Too funny! Now that the family has met their doom, you can have all of the candy you want. I really liked your story and realized that there was a lot of truth in your story about denial.
As I read this short read I wondered if you really thought about what you were writing. The first line "I didn't want to be my today" doesn't make sense to me as I read it. Maybe you just didn't proof read it, I don't know. I think the whole piece is somewhat incoherent.
When writing, I find that it's helpful to reread the piece a few times to see if i've made a mistake.
Your poem stricks a chord with us all, whether parent or child. When my Mother died a year ago, I knew in my heart that to her I was still her little boy. My son is still and always will be my little boy. It goes both ways.
A well written poem, to a point. You are good at leaving your readers hanging, unless of course you really took the pills and jumped. If not, why not finish the poem?
I really liked your poem. It could have been better if you took the time to use proper punctuation . There is some spelling errors also. I tend to make the same mistakes when I get into a hurry.
I enjoyed your Prose. I know there are a lot of us who don't say what they feel. Maybe for fear of upsetting someone or just starting somthing we choose not to get envolved in.
Good poem for this day time. Not all of the rich call it class warfare. Not all of the poor see Social injustice. We must educate ourselves and understand our options, we must pay more attention to those who offer us leadership.
Fifth line last word, did you mean burden? If so the explanation of the poem is you are part of the human race and condition. So start writing that story.
Chuck
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