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126
126
Review of Wheel of Fortune  
for entry "February 7, 2019" 
Review by 💙 Carly
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi ridinghhood-p.boutilier ,

It's 💙 Carly and I have the opportunity to review your poem because it was just before mine in the I Write forum.

I love this 24 syllable poetry contest. I gather you were a winner and I can see why. The only draw back was that I had to look the word aureate up. I like using the dropnote feature and poking the definition in at the bottom of the piece.

Aside from that I felt that your poem conveyed the beauty of the table and its ornate display.


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127
127
for entry "~ A Snow Angel and ~" 
Review by 💙 Carly
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
A cute wee story ruwth . Whether true or not is brought a smile to my face and lifted my spirits. A good wee tale can do that. *BigSmile*

I have never tired this contest so I don't know the details or expectations, but I wish you good luck.

Merry Christmas.

My mother and I are celebrating Advent with a different tea each day... a nice way to end the day. Cheers.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
128
128
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with Poetic Exploration  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi ruwth ,
It's 💙 Carly and I get to review your wee poem for the 24 Syllables contest.

I loved that you captured a moment within the 24 syllables that has great meaning for you... thank you for sharing that Laurel is your father in law. He will be forever held in high esteem within your words and thoughts.
I did have to look up the word rapacious - an adjective meaning to be "aggressively greedy or grasping." Very cool word choice - 3 syllables used right there.
You use the word lovingly in your prayer. We all want an easy way for our dying - both for them, for us and for all the ones who loved them.
May God bless you and keep you within his loving arms as you move through this time.

I count 25 or 26 syllables (depending on how I say being), but I still really like the poem and think it touches on the moment with tenderness.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
129
129
Review of Tofurkey Day  
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating .
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of I Write for 2018 and "Gang's Monthly Review Board"  [13+].
I have just read your short piece "Tofurkey Day" , which I found when I posted my own entry for week #44 to the forum and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
This gave me a good laugh and reminded me of my own family dinners. For that I had to give you the full five stars. The story held me and I ambled right along with you.


Characters:
A husband and wife, team


Setting:
The setting was in the kitchen of the couple.


Plot:
It is a tale of Thanksgiving proportions. Nicely told in that the pacing was spot on and the humour was definitely there... one must always have humoour when dealing with family at Thanksgiving. Humour helps digest that turnkey and all its fixings.


Favourite Part:
There were quite a few parts I enjoyed. I think the fire alarm as a backup cooking timer was great - it iis like that at our house... if fact when it goes off we all yell "Dinner's Ready!"
The comment about her husband thinking the turkey was just spelled wrong was also a hoot.
I also liked it when she had to use a little creativity and cursing to get thee turnkey into the oven. Been there done that!
"That isn't the way you baste a turkey. I think the foam is poisonous." This had me laughing!


Suggestions:
I see no spelling or grammar concerns.
I would say "Sweet Heart is one word - sweetheart. Though I can understand you may have stretched it out to show his frustration at having been awakened by the fire.


Additional Comments:
I loved the real authentic-ness of this piece. it could have been something that happened at my place!
Giood luck in the contest.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
130
130
Review of Wheel of Fortune  
for entry "October 16, 2018" 
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi ridinghhood-p.boutilier ,

I have the pleasure of reviewing your small poem as it is before mine in the I Write in 2018 forum.

There is a darkness in this poem that reflects the feelings I am having... over another topic - that of the holocaust as depicted in the novel The Storyteller by Jodi Pocoult.
I see the invisible lines of history and the bands of it repeating itself. Things said by a current 'Maliciousness-in-Chief echo that of Hitler, But it is not only that genocide.... that was the killing of innocents, but we all have histories of such atrocities. Canada had its residential schools - a kind of cultural genocide which also hurts my heart. We still owe apologies and need to find a way to help those whose families were damaged by the cruelty they suffered.
I swim to find the light... to see the hope. I, and each of us, can make a choice to be that hope. The future does not have to be so bleak. Love can prevail.
Idiots with too much power can be put in their place.... so that they cannot damage anymore than they already have.

I have no idea if your poem is for a contest, but I appreciate the sentiment. Thank you for sharing. Sorry for my extra rant... but that's where my head went. Poems really can take you places.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
131
131
for entry "haiku 2018 #38" 
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey Tinker ,
I have the honour of reading your haiku as it was posted before my Week #40 entry into the I Write for 2018 contest.
I quite like the snapshot of autumn life you captured. I will admit, I had to look 'prinked' because I was not sure what it meant. It works.
I really liked the image of the 'rain slicked two lane road'. I have a soft spot for 'autumn passage' as well because I like those trails and pathways into crisp, colourful areas. Fall is a favourite time of year for me.
Good luck in the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
132
132
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Very interesting story. It kept me intrigued and I had to know what was going to happen. I thought it was well done.

Suggestions:
I saw a few spots:
My arms were full heather, piled so high I could hardly see" - I think it should be full of heather.
"We have a warning that needs interpreted" - I think this should be interpretation.

Good luck in the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
133
133
for entry "~ Proverbs 18:18 ~" 
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi ruwth ,
I have the pleasure of reading and reviewing your piece as it falls before mine in the I Write In 2018 forum.
It sounds like an interesting contest... though my own knowledge of the bible is only budding. This particular passage you have chosen is interesting - mainly in your interpretation. I would agree that picking lots in winning the contest would not seem far. It works for games of chance and those kind of opportunities.
I do agree with you last bit... "no matter the outcome of a lawsuit or quarrel in which you are involved: God is good and He is large and in charge. We can trust right decisions and wrong decision to be putty in His hands as He works ALL THING together for our good as we are called: According to HIS Purposes! Amen?"
My only suggestion in that is don't put the "?" on the end. A simple "Amen." will do and make it strong and vital.
I also like that you entered your own contest... though you are not eligible, you at least get your say. I think this contest is an interesting idea... one I might consider. Good Luck with reviewing the entries.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
134
134
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating ,

I'm 💙 Carly . I am doing this review as part of my commitment to "Poetic Exploration"  and I Write in 2018.

It is important to remember that I am not a professional. I am simply one who wishes to learn and grow in my own poetic voice. To do that, I practice my own creations and review the creations of others so that my knowledge can be furthered. That said, I want you to consider my opinion as merely that... your poem is ultimately your creation. Please feel free to use or disregard my advise as you see fit.

I get to review you poem "Invalid Item"  as it is the one before mine inn the I Write In 2018 forum.

Overall Impression:

This poem gave me a little laugh as I can so relate to my fingers and my computer playing that game of letter mix-up. I does drive me nutty, especially when I go to reread a piece and can't remember what the word was even supposed to be.

Form:

You have been kind enough to tell the reader what the form is - a sonnet. I took a moment to check a website to see if your poem fits to the form. This is a Shakespearean or English sonnet. Fourteen lines with a rhyming pattern - abab cdcd efef gg. Your poem follows that pattern.

Techniques:

Not sure what the technique is but I can see the internal line rhyme of 'moan and groan'.
You employ enjambment which lets the poem flow.

Favourite Lines:

I like the third verse:
"My fingers have a mind of their own,
They type in words that I don't recognize,
And cause the spellchecker to moan and groan"


Suggestions:

I see no spelling or grammar concerns.

Additional Comments:

Good luck in the contest.

Thank you for sharing your poem. I enjoyed reading it. I look forward to reading more of your work. Do keep writing.



Sig for Poetic Exploration ** Image ID #1939850 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
135
135
Review of For Rosh Hashana  
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi ridinghood,
It's 💙 Carly and I have the opportunity to review your wee poem as it is before mine in the I Write for 2018 forum.
I don't know a lot about Jewish holidays, but I liked the language you employed to capture something that I am sure is important to the celebration.
I particularly like the first line - "Take me to the place of my dreams" and the last line "ready to create beauty that enriches the world". Those two lines make me smile as they resonate with my sense of things - dreams can and should always enrich the world.
We are graced with various world religions, just as we are races and ethnic groups. I believe God make us all beautifully and our various experiences make the world a richer place.... so long as we stay open and love one another.
Happy New Year, my friend. Wishing you the best year yet.
Good luck on the contest as well.
Happy writing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
136
136
Review of Fixer-Upper  
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi {suser:geniphery.
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of "Gang's Monthly Review Board"  [13+] and I Write 2018.
I have just read your short story "Fixer-Upper" , which I found when ahead of mine in the I Write 2018 forum and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
A little chilled at the martial relationship, but it seems to be well crafted. I can feel the husband's fear of his wife, but I am also grateful he is not so afraid that he does not even try... after that many years of marriage - and always being the one to 'loose' - I would be inclined to think he would give up. But he hasn't and I think that says something about their relationship - in its weird reptilian way. I am thinking they are dragons or a sort. Either way I am intrigued.


Characters:
A husband and wife. You capture their relationship quite nicely and I am right there with him as he fears he may be eaten or not.


Setting:
Like the prompt says they are on a new planet. The husband is trying to convince his wife this new planet could be a great new place for them to live... a kind of fixer-upper.


Plot:
The Sci-Fi makes this plausible. You craft out a tale that colours their relationship and those of the others that will help them.... the ones getting the other 'small' moons.


Favourite Part:
I like that she gives him this and seems pleased despite the fact that he has already promised others the various moons.


Suggestions:
I see no spelling or grammar issues. All seems quite plausible.


Additional Comments:
Good luck in the contest. I am not a big Sci-Fi reader so I opted out of this particular prompt, but you seem to have done it justice.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
137
137
Review of Wheel of Fortune  
for entry "septiembre 4, 2018" 
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi ridinghhood-p.boutilier ,
I have the pleasure of reviewing your extra entry for I Write - I am so glad she is letting us do this. I get to review your piece "Invalid Item" . It is a wee poem of 24 syllables. Now there is a contest... a great challenge.
Your poem is a mix of French and English... and my French is a bit rusty. The only line I can't figure is "de peau de soie' - the rest, I get. I think I count 25 syllables, but I may have pronounced something funky.
I thought it an interesting choice to use both French and English. I sounds like a great party. I raise my glass to you my friend and wish you good luck in the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
138
138
Review of September Seemed  
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
I love these birthday challenges, unfortunately I didn't get back on line until the 3rd day in and was not up to trying to catch up. But at least I get to review some of the entries... that is just as great.

I am 💙 Carly I am not a professional writer, so please take my review as mere suggestions and always remember the work is ultimately yours.

I had the pleasure of reviewing
STATIC
September Seemed  (13+)
A La'Tuin Poem about Loss
#2168168 by ♥Hooves♥
that was listed before my entry to the I Write contest for week #36.


You have written a La'Truin poem about loss. I am not familiar with this form. I would suggest a little link added to the bottom of your piece in a dropnote fashion - that way those of us that want to learn more can find out about the form. But that is merely my preference and not something you have to do, but I find when I look back at my own poetry I appreciate the reminder for myself as well when I reread my own stuff.
I will have to look at this form before I could really comment too much. I like the third stanza with its imagery.
I am not sure about the rhyming pattern. It seems to be first and last lines rhymed. I like the please and ease. The others are close... internal rhyming is there.
I wish you all the luck in the contest and hope you manage to get all the days done. A poem a day is a serious challenge, especially when the form is given.
I enjoyed reading your piece.
Keep writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
139
139
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello to you Tinker .

I am 💙 Carly and I am happily reviewing your collection of Cinqku poems. I find I like this style much more than the typical haiku poems with their 5-7-5 structure. I had to look up the link you gave in the notes - I do so appreciate it when that is done. I find I learn a lot that way. I am part of the Poet's Place Café as well, but I often don't get to try out the various forms as often as I would like.
I enjoyed reading your wee collection. I particularly like number one - about the coffee (I raise my cup of brew to you!) and number 4 - about the weather. That one allows me to experience the poem through my senses. We need rain here and I long to feel the fog and the calming chill.

I am not sure if this is a contest per se, but I loved reading all you had to share. If you are writing, that is the important part. Knowing this is allowed, makes me excited to try my hand at a few of the upcoming forms of the week. Happy writing and may your week be productive and pleasant. *Bigsmile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
140
140
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi ruwth ,

It's carly67. I get to review your piece this week for the I Write In 2018 forum.

Overall, I would say it was a pretty powerful piece and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
It made sense to me - inferiority being the spirit to hold the main character back. It really does have a way of wrecking havoc and we don't fully realize how much of our power it takes. It drains us in ways we would never expect.
I know that God's Power is strengthened whenever two or more pray together. I was listening to a program the other day that talked about Christians having slipped into this idea that they don't need others to be Christians, but God made us to work together for His Glory. We are his hands and feet, the body of Christ. We are not meant to be alone or to suffer alone. We are to come together.
I remember my mother saying, when I was only a child of 7 or so, that "we didn't need to go to church to believe in God", but I have come to find there is a lot to be said for being surrounded by like minded souls working for the betterment of those around them.
I can also understand where she was coming from... at the time I did not know the story. Now that I am older she has shared some of the pain she was going through at that time... it was much like your character. But she pulled away and so did I... for a long time. But age and experience has brought me back, though with my own marital breakdown I am in transition. Time will heal and I too will find a new church to call... home.
Best of luck in the contest and God Bless.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
141
141
Review of Failing Love  
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi 🌕 HuntersMoon ,

It's 💙 Carly . I am doing this review as part of my commitment to I Write in 2018.

It is important to remember that I am not a professional. I am simply one who wishes to learn and grow in my own poetic voice. To do that, I practice my own creations and review the creations of others so that my knowledge can be furthered. That said, I want you to consider my opinion as merely that... your poem is ultimately your creation. Please feel free to use or disregard my advise as you see fit. I found this piece before mine in the I Write In 2018 forum.

Overall Impression:

I always enjoy your poems Ken and this one is no exception. I really like your take. You took Love to be more than simply the romantic kind. Instead you took it as that which binds mankind together and that resonated with me. The whole poem resonated for me. I will be returning to read this one again and aging.

Form:

I like that you wrote down the form in the dropdown notes at the bottom of your piece. That lets me learn a new form.
The Quintilla is a 16th century Spanish Quintain form of eight syllable (Iambic Tetrameter) lines. The rhyming scheme can vary in presentation, but only two consecutive lines may have the same rhyme pattern.
The second, fourth and fifth lines of each stanza are rhymed.

Techniques:

Enjambment is employed to give the poem an easy flow.
Excellent choices with your rhythms.

Favourite Lines:

Do I have to choose... I love it all. I have always been a fan of the concepts of dark and light and this poem speaks to that very well. For that reason I would have to say the first stanza is my most favourite... it sets the tone and pulls me in:

"Only in silence will you fail love’s test.
Love cannot flourish when kept from the light.
Ignoring our feelings about those oppressed,
we watch silently at our brother’s plight,
turning a blind eye to hatred’s dark blight."


Suggestions:

I see no spelling or grammar issues and you have used punctuation very well.

Additional Comments:

You so nailed this.... I am already considering what to write next month with your last line! *Bigsmile*

Thank you for sharing your poem. I enjoyed reading it. I look forward to reading more of your work. Do keep writing.



Sig for Poetic Exploration ** Image ID #1939850 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
142
142
Review of Her Nose Knew  
Review by 💙 Carly
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi ♥Hooves♥ ,
It's Carly. I found your entry before mine on the I Write In 2018 forum.

I just read your funny, yet gracious poem about a Basset Hound. I love those sweet dogs. We had one in the neighbourhood I used to live in and she was always happy to greet anyone she passed, even if she looked sad and mopey.... the happy tail told a different tale.

I enjoyed your poem. I think you captured the wonderfulness of these dogs. Always aware, but not too fussy about having to explore. She just noses. *Bigsmile*

Good luck in the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
143
143
Review by 💙 Carly
Rated: E | (4.5)
Most excellent of quizzes. Point of view tends to make me stumble. Thanks.
144
144
Review of Solitaire  
Review by 💙 Carly
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi. I quite like this. An OCD secret you say. Well, we all must do what we can to make each day worse.... and I like playing solitaire. Especially playing with real cards and not the computerized version. There is a real grounding to playing the game - a single, solitaire moment that allows you to find peace for a time. There is rhythm in the movements and in the cards... and that feeling of accomplishment when you manage to win.
Good luck in the contest. I enjoyed reading this little gem. Thanks.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
145
145
Review of Jeanie  
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Genipher .
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of "Gang's Monthly Review Board"  [13+] and I Write 2018.
I have just read short story "Jeanie" , which I found when posted my own entry on the I Write forum and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
I liked this piece very much. Both characters are drawn out, especially Jeanie herself.


Characters:
Jeanie and Ben. She is the genie from the bottle and he is an admirer from 40 years in the past.


Setting:
Having come out of the genie bottle she goes into the routine of telling him what he may not wish.


Plot:
Ben gets her out of her bottle and only wants one thing... when she will not give it, he asks to go with her. The pacing is done well.


Favourite Part:
I like how she wants to fuss over her appearance making her seems real, in a way.
She has a quiche that is burning and shows to watch. *Laugh*


Suggestions:
I see no spelling or grammar issues of concern.


Additional Comments:
Good luck in the contest. It seems a clear winner to me.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.
146
146
Review of Fashion Statement  
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi 🌕 HuntersMoon .
Hey Ken, it's Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of "Gang's Monthly Review Board"  [13+] and "I Write in 2018"  [E].
I have just read poem "Fashion Statement" , which I found when I posted my own entry to the forum for I Write in 2018 and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
As always Ken, you have a way with words and crafting them so divinely. A kind of literary 'fashion statement' of your own. Like the garments and accessories you describe, you use more than just mere words to piece together a 'look'. You always manage to create something unique and strong with something to say - it does more than simply look good, it has substance too. You can almost hear the haute couture within the words... particularly if you read them out loud.


Form:
Well, there are six stanzas of four lines each, They hold to the AABB pattern of rhyming. The form is strong and makes a statement, just as the fashions would. The words cling to the strong structure, yet they has a graciousness within the haute couture of the piece.


Techniques:
Enjambment is employed to give the poem a flowing cadence as the poem seems to converse with the reader.
I can almost see the poem speaking to me.
The rhyming words you have selected are strong and vivid. I had a wee laugh at (Like in tents) -which I could also read as 'intense' - something this 'character' of the poem embodies.


Favourite Lines:
Oh to choose, to choose... the last verse holds the most haughtiness for me and makes me smile.

Visionaries know I’m more
than boots or dresses in a store;
my glossy pride has no abatement –
I’m proud to be a fashion statement!


Suggestions:
I see no spelling of grammar issues of concern. You make good use of punctuation.
You nailed this!


Additional Comments:
I enjoyed getting a chance to review your work this week, Ken.
Loved this, each reading gave me a little more and I loved the voice of the poem - it had that 'ju ne se quoi' that many designers have.... and yes, I do love watching 'Project Runway'...

I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
147
147
Review of An Early Morning  
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi Angel .
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of I Write "I Write in 2018"  [E] and "Gang's Monthly Review Board"  [13+].
I have just read your poem "An Early Morning" , which I found when I posted my own entry to the I Write forum a few moments ago and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
First of all I like the picture. It looks quite cosy and I would love to climb back in... although I am not a fan of having my bed right at the window.I think I would prefer the view... but that is just me and has nothing to do with your poem.
So to the poem, whoa, not what I expected. No easy sleeps... they are jarred awake by something just not right. Sirens, lights and chaos. Seems today is a day of darker ideas because even my own piece I wrote turned darker.
Dark secrets hide behind the facades of other people's lives... things we generally never know unless something like this brutal act come out.
Overall, I would say I am left unsettled by this poem... must like I would be if I, too, had heard such a sound.

Form:
The pem is laid out in quatrains with the second and fourth lines rhyming.
Many of the rhymes work for me, but a few, like sill and quilt and soul and cold do not quite hit the mark.
Given the disturbing turn of this poem, I would say those rhymes that don't quite hit the mark are there to emphasize the situation. It is not a smooth, languid morning, but one of violence... the rhymes are meant to put the reader in a sense of juxtaposition... to throw them off balance.


Techniques:
There is enjambment used to give flow to the poem.

Favourite Lines:
The last three stanzas make things clearer for me. I feel the dis-ease of the day coming too soon and the bed being left unmade.

Suggestions:
I see no spelling issues. Grammar looks fine as well.

Additional Comments:
Good Luck on the contest you are entered in.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
148
148
Review of Contradiction  
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Angel ,

I'm 💙 Carly . I am doing this review as part of I Write "I Write in 2018" .

It is important to remember that I am not a professional. I am simply one who wishes to learn and grow in my own poetic voice. To do that, I practice my own creations and review the creations of others so that my knowledge can be furthered. That said, I want you to consider my opinion as merely that... your poem is ultimately your creation. Please feel free to use or disregard my advice as you see fit.


Overall Impression:

I can so relate. I long for a nap now, but know I have far too much to do to let myself give in to curling up and letting myself slip away.... and even if I did manage to curl up my mind would play on what needs doing instead of letting me drift off into oblivion. That bit of rest I know could be refreshing and help to make the work I need to do go a lot easier, but I can't. I am far too stressed to let go. This poem captures that frustration.

Form:

You have chosen to write your poem in 5 quatrains with a rhyming pattern that follows the ABCB structure.
The first verse has beat of 8 in the first and third lines and 6 beats in the second and fourth lines.
The second verse is 7 beats in the first and third lines and 6 beats in the second and fourth lines.
The third verse follows neither of those, although the second and fourth lines are still six beats.
The last verse is similar to the first verse in terms of beats.

Techniques:

Enjambment is used to let the poem flow in a natural way.
Excellent word chose with the rhyming.

Favourite Lines:

The first and last verses sound the best to my ear.
I like the images that last vere conjures.

Suggestions:

When I read it, I pause after my brain and my life in the first verse... i wonder if there should be commas after brain and life.

Additional Comments:

I think you did an excellent crafting of this poem. Good luck in your contest.

Thank you for sharing your poem. I enjoyed reading it. I look forward to reading more of your work. Do keep writing.



Sig for Poetic Exploration
149
149
Review of Thief of Hearts  
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk ,

I'm 💙 Carly . I am doing this review as part of my commitment to I Write for 2018 and "Poetic Exploration" .

It is important to remember that I am not a professional. I am simply one who wishes to learn and grow in my own poetic voice. To do that, I practice my own creations and review the creations of others so that my knowledge can be furthered. That said, I want you to consider my opinion as merely that... your poem is ultimately your creation. Please feel free to use or disregard my advise as you see fit.

Overall Impression:

I enjoyed this lovely poem. Dark as it is, it tells a story that I am able to see and experience. This piece resonates with me. Well done.

Form:

You have chosen to use the Quatrain poem and you have held to the rhyming pattern (AABB) in a way that lets the story be told. A sad story, but one with universal appeal.

Techniques:

Most lines keep to 8 beats peer line and the rhyming is natural and unforced. You employ the double couplet of AABB as your rhyming pattern.
You use repetition to you repeat 'The cruel beast that stole her heart' and each rhyme that goes with heart is varied.

Favourite Lines:

I like the third stanza as it resonates with me. It strengthens the story of all going well and then the bottom falls out of it.

Suggestions:

This may only be me, but the second line stops me up... I am inclined to read it as "He's funny, so charming, and smart." I realize that is only a slight variation of what you have done, but to me 'so charming' is what pulls her in more than 'so funny'.

Additional Comments:

I believe it is a quatrain poem, not a quatem poem.
I wish you luck in the contest.

Thank you for sharing your poem. I enjoyed reading it. I look forward to reading more of your work. Do keep writing.



Sig for Poetic Exploration ** Image ID #1939850 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
150
150
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Neva,
It's Carly. I get a chance to review your piece this week for I Write and it looks like we both wrote a flash fiction entry for the same contest. You had an interesting take... using twins and having one write a story while the other did his brotherly best to annoy her. Funny.
You did a good job getting the words in and remembered to highlight them... I had to go back and highlight after I saw yours.
Good luck on the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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