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Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Immortality  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I think I would not be alive today if I couldn't laugh. Certainly, some of my laughter has been gallows humor, but it kept the endorphins rolling along. Thanks for your posting Winnie.


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2
2
Review of soothing water  
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Both wonderful. A lovely Christmas Eve dream.
Darkness settles upon the land
Christmas snow in a misty form travels like like wise men who teach us to flow and follow our mysteries.


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3
3
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Dear schnujo,

I really had fun with your short story. .you already know I love humorous stories. I'd love to see you expand the whole idea. For example; He didn't know where he'd gotten the idea about College. Certainly not from his parents. Old Aunt Bessie just shook her head, looked up to the sky and said "Roasting!" Whenever he asked about his Dad.

You sparked a whole series of ideas and while I realize this was a prompt, well why not expand it into satire (paying student loans) tragedy ( he gets his come to Jesus from the farmer's wife just as he's trying to open his papers) well you see how wacky I am.

I like your style and hope to see more of your work. Good cluck with your writing!

callie


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4
4
Rated: E | (4.0)
troy ulysses davis ,

There is such poetic force in this poem. A mild suggestion would be to add one more single syllable word in your first line. It would then present as a fine senryu. I'm just learning about the different forms of Jaiku. Senryu uses the same syllabic formation 5-7-5, but this form frees the poet to be able to discuss emotional or humanistic ideas. Please forgive me if I'm sounding Professorial. I find your work to be inspirational indeed.

While I enjoy this question, I wonder dear poet if you have more to ask about this creative force. It would be a great read perhaps if you did almost a call and response, kind of taking that Selah moment and see what the great creative spirit has to say with that question.

You have a fine gift. I sure am happy I found your portfolio. Keep on writing, please.

Sincerely,

Callie hears Angels these days


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5
5
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Dear AbigailStevie

I've just finished reading your entry
 Personal statement #2  (E)
This's going to be my college statement.Plz give yr most honest and brutal thoughts! Thx!
#2075227 by AbigailStevie
. I really enjoyed a lot of what you had to say. Here's why: you chose a topic that is near and dear to many people.

Organization of your thoughts I think your thoughts were quite well organized, except you spent a little too much time talking about your topic and not enough time talking about you. I'd love to have you share how you practiced speaking. Did you stand in one room with your partner in another so that you could get your volume right? What word did you have trouble pronouncing? Did you have a discussion with your teacher after you had success? Let's see some dialogue. This is a fabulous chance for you to use your unique voice.

Clarity so with your unique voice, show don't tell me how this has helped you to understand your skills of empathy and how it's going to make you a stronger medical professional. A personal statement is meant to engage your reader and while you are well on the the way, I failed to hear your

Passion for your subject. So, think about that speaking assignment, share your vulnerability and think about connecting your fear (public speaking) to your passion. How did it ignite your leadership skills?

Inspiration What makes you strong enough for the medical world? What type of professional do you want to be? If you were required to talk about your passion for this field, how would you tell your story?

In conclusion, I really hope you'll share your rewritten presentation with me. I know it will be a convincing and passionate story.

Sincerely,

Callie hears Angels these days


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6
6
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Dear Mari McKee

Thank you for posting
What Cats Do At Night  (E)
A children'spoem about cats at night
#2076173 by Mari McKee
I love reading stories and poems that tell me the writer is deeply and emotionally involved with the craft of creating a personally satisfying piece. You have expressed your thoughts so clearly.

I really enjoyed the energy and humor that went into this piece. The visuals of the cat actions were quite lovely. I wished for about the millionth time in my life that I had artistic ability because I could visualize the illustrations for your poem/short story so well.

Your use of exclamations was fun and involving. I do suggest you carry that on throughout your poem.
There was a lovely rhythm in the first four stanzas of your poem. Like me, I think you get caught up in the excitement of what you have visualized. I hope I can convince you to keep up the metric pattern you had established in the earlier part of your poem so that your reader can join you in the journey of discovery without stumbling over too many words.

I am so happy that you've joined our writing community. I love the fact that you are an observant and humorous person.

Sincerely,
Callie hears Angels these days

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7
7
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Dear Joto-Kai ,

I just finished reading "Auntie Rosie's Magical Flower Stand. I am so happy that I did. I am hope hope hoping that you can be convinced to lengthen this story into a novel. I really want to know more about the leading man, I want to meet Sarah and would love to know more about Aunt Rosie. Truly, I can see this as a wonderful balladic travel story.

Plot I was so happy with the way you handled the plot. Sarah was always present in the story, but you allowed Aunt Rosie the chance to take on the forward motion needed to bring our guy to his true love.

Composition/clarity I have a small complaint that relates to the two opening lines of your story. " I grabbed a tissue to dry my hands as I drove down a deserted country road, so old the lines had been rubbed away. I feel there are too many thoughts contained in these rather convoluted two sentences. My suggestion would be "I grabbed a tissue to dry my sweating hands, again. Driving down the country road, I realized it was so old, all the dividing lines had faded away." There is more action and involvement by explaining the action involving the need for dry hands, rather than the grabbing for something that isn't that important to the story. The tissue isn't important, but the nervously sweating hands are.

Conclusions and suggestions{/b} Well, I've been concluding and suggesting to you thoughout this review, but I will reiterate the following. This is a wonderful story that I personally would love to see turned into at least a novelette, if not a full-length novel. You've begun something beautiful. Don't just leave your people there. Please. I love this world. My suggestion is if you're happy with this story, start submitting it. There is a real hunger in the reading world to have a mystical flower lady, a hero hoping to win his true love's heart, and a young woman yearning to be cherished as much as her beaten down soul will allow her to dream.

Sincerely,
Callie hears Angels these days
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8
8
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Dear Joy

I've just finished reading your entry
BOOK
Everyday Canvas   (18+)
Second blog -- answers to an ocean of prompts
#2003843 by Joy
. I really enjoyed a lot of what you had to say about Jack Kerouac. Here's why:



Clarity and Organization of your thoughts you were very organized with the quotes you chose to examine. I enjoyed the process of reading his thoughts, thinking about my own analysis of those thoughts and then reading what you had to say. I feel you allowed your reader to have a grace period in order to access an aha! moment. Because you were so clear in your organization, your thinking was easy to follow.

Passion for your subject Understanding imagery is one thing. Your ability to get into the meat of an idea and explain with clarity, your understanding of his metaphors can really help a person who may not have much depth in relating to a poets voice,but who has the desire to learn and apply this knowledge is a fine gift indeed.
Kudos to you to help others climb the mountains of metaphor. My favorite quote was "*Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind: you went on to explain
He might mean writing from desire and at full speed without any regard to rules or any obstacles, in other words, pushing the limits all the way to find out where the real limits lie. Crazy to him may be being enthusiastic, wondering and wandering, plus bewildered. As saints are usually mystics, they may seem dumb from the outside, as does a first draft written only with inspiration and no pre-planning.

I was struck by the dumbsaint expression. Aging hippie that I am, I immediately thought of the Fool from tarot cards. He has no power of his own, but he increases everyone elses power by ten. Your comment about inspiration and no pre-planning exemplifies this thinking.



In conclusion, I am more than satisfied with my journey with you and Jack. I hope to apply some of both of your words and thoughts into my writing process.

Sincerely,

Callie hears Angels these days
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9
9
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Dear Scifiwizard

It was a real pleasure to read your piece .
I think you've come up with a very original contest and I am looking forward to participating in it.


I'm sure there is a logical answer or premise that I've missed, but I am curious about the reason that chaos magic only belongs to the male species? Since you've created a female protagonist who isn't very bold, I am assuming there is room for her to be a genetic sport with this kind of magic?

I really enjoy your writing style and hope you'll have as much fun and creative pleasure as I do on this site. The Newbies Academy is a good group. I learn something new every day from them.

Sincerely,

(user:Callie137}





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10
10
Review of Giving Up  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Dear pinkrice ,

I enjoyed reading your strong poem "Giving Up.

Imagery You used some beautifully crafted images. I was really struck by the phrase "you gave away your face
Eventually without being asked. That is a powerful analysis of what happens to a person who has been taught to be a victim. Finally, it just becomes easier to diminish expectations of being treated as a person with dignity.


Meter. Since this a confessional style Poem, I didn't expect to find a rhythm. I do have some thoughts regarding your poems design.



Involvement I feel that you are facing a wonderful challenge with this poetical journey. When I read poems that talk about you, I wonder if the subject is being scolded rather than loved. "You" to my mind creates a sense of dispassion rather than involvement. In the emotional journey you the writer and I the reader are engaged. My suggestion is to say either he, she or I.

I'm reminded of the line from a song that says ( paraphrasing) Your lyrics are so good when the words don't get in the way. I feel the best thing any poet an do after the joy of creation has been completed, is to look hard at each word, asking yourself, does this strengthen my story? I d say get rid of ands. If your thoughts are convoluted, consider short sentences.

You have a real gift with your sense of imagery. I would love to re review this work if you 'd be interested in a dialogue. Congratulations on writing so sensitively on such a tender subject .
Sincerely,

Callie hears Angels these days

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11
11
Review of Gaia  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Dear Geoff ,

I just finished reading "Gaia and am looking forward to sharing my thoughts about your work with you. Geoff, this is such a beautiful visual piece. I really love when all the senses are invoked in a piece. Thank you for asking my opinion. I am just now regaining some strength and energy. The idea of having to do this surgery again on my right leg is fearsome! } Every time I read someone else's work, I wish I could pick up the phone and chat with them. Since this is a rather one-sided conversation, I hope you will let me know what you think about my thinking. Hmmm. We have a good connection already.

Plot You've indicated that this is part of a larger story. While I can imagine many ways this could become a full novel, I am going to stick with what I know and offer suggestions for how this could possibly be presented as a stand alone short story. You've given me a poetic middle and a mostly satisfying conclusion, but I admit I want to know how he came to be here. Was he a Demi God or father earth always? Did he know it. Or was he awakened to his god hood when the Gaia blessed him? You had a particularly engrossing visual in paragraph

Character this is the only area where I see a need for expansion. Who is this man? What are his strengths and more importantly, what weakness does he have that are overcome by his love for the Gaia? I realize that his sense of wonder is the important part of the piece , but would enjoy a Holy Cow ! She chose me? Moment.

*Skunk* Composition/clarity{}: ugh! Some critic I am. Ii'd just love to know more about how our hero became mr Gaia.

*Starr* Conclusions and suggestions{} I am really looking forward to reading the larger piece. I hope you already know that I really enjoy your work. You express your thoughts with great clarity and can evoke great emotional responses with your artistic understanding of our craft.

My apologies for the delay in responding to you. I've managed to hurt my wrist. Typing is a literal pain. I appreciate your patience and do not expect payment for this review because of your long wait.

Sincerely,
Callie hears Angels these days
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12
12
Review of The Thing Outside  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Dear Fhionnuisce ,

I just finished reading "The Thing Outside and am looking forward to sharing some thoughts about your work with you. *happy* Every time I read someone else's work, I wish I could pick up the phone and chat with them. Since this is a rather one-sided conversation, I hope you will let me know what you think about my thinking. I like interacting with other writers!

PlotThis was a nicely crafted comedic thriller. I liked the way you build a sense of camaraderie between the two cousins. One with fine athletic prowess, the other with perhaps more courage and daring. Having an older, more sardonic third party added to the tension of what was out there.

CharacterY'm a very visual reader, so my thought for more active participation with your reader would be to provide description as to what everyone looked like. Hair color, skin color, how were they dressed? Did they get hot and have to take off jackets? Was it a cold Halloween? You get my drift, I am certain.

*Skunk* Composition/clarity{}: I don't care much for the overuse of adverbs, but in this casewithin the story, I got distracted by your non use of an adverb. Examples: I would have, had I not fallen for Dave’s clever laid trap. I'd suggest, Dave's cleverly laid trap.

*Starr* Conclusions and suggestions{}I liked this story very much and would be more than interested to see a rewrite if you should care to do it. Thank you for sharing your work. I look forward to reading more of it soon.

Sincerely,
Callie hears Angels these days



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13
13
Review of The Butler Did It  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Dear Geoff

Thank you for posting
 
STATIC
The Butler Did It  (E)
A marriage of Ayn Rand and Karl Marx
#2040589 by Geoff
I love reading stories and poems that tell me the writer is deeply and emotionally involved with the craft of creating a personally satisfying piece. I think one of the best phrases a writer can hear is "More Please." I think you have a winner in your beginning sketch of the Butler did it.


You have indicated that both men, Dennison and VanGogh are more than comfortably wealthy. I have read more than once that a great man's earnings are generaly lost by the third generation. That being said, I felt the greasy indifference Dennison expressed toward the majority of the world,fit his character creating a deep curiosity as to how VanGogh is going to make him look into a very disturbing mirror of his soul.

I know you are going to expand this story, but I'd like to let you know about my minor suggestions for a greater view of this world. I know Deny is overweight, but what does his face look like? Are his movements self indulgent? If I came into someone's home sweating after a tennis match, I'd be very careful not to sit on something that might get stained by me. I doubt he would think of that or care. He'd probably say, VanGogh can afford a replacement. Or, furniture is meant to be used. Where's my damn lemonade.

And what does VanGogh look like? Is he a consciously evil person or does he want to change the world in a good way. (I'm rather hoping he is more a Eugene Debs who wanted the world to rise with him.) Does this room look out into a garden? Is is bright? More details please.

There is so much power in this little piece. I really hope you'll expand it into a novelette at least. I really enjoyed Art's sense of sardonic humor and think you have a world class hero or villain here. I hope your next segment will include some dialog and information about the Butler. Why does VG want to hear his opinion? Is he Robin to his Batman? Actually I'm envisioning him being a Ranger type of Alred, going on adventures with his boss to save the world one country at a time.

Geoff, I am interested to hear what your plans are. This is a fine gem of an idea. Not to mix too many metaphors, but with your talent and creativity, I am certain this could be a gold mine for you.

Sincerely,

Callie hears Angels these days

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14
14
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear petros ,

I just read your fine poem,
 
STATIC
Tracks In The Snow  (E)
A Poem of the cold
#2037334 by Geoff

It was WONDERFUL!!
Here are some of the reasons I enjoyed your art work so deeply.



Imagery My Parents owned a Christmas tree farm on 12 of the loveliest acres I've ever had the pleasure to know. One of my favorite joys was to see who had been visiting and try to understand what the tracks told me. Your journey tells the story of very temporary signs but shows the struggles of life and death in a clear and beautifully visual way. The sensibilities of a fine story teller really captured my imagination as I mourned the death of the vole, understood the never ending hunger of the weasel,reflected upon the phlegmatic porcupine and danced with the the hilarious hare.


MeterAs a free verse, "they" say meter doesn't count. Well, I respectfully disagree. Meter/ rhythm is what keeps your reader actively engaged. Your sensibilities engaged a walking pace for me. You did a fine job.


Involvement I was completely immersed in your poem until the last seven lines.
Yawn.
About to dream.
Must hurry.
To read the moose's long cuneiform.
Long strides.
I and the calf hurry.
The blizzard turns the page
.

I got lost when you Yawned and then spoke of dreaming. If the cold was making you sleepy, I would deepen the connection between the physicality of walking in the snow and the fatigue it creates. There was no showing or precursors to indicate that this was physically taxing. Secondly, I assume that you were talking about the mother moose's calf. I feel you could strengthen visual simply by saying perhaps:
Her calf and I hurry
before the blizzard turns this page.


I'm certain you'll come up with something much stronger, everything is of course, only a suggestion. My last commentary is that I hope you'll consider sending this to Yankee or Maine magazine. Another place would be the Portland review. Here is their link:
Submission Guidelines:
portlandreview.submittable.com

Thank you for the pleasure I had in reading your very fine poem.

Sincerely,

Callie hears Angels these days

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15
15
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I need a pair of these sneakers! Green is my favorite color and this is just what I hope I'll be able to do again when both my knees are fixed! I love these happy shoes and frankly, I wish I had animated cards because I would use them in a flash. If an animation is meant to make you smile and think of better days, you have come up with a winner!
16
16
Review of In a Crowded Room  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear *Jenny* ,

"In a Crowded Room Gave me great joy. You perfectly described a moment every human must go through as a right of passage at some point in their lives. Your wit and timing were terrific.

Pacing Your pacing was lively and bright. I loved it.

story arcTruly I thought I was in store for a sweet romance. I was up for that and you fulfilled my expectations so beautifully.

meterand/or placement of words in a free verse Some way he had to find out more, could (to my sense of meter) be better served by having Some way deleted. Also I'd might change He had to find out just
Of the feelings she had implored
to He had to see/could their feelings be explored.

imagery I feel that your imagery was spot on. I could see the event unfolding. Great job.

emotional investment I smiled because you got me. You really did. What was best is that you left me hanging just like that poor guy. Bold and fine move.

Poetry is the tool that captures our lives.

Thank you for allowing me to comment on your work. Your thoughts and actions matter. I am looking forward to reading more of your insights into our crazy world.

Sincerely,

Callie hears Angels these days

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17
17
Review of Day Dreams  
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)


Dear turtlemoon-dohi

Day Dreams is my new favorite poem! I love how you created such warm synesthetic images. It makes me wonder if many poet's have this tendency.

Pacing Your pace and development of the poetical day dream cast a lovely spell on me. I needed to stop and think about your imagery at the end of every paragraph. You encouraged me to indulge in the daydream of your visions.



imagery
I sing every day what blooms.
Breathing in sky music,
I forever sow and reap the tunes

Now that's just beautiful. It is my favorite verse. Though I was really "grabbed" by your opening line. I think Walt Whitman must be gnashing his teeth that he didn't create the vision of writing thunder.

emotional investment You have managed to let your reader truly see the world through your generous visions. This poem to me offers a chance for an emotional and physical reset. Your pacing was so leisurely and effortlessly thoughtful, that I just had to rest my busy little mind and breathe in your thoughts. I hope you will think of submitting this. The general populace would benefit from this. I suggest Redbook, so that might reach a large audience.

Poetry is the tool that captures our lives.

Thank you for allowing me to comment on your work. Your thoughts and actions matter.

Sincerely,

Callie hears Angels these days


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18
18
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Well. Faith and Begorra, my dear ♥HOOves♥ *Shamrock* *Shamrock*



setting The streets of Dingle is a joyous visit to the Fair Isle. With your wonderful imagery, I was transported by scent, by the glorious baritone of Noel McLoughlin,wandering in my mind with a lively step, with Maire's wedding echoing as I moved through your beautiful tour. I am glad I've got corned beef bubbling along in the kitchen, but am thinking I need to whomp up some toffee pudding as well.


As a matter of fact, I had to sing your words to that sweet song. The beat and measure worked very well. If you are a singer, I think you'd have a grand time hearing your words within this lovely tune.

This needs to be published. I have just become acquainted with http://www.writing.ie/resources/irish-publishers/.... I sure hope you'll find a publisher that fits well within your needs.




Sincerely,




Callie hears Angels these days


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19
19
Review of On Being Blue  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Fyn - ,

I just finished reading "On Being Blue and am looking forward to sharing some thoughts about your work with you. *happy* Every time I read someone else's work, I wish I could pick up the phone and chat with them. Since this is a rather one-sided conversation,*Smile* I hope you will let me know what you think about my thinking.


Thematic Strength I think it is a very difficult task to write humorously with motivational goals setting a clear and kind message to your reader without sounding forced or demeaning. Congratulations on achieving this! You outlined the problem by personalizing your viewpoint of being a blue before you became one and the perceptions that were unrealistic by the rising colors "below" you.

Rhythmic power There were a few slips and slides in your meter. However, the poem was strong and fun to read. The only way I can get a true sense of my rhythm is to read the (I think) completed poem out loud. At that point, I realize, it is not complete and I head back to the editing room. Again. Sometimes I feel like Wiley Coyote with the Acme Anvil around my neck.

*Skunk* Composition/clarity/spelling: My first writing class in college was returned to me with the following comments: handling of subject A+ 3 Spelling errors D. Ugh. I so hated that grade and feel as though I've been slapped with a ruler, that I tend to tiptoe around others spelling misses. However, Pedestal is incorrect and I believe you meant you work your butt off. *Smile* But, I may be mistaken.

*Starr* Conclusions and suggestions My conclusion is that you are a really fine mentor and example for me and other members of this community. The fact that you would take the time and make the effort to encourage newer members of this group to reach out and grow is another example of why you have reached the level I can only dream of attaining someday. Thank you for your encouragement and welcoming presence.

Sincerely,


Callie hears Angels these days

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20
20
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This blog speaks from the heart. Sparky has a wonderful way of connecting the physical and metaphysical dots. Our world's environment matters deeply and this writer knows how to make the obscure and overwhelming, on point and personal. I learn more everytime I read a Sparky blog. The view from down under is clear and bright.


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21
21
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Dear Sophie,
I enjoyed reading and participating in your poll. I don't know if I'm "that good" but I've found my muse is cranky and must be obeyed immediately. Otherwise I must spend days cajoling her. Your spot is very inviting. Warm and welcoming to the inquiring mind. I have a special needs daughter. So, my dear, I'm already in awe of you. There is a special type of patience and humor required for those who are called to teach in this arena. Thank you for making a profound difference in many lives.
Sincerely,
Callie
22
22
Review of Annie  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (1.0)
Hi {suser:carleton607@writing.com},

My name is Callie hears Angels these days . I am very pleased to have the opportunity to review your short story "Annie. Before I begin, I will caution you that I am a newbie. If I say something wrong, please know that I mean no harm. And, I would love your feedback if possible.
*Smile* I can see you have a lot of enthusiasm for writing! I do too. I think it will hold you in good stead since we walk down harsh roads every day as we try to hone our craft.


*Star* Characters you know, I got a little confused with what your character was doing in this story. For example,first you have Annie screaming and then you have her laughing. Buster the dog barks, but we never know what kind of barking Buster is doing.Is it an angry bark, or a bark or recognition? Please tell us more.

*Star* Pacing While your story does have a lot of action, I wonder if you have ever considered using a story map? Sometimes, I can see the action of my characters in my minds eye so clearly, I lose track of the fact that my readers need to have all of their five senses engaged for the magic that a fabulous story can impart. IYou have some fine gems in here, but if you are going to have this kind of eventful story, you will do well to commit using your sense of what you are seeing, feeling, touching etc. to get your particular vision across to your reader.

*Star* Motivation Sadly, I feel a little like Annie's beloved Buster. I don't quite know what is going on here. You have mentioned an event that changed everything, but you never tell us what it was. I am convinced that if you spend a little more time on this aspect of your story, it will be stronger and have the right kind of hurry to it. I urge you to relax and enjoy your process as much as possible. This is your passion, right? A good meal takes time to prepare, your good stories will come With the love and tenderness your imagination deserves.
*Star*Conclusions

*Skunk* Things that need a little more editing*Pencil* Spell check can be a friend, but this tool can also make us cavalier about what we are saying exactly. For example, in one of your paragraphs you write: "With those thoughts in her mind she drifted off into a pieceful slumber." As you and I know sometimes we must piece together information to arrive at a peaceful place. I am certain with some further editing and additional information, you will have a stronger story. I will be more than glad to reread your efforts if you like. It helps sometime to have an involved friend.

Thank you for sharing your story. I am looking forward to watching your growth on this wonderful site.

Sincerely, (suser:Callie137}


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23
23
Review of The Weather King  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A perfect rating ! Well, understanding the guidance means I feel this is ready for submission. Frankly, my friend I sincerely believe this and suggest you consider the Farmer's Almanac. Your wry approach to poor ol' Phil really brightened my day. Your rhyme scheme flowed wonderfully well and release the imaginative forces that are delighted to have new things to think about. so, being a fan of the wizard of Oz, I won't say. "surrender" but I am shouting from the skies ".SUBMIT{\i} {\b}.
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Love your poll. Great options. Good job*CountryUS*
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Review of Forgiveness  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Jennifer Lewis ,

My name is Callie hears Angels these days . I am very pleased to have the opportunity to review your story "Forgiveness. Before I begin, please understand If I say something wrong, I mean no harm. If I upset you, let me know, because I want my responses to help both of us become better in our art. To be a good writer, I feel it's important to be an active reader. I would love your feedback iabout this review if possible .

*Smile* There are several things I really liked about your piece. You have taken a horrifying moment and written it with great simplicity and sensitivity. You began with an immediate, adrenaline producing moment and you carried the story of your ordeal in a compelling and richly emotional manner. I am most impressed that while your story was hugely emotional, you kept your writer's hat on. The scene in which you share the Doctor's ignorant manner really shines though in your deft handling how you and the nurse crushed him without a word being said. Realizing that while it may have been emotionally necessary to write your piece in the third person, I urge you to consider writing it in the gut grabbing emotional first person. This is such a great tool for other women to learn how to be as smart about their bodies and emotions as you were. Own it and you will rule this piece, I feel.


*Star*Conclusions I so admire that a strong woman ended this piece on a positive note. That being said, my counter intuitive thought is that all great fictional heroes have a flaw. It would be edifying for me ( as your reader ) to understand the phases you had to go through to get to your understanding that rage doesn't live in your emotional house. Redemption pulls at heartstrings and if we readers are to grow, we need to understand the weeding you had to do as your soul work.

*Skunk* Things that need a little more editing*Pencil* you write beautifully well. If you decide to do any further editing on your piece, I'd be very happy to chat with you about it again. I look forward to reading lots of your work. You have a bright shiny talent and I'm so glad you're here!


Sincerely yours,


Callie hears Angels these days


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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