really had the fear but the anxiety I've had at times, turned me into a raging madman I'd get so frustrated at times. I'd be ranting and raving and no my rants don't get raves...lol
The not having insurance is a real killer [no pun intended] but without it, we're left helpless. It's a sad situation in this respect and awful for the people, as yourself who don't have it.
I'm the same way with a cat I had, called Big Jack [heart defect] and now with Mitzy, Monty and Jacqui [Jacqui has slight brain damage along with diminishing eyesight]. Jacqui is such a sweet girl too it breaks my heart. So, I haven't traveled since 2007. Either on a plane or out of state driving.
I refuse to leave my cats by themselves for any extended period of time. If one ever needed me and I wasn't there for them, it would kill me. I was there when Big Jack took his heart attack and then a stroke. I was extremely heartbroken and sad but he knew I was there with him until the end as he was holding my hand with his paw and wouldn't let go.
I can go out of the house, I've learned to control my anxiety to the point I can function. With my anxiety I don't turned inward, I turn angry, frustrated and sometimes mean as hell. Thank God I have an understanding wife who has helped me through the years. As much as she says I'm her rock, the same goes for her being mine.
I enjoyed reading this and the courage you've shown to put it out there for all of us to read. Bravo! That's a big first step or giant leap among us anxiety type people.
Again my apologies for being so long winded.
Thank You for sharing Jen.