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Review Requests: OFF
421 Public Reviews Given
957 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Hi! *Smile* I'll be happy to tell you what I like about your item's content and what emotion it evokes in me. If I see an area or two that need attention by way of improvement, I'll make suggestions for you. I will try to word my reviews in such a way that might garner you more views for the item when seen on the public reviewing page and here, in my reviewing forum. I will always do my best to carry on the Simply Positive motto.
I'm good at...
I am particularly interested in poetry, (romantic poetry is my favorite) though I will review other item types (see below). I have a fondness for love in general, for what greater thing is there? *Heart*
Favorite Genres
Romance, Spiritual, Relationship, Humor, Emotional, Mystery, Detective, Religious
Least Favorite Genres
Fantasy, Historical, Science Fiction, Horror, Western
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Prose, Novella, Short Story
Least Favorite Item Types
Book (time is an issue)
I will not review...
I do not have the time to read a full book at present. This may change in the future. I will not review science fiction, horror or western, as those genres do not interest me and I would not be able to do them justice. I will not review anything with relation to the occult and I WILL NOT REVIEW ANYTHING HAVING TO DO WITH AGE-INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL CONTENT.
Public Reviews
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101
101
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ah, Ken. Too, too funny. *giggle*

This was written with such expertise in rhyme, rhythm ... and reason. I loved the sing-songy way your words dripped off my lips as I read this aloud. Excellent! A story/poem with a dancy flow AND a moral. I love it. Well-written and witty!

Have a super day!

Crissy
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102
102
Review of Dark Spaces  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Pat.

This piece touched me in many places, for this describes the very essence of my most recent relationship. You've captured in words the unbearable breaking point we come to when forgiveness and forgetting are what we desire, but regurgitation of our shame and sins are what we receive.

Excellent word choices here, and the flow presents a trickling, almost weeping, effect when read aloud. You've left an imprint in my mind; left me wondering 'what will happen next?' That is precisely what we, as writers, want to do ~ to create a desire in our audience to read more of our work. Great job!

I want to share this with my fb friends. May I have your permission to use the link?

Crissy
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103
103
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I REALLY like this, Cynaemon! What a wonderful description of the places of the mind and imagination. Having a place to feel comfortable amidst the horrors of everyday life is essential. We have to take time to dream, to BE just who we are without judgment. We have to have that "happy place" where we can go to escape chaos.

Keep up the great work!

Crissy
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104
104
Review of The world  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Miss Giggles!

You've written a wonder-filled piece here. What's really important, though, is that you have come to a place in your life where you need for things to make sense. This usually happens when there has been a major metamorphosis. After reading your first piece, and after receiving your response, I can see that a once comfortable entity (You) is now searching for a place in this world to find the same comfort you have come to know. The thing is, things in this world will always be new and sometimes scary, but that's when we must laugh in the face of fear. I used to go to a group where I learned that I HAVE to do things afraid. Like that song by Mayer (I think its called 'Say'). In it, the artist encourages you to "Say what you need to say." "Even if your hands are shaking, even if your heart is racing. Do it with your heart wide open." And once we have gotten out all the cobwebs, after we've said what we needed to say, so to speak, we have to be open to the inevitable changes that have taken place around us, and be ready to move into a new phase of development. And I'm no counselor. I'm just drawing on my own life experiences, what has worked for me.

This may be a good time for you to explore the Bible. I'm not trying to force religion on you by any means. But many of your questions are answered there. I would start with the chapter of John. In John 1:8, the scripture reads "This commandment is true [to love one another] in Christ and is true among you, because the darkness is disappearing and the true light is already shining." So if your light is shining, and I can see it is, then your darkness is behind you. Look to the future with an open mind and heart, and let love guide you toward your future, for the love of life, in itself, is a blessing given to us by our Almighty God.

Best,

Crissy
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105
105
Review of Why?  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey there, Miss Giggles.

I guess sometimes things seem in upheaval because they are. Sometimes it takes time to adjust. Time is either our friend or our enemy, depending on how we choose to spend it. The thing about things getting worse is ... in the end, there's usually a happy ending. We've either learned something valuable, or we've loved someone unconditionally or maybe we even learned a little of what we do not like.


I really like your list of why questions. Whether you intended it or not, you've written a story here. It tells of lost love and economic downturn. It tells the beauty of wonder and the sorrow of loss. And the ending line is written with such resolution! There's intent there. I can feel it. That felt like the intent to move on to me. I mean, I'm just a fellow writer and reader, but I can see that "why" turning into a "what if". Can't you?

Best,

Crissy

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106
106
Review of The Porch Swing  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Isn't it funny how when we're just ... still ... we can hear His intentions for us? When we take the time, to just BE with Him, it refreshes the soul. Hmmm. I think I'll write that one. Refreshment for the Soul.

Thanks for the inspiration! I love this piece! Your description put me right there in the scene. Excellent! And your last sentence/line is amazingly accurate. I always feel so much better when I read His Word. I've just been watching Joyce Meyer's womens' convention from last year. What great fun! Wish I could go this year! She's the most amazing Pastor I've ever heard.

Thanks for sharing this with me! Have a great day!

~Crissy~

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107
107
Review of Breaking the Girl  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello again.

This is interesting. I think you might put it in poetic form. (Just a thought) And if you did, it might look something like this:

Cracking
Breaking
Longing...
Needing...
Breathing
The calm distant and unreachable
Trapped...
Digging...
Digging...
"No More"...
"I'm a broken..."

I really like this. And you know what? When I first joined this site, some 4+ years ago, someone told me that when you're writing a piece, any kind of piece, you should stick with the same point of view and tense throughout the whole thing. I think if you did that here, it would make this even more poetic. i.e Your first stanza is directed toward someone else, your second inward, and the third is in third person. So, if you were to stay in second person, for instance, making the whole thing "you" and "your" the flow would be smoother. And the verb tense should also be the same. When using "ing" in one verb, using it in most or all throughout the piece (except for past tense) makes for a smoother read as well. *Smile*

The message here is very sad. I find myself identifying, once again, with your words. Thank you for this.

Crissy
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108
108
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Thank you for this list. This is an excellent reference guide with words/terms that I hadn't thought to use before in my writing. And I thought my vocabulary was extensive! This tool will definitely make for sizzling story-telling.

Thanks again.

Crissy
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109
109
Review of PLAYED FOR A FOOL  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is happening to me right now, Sherri. Ohmigosh. I love the way you wrote it in red, because it helps to enunciate the anger, the fire in your voice. Every line, every word could have come from my lips, my heart. I am identifying with a lot of your work. You are a great writer. Thank you for posting this.

Crissy
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110
110
Review of Reflected, You  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am sitting here with chills, Jake. I think that is the most beautiful poem I have ever read. My first reaction was "Oh my GOSH!" I am tearing up as I take in it's wonder. What a magnificent creation. I would not change one word, not one thing about it. Stunning!

Crissy

PS~I changed my rating to 5 *s.
111
111
Review of Reflected, You  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I thought this piece wonderful! You certainly painted a vivid picture for me! I positively love the first line...so unique...the whole first stanza, really. And I like the way this piece has a moral. Very thought-provoking and real. Great job! Write ON!

Crissy
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112
112
Review of The Journey  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Lew!

This poem really spoke to me; made me realize something very powerful about a friend I have who is enduring very troubling, stressful times right now. Last night as I listened to her speak through her tears about the many, many ordeals she's forced to encumber, my heart broke for her. It broke because I have been in this place too. I can relate to every word you wrote. Every line has it's meaning, and every meaning has a feeling. You portrayed these emotions beautifully in this piece and though it is not a happy topic on which to write, you ended it with such positivity that I was left with a smile. Goodness triumphs in the end! Yay! If this is a personal piece, I am so glad you were able to pull through and see the sunshine, feel the warmth on your face, and make a new day filled with joy.

My favorite lines: "Allowing me to once again feel/Yonder lay my burning pride"

If I didn't offer constructive criticism, then I wouldn't be doing my job as a reviewer. Really, only one thing stuck out for me and that was the use of a three line stanza for your last, whereas the rest were four. I think adding one more to that last one could further enhance the beauty of this poem.

Someone recommended I read your work, and I'm glad that I did. *Smile*

Have a terrific evening, and an even better tomorrow.

Crissy
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113
113
Review of A Robin's Song  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Oh, how wonderful I feel about the whole idea of love after reading this piece! Very touching and inspired! This is the type of love we strive to receive throughout our lives. Now I have a fair glimpse of what I'm in store for. Your poem touched me very deeply. Thank you for sharing this with me.

Crissy
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114
114
Review of Crazy Room  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there!

I saw this on the review request page and it caught my eye because I feel like I need to BE in a crazy room right now. So, good job on the title. Really got my attention.

Oh, wow. I could really identify with this poem. I know this madness. You very ably put down into words the emptying emotions associated with mental illness. I really like the language you used: shadow, conscience, scream, deafness, madness. Awesome imagery!

As far as corrections go, I did note something that you may want to have another look at.
~I think in the first verse, second line you may want to remove both commas, replacing the first with three dots and the second with a period.

I'm glad I clicked on this! Thank you for sharing this with me! Have a great day!

Crissy
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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115
115
Review of Photographs  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Lou,

Your poem made my heart weep, for I am grasping for my lifeboat as well. Just as soon as my eyes hit the last line of the second verse, my tears began to fall. You take such beautiful care with your words, and seem to touch my inner core with every poem of yours I read. You inspire me, Lou. You are truly gifted, and you have the most wonderful soul I have had the pleasure of knowing.

Thank you so much for posting this awesome piece of poetry. I did not detect a single error.

~Crissy~

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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116
116
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Harry!

Oh my! What a beautiful concept! I just love your take on this! I think now each time I hear a canine wail, I will think of the world's sin. That's the lasting impression that we, as writers, strive to leave our readers with. (preposition dangling, i know.) Your diction is wonderful in this, and I am really glad I was turned on to your work.

I must tell you that I was a bit confused by the very last line, though. It just didn't settle right with me for some reason. Perhaps a dash between "hidden" and "meaning?"

Thank you for posting! Hope you have a great night!

Crissy
117
117
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi there!

You followed the prompt well, and my emotions followed your stream of consciousness. You really drew me in, and held me with your diction till the very end. Very nice poem. I like the way you set the background info, the current scene and the character personality descriptions. When poems hold that much information, and you still can say you enjoyed it, you know its a gem.

Nicely done! Have a terrific night!

Crissy
118
118
Review of Vision  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Jon!

I thought this poem was simply wonderful! You allegorically capture the concept of the love of one person for another without once using the word "love" in the body of the poem. Well done!

I happen to be a stickler for punctuation, but putting that aside, this could be very well done without the use of any. However, you did use a period in the first stanza, so I'm thinking that if you are to begin using it, you may as well use it throughout, or not at all. I think its best to remain consistent.

I did not note any other mistakes.

Good work!

Crissy
119
119
Review of Fire in The Eyes  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Ellen!

This really sets the stage for an interesting piece. Just a hint of background info was given (the narrator is obviously frightened for his/her life.) You made me feel the character's emotions through your diction and that, as writers, is what we strive to do. Well done! I think, though, that I would omit the lines "But I had to keep going. I just had to." because the narrator did not keep going. You may change it to something like "My determination was all I had. They/it/he/she were/was coming for me." And then just before "subsided" in the second line, you may want to put "finally."

Oops! You misspelled "ground" in your first line! We certainly all have typos from time to time! *Smile*

Remember that a good story must have a beginning, a middle and an end. Here, when I thought this was just the beginning of a great story, I reread it and found that it was indeed finalized with that last clause "my consciousness slowly slipped away from my mind and body to forever rest....... If your main character dies in the beginning, there is no story. *Worry* I, personally, would like to know who, what, where, when and why. Those are the five questions we have to answer when writing a story. If those questions are not satisfied, the reader will not be satisfied. See what I mean?

I hope this helps you, and does not offend. We here at writing.com want to aid one another in becoming better writers. Please, continue to work on this, and many other pieces in the future.

Again, welcome!

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Review of Whispers  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello.

I thought this was very intriguing. It has a very mysterious feel to it. At the same time, I wish when I scrolled back up to the description section I would have found the answer to my question. You know..."Who is 'they' and what are 'they' whispering?"

The rhyme scheme was really good. I like the way you set that up.

Your word choices were excellent, and painted a very vivid picture for me. Very nice work!

I did not detect any spaggies.

Thank you for sharing! Awesome piece of poetry!

Crissy
121
121
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is reminiscent of a life I once led; one I am not proud of. I positively love the line "Fallen angels sound like angels, fool's gold looks like gold." It was so easy to put on my "actor" face and get on stage, pretending my life wasn't full of fear, strife, and sadness. We all wanted more. Fear is a paralyzer for most. I just watched a back episode from the other day of Joyce Meyer on fear. Good show.

Very good poem, here, Allen. One thing, though, that I'd like to point out is it would flow more fluently if you were to use a metering system. For instance, in your first stanza, simply by omitting the word "two" in the third line and switching out "weary" for a one-syllable word like "drained" or "tired" it would be in a perfect 7,7,7,7 meter.

One other thing. In your last stanza, did you consider making that last line a complete sentence instead of having it drift off? That could be done by omitting the word "that" in the fifth line.

I enjoyed reading this piece, Allen. Thank you.

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122
122
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
I thought this was a fantastic story! I noted no grammatical, spelling or punctuation errors. Great job!

The narrating was perfect. I really dont think you have anything to worry about. This should really catch the judge's eye. I understood perfectly on whom each action was being performed, to whom each line was directed, and to whom each comment was regarding. Very well done!

The thougts in italics were fine.

You are so gifted in that you incorporated each character's personality within his/her own statements and within the narrator's voice. Awesome!

You know, every aspect of this story is absolutely wonderful. I can't think of anything I would change! Great work!

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123
123
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Muriel !

This poem is absolutely beautiful! I just love the concept, and your words bring it together so wonderfully. Each word, so necessary and perfectly arranged, sings to me in the song of praise. Very well done! I am impressed.

Good luck in the contest!

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124
Review of Grandpas' Prayer  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello angel ! I am going to review your piece entitled "Grandpas' Prayer"   by angel . My comments are meant to aid you in becoming a better writer. That being said, some of them will be opinions. Please take them only as that. Ok? *Smile*

I thought this was soooo beautiful. I felt a forlorn, sort of longing for family as I read this piece. Your description was awesome; the scene, so real.

My favorite part: "A whisper falls from among the stars, comes with the rain." *Check4*

The only suggestion I have is for your last line. It seems there are three individual sentences there, but you have them separated by commas instead of by periods.

Great work! Thank you for tapping my emotions this afternoon!

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125
125
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Paige ! I am going to review your piece entitled "A Writer Reflects on Her Reviews"   by Paige . My comments are meant to help you become a better writer. On that note, some of them will be opinions, and please take them only as that. Ok? *Smile*

I thought this was a wonderfully effective piece; upbeat, and written with tact. We have all had those people who review us with wrath and give a poor rating to pieces of our soul. But you know what? I believe we have to be open-minded when we read these reviews. Everyone has an opinion. The key is to take what you can use and leave the rest without letting it affect your psyche, especially when it is an autobiographical piece. Sometimes we tend to attach ourselves to those types of works so tightly that its hard to be objective to our feedback.

I have received contradictory statements like the ones you describe from different people, and I ended up leaving the text just as it was because it felt right to me. Go with your instincts. Take what people say into account, but in the end, its YOUR work. You have the final say. If someone rated you poorly, put it out there more frequently for more reviews to counteract that negative rating. In the end, if YOU are proud of it, that's all that matters.

Your use of punctuation, grammar and syntax was excellent. I did not detect any errors. Great job!

Have a splendid weekend!

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