What can I say about this story but...very well written! I have learned a lot about you as a person. By reading of the days in the military that you spent; I loved how you told of the lessons that you learned as a person and soldier. To learn to trust and honor your word to your fellow soldiers, and in doing that you all became a whole unit that no one could ever come between. I am proud of you for having the guts to good through all of that; and still come out of it a better person and so kind and loving too. I am honored to know you and blessed that you are my sister. Very well written. WRITE ON !!!
Judy, I always knew that you were smart as a tack, but to elude the drill sergeant of the contraband that you had was a thought of sheer genius! It goes to show that if you do not panic in times of stress, that you can usually come up with a plan that will help you out of any given situation. Gum no less! Ha! Now this was funny and super wonderful!!! I loved every part of this. You are certainly a great writer! Write On!
Love your sis
Cissy
On behalf of your winnings of the Grad Party game.
Dearest Jessica,
This poem has excellent rhyming. Your sentence structure is a little off and some of the words are misspelled, but believe it or not...it does not take away from the message that you were sending to the reader.
If you could tweek this a little and pull the sentence in a little here and there, this would be a perfect piece. I'm not the best at poetry writing by no means, but if I can help in any way...please email me and let me know. I am just a email away and it would be my pleasure to help you. If you need help in learning how to get around, let me know about that too okay? I am so glad to see you and excited that you joined this huge family at Writing.com. You are really going to enjoy your time here.
Be well my dear new friend, Welcome to Writing.com! Write On !
I wish you ... Peace of mind, calmness of your spirit, joy over flowing, happiness in your heart, abundance of health and strength, and Love for the rest of your days.
Be Well my family .
Love
Cissy
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I am reviewing two of your poems in your port because, you won the reviews in the " Creative Newbie's Sig. Auction. " These are only my opinions, take what you like and discard the rest.
I liked this poem, it stood out to me. Life in your eyes is a beautiful thing indeed.
I will review more however if I find that I just cannot tear myself away from your port.
I can see that your poetry has a good rhyming scheme. It has a very good flow to it until you come to the last two sentences. Because of the last two sentences being so much longer than the rest, your sentence structure that you set for this piece; it doesn't seem to fit with the rest of this very good poem.
Maybe if you worked with the last two lines? Somehow could make it shorter to fit with the rest of this piece; to give it a perfect rhythm, I believe that it would be a great work of art. Remember, this is only my opinion okay?
Well written, good meanings in the words. The part that I liked the best out of this piece was... "Life is a divine seed, to spread vegetation, not weed. Life is a mysterious path, to travel with patience, not wrath. " This is a very strong part of your poem, many will agree and connect with what you said here.
Thank you for allowing me to read your writings, you're a very good poet. Write On! Keep writing.
Cissy
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This in my opinion was ... PERFECT! The rhythm was great as was the rhyming, and the flow had a stead flow that took you along as if in a song. I saw no errors in this piece! Thank you for allowing me to read your wonderful writings. I could see the heart ache that you feel in the poem, and see that you are wanting to move on and fill the hole that was left behind from one you loved so much.
Many Blessings to you dear one. Well written! Write ON!
Cissy
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I liked this poem very much. One little suggestion though, only my opinion okay? Fourth stanza, first line, if you could shorten it somehow to fit with the rest of the sentence structure that you have going on here it would flow a lot better. Please feel free to ignore my suggestion though.
Overall, a nice poem.
Cissy
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I can see why you would say that men do not stand a chance on Valentine's Day. You are so right when it comes to relationships or marriage, men really do not have a chance with their significant
other! If you forget, then you are " the worse thing there is ", if you remember and get something lame in her eyes then it's the same, " how could you care so little !" So either way all of you men are doomed, unless.... you find a way to satisfy both you and her....hehe.... One simple rose from the corner store will get you out of the dog house, be romantic to her and everyone is happy! Loved the poem!
Cissy
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I am reviewing this on content only, I am not good at helpful reviewing in corrections of a short story.
This story was to say mildly, FANTASTIC! Wow! I really didn't see it coming that she would kill her love, Dave! Oh NO! And after he was stuck in the elevator for hours! She didn't even know that he tried to be there! Great story! WRITE ON!
Cissy
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Remember dear Wolfman, this is only my opinion. I took your poem and put it on my doc that shows errors in grammar, according to my word doc every word that you used is correct! As far as the rest of the poem, the rhythm, rhyme and flow of it was in my opinion, PERFECT! For a newbie, your sentence structure is absolutely awesome! I keep eight poems in my port of the very first that I did on here, I have not corrected them for the sole reason that they are my guide, and they show me how far I have come in my writing. Let me tell you... my sentence structure was so off and all over the page that if you look at it you really can't tell if I was writing a short story or what?! But these very kind people here on WDC saw some kind of writing ability in me that they over looked that part and encouraged me anyway. Now how cool is that?! My only advice to you as a newbie is.... really study the links that the StoryMistress and StoryMaster have put up for us to learn from... they are the real key to everything here and how to do everything too. Next, something I learned by doing instead of reading it... IF someone reviews you...as a Newbie, you may not have many GPs to give out to those who review you, the best " Thank you " that you could give them ( and you would learn at the same time too ) would be to review their writing. Not only would they appreciate it, you can pick up some very helpful tips on good writing by reviewing others writings, believe me I have.
Good story line in your poem, and I saw no errors! Great thing to remember the Veterans!
WRITE ON !
Cissy
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I liked the darkness you painted in this poem of this serial killer. A good free verse poem with a very good story to tell. I did not know of the structure of which you used except that you were try for an exclamation point image with the words? Even free verse has been known to have stanzas from all that I have read so far, but not having that stanzas do not take away from this piece the story in which you told so brilliantly! Write On!
I must label mine 'dark' instead of 'gore'.
Cissy
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Oldwarrior, I am sitting here with my mouth hanging open, not able to bring it completely shut. I am in awe of your wonderful writings! You my dear are a true Master of the Art of Poetry Writing! A real Author without a doubt! As you must know...there are NO ERRORS present that I could see, so that in itself makes this a perfect piece. I honestly loved the rhythm of this piece, because I could actually hear the Native drums beating to the rhythm to this as I read it. I am honored to know you and Blessed to have you as a friend. Thank you for aloowing me to read this beautiful piece. Excellent!
WRITE ON !
Cissy
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As you have suggested in this item, do not give false ratings. Well this is my honest rating for this item. It was precise, direct, and without error. Easy to follow and understand. It kept me interested until I finished it to the end. I had been questioning my methods of rating lately, and I knew that there was something that I remembered reading before of a title that told how to rate and comment to other Authors correctly. I have read " Comment in a box ", and then I went on to read this.
Thank you for the learning experience and for your help that you have give to us all in this item as well as others that are crucial to us all as readers and reviewers. Thank you for answering my question about rating, honest real rating. I do not claim to be a good writer. Until I reach the art of perfection in my writing, I will only consider myself okay for now, because I am learning every day of my mistakes. For now, I will just say that I do have a love for writing as most members here do have.
But personally? For me? Until I reach that stage where, what I write doesn't need correction by anyone and/or editor, I am basically a beginner at this until as you say...hone my writing skills.
Thank you for everything! WRITE ON !
Very lovely poem of Christmas! When you read this you can see the sleigh bells ringing and see the lights on the Christmas tree and I could also see the people standing in line to get into the church for the midnight mass. Well written, perfect sentence structure. Alas, I am not a good judge on rhythm or rhyme, All I know is what I like when I read it, and I really did like this! Write On!
Cissy
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Judy, if I could just reach out and give you the biggest hug that anyone has ever received, I would!
This day dear Sister, YOU have made my heart Glad! You are the one who has taught me a lesson here. I am grateful to you for this lesson. You have shown me that I really do have a purpose in this life, and that I am on the right track of my journey...to teach. I am awe struck that you have learned So much in just a short time, I am so pleased that you are understanding your own journey by what you are learning. If it were in my power to give you a higher rating than five stars, I would give you the highest ever recorded in history! Be proud of this writing, this is the most amazing writing that I have ever read in my lifetime, Ever! You have learned well dear " Ada-ta " = Cheetah.
Love and Blessings to you.
Cissy
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Rix, this was NOT a feeble attempt at writing a ' great ' story of Native American writing. This my dear was absolutely wonderful!!! Very well written, I could see the beauty of the child, the land, I could see the flowers and smell them, I could see the bird and saw the lesson that the Grandfather " Soaring Eagle " had to give to his grandson- " Yellow Feather ". I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story. It was like a breath of fresh air to me, breathed into my lungs. Wado=Thank you for allowing me to read this. You are such a great Author/Writer.
Much love
Cissy
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I'm Speechless!!!!!! Let me tell you, that is one thing very hard to do, is to make me drop my jaw...and stop for a few minutes to ponder of what to say. All I can say is...AWESOME ! FANTASTIC ! WONDERFUL ! EXCELLENT !!!!! Now dear Oldwarrior, I have run out of the words to describe your precious poem that has so much love, beauty and meaning to it and the best story line I think that I have ever read in a poem. I am honored to know of such an accomplished Author!
WRITE ON !
Cissy
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Wolfman, this is Perfect!!!!!!!!!! Two thumbs up man! You Rock! This is an excellent poem. I saw no errors, perfect sentence structure, great rhyme, and rhythm.
For a newbie, you write exceptionally well my friend. Keep up the great writing! I can't wait to see more of your writings! Send me an email when you post again okay? I'd love to read what you do next! Write On!
Your ' New ' Friend
Cissy
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I wish you all ... Peace of mind, calmness of your spirit, joy over flowing, happiness in your heart, abundance of health and strength, and Love for the rest of your days.
Be Well my family and friends here at WDC.
This my dear friend, is one lesson that I thoroughly enjoys reading! I can see why you are such a great Teacher/Professor of History. You explain it so well and make it enjoyable to read also for the reader. Thank you for the History lesson and for allowing me to read your wonderful writings.
Write On! Dear Warrior!
Cissy
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I wish you all ... Peace of mind, calmness of your spirit, joy over flowing, happiness in your heart, abundance of health and strength, and Love for the rest of your days.
Be Well my family and friends here at WDC.
Shi, you blew me away with this Acrostic poem!!!! Wow! This was sizzling! and so full of love that I could feel it! Excellent!!! Thank you so much for allowing me to read this! Write On!!!!
Cissy
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I wish you all ... Peace of mind, calmness of your spirit, joy over flowing, happiness in your heart, abundance of health and strength, and Love for the rest of your days.
Be Well my family and friends here at WDC.
Exceptional Acrostic poem Pat! Very well written and what you would think to read of Valentine's Day! Thank you for Adding this piece! I saw no errors and the letters are highlighted Perfectly!
Keep writing Dear friend and WDC sister.
Love
Cissy
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I wish you all ... Peace of mind, calmness of your spirit, joy over flowing, happiness in your heart, abundance of health and strength, and Love for the rest of your days.
Be Well my family and friends here at WDC.
I am overwhelmed at this beautiful and touching story! Oh MY!!!! What a wonderful piece of writing that I will remember to the rest of my days! It has great meaning and so true were the words of that meaning that you gave here in this writing. One would think that you were a Native American and truly did know our ways and how we believe, for it came out in this story ever so real! Do not change a thing of this story!!! Excellent! You cannot improve upon perfection. Forget the word count! It doesn't matter when you have a story as great as this! A+ Judy, this was as the young people say... Off the Chain!!! Fantastic! Well done and so well written I am so proud of you and your great writing ability. I am in awe of you. Great writing, keep writing!
Cissy
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I wish you all ... Peace of mind, calmness of your spirit, joy over flowing, happiness in your heart, abundance of health and strength, and Love for the rest of your days.
Be Well my family and friends here at WDC.
EXCELLENT ESSAY !!!!! You get a gold star for this lesson Judy! Wow! I am impressed! I can actually say that, yes indeed you did read the whole lesson, and you most certainly understood it completely. Very Well done!!!
Keep up the fantastic work Judy, you simply amaze me.
Superb!!!!! Yes, you have answered my questions in detail completely! I really do not think that anyone will even come close to having this lesson explained in detail like you have. I am so very proud of you! And to answer your question of what do you call a Cherokee? Simple, we are in Native language called= tsi-la-gi and the English word for it is Cherokee. We all of the Native Americans assumed the role among our selves of referring to each other as Native First People.
This paper that you submitted was so Great! Very well written, very informative and your thoughts adds to the writing. Thank you Rix for this excellent piece of writing!
You my dear are a Rising Star student! Great work sweetie.
Cissy
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Judy, I am sitting here with my mouth wide open, after reading your story. OMG! A truly amazing story and so well told! Such an honor you have had of being a " Godmother " to one of their children, that truly is a big honor, but I am sure that they felt just as honored that you accepted. From knowing what little I do about you I can see what they saw in you. The love that you have and give so freely to ALL mankind. That my dear sweet sister is the true Native Peoples way. You show so many of our qualities of the way we live and believe, I honestly thought that you were a Native person myself. I would have never known if I had never read this. As your Native family up there have done by adopting you as one of their own by asking you to be their child's " Godmother ", I too adopted you as my sister. So I guess now you are part Cherokee also. Very well written.
This was an amazing story. You had me spell bound completely throughout the whole story.
You are indeed a great Author, and I am honored to know you. What ever you do... Never quit writing!
You have such a wonderful talent in those hands for writing, and it was a pleasure to read some of your writings. I will return to read more later on. If these are an example, then I know that I will enjoy everything else.
I saw no errors, and this one did not need a higher rating put upon it. Keep Writing!
Always
Your friend & NAI Family
Cissy
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But these very kind people here on WDC saw some kind of writing ability in me that they over looked that part and encouraged me anyway. Now how cool is that?! 
I'm Speechless!!!!!! Let me tell you, that is one thing very hard to do, is to make me drop my jaw...and stop for a few minutes to ponder of what to say. All I can say is...AWESOME ! FANTASTIC ! WONDERFUL ! EXCELLENT !!!!! Now dear Oldwarrior, I have run out of the words to describe your precious poem that has so much love, beauty and meaning to it and the best story line I think that I have ever read in a poem. I am honored to know of such an accomplished Author!