I enjoyed your poem, however the shorthand sentences left my read very choppy. It seems that if you made an attempt to go long hand your poem would be much more meaningful, and beautiful.
Its your poem and you can write it any way you want to. My review is my personal opinion.
Tomorrow is so far away, but that seems like yesterday. A confusing sentence. The hours blur in what seems a minute, I need to slow time down. As a reader these two sentences seem to confuse instead of setting the stage for the rest of your poem. Try reading the poem out loud and listening to it for the first time, as the desired reader would.
Nice poem. Jesus loved us while we were yet still sinners. Through the times of our life, good or bad he loves us and guides He knows us, for we are his sheep. Fear not he will not let us stray to far.
Good poem and subject. Reviewing a piece can be a worthy task. Some authors of poetry purposely will not use any punctuation in their writing because in their view the rules don't apply to the art of poetry. I feel that punctuation gives the reader an insight to how the writer was feeling as they were writing the poem.
great poem and subject. People forget America was established on God a gracious God. He has blessed this country far beyond all others, we have pushed God out of our schools and allowed the destruction of children as we stand knee deep in the blood of our unborn.
It is time that we fall on our knees and ask God's forgiveness.
Good poem a great subject to expose. Your poem was honest and the effects of Alzheimer's is painful to watch a loved one go through. I can identify as I watched my mother go through this time of confusion and suffered the loss of who my mother really was.
She was in charge of admissions and records at Cal State Hayward, California at one time. In the end she sometimes had trouble recognizing me. Thank you for sharing. Keep writing.
Good poem, well written. Your warning is clear; thank you. If we heed what good is it when countries like China pay no attention? It seems as science is pushing an agenda of its own. Do what you can, don't worry about what you can't change. Check the temps on your own, don't take the word of past vice presidents. Its up to you, there's more to life than what you hear.
Good poem. Well written. I could feel her loneliness.
In The third stanza you wrote "Her mailbox is packed as always, and bills and flyers clutter it. It seemed to me the first use of the word and was not needed. The sentence work well with just the second and.
again I enjoyed the poem very much. Keep writing.
WriterChuck
Great poem. Good rhythm and meter. A good description of the man you are looking for. Your use of brand words for his bit and bridle and of course the saddle soap demonstrates your familiarity with being around horses is all about.
I enjoyed the poem as it was well written. Keep writing.
Good poem, familiar subject. Left alone. To those left alone it is but a season, a chance to find another. I like the idea of the first and last line of the stanza wrap.
Good poem and time is a great subject to write about. The only thing I don't like to see is a lack of punctuation. Some think because they are writing a poem that it's not needed. The punctuation is not so much for the writer, but for the reader. It is a way to inject your feelings about the subject your writing about.
O well enough said it is your poem; do as you please.
Nice poem, good subject. Your piece seemed to capture the boy lost in his imaginary world complete with beautiful castles and kings. Wonderful childhood memories of the beach.
Good poem and great subject. Christ promises to come back for his people. He will give us a crown of life. Just one of his promises.
It looks like you were a little rushed here as I think you made a mistake in the third sentence. In the fifth sentence there seems to be a problem also. I think you would have found these mistakes if you would proof read out loud before posting your piece.
Keep writing, yourwork is important. Good job Netty.
A good poem and subject. Lovely thoughts as you read the expressed art of this prose
written for someone else. A crush develops as you read on, maybe you will become the subject of the authors muse.
In spite of your haste "Ding Dong Bell" is not to bad. Nonsense and all if you spent some time with this that was so recklessly penned it might surprise you. Keep writing, somehow I sense some talent lurking.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.54 seconds at 2:33pm on Apr 19, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
