I enjoyed your poem, however the shorthand sentences left my read very choppy. It seems that if you made an attempt to go long hand your poem would be much more meaningful, and beautiful.
Its your poem and you can write it any way you want to. My review is my personal opinion.
Tomorrow is so far away, but that seems like yesterday. A confusing sentence. The hours blur in what seems a minute, I need to slow time down. As a reader these two sentences seem to confuse instead of setting the stage for the rest of your poem. Try reading the poem out loud and listening to it for the first time, as the desired reader would.
Nice poem. Jesus loved us while we were yet still sinners. Through the times of our life, good or bad he loves us and guides He knows us, for we are his sheep. Fear not he will not let us stray to far.
Good poem and subject. Reviewing a piece can be a worthy task. Some authors of poetry purposely will not use any punctuation in their writing because in their view the rules don't apply to the art of poetry. I feel that punctuation gives the reader an insight to how the writer was feeling as they were writing the poem.
Good poem a great subject to expose. Your poem was honest and the effects of Alzheimer's is painful to watch a loved one go through. I can identify as I watched my mother go through this time of confusion and suffered the loss of who my mother really was.
She was in charge of admissions and records at Cal State Hayward, California at one time. In the end she sometimes had trouble recognizing me. Thank you for sharing. Keep writing.
Good poem, well written. Your warning is clear; thank you. If we heed what good is it when countries like China pay no attention? It seems as science is pushing an agenda of its own. Do what you can, don't worry about what you can't change. Check the temps on your own, don't take the word of past vice presidents. Its up to you, there's more to life than what you hear.
Good poem. Well written. I could feel her loneliness.
In The third stanza you wrote "Her mailbox is packed as always, and bills and flyers clutter it. It seemed to me the first use of the word and was not needed. The sentence work well with just the second and.
again I enjoyed the poem very much. Keep writing.
WriterChuck
Great poem. Good rhythm and meter. A good description of the man you are looking for. Your use of brand words for his bit and bridle and of course the saddle soap demonstrates your familiarity with being around horses is all about.
I enjoyed the poem as it was well written. Keep writing.
Good poem, familiar subject. Left alone. To those left alone it is but a season, a chance to find another. I like the idea of the first and last line of the stanza wrap.
Good poem and time is a great subject to write about. The only thing I don't like to see is a lack of punctuation. Some think because they are writing a poem that it's not needed. The punctuation is not so much for the writer, but for the reader. It is a way to inject your feelings about the subject your writing about.
O well enough said it is your poem; do as you please.
Nice poem, good subject. Your piece seemed to capture the boy lost in his imaginary world complete with beautiful castles and kings. Wonderful childhood memories of the beach.
A good poem and subject. Lovely thoughts as you read the expressed art of this prose
written for someone else. A crush develops as you read on, maybe you will become the subject of the authors muse.
In spite of your haste "Ding Dong Bell" is not to bad. Nonsense and all if you spent some time with this that was so recklessly penned it might surprise you. Keep writing, somehow I sense some talent lurking.
Good poem, sad subject. Well written account of life and beyond. We are responsible for raising our families and that means time spent away from them working and all the other things in life that take up our time.
I know just how you feel as I also lost my son. Somehow those things that were important to me have lost their importance now that my son is gone. I look foreword to seeing him again when all my tears are gone and we will be reunited once again.
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