Wow leger, this is so powerful. I am not sure how I should feel about it. I would never see dark people in the eyes of the way most do, and its a sin to speak of them as if they are nothing but pure outkasts to society.
I enjoyed reading this however cause you have made perfect sense of how different colors are seen in the world today. How discrimination takes place all over the world due to culture and color. You have given such strong words to feed upon.
I have really enjoyed the way this reaches out and ouches me deeply to the point that I could near cry for them men whom you speak of in this piece, how they must feel to be ridiculed due to skin. Its a harsh truth to the world today but the fact that you were able to capture and speak out the way you have in this poem, is stunningly amazing.
Keep up such fabulous work and thanks so much for the share. Tayasky
Wow, I just love seeing it when you run an auction. I hope you do well and would also like to wish you the best of luck in this one as you have had in the past ones as well.
Take care
xoxoxo ((hugss))
Hello, tayasky here with a review for this whole folder for Tha Angel Army Birthday Pool...review 3/3.
I have had a very loevly time reading through this folder in all your poetry. I have enjoyed reading everything you have shared within. I get the sense to each piece that you have much heartach, and I strongly beleive that you will overcome all obsticals, all the pain, and shine brightly as a star. In my eyes your poetry is pure, and delicate, and I believe it deserves much attention as do you.
I wish you all the best in life and also wish for you to have a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!
((hugss))
Sincerely: Tayasky
Hello, tayasky here with review 2/3 for the Angel Army Birthday Pool.
Imagery: Wow...This was very descriptive. You have made me feel afraid but at the same time saddened by what was spoken about in this piece. The emotion that pours in this poem has certainly struck me.
Flow: This was amazingly written. It caught my eye and grabbed out for my attention right away. It is easy to read and so smoothly written.
Impression: This poem makes me sense pain deep inside it. The fact that I feel you have suffered from pain of love or what was meant to be love, It's truley an outstanding poem.
Suggestions: I have none for this poem. it is written remarkably as it is.
wow, wow, wow, wow.....you certainly have a great knack for erotica. You make it so tastesul. It's hard to peel away from it while reading along. Your muse is so awesome. Dark and lovely....
You do such a awesome job in description and your flow is so wonderful.
You Know staine..I hope this site does accept your request for a black award-i-con....It would be nice to see the color represent the darkness other then just red. Also I agree a white would be lovely also, considering there are many people in this site who do write about angels and God, and spirits and I believe white would be fabulous to award someone in that genre with as well.
I hope that their will be many many many more people vote in this poll as well.
It really would be great to see some new colors added here at WDC.
Write On my friend!!
This is very well thought out. Placing a war into a poem is a wonderful idea and it moves me when i read it.
Imagery: You have gave such vast amount of descriptive words in this piece which allowed my imagination to set itself back to vision this all happening.
Flow: This was very easy to read and was smooth sailing from beginning to end. you have done very well at setting the scene and allowing it to make complete sense throughout the whole piece.
My favorite part: I can not just pick one certain spot in this poem as my favorite seeing that I believe the whole poem has true potential and very much feeling deep within.
Suggestion: I have none for this poem, it is a very remarkable read.
Overall Impression: I really enjoyed reading this piece. It gave me such a great vision of what men had gone through for our countries at time of war.
Thank you once again for entering into ~Eternally Our Friends Poetry contest~.
Imagery: I think you did a fabulous job at describing what was going on in this poem. Right form the homeless boy and puppy right to the whole ( It happen on the streets of Mexico)Bravo!!
Flow: I enjoyed reading along with this piece and since you gave such a remarkable amount of imagery with your words that I was able to keep reading, and being stunned at the same time for I really believe this poem stands out.
I really hope you get very good reviews for this piece since I also have been amazed by this poem completely. I find you are very talented and I do hope you continues to write, write, write.
First of all I would like to sat thank you for entering into my contest ~Eternally Our Friends Poetry Contest~. I really appreciate it.
Imagery: This was very descriptive and I enjoyed reading it and allowing my mind to imagine each word as I read along.
Flow: This was very easy to following along with and with the use of rhyme it really made it stand out and grab my attention. Bravo!
My favorite part:Sirius black dear mongrel cur
Threat to us your action will spur
Trotting beside us, keeping track
When suddenly thugs did attack Leapt instantly, a formless blur
Sirius black, dear mongrel cur.
This stood out to me cause you really showed me how protective a dog can be of it's owner and how it's cause of the love and devotion the animal holds for it's owner that allows them to stand guard and keep watch over us in all cases.
Overall: This was a very good read and I enjoyed it alot. I noticed one small spelling error and that can be fixed easily with a touch of a button. I have highlighted the error in blue for you to notice where it was at. Other than that I must say that it was very honest and touching for a good poem.
First of all I would like to say thank you for entering this into ~Eternally Our Friends Poetry Contest~ I really appreciate you taking the time to enter.
Imagery: Your words have been very descriptive, which gave me the chance to allow my imagination set flow to everything you were saying in this poem. I understand how hard it is to let go of someone who has touched your heart so deeply. In this case that someone is a dear friend of the animal kingdom and we should feel lucky to have gotten to know our dear friend as much as we have and to carry out their memory with much honor and much affection in the end.
Flow: The flow of this poem was very nice. It was smooth reading from beginning to end. It was able to touch my heart in ways that many may not understand and in ways that many can relate.
Overall: This is a well thought out poem and the fact that it has such strong meaning has touched me deeply inside. You have done such a wonderful job with this piece.
Thank you kindly for such a wonderful share. I wish you all the strength to help you along with the departure of your dear friend.
Hello, tayasky here with a review for your poem entered into my contest ~Eternally Our Friends Poetry Contest~
First of all I would Like to thank you for taking my contest into consideration and for taking the time to enter. I really appreciate it.
Imagery: I strong believe that you gave just enough imagery in this piece to keep my mind juggling. I was able to keep following along from beginning to end. Well done!!
Flow: This has struck me as a really smooth read. Your use of rhyming had made it really stand out and it grabbed my attention right away. Bravo!!
I really enjoyed this part: How can I
make the reader
connect to feline
antics they beset.
Or convince them
how adorably fine
an ugly canine
is of mine.
Cats and dogs of many shapes and colors are wonderful to see and to understand them it can be rather difficult. But you seem to have them down to an art and placed it in such an attractive way of wordings.
Overall: I really enjoyed this piece and I do hope my review was what you were expecting. I look forward to seeing more of your poetry in the future!!
Thank you again for such a great read. Remember to Write On!!
First of all I would like to thank you for entering this into ~Eternally Our Friends Poetry Contest~ I really appreciate you taking the time to consider my contest.
Imagery: I think you lack a wee bit in this area. You give some description but I don't feel like it was enough. I was able to see what you were saying but not be able to completely feel the words. Example being: I can see the water flowing through the river.
I can see the people in the cars.
I can see the mountains in the distance.
This is all great to see but I guess I am searching for more description. Like: What did the waters look like to the bird below, what did the people look like in a birds eye and what did the mountains look like...were they beautiful in some way that the bird could feel like it was breath taking?
Flow was good but with lack of imagery it made it a wee bit hard to keep in the groove of reading.
I understand that not all authors leave a vast amount of description to their poetry and that they tend to get straight to the point, but I enjoy being able to feel the words and I really enjoy being able to picture what is going on. With the lack of imagery in this it was really hard to get attached to it.
Thanks again and I hope that this review has helped somewhat. Please remember to Write On!!
Hello, tayasky here with a review for this poem, this will be 1/3 reviews given to in your participation towards Theft for Ransom. I would also like to say thank you for your support in helping raise gp's for many charities in and around writing.com.
Haiku...wow...The shortest type of poetry with the most ways of looking at them. One word can mean so many things. I am going to attempt to break this down piece by piece and let you know exactly how it feels to me ( your wordings that is)
Your first line to me..shows patience to look, watching the softness of the hands of a loved one. Each finger has a meaning to this writer. what the meaning is I'm not quit sure but am getting a romantic feeling out of it.
Second line..It says to me that many things are said at the click of a letter and that the heart is behind each word typed but this person.
Third line..This says to me that the person is placing their whole self into words and is hoping for a response of the romance nature to reach her eyes. Or his eyes...not really sure if I can really state weather I am feeling a mans presence or a womans.
I really enjoyed breaking this apart to what I feel is the meaning of it. Haiku is a very difficult type of poetry style to write and you my friend had done such a wonderful job with this one.
Hello, tayasky here with review 2/3 for theft for ransom!
This poem had me wondering what to think, but thats what you probably intended for the reader to do. But my thoughts weren't of any bad thoughts. I strongly believe that each writer has there own style of life weather its to be kind or mean, straight forward or secretive.
You had given such wonderful imagery in this piece and the fact that it made me sink deep into my chair and begin to wonder about myself at the same time. You did amazing writing here sweetie.
The flow of this poem was smooth and kept it easy to follow and read along from beginning to end.
Thank you so much for the share and I would like to add that it would not matter to me what you did in life I would always consider you a dear friend.
This poem was just descriptive enough for me to see the ice crystals form there beauty in the winter's cold. Again you set off wonderful imagery.
The flow of this poem was great. It was smooth sailing once again and was kept easy to read and simple to follow along with.
I myself live in natures wonder come winter here in Canada, that is why I am able to understand how you see ice crystal beauty as they form when the snow melts but the cold air catches it in time to freeze and take magnificent forms of shapes..I also enjoy the colors they let off when the sun hits them the right way.
Thank you again for a wonderful share...I really enjoyed my visit to your port
I first have to say that you are such a strong person and I envy you for getting past all the hard time and keeping your head up.
This poem shows me the sadness inside of you as the relationship ended but it also showed that the hope of love was still there. The fact that you would not just lay down and give up really shines in this piece. You search and search around and someday things will happen that you will be forever thankful for...This is what I call excellent imagery within a poem.
The flow was once again wonderful. Smooth sailing and was easy to read along with.
Hello, tayasky here with review 1/3 for your participation in (Theft for Ransom), Which I would like to also thank you for all your help!!
This poem made me feel saddened. But not in a bad way. I enjoy reading poetry that includes romance and loss and such. It gives me something to imagine.
As I said It gives me something to imagine and in this piece your imagery is great!! It kept me on an emotional ride, as I could feel and understand the pain inside it.
The flow of this piece was smooth and made it easy for me to follow along while reading. My favorite part in this poem is: I find I've yet much to give,
so much to do and see.
I'm not through with life just yet,
let my soul fly, set it free!
This was my favorite cause it showed me that you are strong and was able to bounce back in life and not give up. Bravo
Hello, Tayasky here with your first review for being a participant in our auction (Theft for Ransom)
First of all I would like to thank you deeply for participating in this cause to help support many charities in and around writing.com. We hope the hospitality of being held ransom was not what you expected. Being given the silent treatment during your stay must have been hard...lol
Now for your review: I must say that who ever this poem is about, he must be one lucky man to have caught your eyes. The love you pour out in this piece shines directly from your pure heart. Giving off such massive amount of imagery which kept my eyes peeled to this from beginning to end.
The part that stands out the most to me that made me feel this poems true emotion was these exact lines: My baby is like an itch,
One that can never be scratched away,
Like a drug,
Potent and addictive,
Forever intoxicating, never yearning to be sober.
You have great love that shines out deep within your words and placing this feeling/ emotion into poetry is even greater. You have made me smile while reading this beautiful piece. Poetry is like amazing art accept you can't see the faces on paper but allowing me to imagine this I had a wonderful time in doing so.
It flowed beautifully and stands out as it spoke such words of hope to me also. Hope that some day I will too feel this passion and desire that you have felt in this poem.
Hey sherri sweetie...Its me tayasky...I have to say this first.. I LOVE YOUR PORT...lol Everything is so comforting to read...You are all for love and that is what makes you a very unique person.
I love this poem very much. The words you use to describe the love involved are amazing. It was so touching to read this.
I really believe that this is the perfect poem for anyone with an imagination of love, would want to read.
Your flow was awesome and with rhyming it really stood out. I really adore this stanza the most:
*I’ll follow you forever; I promise you this;
never take for granted all that we share.
Heaven, sweet Heaven, was found in your kiss;
my loyalty and true love was already there.*
It just makes me pause and fade into dream land. It makes me want a real love even more then before. I could only wish that someday I will have what this poem describes!!
I strongly believe that you my dear are perfect at making people feel that love is just around the corner and that dreams can come true.
Thank you so much for giving me this chance to go through your port and to pick out what I strongly think deserves an award on.....This poem stands out to me the most and I enjoyed it fully....Thanks again!!
((hugs)) Tayasky
Hello, tayasky here with a review for your poem Entered into Eternally Our Friends Poetry Contest.
First of all i would like to thank you for entering such a heart warming poem about the relationship between you and your horse and using the prompt provided.
Imagery: You gave a great amount of detail in describing what it was like while you and your dear friend were together. I felt such heart warming feelings inside this piece. The emotions poor deeply in your words and that is what I call excellent Imagery.
Flow: You captured my eyes with this poem from beginning to end and you kept a great flow with words. In each stanza you carried out such greatness and provided the right amount of emotions to carry on with. Well done.
You reach into me with your eyes, and I know that you love me. This line stands out so much to me..You really took great words to capture the moment of love between animal and human. Bravo!!
Overall I would like to say that you did an outstanding job writing this piece. You had taken a real life experience and had transformed it beautifully into a amazing poem.
This is a really sweet song/poem. I hear a piano in the back of my mind playing along with it.
I feel a sense of love reading this..A chance for a new beginning of joy and happiness for a couple. So with this sense i would have to say that your imagery is good.
Once again you added rhyming to it and that I do enjoy very much..poems/songs that rhyme catch my eyes, It allows me to feel a flow to it and that is comforting to be able to feel what the author is saying/feeling.
I am curious though about the way you present this...I am wondering...Did you mean to have no comma's and no capitalizations included to this piece?
Thanks for the share and i do encourage you to write on!!
This poem is good but I feel it should use a little more description. It grabs my attention but perhaps its because in some way I can relate to your words.
I am left curious though wondering what it is this person you speak of said or what it is you expect them to say...you don't give too much detail and without some more detail, I find it kinda lacks the imagery for me to get really into it.
The flow was good and it kept me reading I just really feel that there is more to it.
Small suggestion:
If you can add in what hurts not just the expression or the feeling you get but even a small sample of what pains you in this piece it might stand out a bit more.
Overall this is good reading just that one small overlooking part that seems to leave me curious.
*flower* I hope this review is somewhat a help to you in improving and if not then I am sorry!!
Take care and remember to Write On!!
Thanks for sharing your pole..I had to really sit back and think about this deeply before answering... its just I had a toss up between two answers that I believed related to me.
On line dating/relationships/encounters/friendships are exciting but can be just as emotionally damaging as ones that are right in front of you!
Again Nice poll and thanks for the share
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Tayasky
Imagery: Wow...This was very descriptive. You have made me feel afraid but at the same time saddened by what was spoken about in this piece. The emotion that pours in this poem has certainly struck me.
Flow: This was amazingly written. It caught my eye and grabbed out for my attention right away. It is easy to read and so smoothly written.
Impression: This poem makes me sense pain deep inside it. The fact that I feel you have suffered from pain of love or what was meant to be love, It's truley an outstanding poem.
Suggestions: I have none for this poem. it is written remarkably as it is.
This stood out to me cause you really showed me how protective a dog can be of it's owner and how it's cause of the love and devotion the animal holds for it's owner that allows them to stand guard and keep watch over us in all cases.
Haiku...wow...The shortest type of poetry with the most ways of looking at them. One word can mean so many things. I am going to attempt to break this down piece by piece and let you know exactly how it feels to me ( your wordings that is)
Your first line to me..shows patience to look, watching the softness of the hands of a loved one. Each finger has a meaning to this writer. what the meaning is I'm not quit sure but am getting a romantic feeling out of it.
Second line..It says to me that many things are said at the click of a letter and that the heart is behind each word typed but this person.
The part that stands out the most to me that made me feel this poems true emotion was these exact lines:
It just makes me pause and fade into dream land. It makes me want a real love even more then before. I could only wish that someday I will have what this poem describes!!
Overall this is good reading just that one small overlooking part that seems to leave me curious.