I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: What a wonderful story and what a terrific gift to give to your daughter. Thank you for sharing.
Strength: Written like good old stories used to be, great imaging, and description.
Questions: Just a couple edits and typos:
“She might not look like you do but inside she will be exactly the same for our souls do travel through time, and one day we will meet aiain”. Should be again
Jessica herself married and had c hildren extra space
“I will walk home with you” said the woman to the girl. The child smiled and walked along happily beside her. They talked as the went and the old woman asked her name. “Jessica” she said. “What a lovely name” the woman said. She brought her to her house and as Jessica started to walk away, she put money into her hand. Just something I puzzled over, if the old woman watched from her window and went out to walk Jessica home, how did she bring Jessica to her house?
Review: Very well written and I hope you don't mind my pointing these things out. I enjoyed reading this and hope this is one day shared with many other children. Good job, keep on writing
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: Great format, professional and clear.
Strength: You have a nice structure and cover just about everything. This should work well for reviewing.
Questions: I didn't see anyplace for commenting on errors and areas of weakness; a place to offer opinion and assistance. I also kind of wondered about the second category, "Style of Writing", wouldn't the author pretty know? Just a couple of thoughts I wanted to share, and of course, just opinions. You likely already have the answers and this format will work great. If your interested, you could even try it out on something I've written.
Review: A great job at setting up your review tool. Great job!
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: Wonderfully descriptive and terrific flow. Nicely structured.
Strength: You describe very vivid images of this wintry scene.
Questions: Doesn't, "mom would linger away", seem a bit at ends since linger means to hang around and not go anywhere? The last sentence seems to be missing a subject. They know "what" will blossom again? Spring, the leaves on the branches, their summer colors? Just a couple of thoughts I have.
Review: Very well written and very descriptive. The picture you paint seems almost like here, looking out our window at the birds coming in to feed. A great job of portraying with words, well done! Keep on writing.
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: Nicely done!
Strength: Descriptive, well written, great parallel.
Questions: Standing at a crossroad that's really a straight line seems a bit contradicting, especially if you take in the fact that you sped down it in and old jeep?
Review: This has a nice flow to it, it's colorful and descriptive. I have experienced both, endless miles of cornfields, unchanging, as well as pondering which way is forward. Well done, keep on writing!
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: Interesting, descriptive, and colorful.
Strength: Great use of colorful language, very descriptive and fresh.
Questions: A couple of the lines seem a bit long, interrupting the flow.
Review: A very well described image of who you see yourself as and how you want to be seen. Good job, keep on writing.
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: Builds suspense, creates a setting, and arouses wonder
Strength: Well structured, great imagery, and wonderful lead in.
Questions: The opening line seems a bit too much... would you need both old and decrepit? Also, dropping pane may help. Also, maybe use a comma and combine these two, "In the cold harsh marble sink across the room, I see the ashes. Lying on the marble with a ray of sun shining directly on the pile." One other thing I noticed, when you use the ellipsis (...) I think there should be a space after the last dot.
Review: This is a great opening, it builds suspense while giving a brief look at what's to come. Good job, keep on writing.
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: Easy to read, nice flow and colorful writing.
Strength: Good humor and wit. Very descriptive and well explained, good details. You create a wonderful image of neighborhoods we all know, and the people in them.
Questions: In your opening paragraph, the sentence about the guy with the dog-horse with bowel problems isn't the clearest and kind of catches. I'm not sure, but maybe if it was reworded? The other thing I noticed was the names, first and last. Growing up, we called some by first name, but it seems the grumps were usually Mr. Something. Just a thought I wanted to share.
Review: A nice bit of writing, a fun and entertaining story that's easy to relate to.
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: Interesting format, a poem of question. Nice flow and rhythm.
Strength: The questions that can't be answered, but make the reader ponder of self. The rhyme sequence is nice, the language clear.
Questions: In lines one and five, are these independent questions, or part of the question before?
Review: Well written, and tastefully presented. I believe most people can relate and hope to find their own answers. I hope you find yours, and wouldn't it be wonderful to put your answers in an answering poem?
Good job, keep on writing!
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: Well written, descriptive, and very colorful.
Strength: Good imagery and structure, strong and structured. You use great vocabulary to describe, and your humor is wonderful. The ending is a real prize.
Questions: The opening paragraph seems a bit weak on the subject; could it be more captivating to draw the reader in? I did notice a couple of grammar/mechanical items but lost them as I became more caught up in the story.
Review: A wonderful piece, witty and entertaining. Something anyone with pets should be able to relate to, and appreciate. Even those without should enjoy this, well done. Keep on writing!
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: A wonderful story!
Strength: Good structure, clear and easy to follow. Nice dialog, great ending.
Questions: You may want to check some of the mechanics, sentence structure, punctuation, etc... I noticed a couple of areas that were questionable.
Review: Your story line is great, you draw the reader in very well, you evoke the emotions (I even got a bit teary eyed), and you have a strong ending. Very well done, keep on writing!
I have a story in my portfolio with a similar theme you may enjoy reading. It's title is, "The Old Man" and if you would give a short review, I would love to know what you think of it. Thanks
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: Nice flow and rhythm, great rhyme.
Strength: You have a wonderful format, use great rhyme and express yourself wonderfully.
Questions: I found nothing to question
Review: A powerful subject well put to verse, that many will relate to, directly or indirectly. You did a beautiful job with this, you evoke emotions and invoke compassion. Well done, keep on writing!
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: Beautiful subject, well expressed.
Strength: You do a great job with rhyme and paint a vivid picture with words.
Questions: This is difficult, as I'm just studying and beginning to understand poetry myself. In reading this out loud, though, the flow seems uneven and a bit difficult.
Review: Well written. You describe in a way that gives clear image while touching the emotions. Well done, keep on writing!
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: Interesting subject, a lot of information in a short paragraph, and great imagery.
Strength: You use great imagery to show your story, you use strong language with clear meaning.
Questions: There are a few. My first would be to use a spell check, many readers are turned away before they even have the opportunity to know what the story is about. The same applies to structure and mechanics. Other than this, the story itself is good. One thing I find confusing, however, is after falling to the ground lifeless, you see? Perhaps after falling, you see these things with the final glance of your eyes and hear the BANG! as a last sound, then lifeless.
Review: Just opinions and suggestions, of course. You tell a good story in a short space, and that is difficult to do. You did a good job on the telling of your story, keep it up.
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: Well written, nice rhythm and flow
Strength: Your opening line is powerful and captivating. You describe well and create an image with words.
Questions: My only question is in the general format. In line seven, there is only one word; does this balance with the rest? It seems to create a bit of a pause when reading and may interfere with the flow here.
Review: A very good job, well written and very well put. Keep on writing!
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: Very well written, great flow and wonderful rhythm.
Strength: You do a wonderful job at keeping the rhythm and flow while holding your point and staying on subject. Your use of wording is intriguing.
Questions: As for the poem and your writing, none. On a personal level, only one. May I have permission to print this poem? I would of course honor your privacy and copyright.
Review: A wonderful poem and a wonderful subject that I can relate to well. You have done a terrific job, well done. Keep on writing.
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: Nice. Interesting, easy to read, and enjoyable.
Strength: Nice work with rhyme, good rhythm, and nice flow.
Questions: None
Review: Very well written! Good job.
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: Well written, and a terrific subject.
Strength: Great flow, terrific rhyme, and a wonderful rhythm.
Questions: In line 10, I notice that you have, "till i caught" and needs capitalizing. I didn't find anything else to question.
Review: A nice poem, easy to relate to, and enjoyable to read. I'm happy to hear you had this published; congratulations. If you don't mind me asking, what's the publication?
Keep on writing!
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: A fun poem with an unsuspected outcome.
Strength: Great rhythm and flow, wonderful rhyme, and terrific word choice. Descriptive and colorful!
Questions: Are there any? I'm only beginning to learn about poetry, and I didn't find anything questionable.
Review: Very well written, very fun to read, and your ending is terrific. Well done, keep on writing.
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: A cute poem with an interesting ending
Strength: good word choice, Nice rhyme, descriptive and well composed.
Questions: Does the flow seem to catch a bit when read out loud? This is always the tricky part for me, keeping the rhythm and flow smooth, without altering the rest.
Review: This is a fun poem, easily related to, and with an interesting ending and a great message. Good job, keep on writing.
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: A nice story, fun to read, imaginative and well compiled.
Strength: Good dialog, witty, and great structure. Well composed and presented.
Questions: Punctuation may need some looking at, especially commas (I tend to use too many as well) and towards the end, You have, `“HE’S GOT A GUN!” yelled one of the other employees, and everyone dived to the floor.`, and may want to change dived to dove.
Review: I enjoyed your story, and if there are other areas that need attention, I missed them from being absorbed in the content. I'm not real crazy about the ending, they should have set Rusty up with a melon patch in the big house. Thanks for sharing and keep on writing.
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: A very lovely poem, touching and happy.
Strength: Good word choice, strong rhyme, even rhythm.
Questions: Does the flow catch a bit when you read it out loud? Another member pointed out to me how well it works to read out loud to see how smooth a piece flows.
Review: A beautiful poem about a beautiful subject. Well written, colorful and cheery. Good job.
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: Very interesting, and well written. A difficult story to write, I'm sure.
Strength: I enjoyed your use of dialog and colorful language. It adds much more impact to your subject. the use of questions rather than statements also increases the awareness and brings the reader deeper in.
Questions: Just a few on some minor mechanics. Are you aware in line 2 that there's an "i" missing from it's? Also, in line 5, it appears to be an extra space after the "e" in He'd. Did you know that in lines 25, 38, 49, and 61 there are double periods?
Review: Other than a few typos, which we all suffer from, I found this to be well written, very readable, and something I believe many can relate to. For me, I can relate to both sides as well as your arguments. I agree, we all make our own choices and the most we can do for another is offer information. Well done.
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: Cute, funny, and uplifting, a nice poem.
Strength: the rhythm is great, it flows nice, it's entertaining and fun.
Questions: None.
Review: OK, one question, can dust bunnies really be this scary? I know what your saying, and have seen how quickly they can multiply and settle throughout a home. Kind of like Tribbles, I suppose, able to reproduce at will... A great read, thanks a lot for sharing it.
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: A wonderful poem, and a terrific subject.
Strength: You use great rhythm, the flow is terrific and you did a wonderful job with rhyme.
Questions: None
Review: This is a great poem, I enjoyed it and related to it. My wife loves bird watching, and we both can understand this very well. Thanks for sharing.
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
I'm not qualified to give professional advice, but will share my thoughts and opinions. My reviews are intended for positive feedback and to give you another point of perspective, never to belittle or instill negative feelings.
Overview: This is great. A wonderful metaphor, sensual phrasing can refer to either a person or book.
Strength: You used great pattern and a wonderful choice of words to put your meaning across. You purposely mislead the readers mind to one subject while always holding true to the other subject.
Questions: My only question is your use of ellipsis. The most common form of an ellipsis is a row of three periods or full stops (...). Your use varies from two (..) to eight (........), is this intentional?
Review: This was fun reading, and I did pick up both meanings without having to read the second version, but it's nice to have it there. You did a great job. Keep on writing.
"Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." TJ
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