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Review Requests: OFF
1,115 Public Reviews Given
1,116 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Versatile: I'm good at reviewing different types of writing in different ways. Honest: While I do my best to be honest and encouraging in reviews, I don't omit things. If I tell you I like something about a piece, you can trust that I'm not just saying it. All-Inclusive/Well-Rounded: I look for the good and bad in writing. I'll give you an overall opinion as well as the highlights and what needs worked on.
I'm good at...
Giving feedback within set parameters. If you're looking to receive opinions on something specific, let me know and that's what I'll focus on when giving a review.
Favorite Genres
Horror - all time favorite. Science Fiction and Fantasy are tied in a close second.
Least Favorite Genres
Romance. (Exceptions: Dark erotica intrigues me if it's, you know, dark.) I will happily read and review romance pieces, but I might be a little tougher on it than on other genres.
Favorite Item Types
Static Book/Collections.
Least Favorite Item Types
N/A
I will not review...
N/A I'll review anything. If for some reason you don't think I'll want to, feel free to email me with your concerns before submitting a request.
Public Reviews
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101
101
Review of David's Life  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)

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*Bat1* DISCLAIMER *Bat1*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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*Cat2* INTRODUCTION


Hello DavidMontelongoslive/atruetale ,

I came across your item "David's Life"  through the Read and Review button, and thought that I'd leave you with my notes on the piece. It is a little difficult to properly critique an item of this nature, because I'm unsure of what you hoped to accomplish with it. The item description makes it sounds like these are just notes about your life rather than a proper story/essay, but I'd like to try regardless.

So let's get right into this! *Heart*

*Cat2* WHAT I LIKED:



*Cat* Topic

I think my favorite aspect of the piece was the subject matter.

Autobiographical pieces like this are usually pretty interesting to me, and it sounds like you've had quite the life. There was a lot that happened even in such a short recap of events.

*Cat* Honesty

I really appreciate how you didn't try to glorify yourself too much in the piece, owning up to your faults and mistakes. That's always a refreshing thing to see in nonfiction pieces, and surprised me a lot for something of this nature.

*Cat2* MY SUGGESTIONS:


*Cat* Use this

My biggest suggestion would be that you try to use some of this content to motivate further writing.

As I said in my intro to the review, I'm not sure what sort of item this is supposed to be exactly. There's just a little biography of you and some scattered writing about other events. I do think any one of those events would make for an excellent topic to a piece, however, and would like to see this potential reached.

I would be particularly interested in a biographical story that takes a more in depth look at your childhood in relation to where you're at now in life, or perhaps a letter of apology to your brother. That second one I'm sure would be very personal and difficult to write, but if the lines in here are anything to go off of, I think it could make for a very poignant read.

*Cat2* CONCLUSION:


I hope that this review was helpful.

This was somewhat of an unusual item, but I do think there's a lot of potential for storytelling and catharsis if you choose to explore these feelings further. Thank you so much for sharing this little piece of your history, and I hope that I get to read more of your work in the future.

Sincerely,


-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
102
102
Review of A Mother's Love  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)

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*Bat1* DISCLAIMER *Bat1*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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*Cat2* INTRODUCTION


Hello Happy April 2024! ,

I found your item "A Mother's Love"  through the Read and Review function of the site, and thought that I would leave you with my thoughts.

So let's get right into it *Heart*

*Cat2* WHAT I LIKED:


*Cat* Personal

This was clearly a very personal piece, and that's something I really admire in and of itself.

I know that it can take a lot of courage and honesty to open up emotionally in writing, especially about a piece like this where you express your personal opinions about love and the struggles of showing it.

The way in which you approached writing about the topic was also very open, it made the piece sound all the more sincere. I just really admire what it must take to write and share a piece like this.


*Cat2* MY SUGGESTIONS:


*Cat* Opinion

The biggest (really the only) issue I had with the piece were in one of the opinions you expressed. I believe in a lot of the messages that you had abut feeling and expressing love, but there was one thing that sort of tripped me up.

If love is real, it is automatic. When your love is called upon, it is not questioned. Your response has no alternative if love is true.


I personally believe there is more than one kind of love. I think there's a love that can be built up over time and nurtured, and that it's beautiful. I also believe that the mentality of not questioning a partner or thinking things through for the notion of "true love" as depicted here can be dangerous. The idea of there being no alternative in a difficult situation, or no room for consideration can easily turn toxic very quickly.

Where I stood on that particular section was that it seemed a little aggressive for the tone of the piece - but that is coming from someone who disagrees with the sentiment.

What I appreciate about the piece is that it's well written, and your statements are given ample context. Although I don't agree the included passage, I was able to see where you were coming from and appreciate your conviction for the topic. My only suggestion here is that if that section were toned down some to match the gentility of the other passages, it might come across as more universal - albeit less passionate.

*Cat2* CONCLUSION:



All in all I thought it was a very strong piece. I felt for you during many pieces of it, appreciated your honesty and craftsmanship with the piece, and enjoyed it.

I hope that this review was at least somewhat helpful, and I wish you all the best with your writing.

Sincerely,

-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
103
103
Review of THE COOKIE LAMENT  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

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*Bat1* DISCLAIMER *Bat1*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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*Cat2* INTRODUCTION


Hello SandraLynn Team Florent! ,

I found your item "THE COOKIE LAMENT"  through the Read and Review function here, and thought that I'd give it a shot. It was a fun, light-hearted poem that made me smile a bit.

So let's get right into the review.

*Cat2* WHAT I LIKED:


*Cat* Universal

Although this is a narrative poem, I thought that the feelings behind it and the overall message were pretty easy to relate to.

I've never sold cookies (although I've bought more than my share of them) but I know what it's like to be tempted and struggle with self control. I think most people have experienced that, and it does make this a very strong piece because people will be able to relate, even if they haven't been in this exact situation.

Taking a more serious tone with this piece also helped, because it seems a bit comical considering the subject matter. Turning real, genuine frustration into something that one can sort of smile and find humor in is a rare talent, but I think it's something you were able to achieve quite well here.


*Cat2* MY SUGGESTIONS:


*Cat* Meter

If there was one area that could use a bit of work, I definitely think it would be the meter of the piece. It doesn't have the best flow when read out loud (something that I try to do when reviewing poetry).

I do like that you used rhyme (sometimes even using internal rhyme in addition to the couplets) but I also found that the dramatic variation in syllables from line to line made those rhymes feel forced in some places - and it made the overall experience a little choppier than would be ideal.

One thing that I'd suggest is reading it out loud to yourself so you can hear the rhythm of it, and tweak it if you feel that it's necessary.

*Cat2* CONCLUSION:



Overall, I think this was a solid piece.

While I felt like the meter in particular could have used a bit of polishing, the tone worked so well in tandem with the subject matter. It made it a very effective read, and entertaining besides.

I'm glad that I stumbled across this piece, and hope that this review was at least somewhat helpful. Hopefully with any luck I'll be able to read some more of your work sometime in the future.

All the best,


-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
104
104
Review of Bo Dockett  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)

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*Bat1* DISCLAIMER *Bat1*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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*Cat2* INTRODUCTION


Hello jdennis ,

Thank you so much for taking the time to make a formal review request for your item "Bo Dockett" . This was an interesting read, and I liked that it got me out of my speculative fiction craze, if only for a short while.

I don't have much to compare it to in terms of tone, but I do have some thoughts. So let's get right into it.

*Cat2* WHAT I LIKED:


*Cat* Cyclical

I really liked the tone in the opening paragraphs of your piece, and the way in which you approached describing the importance of the "one thing."

It was very different than the style in which you approached the main body of the story, and at first I found it a little jarring. You'd been dealing with these sort of larger, ubiquitous themes at first, but then shifted into a mundane tax audit, and the sort realistic anxiety/confusion. It didn't seem, at the time, like it was an appropriate introduction.

By the time I got to the end of the story however, I saw it's purpose. It tied in very well to the style in which the conclusion was written, as well as the themes. Sometimes ordinary events in one's life, (or even stressful occurrences such as those experienced by Bo in the story) can break the existential issues of never going after the things we want to do in life.

It was a good message told in a unique way, and overall I think it worked in your favor. It was a gripping introduction to lure the audience in, and it left them with a satisfying conclusion.


*Cat2* MY SUGGESTIONS:


*Cat* One nitpick

Overall I don't think there was anything that needed changed in your execution of the story, but there was one line that didn't read quite right in my opinion:

she paused while grimacing, then shielded her eyes against sickening sounds gushing from the bathroom.


I think I grasp what you were trying to say here, but people don't normally shield their eyes from sounds, and that sort of tripped me up while reading.

Overall though, it was technically clean and your approach to the tale was effective!


*Cat2* CONCLUSION:


Overall, I liked the story a lot.

It's realistic fiction, which is not necessarily a genre that I seek out, but there was a good takeaway and positive message - not to mention an engaging and approachable style of writing.

I think you did justice to the idea, and I thank you for sending this one my way.

I hope that I get the chance to read more of your work in the future.

All the best,


-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
105
105
Review of My Dear Boy  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

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*Bat1* DISCLAIMER *Bat1*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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*Cat2* INTRODUCTION


Hello Keo_Shortstack ,

I found your poem "My Dear Boy"  in the Read and Review section. Now having read it, I thought it would be the perfect time to review! *Heart*

*Cat2* WHAT I LIKED:


*Cat* Rhythm/Flow

The poem reads very well.

Usually when I'm reviewing poetry I make it a point to read it out loud so that I can get a better feel for the meter. Even reading this poem in my head, however, I felt like there was a definite rhythm to it that kept the eye moving smoothly from one line to the next.

The rhyme and meter felt very natural, and distinctive.

*Cat* Balance of tone and imagery

You did a good job keeping the situation fairly vague/open to interpretation while also slipping in pieces of unforgettable imagery.

There was one stanza in particular that really stuck out at me:

the ones that are brazed,
upon your pale skin,
all of them scarred there,
like a permanent pen.


I included this because I think it's a really good example of the somewhat violent, but also clearly metaphorical imagery that you've employed in your piece. That being said, it's also a good example of how well the piece flows from one line to the next.

Overall, I could say comfortably it was my favorite section.

*Cat2* MY SUGGESTIONS:


*Cat* Editing


This is more of a food for thought situation that a flat out suggestion, but you might want to consider editing for more grammatical correctness?

I wouldn't change a single word, but I might go in and add punctuation/capitalization.

I will say that the way you present the poem now reads well, and as a very stylized poem - which may be something that you want more. It's just my personal (general) experience that a poem looks cleaner if it does adhere to some basic grammatical rules.

I don't think the piece needs changed at all to be effective, it's just something that you might (or might not) want to consider, depending on how you want the poem to come across and what first impression you want to give.

*Cat2* CONCLUSION:



All in all, I thought the poem was great. It read quickly, but left an impression, which is one of the best ways that a poem can read.

I hope that this review was helpful, and that I get to read more of your work in the future.

All the best,

-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
106
106
Review of Proof  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)

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*Bat1* DISCLAIMER *Bat1*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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*Cat2* INTRODUCTION


Hello Choconut ~ House Targaryen ,

I have been reviewing pieces that come up in the Read and Review section, and I was so pleased to see your name come up with your item "Proof" . It's been too long since I've gotten to read any of your work.

So let's get right into it, shall we? *Heart*

*Cat2* WHAT I LIKED:


*Cat* The Story

I'm amazed by what you were able to accomplish in such an astonishingly short amount of time.

Your main character, Michelle, was someone I felt like I could root for immediately. You went back to show a little of her past, her moral compass, and what drives her in her work, while also hinting at a much deeper story beneath the surface of what we see.

You set a wonderful tone that really put the reader into the feel of a good detective story.

You created a sleazy villain that could send chills up the spine of the audience.

You offered up tangible tension when you established a deadline, and the importance of meeting it.

Lastly, you left me, as the reader, with hope, while also leaving me wanting more.

The fact that you were able to accomplish all of this in under 300 words is just incredibly impressive all the way around.

*Cat2* MY SUGGESTIONS:


*Cat* Grit

If there was one thing I would have liked to see more of in this piece, it would probably have been details on the crime that had been committed in the first place.

I say this, of course, coming from the perspective of someone who likes True Crime more than mystery, and horror more than anything. My tastes do lean just a little more toward the dark and morbid, but my favorite part of any crime fighting story tends to be the gritty, shocking aspect of it, and that was something you didn't have a lot of time for in this piece.

Of course, that all boils down to personal preference - and I'm still blown away by what all you managed with this piece.


*Cat2* CONCLUSION:



I was very impressed with this piece, and I stick to that. Even if it wasn't as dark as I might have preferred, it was unarguably engaging and well crafted. Thank you for sharing it with the site!

I hope that I get the chance to read more of your work in the future, and as always, it had been a pleasure reviewing you!

Sincerely,

-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
107
107
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (3.0)

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*Bat1* DISCLAIMER *Bat1*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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*Cat2* INTRODUCTION


Hello Alaa Sherif ,

I found your item " Be an awesome marketer In 10 Minutes."  in the Read and Review section and thought that I would drop by to leave you with some of my thoughts on the piece.

*Cat2* WHAT I LIKED:


*Cat* Enthusiasm

I have to admit, I was a little confused as to your intention in writing this piece - but one thing that I was sure of was your enthusiasm for the topic. When a writer cares about their subject matter, it makes the reader care about it more. This was one area where you really shone.


*Cat* Points

You made a couple of really good points in the article, things that I could personally relate to. For example you talked about freelancing in a competitive field, and how learning new skills can help you. As someone who works as a freelancer, I couldn't agree with you more.

*Cat* Positivity

Overall I really liked the positive notes of the piece. It's always good to read about self improvement, so having you open up was great and I love how you encouraged others to be their best by also working on their own self improvement.

*Cat2* MY SUGGESTIONS:


*Cat* Focus

As I mentioned up above, one thing that was a little unclear to me was your intention in writing the piece. In any sort of persuasive writing, I feel like it's good to state your objective clearly in the piece, particularly early on. It's a good way to let the readers know what page you're on starting off.


*Cat* Editing

I think the piece could stand to be editing some. There were some grammatical mistakes, punctuation/capitalization errors. Normally I try not to let those sway my opinion of a piece, but I think writing that encourages self education would be more effective the cleaner it is.

You might also want to elaborate a little on some of your points and lengthen some of the paragraphs. Differentiating your paragraph lengths can actually make reading easier and give a little variety to the piece.

*Cat* Include Resources

You mention here that you prefer self-learning to other methods, but that's not something everyone can relate to. A great way to encourage others to learn about a subject is providing resources for them to get them started. Since you do a lot of your learning online, linking out would be an easy and effective way to gently nudge your readers in the same, positive direction that you're following.

*Cat2* CONCLUSION:


Overall I enjoyed the piece. I think there's room for improvement but I found that I could really relate to a lot of the things you said and I believe in the concept of self-education and marketing (especially for freelancers.)

I wish you all the best on this piece and on all of your freelancing and educational projects!

Sincerely,

-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
108
108
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)

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*Bat1* DISCLAIMER *Bat1*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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*Cat2* INTRODUCTION


Hello Tim Chiu ,

I found your item "Nature's Tactful and Dangerous"  under the Read and Review section, and thought that I would tackle it.

So let's get right in *Heart*

*Cat2* WHAT I LIKED:


*Cat* Vocabulary

What struck me first about this poem was actually your vocabulary. It sounds a little strange (and may be because I'm bad at poetry *Laugh*) but I feel like my vocabulary lessons when I'm working on prose poetry such as this.

Your choice of words makes it clear that the piece was written by an intelligent individual, even outside of the context of the poem itself.

*Cat* Message

I also really appreciate what you were able to accomplish with this piece.

Pointing out the greed of humans in this line of work while also highlighting and romanticizing their skills and capabilities made for an intensely interesting read overall. It felt very well balanced.

*Cat2* MY SUGGESTIONS:


*Cat* Title

If there was one area of the poem that I think could use improvement, it would be the title.

The piece read pretty smoothly overall, and I did find it interesting, but the title didn't really pull me in. Having something more gripping might attract more people to the piece, and start them off on a more enticing note.

*Cat* Tone

There was also one line of the poem where the tone felt incongruous to the rest of it:

For his or her monetary and worldly gains


I'm not sure why, but this tone made me feel more like I was at a lecture or a sermon than reading a poem. It stuck out because everything else in the piece did seem very natural and poetic, but this line felt just a little too forced to me.


*Cat2* CONCLUSION:


Overall I think you did a great job with the piece.

There were a couple things I mentioned that didn't strike me to be as strong as everything else, but you did set the bar pretty high. It was an effective, well balance piece that served to illustrate your point beautifully.

I'm glad to have stumbled across it, and I hope that I get to read some more of your work in the future.

All the best,


-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
109
109
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)

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*Bat1* DISCLAIMER *Bat1*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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*Cat2* INTRODUCTION


Hello CurlyFry ,

I came across your item "Imprisoned By His Love"  in the Read and Review section of the site and thought that I would drop by to give you some feedback on the opening chapter of your story.

So let's get right into it!

*Cat2* WHAT I LIKED:


*Cat* Premise

It looks like you've got an interesting idea for a book/story here.

It's a little difficult to tell at this stage, because as you mentioned in the item description, this is just a small start to what is obviously a much larger story.

Where I think it looks promising comes through a lot in the first person perspective and your main character. Her stream of thought in the opening paragraph suggests that she's capable of great forgiveness (and or potentially has stockholm syndrome) and hints that there may be some philosophical overtones in the piece as a whole.

You had a good hook to bring the audience in before backtracking to tell the story of how the main character gets in the situation, which has proven many times to be effective.

I think there's a lot of potential in this piece if and when you choose to continue working on it.

*Cat2* MY SUGGESTIONS:


*Cat* Structure

I know this is just a partial draft of something, but it might not hurt to figure out how you want to structure it now. It says Chapter 1 in the description but it does seem a little unfocused, and just cuts off suddenly without feeling like a complete chapter or excerpt. A little more insight into the estimated length of the project would make it a little easier to put into perspective for potential readers/reviewers.

*Cat* Main Character's Appearance

This is something I chose to comment on, because it's a personal pet peeve of mine. You let the main character describe herself in the first person perspective as a pretty conventionally attractive woman, and then immediately made an "ugly duck" remark, and it's something that just didn't land right with me.

First of all, it's something that I come across way too often. It feels almost like a trope. Secondly, when I hear pretty characters describe themselves as "the ugly duck" it just gets me thinking about the lack of representation for anyone that isn't a skinny, snow-white, low self esteem protagonist.

This is something I have been working really hard to weed out of my own writing, and I think it's made me hyper aware of it when reading.

Describing your main character's appearance is hard to do naturally when the story is written in the first person. I think instead of mentioning her body issues in an off-handed comment, it might be more effective to touch on the underlying causes of her body dysmorphia. It would make her more empathetic as a protagonist, and potentially open up why she becomes so ready to justify the upbringing of her kidnapper - because she's not used to receiving that sort of attention or seeing herself in the light of being attractive.


*Cat* Editing

And finally, there were just a couple of small grammatical punctuation issues in the piece. That's always the case with my rough drafts (and probably not something you need to worry about too much at this stage) but if and when you get back to working on this piece, it might be worth going over once more for just some basic edits.


*Cat2* CONCLUSION:


As I said, it can be hard to tell what a story is going to be like this early in the process. That being said, I can see a lot of potential here.

You touched on a lot of concepts that could make a fascinating narrative, and I think it's definitely a story worth sticking with.

I hope that I get to read more of your work in the future, and if you ever do further work on this, I'd be happy to review further.

All the best with this, and any other projects you may be working on!


-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
110
110
Review of Room To Rent  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

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*Bat1* DISCLAIMER *Bat1*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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*Cat2* INTRODUCTION


Hello Mastiff ,

I found your item "Room To Rent"  in the Read and Review section of the site, and thought that I'd leave you with my thoughts.

This was a really interesting piece, and I'm excited to get right to it.

*Cat2* WHAT I LIKED:


*Cat* Tone


I think the piece reads as a little scattered. Despite being a relatively short piece, there are a few places where it jumps around and doesn't read smoothly. Normally that's something that I think would be distracting, but in this instance I think it actually gives the piece a bit of authenticity.

Since this is written as an apartment listing, and a highly unusual one at that, I think all the randomness sort of fits. I read a lot of listings that are written with almost this exact style, so you get a 10/10 from me in that category.

The random details also keep the listing moving before any of the ominous, unusual things can be dwelt on too long by the reader - and I enjoyed the fact that it just keeps chugging along without slowing down.


*Cat2* MY SUGGESTIONS:


*Cat* Author's Note

The one big suggestion that I have would be to include an author's note with this piece (maybe even as a dropdown if you don't want it to be too obvious or mess with the very authentic formatting.)

I think it would help explain what you're hoping to do with the piece, and let readers know why you wrote it/ what you had in mind. I mention that because before I read too far into the piece, I honestly thought I might be looking at a real room listing as opposed to a piece of fiction. (And again, 10/10 for approach - I really am impressed with how well you captured the listing vibe.)

The other reason why an annotation might be a benefit to you is because you could share information about the contest that it was entered into. The only reason I even knew this was a contest entry was because that was one of the categories, but as a reader I know I might have liked a little more insight into what inspired the piece.


*Cat2* CONCLUSION:


Overall, I think you did a great job.

It was convincing, strange, and I think you did a great job executing the style that you had in mind. I was a little confused at first, but overall I think it paid off.

I'm glad to have stumbled across this piece.

All the best,


-Cat


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
111
111
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with Under Construction: MHWA  
Rated: E | (5.0)

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*AwarenessG* DISCLAIMER *AwarenessG*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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Hello,

Thank you so much for sharing this with the MHWA Review Challenge.

I can't think of a better piece to end my challenge reviews on than a piece that's just about mental health, and promoting awareness.

I think you did a great job telling your personal story and outlining your experiences with depression, while also promoting the month and helping to raise awareness. I liked how open and honest you were, and it made this difficult topic seem more approachable, which is something that I really appreciate as the reader.

I do have a couple quick suggestions:

The first is that you clean it up a little. The words were very powerful on their own, so I don't think you needed to draw attention to certain points with all capital letters. Even if you wanted to draw emphasis with formatting, I would recommend using bold or italics on those words - it makes the piece look more professional which I think could elevate this in particular to help promote more awareness.

I also think it would be a great opportunity to include some links to resources for people wanting to read more about depression or get help. An author's note at the bottom would be a great place to get information to people who are looking for it.

As for the piece itself though, you did an awesome job. Thank you so much for sharing with with the group, and I hope that you're doing well.

Sincerely,

Cat








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This review was done as part of the MHWA May Review Challenge to promote awareness about the group, and May being Mental Health Awareness Month.



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______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
112
112
Review of Gambler's Eyes  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with Under Construction: MHWA  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)

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*AwarenessG* DISCLAIMER *AwarenessG*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________



Hello! *HeartT*

It's been awhile since I've gotten the chance to review something of yours, so I was very excited to see your name come up on the item list for the MHWA Review Challenge this month.

I really liked this piece.

Being a bit of a gambler myself (well, more of a casual card-player) I was able to easily get lost in the imagery of the metaphor. That being said, one of my favorite lines was actually not related to the card games at all:

Call it what you want;
we're all the name-brand
version of wanting to die.


I don't know why exactly, but that line just struck me as being so powerful, even though it was sort of the odd man out in terms of drawing comparisons. Or maybe I liked it because it was the odd man out? Either way, fantastic job!

You shed light on a terrible issue within the system, and I think acknowledging that there are problems with how we handle things is the first step to handling them better. I hope that others read this, and that one day, things are better for the people suffering in situations like this currently.

All the best,

Cat




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This review was done as part of the MHWA May Review Challenge to promote awareness about the group, and May being Mental Health Awareness Month.



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______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
113
113
Review of The Empty  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with Under Construction: MHWA  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)

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*AwarenessG* DISCLAIMER *AwarenessG*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




Hello,

This was a very dark (and I got the impression) a very personal piece, but it was well executed and I enjoyed reading it.

I like how you personified emptiness as a sort of location, but did so in such a subtle manner. It was very effective, especially in a piece as short as this one.

There was one line in particular that really stuck out at me, on that note:

Nothing I do will ever fill the empty.

If your goal was just to explain your depression (like it says in the description for the item) then I think you did a wonderful job. That doesn't necessarily mean that people who don't struggle with depression will be able to understand exactly - because that's quite a challenge, but I think this does a great job painting the picture.

All the best,

Cat





______________________________________________________________________





This review was done as part of the MHWA May Review Challenge to promote awareness about the group, and May being Mental Health Awareness Month.



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______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
114
114
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with Under Construction: MHWA  
Rated: E | (5.0)

______________________________________________________________________



*AwarenessG* DISCLAIMER *AwarenessG*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




Hello!

Thank you for submitting this to our MHWA Review challenge. It was a very well-executed piece that illustrates what it's like living with depression and or anxiety. It was emotional, and able to put imagery to the feelings associated with these particular mental health challenges.

I also really appreciated in the item description, where you tell those people who are suffering that they're not alone. It was a nice touch, and a good way to shed some light on this issue with this dark piece of prose.

The one suggestion that I have for you is formatting based - in that it might be easier to read the piece if the font were a bit larger. Other than that, I think everything was perfect.

I hope that I get to read some more of your work soon.

Sincerely,

Cat







______________________________________________________________________





This review was done as part of the MHWA May Review Challenge to promote awareness about the group, and May being Mental Health Awareness Month.



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______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
115
115
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with Under Construction: MHWA  
Rated: E | (5.0)

______________________________________________________________________



*AwarenessG* DISCLAIMER *AwarenessG*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




Hello!

This is the last piece I saw from you on the review list, but hopefully I get to read some more of your work soon.

This piece was executed very well. It had a good meter and steady pace throughout, meaning that it was very technically proficient.

Although I didn't agree with all of the views expressed (particularly in regards to some of the ideas behind the terminology) I appreciate that this was less about commiserating, and more about seeing the string of consciousness that goes through your mind and presumably into your work.

It was very interesting in that regard, and I am glad to have read it.

Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

Sincerely,

Cat







______________________________________________________________________





This review was done as part of the MHWA May Review Challenge to promote awareness about the group, and May being Mental Health Awareness Month.



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **





______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
116
116
Review of Just Me  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with Under Construction: MHWA  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

______________________________________________________________________



*AwarenessG* DISCLAIMER *AwarenessG*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________





Hello,

This was a very poignant piece.

I don't have any suggestions for it, because I think it's very powerful as is. I can't really imagine it being changed.

There's a strong narrative element, but at no point did you sacrifice emotional impact to tell your story, and the poem is just so full of character - which I think is perfect for a poem that's about finding your voice and being accepted as yourself.

I hope that writing this made you feel better, and I hope that you get through whatever life throws your way. Poetry can be such a strong outlet and it's something you have a clear talent for.

Thank you so much for sharing this, and making sure that it got reposted.

Sincerely,

Cat






______________________________________________________________________





This review was done as part of the MHWA May Review Challenge to promote awareness about the group, and May being Mental Health Awareness Month.



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **





______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
117
117
Review of Battle Crow  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with Under Construction: MHWA  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

______________________________________________________________________



*AwarenessG* DISCLAIMER *AwarenessG*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




Hello!

I can see why you consider this one to be a work in progress, but I'm very excited with the direction that it's headed in. The form matches the narrative perfectly to give it the feel of a proper battle epic, and the high fantasy elements pulled me in right away.

I don't know a lot about poetry (or the form you're using) so the best suggestion I could make at this stage would be playing around, exchanging words, and trying to focus on the meter. The rhymes and narrative were both pretty solid, but there were a couple lines that felt like they had too many syllables squished in when you read them aloud.

I would also consider adding one more stanza - to give the impression of charging into battle. Then you still get the ambiguous end, but it feels more like there's action involved, even if we don't know who wins.

I wish you all the best with this piece, and I hope that if and when you finish working on it I get a chance to see the final product.

Thanks again for sharing it with the group!

Sincerely,

Cat







______________________________________________________________________





This review was done as part of the MHWA May Review Challenge to promote awareness about the group, and May being Mental Health Awareness Month.



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **





______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
118
118
Review of invincible?  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with Under Construction: MHWA  
Rated: E | (4.5)

______________________________________________________________________



*AwarenessG* DISCLAIMER *AwarenessG*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________



Hello again! *HeartT*

This piece, obviously, is less structured than the last one I read.

I don't think it reads as smoothly, being free form and jumping from one metaphor to the next in such a short space - but there is something undeniably appealing about the raw stream of consciousness and emotional honesty in the piece.

There were so many good fragments in here, that I really did want to read more. I only wish you had expanded more on some of these ideas - although perhaps that would be better suited to other pieces so as not to stretch this poem beyond its limits.

The line that really jumped out at me was this:

this Empress needs her Crown.


I would have loved to see more of this particular train of thought, and if you ever do decide to expand on it, I hope you'll let me know!

Overall it was an intriguing piece, and I'm looking forward to reading more of your work.

Sincerely,

Cat






______________________________________________________________________





This review was done as part of the MHWA May Review Challenge to promote awareness about the group, and May being Mental Health Awareness Month.



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **





______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
119
119
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with Under Construction: MHWA  
Rated: E | (5.0)

______________________________________________________________________



*AwarenessG* DISCLAIMER *AwarenessG*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




Hello,

Thank you for submitting this to the MHWA Review Challenge this month. I hope you don't mind me spamming you with reviews tonight, but I noticed you have a number of pieces on our list. If they're all this good, it looks like I'm in for a treat.

What I liked best about this piece was that it was cyclical. You start with a question being asked in dialogue and return to the same question being asked internally, illustrating a wide variety of feelings in between.

There was one line in particular I really liked:

Even more so now
since I removed the mask.


I thought the implications of this were just so powerful. Even though you're making progress in emotional honesty, people are asking you more and more if you're okay. It's sort of a negative reinforcement for a positive step, and I think that highlights a lot of the problems going on behind the scenes.

Thanks again for sharing this piece with us, and you'll be hearing more from me shortly.

Sincerely,

Cat



______________________________________________________________________





This review was done as part of the MHWA May Review Challenge to promote awareness about the group, and May being Mental Health Awareness Month.



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **





______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
120
120
Review of Loneliness  
Review by Cat Voleur
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

______________________________________________________________________



*AwarenessG* DISCLAIMER *AwarenessG*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




Hey again!

I'm always so excited when I see your name show up on the review list for our Monthly Challenge. You've supplied so many quality pieces for us to review - and this is no exception.

I have to say that I'm really impressed with how coherent this poem is overall, especially since it's your first attempt at the form. (My first attempts at poetic forms never come out this cleanly.) I also really liked that you were able to squeeze that internal rhyme in there right at the end, tying the piece back around to its opening line.

The only thing that I wish had come through clearer was the message of the poem being about loneliness, which I don't think I would have gotten without the title. That being said, I don't know how you could have worked much more in, considering how strict the form is.

Overall, this was another spectacular piece, and I'm glad to have read it. Thanks again for submitting to our review challenge *HeartT*

Sincerely,

Cat







______________________________________________________________________





This review was done as part of the MHWA May Review Challenge to promote awareness about the group, and May being Mental Health Awareness Month.



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **





______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
121
121
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with Under Construction: MHWA  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

______________________________________________________________________



*AwarenessG* DISCLAIMER *AwarenessG*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________



Hello!

Thanks for including this for review in our Challenge thread this month! This was a fun read, and (in a weird way) lighter than a lot of the entries that you've submitted (probably because the inclusion of the celebrity made me less inclined to take it as seriously as some of the other pieces I've read from you this month.)

I really liked that the death scene (or implied death scene rather) happens just out of the shower - which I assume was an allusion to one of the most iconic scenes in the film included in the prompt. I also like that you were able to work Psycho into the title of the piece.

Although this one was not as emotionally heavy as some of your other work, I have to admit it was one of my favorites. I had a good time reading it, and I think you did a great job responding to the prompt. It was cool to see that you made a story out of Anthony Perkins as opposed to just doing Psycho fanfiction (which is probably where my mind would have went.)

Thanks again for sharing this, and I hope I get to read more of your work soon!

Sincerely,

Cat








______________________________________________________________________





This review was done as part of the MHWA May Review Challenge to promote awareness about the group, and May being Mental Health Awareness Month.



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **





______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
122
122
Review of Mother  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with Under Construction: MHWA  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

______________________________________________________________________



*AwarenessG* DISCLAIMER *AwarenessG*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




Hello,

This is another piece where you show what you can do with a limited amount of words. There isn't a lot of exposition or narrative, you've just taken the most painful bits of the story, allowing the reader to piece it together for themselves. There's something very compelling about that in your writing, a lot of the narrative comes in at the parts you haven't said - but I still feel like you're not holding anything back when writing. It's very natural, very unique, and undeniably compelling. It always leaves me wanting more.

For that reason, especially, I'm looking forward to reading more of your writing.

All the best,

Cat



______________________________________________________________________





This review was done as part of the MHWA May Review Challenge to promote awareness about the group, and May being Mental Health Awareness Month.



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **





______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
123
123
Review of Regret and Sorrow  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with Under Construction: MHWA  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

______________________________________________________________________



*AwarenessG* DISCLAIMER *AwarenessG*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________



Thanks for submitting this piece to the MHWA Review Challenge!

This has been one of my favorites *HeartT*

I really like the abstraction of this one, the almost leaking of metaphors into reality.

But do
step over the liquid of black molasses
oozing and hovering around my feet.




The last stanza really highlighted your talent for imagery, and served as the perfect (albeit it very dark) conclusion to the piece. It hit all the right emotional tones.

The only thing that I'm not quite sure I understood was the formatting. The way that some words were spread out I felt like you were calling attention to them, but then again, I know that sometimes the auto-formatting can be a little weird for poetry, so I wasn't sure if it was intentional.

In terms of execution, the piece was flawless. Thank you so much again for sharing it!






______________________________________________________________________





This review was done as part of the MHWA May Review Challenge to promote awareness about the group, and May being Mental Health Awareness Month.



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **





______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
124
124
Review of Drops of Essence  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with Under Construction: MHWA  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

______________________________________________________________________



*AwarenessG* DISCLAIMER *AwarenessG*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




Hello!

Thank you so much for submitting this piece to our Review Challenge!

It was really interesting to learn about a new poetic form, and this might prove to be one of my favorites. I like that the rhyme scheme from the form meant that the fragments of thought didn't always rhyme with themselves, but other bits of the longer train of thought. It was a good way for the piece to be structured because it tied itself together well, but it's hard to single out a single line at any point because of how interconnects the thoughts and rhyme seem to everything else. It read smoothly, but at the same time it reflected that sort of larger, internal conflict that the piece was about.

You did such a fantastic job opening with the darker emotions behind the poem, putting imagery and words to dark thoughts:

Essence drips from my soul, as if I'm dead.


and a lot of the poem carries this tone. I think that makes the end, which ends on a more optimistic note (while still acknowledging the enormity of the fight that it will take to get there) all the more powerful.

You did a wonderful job incorporating the elements of this piece together, and I really enjoyed reading it - not to mention learning about a poetic form that I wasn't previously aware of. Thank you again for submitting it to our challenge, and I hope to read more of your work soon. *HeartT*

All the best,

Cat





______________________________________________________________________





This review was done as part of the MHWA May Review Challenge to promote awareness about the group, and May being Mental Health Awareness Month.



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **





______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
125
125
Review of The Struggle  
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with Under Construction: MHWA  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

______________________________________________________________________



*AwarenessG* DISCLAIMER *AwarenessG*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


______________________________________________________________________




Hello *HeartT*

I'm going to keep this review short and sweet, like the poem itself; I loved it.

You did a great job using imagery to convey the different sides of depression and leave an impact with the reader. You were able to, very quickly, relate, evoke sympathy, and leave the piece on a powerful, resounding note that I was very empowering for those of us in your audience also struggling with depression:

Strength answers with a dragon’s roar
I will not break


This was a beautiful, emotional poem that was executed brilliantly. Thank you so much for sharing it with us for the challenge. *HeartT*

I hope I get to read more of your work soon.

Sincerely,

Cat





______________________________________________________________________





This review was done as part of the MHWA May Review Challenge to promote awareness about the group, and May being Mental Health Awareness Month.



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **





______________________________________________________________________


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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