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230 Public Reviews Given
251 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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26
26
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
My only problem with this is that every stanza has four lines, except for the fourth stanza, which only has three. I don't know if that was intentional? Or if you just didn't realized that. Other wise there are no mistakes that I saw. This was written very well. You have great diction, flow and rhythm. The title and description are perfect, and creative. Good job and keep writing.

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
27
27
Review of Key to Silence  
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
The title and description are completely perfect.
This is clearly filled with love, and emotion.
You have great structure, and detail. I can almost see this as I'm reading it.
It's written very well. There were no mistakes that I noticed.
I really enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing.
Good job and keep writing.

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]

28
28
Review of Charma  
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
The title and description are completely perfect.
The structure is good, but may I suggest breaking this up into couplets? I'm just saying, because that's how the rhyming scheme is broken up.
I love the personification. You have great diction, flow and detail.
There aren't any mistakes that I can see.
I really enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing.
Good job and keep writing.

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]

29
29
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
The fact that this is a Prologue is actually what made me read this.

"My mother, Helen Fuller[,] whispered in my ear." I feel like there should be a comma where indicated. But maybe not.
"“ A nickname for Bob Wenner, a real estate man who told us to sell the house if we couldn’t afford it anymore. He kept knocking on our doors until I suggested to work. “" Those sentences should be in parenthesis rather than quotation marks.

"Fighting the urge to cry, I took several breaths, and when I calmed myself,

“Love you, Mom. As I always will. Tell Dad that I’ll miss him very much. And I love our home. I will do anything, absolutely anything to protect us.” I feel that after "myself" you should have put the word "said" in there.

"She finally seemed to give up as many more tears formed and streamed down her eyes. " This sentence would make more sense if you said "...streamed down her face." Not eyes, since the tears are coming out of her eyes. Not going down.

"She said for the last time, and strode off by foot." I think that you don't need "by foot" in there.

You use short, choppy sentences. It's kind of hard to keep reading at times. However, this is such a great story. Good job, and keep writing.

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
30
30
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
First, you switch back and forth between first and third person. You either need to say "I" or "his," not both. As I have said with other things of yours that I have read..I believe you should add some space between your paragraphs. It would make it easier to read, and everything wouldn't be so crammed together.

"The morning sume shone brightly through his window." I believe you mean "sun?"
"Just as Iremembered the night before[,] my iPhone buzzed." There should be a space between the words "I" and "remembered." Also, there should be a comma where indicated.

"GET A LIFE! STOP TEXTING ME" should be in quotation marks, as I have done. Also, you should have a comma at the end of that, whereas you keep going with the sentence to say "appeared in big letters."

"Hey hun, sorry its so late, I got caught up with work." You should have "it's," not "its." Also, I think the second comma should be a period.
"I groaned and stumbeled out of bed." You have "stumbeled," but it should be "stumbled."

You never said that either him/her hung up the phone. You left at them talking, and then he as getting ready. I think you need to add something in like that to make it clear.

"I grabbed my iPhone and an umbrella and walked out of the door." I think that you can take the "of" out of the sentence. It would flow better. It just sounds like you're trying to add too much.

"I ran down the crowded side walk, trying not to get my nice shoes covered in the gum from the ground." It sounds like you've crammed too much into this sentence. I feel like you can take out the part about the shoes. But if you don't, just make it shorter.

"I ran down the crowded side walk, trying not to get my nice shoes covered in the gum from the ground. I looked at my watch, 12:25. I started to run." You say that you ran down the crowded sidewalk. Then you talk about the time, and say you started to run again. That makes no sense. Weren't you already running?

"She fell over, [and] her papers [went] flying like autumn leaves.She quickly scrambled to pick them up." In the first sentence, I think there should be an "and," and "went" where indicated. Also, there should be a space between the first and second sentences.

"Watch where your going[,] would ya?" There should be a comma where indicated.
"She shook her head, hair flying out of a neat bun tucked in the back of her head." Saying head twice in this sentence makes it sound funny, and it doesn't flow well. I think you either need to reword or rearrange it.

"Her skin was bright against the fire.I babbled, bumbfounded." There should be a space between the two sentences. Also, I think you mean dumbfounded?

Well this is all I found wrong. I hope I helped. The concept of the story is good. The title makes no sense to me, at all. Explain this, please? Also, the description doesn't make any sense either. First, is Brian the guy you're talking about? And who is Lizzy? All we've read about is an Emma. Unless Lizzy is the women that he's just bumped in to? I think this piece needs some work. Email me when you've fixed everything. I'd love to read it again. Keep writing!

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
31
31
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Well my first comment is; this is so cute.
"...pick up the pieces when your world falls apart[,] I’ll be there." I feel there should be a comma where indicated. This is written well. This is very encouraging, and I feel it would make any girl smile. It short and sweet, and you have worded it well. Good job and keep writing.

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
32
32
Review of Tranced  
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Well the first comment I have to make is.. The second sentence in your description doesn't make sense to me. Also, I feel as if there should be more commas and periods thrown in here in some spots. But, we all have our own style. However, the title is perfect for this poem. This relates to many people of all ages. It's written well. You have great structure, flow and diction. I feel that repeating "Every time you..." in the first three lines helps to get the point across. I enjoyed this poem. Thanks for sharing. Good job and keep writing.

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
33
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Review of In My Dreams  
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is such a nice and simple poem.
I think adding in periods and commas would help it a little.
However, you have great structure.
You use simple word choice, however, it suits the poem.
The title is clearly perfect, and the description is great.
This was written very well. Good job and keep writing.

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
34
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Review of Kite Tails  
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
"While all my friends in high school were playing sports or participating in other school activities[,] I was building and flying kites." I feel like there should be a comma where indicated.
Again, I feel like there should be a comma where indicated: "But, unless I can come up with an exotic tail that compliments it[,] my dream will fizzle."

Aside from what I pointed out above, this story was written very well. The ending was completely perfect. It really made me laugh. Before I even read the description, I read this. So at first, I felt bad. And with that said, I guess you can say the title is great, because that is what drew me in to read this. You have great diction and detail. I really enjoyed reading this. You kept and short and sweet, and had my attention and interest the whole time. Good job and keep writing.

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
35
35
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.0)
This review is being done at your request, since I never got back to your email.

First, you structure is a little off. I think it would be easier for the reader if everything weren't so crammed together. Maybe you could put a little but more space between each paragraph, like I'm doing in this review? I think it would be easier to concentrate on the story, rather than making sure you're on the right line.

I believe the word "shone," should be "shined."
"At the end of the 20 minuet process..." Minor error. You just spelt "minute" wrong.
"Now[,] what was it that you needed to tell me?" There should be a comma where indicated.
"You[']re probably just too far..." There should be an apostrophe where indicated.

I feel like this sentence should be broken down a little:
"The smile vanished a little, the true smile anyways, a fake smile replaced it, just as bright and cheery, but I could tell the difference." It seems like you have packet too much into it. Maybe you can break it down into two seperate sentences to make it flow a little better. Again, the same with this sentence: "The large chair seemed to swallow his small frame whole, it was I could do to keep myself from grabbing my little brother and slaying the beast that threatened him." I almost feel that the comma could just be a period. I've noticed you do this a lot. You really need to watch out for run on sentences, because you don't want to lose the interest of the reader.

"I guess you get some cool glasses Colbs[.]” There should be a comma where indicated.
" I went thought the day without even thinking about .." I think when you say "thought," you mean "through?"
"Your mom went to the doctors with Colby[,]” she said awkwardly." There should be a comma where indicated.
"No No, It’s probably just a check-up,” she smiled at me." The second "No" doesn't need to be captalized, and neither does "It's."
"... ran to great my mother but her face was even..." You should have "greet" not "great."

"Her eyes were as glossy, like a newly waxed floor." In this sentence, you try to use too parts of a similie that don't go together. You either need to remove the "as" or change the "like" to an "as."
"She just nodded slightly and went silent." This sentence makes no sense to me, whereas, her mother wasn't even talking. How can she "go silent" if all she did was nod?
"“So let me get this straight[.]” I said..." There should be a period where indicated.
"The disease makes his vision slowly decline until there is nothing left but some of his peripheral vision [left]. You can take out the "left" in brackets, otherwise, it sounds funny.

In the third paragraph to last, you change to short choppy sentences to run on sentences. You have a hard time keeping them consistent.

Anyway, your title is perfect. This is filled with emotion. You have some pretty good similies and metaphors. This is such a sad, yet inspiring story. Good job capturing it.

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
36
36
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is written very well. It's sad, but motivating as well. This happens to a lot of girls, and most of them don't speak up. There weren't any mistakes of any kind that I saw. The title is completely perfect. The description is what drew me in to read this. Thanks for sharing. Good job and keep writing.

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
37
37
Review of Beautiful Life  
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is written very well. The title is clearly perfect for the poem. However, I feel like you could have said more. This is such a deep thing to write about, and I just feel like you could have said so much more about it. Why is it so beautiful? Anyway, you did a great job writing this. Thanks for sharing. Good job and keep writing.

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
38
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Review of Wonder  
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
The title is clearly perfect for the poem.
I loved that it's short and sweet.
I'm left wondering after reading this..
You have great diction and flow.
There aren't any mistakes that I see.
I enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing.
Good job and keep writing.

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
39
39
Review of Rhinestone  
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
There is clearly a lot of emotion here. Hatred?
I love that this is short and easy to read.
There are no mistakes that I see.
You have great flow and diction.
You speak so much truth.
I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing.
Good job and keep writing.

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
40
40
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
In the seventh paragraph, you say, "Hell I forgot all about that piece." I believe there should be a comma after "Hell."
"“The Sisterhood of Pink Pajamas?” I asked[.]" You should have a period at the end of the sentence, as indicated.
" I am not asking you to share if you don’t want[,] to I am just asking that you hear the program details." There should be a comma where indicated.
"As you have all found out tonight[,] we are the best possible board for this endeavor." Again, another comma where indicated.
" Who knew a room full of plus size women could pull off belly dance moves that easily." You ask a question, but instead there is a period. That should be a question mark.
"...my shirt was covered in baby spit up[,] and I was so tired I probably looked like a zombie.” There should be a comma where indicated.
"Even if I had to go out to the store late at night[,] I took a shower and redid my make-up." Again, another comma.
"...two am on a Sunday Morning." The word "morning" doesn't need to be capitalized.

Sorry that I picked your story apart. I only gave you a poor rating because of everything I spotted. However, this is very inspiring. You have great structure. I love that even though there was only one person talking for a great amount of time, you broke it up into different paragraphs. That makes it easier for the reader to stay interested. I really enjoyed reading this story. Thank you for sharing. Good job and keep writing.

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
41
41
Review of End.  
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (1.5)
First off, it's "whined," not "whinned."
You have quotation marks when she's saying "don't say it!" It should be an apostrophe.
There should be a period at the end of "I held back a giggle."
"Well, if your wanna be like that..." This sentence makes no sense.
"She rather spend her last day of summer partying." It sounds like a little kid wrote that. It should be, "She'd rather spend the last day of the summer partying."
At the end, you just put 1 and 2 followed by what? Are those supposed to be reasons as to why Em would forgive Brett? If so, you need to state that in some way, because it's unclear. Also, there should be a period aftter, "1. She's my best friend."
And, you say, "2. She'll be to busy getting over the fact that summer came to an end." The first "to" should actually be "too."

Well keep writing.

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
42
42
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
"The psychiatrist was typing like mad in his black computer." I feel like it should say he was typing "on" his black computer, not "in." I think it would flow better.
I love that the ending is so very unexpected. This was short, and very easy to read. I wanted to keep reading right at the start, and didn't want to stop when I got to the end. You have great diction and flow.
I really enjoyed reading this. Good job and keep writing.

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
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43
Review of You Are  
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is the second poem I've read of yours. You consistently don't use periods or commas. So I'm wondering if that's supposed to add to the structure or somthing?

You have great diction, structure and flow.
I'm just confused as to why the first four stanzas have four lines, and the last three stanzas have three?
Anyway, it's written well and I enjoyed reading this.
My favorite part was:
"You are the gold in my heart's closet
Hidden, so I alone may see it."
Good job and keep writing.

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
44
44
Review of The Daisy  
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is such a cute poem.
So many people can relate to this, as I'm sure many people have done it.
I know I did millions of times when I was younger.
Anyway, you have great structure and flow.
You keep your language simple, but it works well with the poem.
However, after the first and third line of the first stanza, there should be commas.
I feel like there should be a period after the last sentence of the first stanza, as well as the last sentence of the second stanza.
The comma at the end of the second to last line should really be before the quotation marks, not after.
Sorry for picking this apart, but I hope I helped!
This really is a terrific poem. Thanks a lot for sharing.
Good job and keep writing.

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
45
45
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
The pictures are great. They really add to the story.
There were no spelling or grammatical errors that I saw.
The title and description are both perfect and creative.
You have great diction, flow and detail.
Overall, I really enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing.
Good job and keep writing.

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
46
46
Review of The Gap  
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
"... blood covered on the soles of his feet after the..." I believe you can take out "on" after "covered."
"The waiter served its first main course meal to its customer." It should be "The waiter served his/herfirst main course meal to their customer."
"The delicate 300g rib eye steak cooked medium rare." This isn't even a sentence. What about it?
"Instead, a low threatening grow did the job..." I'm going to assume that "grow" is supposed to be "growl?"
"The filly scent was like a delicacy to the fleas not the meat." A filly is a young female horse under age four. So is the word "filly" supposed to be "filthy?" Or something else?
"As each breath he puffed out, steam leaked gently towards the cool starless night." I believe this sentence would flow better as:
"With each breath out, steam leaked gently towards the cool starless night."
I think you lack a lot of commas where they should be.
However, you play great attention to detail.
You also have great diction.
Keep writing.

Meg

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47
47
Review of Trust Me  
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Well the first thing I have to say is..what an asshole!
The title and the description are completely perfect for this. However, looks can be decieving.
You developed the characters well. You also have great use of dialog, and diction.
I loved the plot of this. I loved the scenereo.
I didn't see any grammatical or spelling errors.
Good job and keep writing.

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
48
48
Review of Heed the Slighted  
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
The title and description are both perfect and creative.
You have written this very well. There were no errors that I saw.
You have great flow, structure, diction and dialog.
You have developed the charactre very well.
I enjoyed reading this very much. Thanks for sharing.
Good job, and keep writing.

Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
49
49
Review of Screaming Kettles  
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
"Not sure how much we’ll actually watch it." This doesn't make sense really. It should say, "Not sure how much we'll actually watch." Or "Not sure how much we'll actually watch of it." Either lose the "it" or add "of" in.

"...that suit him just fine." I believe you meant to say, "suited."

Aside from the things I pointed out, it was written well.
You have great diction, dialog, and structure.
Good job, and keep writing.

-Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
50
50
Review of Sunset  
Review by Meg
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I feel like there should be a comma where indicated:
"As we walked home I brushed my hand against hers(,) too afraid to hold it."
Also, I changed "hand" to "it." Since you've already mentioned her hand, it just sounds kind of funny saying it again.

" Change is the worst enemy of happiness and time is the greatest cure for pain."
That was my favorite line. It's so true, and says so much.

Aside from what I pointed out, this is written very well.
The title is both perfect and creative.
Your emotion is very strong. It's sad, and full of love.
Your imagery is pretty good as well.
I really enjoyed reading this.
Good job, and thanks for sharing.
Keep writing.

-Meg

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  [E]
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