I would really love to say: This is just soo stunning...your words alone describe my reason for writing. Getting all them thoughts and feelings out on paper is far more easier then speaking them. I love the imagery of the poem, the flow is smooth and easy to follow, and the rhyming involved is amazing!
Thank you for such a fabulous share..i hope to see more just like this!!
Write On!!
Hehehe, this is real cute j2...I've heard many types of johnny jokes growing up, but none with storyline behind them. I like the imagery provided in this piece, allows me to envision each scene as johnny approcahes the different areas of the story, school, home, etc. You done a wonderful job writing this hun!
Really awesome poem ann...still no title eh..hmmm..I have suggestions, but not sure any of them may fit the bill...haha get it..fit the bill..hahaha ok, that was a sad joke!!
Anyways..
You've got some darn good imagery spilling out greatly in this piece per stanza, and that rhyme scheme.....ooooo You know I just loveee a good rhyme, and bonus part is, this makes perfect sense!!
Keep that writing flow coming hun, you've nailed this poem beautifully..so bring on some more!!!
Hello, I'm stopping by today to do a member to member review, I just hope that's ok..lol
I had the same issue with my oldest daughter when my son was born. She was only 3 at the time and he was being born, and she was doing so excellent in training potty wise and bed wise, till he came home from the hospital. Now she has a sister too who is 2 yrs younger then her, and that never made a difference for her, but, her brother was the break of her good patterns. Its funny how bringing in a new family member can change the patterns inside the house. It took her actually till this year ))she's 5 now )) to stop her jealousy, and get back into the swing of things. I'm glad your sons have become acceptable to their new sister. Its hard on kids to make new changes when all along they get so used to it one way. But if anyone was to ever say it was impossible, they'd be the ones who gave up trying to make things work!
Thanks for such a wonderful share, it's great to see I wasn't alone when dealing with a kid who was a greeneyed monster!!
This is such a beautiful poem of romance and love. The feeling I get when reading it, sends shivers down my spine. I guess i stumbled upon this one right in time of the month of love. Your imagery is wonderful and flow is great. I sense your happiness in this piece. Thanks for such a lovely read, and keep the flow of writing coming!
Have you ever read something that made your skin creep, send chills, and make your mouth water? Well that's what this story had done to me. I'm craving a chocolate PEP right now. ( Pep..is a minty chocolate ).
I think it was the whole imagery of this story that has me struck on wanting this type of bar now. I'm not easily encouraged to eat chocolate, but gawd, this story leads me to want it now!
Your descriptions were more then I could handle, more then my sense can handle! You have done such a wonderful job defining the smell, the taste, the look, the flavor, everything!!
Thanks for such a great read, I have to go now and get me a pep before my drool gets the best of me!! LOL
Oh my sweet lord, I think I near bust a gut from laughing. I can't believe what I just read. I haven't seen anything as funny as this since a x-mas one I read back in december.
Your imagery: well this area was more then amazing, it was hilarious to envision! Your words were something else,
Your flow: very steady, very smooth, I never got lost along the way as I read along. Indeed a very steady pace with a point in the end.
Your rhyming: very well done in this area as well. Nothing was pushed together to rhyme and that's always a great thing to see when reading poem that contain a rhyme.
What I like most: The ending was just too much fun. It held the poem strong and never left it stray away.
What I like the least: N/A
Overall Impression: A very cute little poem, was indeed filled with humor, such humor I am now going to spread around to many of my wdc friends for them too to get a good laugh from this well dreamed up poem
I've decided to review this whole folder as the last review to the WildCard reviews. I have been in such awe over all your stories. I have never been in a port so delightful such as yours. I have been in amazement since last night when i started reading all your most amazing stories found within. the next time I see another author ask for some excellent reads for erotic I will certainly send that author your way. I have been so excited today, (( even though I have been sick with the flu)) to of had the pleasure of being in such a fantastic port! This folder may hold short stories, but they are all superb reads, and deserve as much attention and YOU deserve much praise for all your hard work!!
Thanks ever so much for providing excellent reads. Stories that i will always remember!!
Oh now this just gave me a good chuckle. I would never of thought to of ever of done something like this for anyone. I have written poems for people before but never would of thought to of dine it like this! I knew you have talent and this just really proves it even more so the your stories have already done. I can see you really like your buddy, and thats awesome, I have a few writing buddies also that i adore so much. Isn't it just nice to ahve that on special person you relate to so well?
Oh wow, such a wonderful auction! I love the layout, the prizes up for grabs and the rewards offered inside, such a fantastic idea. The layout itself is perfect, and the charity chosen is an excellent choice. I see you have many supporters already taking such great interest in everything offered, and that's wonderful to see. I really hope this works out the way you expect it to, and I'm so excited that there is a person out there who feels the love for the angel army the way you do and is not scared to help raise funds for everything the group does for others here at wdc!! WTG
I really think this should be an xgc or gc instead of 18 plus, only beacuse it provides vass details of the events happening with the love these two share! I really enjoyed the story however, and find that there is nothing on this earth of good as a feeling then love and being love and given love in this form of way, the excitement that some ways of love can provide are more the anyones words of comfort.
A overall, entertaining story. This story provides excellent imagery, and gives me the reader some excitement when reading. The layout and scenery is perfect and not once did I ever feel lost within the story. You have caught my eye with this one right from the beginning, and I do hope to read more if and when you ever make more for it, and if, by chance the ending is how it is, then at least it ends with love!!
Sounds like bryce has a good head on shoulders in this part even though I already don't like summer. Guess I just see some stuck up woman on the loose and not caring what or who she's with drunk or not drunk. I guess I've always looked at love scenes kinda from a man's point of view, maybe I'm just a tomboy and can see the 50/50 with people..lol
We need some DNA babes, some hard cold DNA, it's like a moment I'm craving even though i feel each character and see in my thoughts their movements and actions. The Fact that it's like a cycle, and keeps going on and on with twists and more deaths similar to previous ones, a murderer on the lose, one that will be brought to justice ( I hope ).
Oh I am really into this, I swear you've really grabbed my attention and I just can't stop reading!!
Oh my, I thought, well this should bring him justice for his wrongs, then seen that the game was being played back at him. My thoughts were raw and my heart is pumping provided by your excellent imagery (( he's not done yet )). Oh I'm just bubbling inside to keep reading. It's getting good, real good, I can't seem to stop reading, it's so uplifting and exciting.
OOOOO, It's like watching an episode of CSI, I'm hooked in deep and aching to read more. Your descriptions are hard cold truth in an investigation and it shows you've took time to sit back and think about how to word it right so the reader ( me ) won't get lost along the way. I really love how you placed me in several places/ scenes and didn't lose me, just giving me the reader a glimps from all areas of the story, of who, what, where, when and how.
Well, as much as I like a good contest, I must say, this is very creative. I enjoy the layout, and the prizes alone are to die for, or to write for in an erotica way of writing, lol. You have captured a good genre to take on and reward others for their hard work in writing. Not many here would open up like this and take on this particular genre, Bravo!!
Best of luck with the contest!
Wow, this game looks like so much fun.
I love the idea, and the layout looks fabulous.
The prize in the end is worth the chance to enter.
It is very well explained out and I can't see any downfalls in the idea what so ever, as it looks, it has been a very popular game in the past, so why not keep it going for the future yet to come!!
Bravo and keep up the lovely thoughts and activities.
Very nicely written, the flow of the poem is most refreshing and the imagery in very straight forward and easy to visualize. I just have one little thing to say about it:
Your line:
You can change the bad person's mood, turn them the way they should
This part here kinda strikes me oddly, for I don't see any bad people, just bad choices or bad intentions which could lead to mistakes made. Perhaps you could say:
You can change a person's bad mood, turn them the way they could be
It would seem more enlightening and not as if you were saying people are bad in general or a person is bad in general.
I guess what I am saying here is, you have a very creative poem here on display for reading and reviewing purposes, and you have a great way with words and I can see you are trying to just create smiles to show that life can be worth living, and I get that easily from this very moving poem. Just with a small suggestion, this poem can be very grabbing to most readers, and very showing at the same time.
Thanks for a wonderful share, and keep them creative skills of poetry flowing.
Write on!!
Hello there, I am here tonight to pass along a friendly review for this poem.
As I read this piece, I could feel myself slipping away into a vision, and not just any vision, a vision of all happy memories I carry in myself of my own mother. I enjoyed the way you have captured such wonderful moments and placed them into unforgettable memories. I too wish to never forget everything my mother has offered to me in life. We sometimes never get the chance to praise our parents the way we should have from the beginning until it's too late.
Your poem has a very steady flow. It reads gently and doesn't stray off the main point of which it was written. I love that about this piece.
Your imagery, well that's always the best part about any poem. Giving the reader a chance to envision your words as you describe each moment you remember, it's like taking a breath of fresh air.
The rhyming is a wonderful added touch to this piece. There were a few places that seems to not rhyme as well as others. I suggest perhaps reading this out loud and see how it sounds that way. It could just be my own english that leads me to say words differently though.
The poem itself doesn't appear to need any work done to it, you have covered the basics well to a good poem and the layout is wonderful too. The best thing about this poem is, it's more like a tribute to a mother, and that's what i like most about it!
A job done very well in my opinion. Bravo!! Keep up the great work, and keep that pen writing, you have talent in you that needs to shine bright, and I myself can see it by reading this one poem of yours!!
Hello, popping in to give out a friendly review!! Please enjoy!
I break down poems a little more easier then I do stories, so below will list the ratings of stars towards this piece, Please bare with me!!
Imagery: Very detailed. The wordings are more then one would expect in a poem. Although this way, it helps create the image for the mind to vision what the writer is trying to portrait. Well done in this area!
Flow: Very smooth read. The flow of the poem was held together very nicely. It read simple, and to the point.
Layout: Fabulous layout, description is very well done, and the style you chose matches the poem excellent.
What I Like/Dislike: I enjoyed the darkness of the poem. There are many dark writers found on this site and you seem to know exactly how to word your passion of that darkness in poetry so very well!
Excellent read. I see no errors, and no places that need work, you have done a superb job writing this! Bravo!!
Thanks for the share and I do encourage you to keep on writing!!
I never looked at fear through this angel before. I can really feel the words and relate to them, for my life each day revolves around fear, but then again, so many others feel this way day to day also. If we can just face our fears head on, then we would have a more simple life, or at least that's what I think.
Thanks for the beautiful share of poetry and keep that flow of writing coming!
Beautiful poem, very enlightening. I like the imagery the most and the flow is wonderful with that added use of rhyme. You were able to capture moments so true very easily...bravo on such a wonderful piece. Keep up the gret work and always remember to write on!!
Oh wow, this is very strong, very powerful wordings. Your heart must have poured out deeply when writing this. I can feel the anger, the frustrations, the curiosity deep within the poem rise and take hold onto so many questions that are still left unanswered. This must have taken a good period of time to write. The emotions behind it, so raw, so REAL...wonderfully written!!
Flow is great!
Imagery is fabulous!!
Both qualities that make a poem a poem, and both qualities are found so clearly in this one!! Bravo on such a wonderful piece!! Keep up the great work!!
Hello, Just thought I'd stop by and peek in your port today, came across this poem and thought, wow.
Your description is truly breath taking. I had a tear at the end of your poem.
Your imagery is beautiful, well laid out, and to the point. It's like a little story inside the heart, that needed to come out and be told to all those who felt this way. Just amazing how it's laid out.
Your flow is wonderful, smooth and easy to read. I never got lost, and I never had to stop and wonder what it was about, it just felt like a poem to drift off into. Being able to envision it was the best part.
Thank you for a fabulous share of poetry and keep up the great work!!
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