I really like this. A crow as a harbinger of good things instead of its usual association with death and evil. It's smooth and flows nicely when reading it. I like the hyphenated descriptives of the bird, it gives the poem more continuity. A pleasure.
I liked your entry. It started kind of slow and I wasn't sure where it was going, but the ending was great. I'm not sure I get how it follows the dialogue prompt, exactly, but a good conversation nonetheless. The last few lines are the really funny. Good luck!
This is a cute 'cat diary'. I love how he inches his way onto the book and 'forbidden' table. I'm really not sure how long my cat would continue to live if it peed on me... Bravo for patience and love.
Need a question mark after last line. It looks unfinished as it is.
This is a cute 'cat diary'. I love how he inches his way onto the book and 'forbidden' table. I'm really not sure how long my cat would continue to live if it peed on me... Bravo for patience and love.
Need a question mark after last line. It looks unfinished as it is.
That's an interesting theory. I'm not sure I would agree, although I do feel that Van Gogh's work is like reality painted with a heavy handed crayon. Everything is MORE. Perhaps you may be correct, and the result is his 'overfeeling' everything, then it would follow his madness was simply the inevitable end of his frenetic overload. Something to ponder.
This is and interesting and thought-provoking article. Although it spins the reader in a bit of a circle, (necessarily so) it is a perspective I can respect and admittedly kind of like. The answer cannot readily be proved by any human reasoning, but the mere fact that humans have reasoning is reason enough... Hmm...
One typo I found:
behavior of these particles will be sown to have such a relationship shown
Plot: Bounty hunter captures bad character who then escapes and decides to turn himself in because he is basically good, but misunderstood, and makes a pact with the bounty hunter to travel to capitol together and turn himself in and give her the bounty. Seems like a video game/Nickelodeon cartoon 'Avatar'.
I didn't really enjoy reading the story as it is written now. I think it may have potential. It seems confusing, bogged down with too much explanation, jumping around, and being repetitive. You need to work on dialog especially. Look at "5 Tips & Advice On Writing Dialogue" for starters, then search out some other writing how-to advice on this site and the internet. There are some great resources out there.
The best advice of all I can give (and have been given) is to keep writing, writing, writing! Everyone starts somewhere.
I like the idea of this poem, that faith in angels is not what is needful, but the flow of the poem falls apart after the 4th line. It doesn't seem to have any structure after that.
fell safe feel
or against a demon bolder. -- consider revising, when looking at this it seems bolder would be spelled boulder at first glance, but it refers to being more bold, yes? Needs more clarity of language.
Nice descriptions of surroundings and observations.
More detail of who she is, where she's headed, or where she came from would help to 'flesh out' the character and her situation and help the reader understand feelings being hinted at. It seems like her journey is important, at least to her, but to a reader it just seems more like a bus ride by a bored woman. But I think it could be more.
This is a very informative and useful piece. Thanks for sharing it. Nice use of multiple-writer's input. I wonder myself why someone who doesn't want to be told what people think of their work would bother to post it here. I want to know! And I want honesty. Good or bad.
Awesome story!! I loved it! A touching, and funny, story of a sister's love for her brother. And a lesson in the folly of trying to fit in with the "in-crowd'and learning to see who should be worthy of friendship.
She sighed haevily. Ben was two years older, tiny typo.
This really gives me no feeling: no sadness, no hope, not even commiseration. I think the idea is a noble one, but the brevity of words doesn't give it enough power. maybe if the words themselves were more emphatic and 'poetic' -- like for instance: 'crimson' instead of 'red', plus an adjective or two would not be amiss.
Simplicity is wonderful and laudable, but it needs to convey what you want to say with emotion and power. Grip the reader in a short space.
This is a wonderful resource. Thank you for allowing me to peruse it. It shows a dedication to your poetry that is remarkable. It has taken a lot of time and effort to put this together. Well done!
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I want to know! And I want honesty. Good or bad.