Firstly, the fight between the two women can be played out a little, more vicious and extreme their reactions the better. (Perhaps some mud..... just kidding)
Dreams are another thing entirely.
Over the coming weeks, jot down each dream you have and study a dream oracle.
This will help you flesh out that sequence a little.
Finally and most importantly, discard the final line beginning 'Little did he know', you don't need it.
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