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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/crissy
Review Requests: ON
396 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
Hi! *Smile* I'll be happy to tell you what I like about your item's content and what emotion it evokes in me. If I see an area or two that need attention by way of improvement, I'll make suggestions for you. I will try to word my reviews in such a way that might garner you more views for the item when seen on the public reviewing page and here, in my reviewing forum. I will always do my best to carry on the Simply Positive motto.
I'm good at...
I am particularly interested in poetry, (romantic poetry is my favorite) though I will review other item types (see below). I have a fondness for love in general, for what greater thing is there? *Heart*
Favorite Genres
Romance, Spiritual, Relationship, Humor, Emotional, Mystery, Detective, Religious
Least Favorite Genres
Fantasy, Historical, Science Fiction, Horror, Western
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Prose, Novella, Short Story
Least Favorite Item Types
Book (time is an issue)
I will not review...
I do not have the time to read a full book at present. This may change in the future. I will not review science fiction, horror or western, as those genres do not interest me and I would not be able to do them justice. I will not review anything with relation to the occult and I WILL NOT REVIEW ANYTHING HAVING TO DO WITH AGE-INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL CONTENT.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by CrisMiss
Rated: E | (5.0)
😯
Wow. Fantastic! I love the comparisons! Your very first "A mud puddle wouldn't exist... had me nodding my head in agreement thinking, 'Wow, what a wonderful metaphor for opposites, which when combined create a wonderful splashing medley of their own. Like, light and dark coming together to create His artful masterpiece in the first heaven. Or compliments and gratitude combining to create friends.
I love this piece.
Indeed, He's got the whole world in His hands.

Wonderful work, friend.
Crissy
Image For Summer '18.
2
2
Review of Dead Prose  
Review by CrisMiss
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi.

Wow, just wow.

The thing about this poem is you didn't use a lot of descriptors, but the visual aesthetics are still beautifully dancing.

It is such a sad theme, but the love in your heart surpasses that sadness and brings the piece to heights of intensity. Sad love, often referred to as being "forlorn," can impact your readers on a very personal level, especially since most of us have lost someone.

I enjoyed the layout, too, with connector words between the verses.

As far as punctuation goes, it's not used consistently. You may want to have another look and further enunciate the love story of your heart.

I enjoyed reading this prose. Thank you for inviting me in.

Can you grow from this, from here? Can you turn sadness into tribute? Can you turn pain into gratitude? I'd like to see what could come from your heart regarding the same person when looked at from an angle of the fun you had together on an adventure, or what it felt like standing still together looking at a piece of art. The reason is that you seem to know your heart, your feelings, and yourself pretty well, and you have a great command of the English language. Those are the makings of a Great Poet. And you are on your way!

Blessings to you. Keep creating masterpieces!

Crissy

Image For Summer '18.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review by CrisMiss
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Anna. G'morning. Thanks for the review request.

I thought your poem was really unique, and I love the title, which is fitting for the piece.

The subject line is meant to describe what the poem is about. You may want to change the info there to read something that will draw attention to your piece. Personally, I would choose "Is Your individuality propelled? Read on to find out how I push myself upwards." That would grab more eyes, I think.

The whole poem embodies my philosophy. I still, at 48!, have my first college dictionary from right after HS. Words are our thing!! Aside from my Bible, that and my thesaurus are my favorite books. So, when you say you look up all those words you don't know, I'm thinking 'friend.' Why? Because knowledge seems to run in clusters. If we are willing to do a little side investigating we will #Rise above, not to be haughty or arrogant, but to store those seeds away for when we need them. I do it with every word I don't know.

There is, I have to add, a lot of wordiness. I read it aloud twice, and at the end of nearly every sentence I was gasping for breath. I don't know what that readability scale takes into account, but maybe not breath-factor. 😁

Here are a couple of examples of places where you could condense your words while making the same impact:
A) 1st line:
'Being propelled is encouragement.
B) I would completely omit the line beginning "The anticipation of all this... If we tell our readers that we admire ourselves, they are not likely to admire us.
C) "newfangled version of your newer self" is a wee bit redundant and wordy. I would write: "newfangled version of yourself."

The reason I suggest not being overly flowery in your text is because Editors hate it. I don't know your intentions with your work, but if your aim is to become a published author, please take these tidbits into consideration. It's these tips from other WdC writers that helped me to publish, not a book, but 2 essays and 2 poems.

Overall, I think this is a really important factor to consider for anyone in life, so your audience is everyone. (Don't forget to keep your audience in mind when you use vocab. because words should be age-appropriate. )

Sending you positive Vibes and Light for your path. Blessings on your journey today!
Keep creating masterpieces!
Crissy

Sig for Rising Stars


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review of Snowman Tribute  
Review by CrisMiss
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hi! G'morning.

I found your item on the 'review a new member' page. Welcome to writing.com. I hope your experience here is amazing.

Please note that everything I write is meant to be helpful, and never harmful. You may use or discard any or all of my suggestions or feedback.

I took a course at a school called The Institute of Children's Literature a lot of years ago, and I did learn a few things about writing for children.

It's important to tailor your vocabulary to the age group you are targeting. Is this book one that will be read to children, or one that a young reader will undertake on his own? Think about the words that a six-year-old knows. For instance, in that age group a child will likely not understand what stumbles means, nor meaningful, albeit, or tribute.

The person reading it shouldn't have to define every word in the jacket standing in the bookstore. The child might lose interest right away. All editors will tell you they want tight, concise writing that is not wordy or weighed down with unnecessary descriptives.

I'll give you some instances where I felt an editor might give pause to the jacket copy:
Add "his" before Granddad in 1st line.
Omit "so" in the next line.
Omit line beginning "Mom had already..." as it is unnecessary.
Omit "help" after "soon."
See if you can make the line "It was quite a blizzard..." more powerful by adding more vibrant verbs. People are drawn to words that jump off the page. For me, my thesaurus is one of my top three favorite books.

I hope you have a most wonderful day, and that this somehow helped you with your assignment. Have a blessed day. *HeartV*

Crissy
5
5
Review of Crazy Faith  
Review by CrisMiss
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Excellent. I love this piece. I am radically in love with Him, but there are days I forget to put on The Armor.
Well-executed, and in logical order. Thought-provoking and sincere.
Great job!
Keep creating masterpieces!
Crissy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
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Review of Words  
Review by CrisMiss
Rated: E | (4.5)
Indeed Words are the Creators. "In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God..." John 1:1

I love the phrases you use as description in this poem. You say you're no poet but this is fine poetry, although I can't really think of how hearing "I hate you" could ever ring out without a flinch. Those aren't just words. There is extreme emotion behind them.

As Mama Joyce says, words are containers for power. We can use them to lift or to defeat.

Great poem. I especially like: "Phrases like weapons lashing at our souls..."

Very creative piece!

Have a blessed day.

Crissy
7
7
Review of wisdom  
Review by CrisMiss
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi! Long time no speakie. *Smile*

Your point is made in no subtle tones. In fact, it screams, "You fool!" For wisdom is etched into our souls as our experiences aid us in either climbing or descending the proverbial ladder of success in business and/or society.

I'm wondering about the form you have used here. It contains 17 syllables, yes, like a haiku but different. But it's a powerful message.

Thank you for sharing.

Write on!!

Crissy
8
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Review of He's Gone  
Review by CrisMiss
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi. Thank you for the review request.
So many will be able to relate to this poem. We've all been betrayed.

The mood, however, is subtle for such a hurtful thought and this reader believes the poet must be in a stable place of faith to have accomplished this peace. Lackadaisical feelings toward an ex are a definite sign of growth.

The overall tone of your piece is one of dissociation and acceptance, which in this case are excellent occurrences.

Loved the line "Suddenly a lone thought made my heart swirl."

Have a great day, and keep creating masterpieces!

Crissy
9
9
Review by CrisMiss
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Amy.

This piece was an excellent reminder that we "do life" with and for Jesus. For most people, their careers are at least 1/3 of their lives. I can't remember the stats on which percentage of the world's population is Christian, but your internet biz model has the potential to reach all those people and even the unchurched. And knowing that's the goal, seeing your passion in this piece for equality and the spreading of grace and non-judgment (acceptance), I believe your wings are already in flight - soaring above the jetstream. And if you want more guidance, from an anointed man of God, check out the book 'Soar!' by Bishop T.D. Jakes, or perhaps check out the interview Pastor Steven Furtick conducted with him on YouTube before purchasing the book.

Excellent work. Your spelling and punctuation were spot on. *ThumbsUpL* I would maybe reread the last paragraph to see if that's what you meant to say. I stumbled a little there.

Otherwise, your work reignited my faith in the human spirit. Sometimes we can get around people who are complacent and we lose sight of our dreams, vision, and goals. No matter other people, you are rising. I am taking notes.
Crissy

#IRise


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
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Review by CrisMiss
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!
I thought this was great, to highlight some very worthy causes. You mentioned so many interesting ones, I wanted to know more. Are you going to include a web link or a Wiki page for the causes, or even a GuFundMe? Think about what you want to accomplish with this piece. Think about who your audience is. Is your aim to raise awareness? Or is it to aid in garnering some donations? Is it informative? If so, you might expand just a wee bit, maybe one or two lines more for each charity.

All that aside, you have an interesting piece, and I believe it will be received well by your readers. I didn't notice any mistakes. *ThumbsUpL*

Hope you have a bright, blessed and beautiful day.

Crissy
11
11
Review by CrisMiss
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi! Good afternoon. Thank you for the review request

After reading through your story, I'm reminded of the 'Silent Sermons' that Steven Furtick recently preached. It was about telling yourself good news about yourself. You can find it on YouTube.

The grammar, punctuation, and spelling are very good! If there were mistakes, none jumped out at me. *Thumbsup*

The main character is pretty well fleshed out and believable. I was able to identify.

The storyline is more of a self-taught lesson. Seems like it should be categorized as an essay rather than a short.

Your word choices are good. Flow is good, and sentence structure and placement is logical.

The takeaway is a valuable lesson we all need to hear.

Thank you for sharing! Keep creating masterpieces!

Crissy

Image For Summer '18.
12
12
Review of Canandaigua  
Review by CrisMiss
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow!

I'm blown away by the truth in this piece! Such an enlightened perspective, and one of most importance. I wonder how one would go about getting through the eye of the needle with a bag of cash? Hmm. Food for thought for those who value their possessions. Reminds me of the story of the "rich young fool" from the Bible.

Written with excellence and wisdom, this author puts a high priority on values and character.

Thank you for the enlightenment this a.m. 🌸

Have a Blessed day!

Crissy

Sig for Rising Stars


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
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Review by CrisMiss
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!

I love this piece! I feel satisfaction and reward dripping from these words, as if this person finally got theirs.

Your diction is terrific: well-versed without being academic, and the perfect length.

I did note one wee little error you might want to correct, depending on your level of OCD. *Wink* Take another look at your paragraph beginning"Death happens when..." and see if you meant to write "they coroner."

Wonderful read for this morning. Thank you for sharing!

Crissy
Sig for Rising Stars
14
14
Review of Jesus Christ.  
Review by CrisMiss
Rated: E | (5.0)
Amen!

This is a great testimony of His love for us and and what He has accomplished on this earth in the short 3 years He was in ministry. If we call on His name, and believe in our hearts and confess with our mouths, He will never leave us.

Great work, and just as I finished watching Joyce Meyer and Steven Furtick this morning. *ThumbsUpL*

Have a wonderful day!

Crissy
Image For Summer '18.
15
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Review by CrisMiss
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi! G'morning.

This piece is excellent. I love your word choices; they bring the prose to heights of brilliance, and actually leave the reader feeling a little whimsical. Maybe it's nostalgia. "Ride on a carpet of rich imaginings..." What a superb concoction of words!

I noticed no spelling or grammatical errors. *ThumbsUpL*

Your work never ceases to inspire and light a fire under me.

Have a wonderful day.

Crissy
Image For Summer '18.
16
16
Review by CrisMiss
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Amy!

This was a great piece, with sound advice, for creating believable characters. I recommend people-watching as well. Another tool I've found for characterization is following @PsychToday on Twitter. The articles they publish tell a lot about personality types.

This is written with the perfect length and in logical order. The only tiny error I noticed was the missing "t" in your second to last line, last paragraph. (I think you meant 'it' and not 'I.'

Overall, a wonderful essay that benefits the reader/writer.

Keep creating masterpieces!

Crissy
Sig for Rising Stars
17
17
Review of Late To Love  
Review by CrisMiss
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Crow.
Oh, how I can relate to this piece. Sometimes we get so caught up in life we fail to see the light that is before us.
I think you meant to write o'er instead of ore in your 5th verse, if you were going for the poetic form of 'over.'
This was beautifully scripted with reflections of loss. Your pain is evident. Now, all that's left is learning from our mistakes and taking our knowledge forward.

God Bless you.
Keep creating masterpieces!
Crissy
Image For Summer '18.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review of Son.  
Review by CrisMiss
Rated: E | (5.0)
Amen to that.
This is a wonderful dedication to your child. It shows the pride you take in being a father and the hope you have for your son as he grows into a man.
I can really appreciate the last line, as my own son, who's 21, just told me he's going to start going to church. Woohoo.

A terrific piece indeed.

Keep creating masterpieces!

Crissy
Image For Summer '18.
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Review of Walking South.  
Review by CrisMiss
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a beautiful piece. I love the reminiscence of moments like this. Remembering these times is what gets us through the difficult days. Your wording is perfect for the topic. I enjoyed this poem very much.

Have a blessed day.

Crissy

Image For Summer '18.
20
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Review of Listen to My Eyes  
Review by CrisMiss
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
This piece is beautifully written, describing, I feel, the pain of being left behind. I love your word choices and sentence structures. The lines sort of envelope the reader and draw them in to the pain. That is what poetry is supposed to do. Excellent job at conveying those emotions. So much can be said through the eyes, and here you have captured a story. Beautiful.

Keep creating masterpieces!

Crissy
Image For Summer '18.
21
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Review of A Glimpse of You  
Review by CrisMiss
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Your love shines through in this piece. Beautifully written with a touch of forlorn hope. Your narrative at the end was helpful to understand the whole scenario. I'm so sorry you lost your love. I loved the line "Upon awakening...and soul." Great poem. Only believe and you will meet again.

Keep creating masterpieces!

Crissy
Image For Summer '18.
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Review of COMMON SENSE  
Review by CrisMiss
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, g'morning Crow.

I found this piece to be quite impactful. It wasn't weighted down with heavy statistics like many articles about this topic might be; instead, it hits the reader right where it needs to--in the head.

You know how some authors (even journalists for the news) might take an incident as aforementioned in your former half, and turn it into a punch in the heart for people. Well, this particular topic needed to be a hard head-hitter. Fresh from college, still in that party mode, one last zinger: I see it all unraveling. This article needs to be posted in every high school and college newspaper around the country, if not world.

Your words were effective and powerful. The message, THINK, came through loud and clear.

There were two spots where I saw typos, the first I now cannot find, and the second in your paragraph beginning "Not too very long ago..." the word 'frighteningly' is misspelled.

Thank you, as always, for your wisdom and your practicality.

Keep creating masterpieces!

Crissy

Image For Summer '18.
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Review of Vessel  
Review by CrisMiss
Rated: E | (5.0)
I do believe you are correct. How, then, shall an already divided country stay afloat with Lips'oLoosey living in the WH?

Well-written as always. I love your work, and hope I can find one of your books at B&N. Going to check now. Which is your favorite?
Crissy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
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Review of Jesus Praise  
Review by CrisMiss
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I love, love this contest! The theme is excellent, and any activity which glorifies The Father, Son, and/or Holy Spirit is my cup 'o tea.

Your organization is great. The rules are simply laid out, prompt is a reasonable, reachable goal and prizes are attractive.

I wish I had seen this earlier! I may try anyway.

Great job on creating a musical contest that lifts the name of Jesus. *ThumbsUpL*

Keep creating masterpieces!!

Best,
Crissy
Sig for Rising Stars
Image #2161847 over display limit. -?-
25
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Review of Mister  
Review by CrisMiss
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi! G'morning.
Thanks for the review request. After reading through your piece, I am curious. Was this the fashion in which your friends met, the ones for which you wrote it? If so, how romantic!

I see that you are kind of new here, so *Candy6* WELCOME! *Candy6* If you have any questions about how to navigate the site, please do not hesitate to ask. There are quite a lot of aspects to this wonderful place (my online home) and I am more than willing to help you around.

When you select the item types and subcategories, it's sort of important to 'call it what it is.' Here, you have selected "Adult" and "Drama." The Adult category is more for content that should not be seen by eyes under the age of 18. You know, like graphic war scenes and romance that goes beyond the bedroom door. Drama pieces tend to have scenes that build to a screaming climax, and put the reader on the edge of their seats. Think "The Silence of the Lambs" or "The Cherry Orchard." (Well, we all aspire to be good writers and hope to be that skilled some day. LOL)

As for the mechanics of your piece, I did find a typo in your 3rd verse. "He say" should read "He says..."

One more itty bitty thing. See about adding an emotional element, or an action that is affectionate, even opening a door. That is really what grabs your readers and garners you fans. When you connect your writing to the human spirit, your readers really identify with your heart and the piece. Sometimes we have to dig deep. Let me give an example of a piece I wrote that shows rather than tells. "Step-Monster "   by CrisMiss That's one of my more recent pieces, looking back to my teenage years.

This was a great read for me because I'm a little shy, and meeting people in the street is hard for me. I have no problem smiling and saying hello, but from there I wither. Thank you for opening my mind.

Be Blessed with radiance and joy! Have a wonderful day!

Crissy

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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