*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/candylorenz/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3
Review Requests: ON
141 Public Reviews Given
145 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 2 -3- ... Next
51
51
Review by Beautiful Candy
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
This is truly from the child's point of view. I could really feel that the one who's talking is a child.

..."what you're teaching isn't really 'sharing'...True. Most of the time parents remained a child inside that when they get into taking responsibility, the only way they knew was on how they've understood their own situation. That's sad.

As for the way you've written your story: At first, it gets the attention of the reader but half-way, it loses it's charm. However, the end tried to win it back but not completely. Maybe you need to think of another way on how to keep your reader's attention especially on this interesting piece.

Hope to read more work from you.

Happy writing! :)
52
52
Review by Beautiful Candy
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Before I read this poem I wasn't smiling but after I read it I am all smiling. :)

9-9-5-5-9

Love it!
53
53
Review of Happy Wanderer  
Review by Beautiful Candy
Rated: E | (5.0)
While reading your poetry i wondered how odd this mother is...did she abandon her child?

Then as i progressed in reading, i said, is she a traveler? Could be her way on earning for living.

When at the end, i thought, oh! What a nice child to see that as enjoying travelling around the world.

Now, the perhaps she's running away...or running towards...? This question doesn't matter anymore because of how you have ended it. Beautiful! :)
54
54
Review by Beautiful Candy
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Wow! I like your story. I got carried away. I actually said, "Oh! Mr. G, don't go out of the bar!" - Thus, the effect of characterization, you have made them alive. :)

And the twist of who got the money surprised me, it is like "am i watching a movie?".

I like the ending...in a solid thud...dramatic.

One thing I hope it would have not been is the title...Trials and Tribulations. I think it deserves a better one. :)

55
55
Review by Beautiful Candy
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Oh! I never thought reading history would be as relaxing as this.

At first, i was about to ignore this short story because I always doze off whenever history is being tackled. However, the font color caught the curious cat.

I am lucky to have read this one. It is well-written! I did not notice i've reached the end of it.

Even the characters are interesting and vivid.

Now, i am curious to know more about the Life in Medieval England.

This is a professional's piece, i couldn't afford to give comments but guidance from someone like you.

Nice visual!
56
56
Review by Beautiful Candy
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nice work! You ended your story striking enough to make the reader join in in your conclusion.

The details are written with clarity.

I hope to read more of your work, Toni Jay!

Thank you for sharing your work.
57
57
Review by Beautiful Candy
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Oh! Nice article! Coffee can really help us do more things than usual. Thanks for the one who made it.

I'm lucky to have read this one. It made me smile and think of the familiar people around me everyday.
57 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 3 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/candylorenz/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3