I'm only going to comment on a portion of this essay because I would like you to edit it after reading my comments and send it back to me for review again. Okay?
First, I like the topic. I have been a teacher in America and Japan for 12 years, and while I (luckily) missed the No Child Left Behind policies, I have witnessed the testing system of Japan (which would make most American students crumple from stress).
You do a good job of approaching the topic, and you keep a fairly moderate, even tone throughout. It is a good short essay, with just a few small, but distracting, points.
Grammar:
1) feel our schools face ; Many are just too lazy--> feel our schools face: Many are just too lazy
2) all time-->all-time
3)time after time after time--> unnecessary repetition. Rely on content, not words, to get the point across
Wordiness:
1)Over the years in which I have been a student--> "in which I have been a student" is unnecessary given the context of the essay and what we know about your age.
2) Right now I am hoping to someday --> someday is redundant; it refers to the future, which the sentence already does
3) I have gained an ever increasing amount of respect --> doesn't have to be ever increasing. Increasing, alone, should do. However, gained implies increasing. How about just "gained respect"?
Content:
1) At the end of paragraph 1, you mention changes we must implement but do not, actually, detail the changes. You have mentioned problems, but not changes. Detail the problems, first, and then the changes you want to see implemented.
2) In paragraph 3, You say, on one hand, that teachers are making enough to live off of, and then you say it is barely enough and too little to support a family. Also, watch the comparison: Professional athletes are expected to compete for only a few years, and receive high salaries as compensation for that; teachers often work past retirement age. People will notice this logical inconsistency.
As I said, this is a good start. Make some changes and send it back to me. I will finish reviewing it then. Great writing for a high school senior, by the way. I taught university freshman composition for four years, and most of them couldn't write this well at first. You've got a head-start on them, it seems.
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