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Review Requests: OFF
421 Public Reviews Given
957 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Hi! *Smile* I'll be happy to tell you what I like about your item's content and what emotion it evokes in me. If I see an area or two that need attention by way of improvement, I'll make suggestions for you. I will try to word my reviews in such a way that might garner you more views for the item when seen on the public reviewing page and here, in my reviewing forum. I will always do my best to carry on the Simply Positive motto.
I'm good at...
I am particularly interested in poetry, (romantic poetry is my favorite) though I will review other item types (see below). I have a fondness for love in general, for what greater thing is there? *Heart*
Favorite Genres
Romance, Spiritual, Relationship, Humor, Emotional, Mystery, Detective, Religious
Least Favorite Genres
Fantasy, Historical, Science Fiction, Horror, Western
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Prose, Novella, Short Story
Least Favorite Item Types
Book (time is an issue)
I will not review...
I do not have the time to read a full book at present. This may change in the future. I will not review science fiction, horror or western, as those genres do not interest me and I would not be able to do them justice. I will not review anything with relation to the occult and I WILL NOT REVIEW ANYTHING HAVING TO DO WITH AGE-INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL CONTENT.
Public Reviews
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126
126
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautiful. I positively love the style and language you use in this. I used language similar to this in a blog to my exboyfriend. *sigh*

Wonderful. I see no room for improvement. Congrats on the award.

Crissy
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127
Review of Shoes  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow. All I can say is oh, my gosh. What a heart wrenching tale. Wonderfully written. My friend says to "paint pictures with words," and you've certainly done that here. Good luck in the contest!

~Crissy~

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128
128
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Dr M C Gupta .

Well, I do not like to read and not rate, and I do not like to rate without commenting, but this is a toughy. I had read this piece from the Australian dentist, though I cannot quite place where I saw it. Very true that America is made up of people from every nationality, race, and creed and even more so that everyone is given equal opportunity for prosperity ONCE THEY TAKE THE OATH. I do not believe in all whom enter our borders as having the same equality as natural born citizens until they become legal. No one may, in my humble opinion, call themselves an American simply because they embody the "human spirit of freedom." That is a God-given right, yes. However, there are people all over this world who believe in God, and just by doing so does not make them any more American than me using a Sony stereo makes me Japanese. I do see your point about the govt. "saving us from [destitution]." It is, my friend, a matter of choice, a matter of education and a principled standard by which to live. We can either stand in the welfare lines to partake in the tainted bread, or we can grow our own wheat. Again, I concur. The hijackers were not of Iraqi decent.

This is a positively excellent opinionated piece you have here. You have stated your case very well. I only noted two errors and they follow:
a) your paragraph beginning "And presuming..." - "And" is a conjunctive word and should not begin a sentence.
b) paragraph beginning "No, my friend..." - there is a double quotation before "embodiment"

Wonderful work.

Crissy
129
129
Review of Secret Garden  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi there Kiyasama!

This is a fantastic story! Your character development is very true-to-life. (My brother was the same way!) Background info is just enough to supply necessary facts without weighing down the story. The suspense was introduced at the perfect time. Great climax! The closing leaves the reader with something to look forward to within himself.

Great work, girl!

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130
130
Review of Carnage  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
I thought this a splendid rendition of the toll time can take. Your flow was effortless, your adjectives, nouns and verbs were used so exquisitely, and the message in this piece spoke to me loud and clear. I can't help but to think, though, that if you were to omit the last stanza, it would be even more powerful. (Just a suggestion, of course.)

No errors! Thanks for this peek into your soul. I've enjoyed reviewing your work.

~Crissy~

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131
131
Rated: E | (5.0)
I positively love this, Pat. Sometimes it hurts so much to raise a child, but the joy they bring supercedes all that is painful. Sometimes we are suffused in darkness, but children are Light, and they have an uncanny way of bringing us to a higher plane.

This was a wonderful write! I detected no spaggies.

~Crissy~

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132
132
Review of My Own Rainbow  
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a wonderful display of determination! Keep smiling hunny, cause you are the winner as long as you keep your spirits up!

The flow was good. I especially like the line about defining your own colors.

In your last line of stanza one, did you consider changing the word "it" to "life?" As it stands, there really is no clear definition of what "it" is.

Thank you for allowing me a glimpse of you!

~Crissy~

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133
Review of You Touch Me  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is a very passionate piece, just dripping with lust and electricity. The message stands loud and clear. Friends will not be the same after an encounter of this type.

You used some descriptive adjectives here: chocolate brown eyes, tender lips, sweet body. This puts the reader in the scene. Nice job!

I come away from this feeling desirous. You've conveyed the sentiment well!

Crissy

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134
134
Review of Once  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is positively beautiful, Michelle! I can appreciate the way your love is displayed in such a soul-baring manner. I really like the way this is written with the repitition of the word "once." It doesn't always work well to repeat one word throughout a poem, but you have done a fine job with it. *Smile* From beginning to end, I was captivated, awed by what was to come next. Thank you for sharing.

Crissy

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135
135
Rated: E | (4.5)
What a wonderful tribute to sitting alone and exploring all the possibilities the mind has to offer! I love the form used here, the way it sits on the page just looks good. And the rhyme scheme is wonderful. I see only one thing that can be improved upon and that is merely a preference thing when it comes to poetry: you use caps at the beginning of all of your lines when some of them fall in the middle of sentences. That's it! Otherwise, I really enjoyed this read.

Have a great night!

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Review of The Rain  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Max !

Wow! This is a very touching poem; one with much sentiment and exacting emotions. You've drawn me into your pain, and my heart goes out to you. (Based on your genres, I deducted this is a true tale.)

My fave line: So I
Step out into the rain and just stand
There as the cool crystal raindrops
Come down upon my visage.

Awesome line! In fact, you may want to use that as the title, ("Crystal Raindrops") seeing as the word "crystal" sort of reflects a jagged edge...or a sort of...painful punishment. Does that make any sense?

I did detect a number of spaggies (spelling and grammar errors). For myself, I always run a spell check before I post. In the third stanza, I'm not quite sure which words you meant to use in lines two and three. You may want to have another look at that. Do you know how to use the 'edit' feature on this site? If not, drop me a line, and I'll be happy to explain it. *Smile*

Please know that my opinions and suggestions are only that. Take what you can use and discard the rest. Okay? *Smile*

Hope you have a terrific day!

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137
137
Rated: E | (5.0)
OH! What tears you have brought to my eyes with this piece, Judy! I am filled with love and heartfelt compassion after having read this story. You are an unbelievable author, able to tug on the heartstrings in a tender and loving fashion. An awesome, inspiring work!

Keep up the great writing!

Crissy
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138
138
Review of I am who I am!  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Wow, Judy. I sit here with my mouth open because you have just written a story about me. I mean, I was not to the point of asking...wait, yes I was. Good grief. Thank you for opening my eyes to this situation from a different POV.

In your paragraph beginning "It wasn't until..." in the last sentence, you forgot to put the word "to" between "her" and "rule".

Sometimes using dialogue can help us to show what is happening rather than tell what is happening. For instance, if I took the paragraph beginning "Her ups and downs were beginning..." and added dialogue, it would look something like this:

"You're up one minute and down the next," John screamed back at her. "I can't stand it anymore! I'm on the edge of insanity!" He ran his trembling hand through his already mussy brown hair and shook his head. "We fight every day," he said in a calmer voice. "Do you know why we didn't go to the beach?," he asked her. "I'll tell you why. Because you would have lost your mind if I were around women in bathing suits! That's how insecure you are! You'd think I was lusting after all of them!"

See what I mean? Just a thought. See what you think.

Overall a very good story. Taught me to be more aware of what I'm doing.

Thanks.

Crissy
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139
139
Rated: E | (5.0)
This just brought tears to my eyes, Judy! It is a joy to see those butterflies all over. I am happy that they bring you inspiration to continue through your treatments. *Smile*

Very heartfelt letter, indeed.

Crissy
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140
140
Review of Who's Who?  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is a positively wonderful piece, Judy! Your message shines through clearly, even without revealing the moral at the end. Very nice work.

Is this geared to children? If so, you may want to choose 'childrens' as one of your genres to garner more reads. (Just a thought.)

Hope you're having a great day!

Crissy
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141
141
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
LOL, I know this all too well, Judy. I really disagree with my son's style of clothing and his haircut, but I respect who he is and that, above all else, is what matters. Excellent work here. Very insightful and wise. I detected no spaggies. Well done!

Crissy
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142
142
Review of Toddler Issues  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Judy!

My name's 💟Crissy~Hijacked and I want to say Happy Judy's Day to you!!! Hope you have a terrific day!

Wow, toddlers CAN be a pain in the buttocks if you let them! You've described some coping mechanisms in this piece sure to make any parent's (or grandparent's) life easier.

I am going to give you some tips for improvement. Mind you, some of these are grammatical, spelling, punctuation or syntax related, and some of them are personal opinions. Please, take what you want, and leave the rest. *Smile* Okay?

~There is no punctuation at the end of the first line. oops!
~Second paragraph, second line- The verb "needing" might be changed to "need" to create a stronger statement.
~Your introduction (under title), which is displayed on the static items page (and wherever you post) is a bit off-topic for the article. It's very catchy, don't get me wrong, for it did draw me in to this piece, but then the article talks of just the opposite.

That's it! Otherwise, I thought this a great article. Hope this helps, and does not offend.

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Review of Forget Him  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello PaigeAlexandria♥ !

I was drawn to your poem because of the title. It happens to be where I am right now: trying to forget him. Agh. Heartache is not pleasant. Good job at reeling your reader in. You know what I like to do? Choose my fave line from the poem to put in the description line. Sometimes that will draw even more readers.

This is such an awesome site! Don't you think? One thing I've learned from being here is to try to keep to a syllabic meter throughout the poem. 5,4,5,4 (Or however many you are using.) It makes for a very smooth transition from line to line and it can be done with relatively few word changes.

Don't let heartache keep you from experiencing the joy life has to offer. *Smile*

Have a great night!

Crissy
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144
Review of I WISH, I WISH  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

This put a huge smile on my face! Thanks for writing this for us folks who celebrate Thanksgiving! It was very thoughtful of you! *Bigsmile* Wow, just from a Google search you learned what it means to us? Did you read the history of the day, back to Indians and Pilgrims? Pretty neat stuff.

You did a great job with some tough words to find a rhyme for like Australia/regalia and blessing/guessing.

Have a terrific day today...even if you do not celebrate. Perhaps you can make it a time each year to give thanks for the blessings in your life...even if you don't have a fat, stuffed turkey with all the trimmings. *Smile*

Bye for now!

Crissy
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145
145
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wow, Jenni.

I am so sorry if this is a true tale. I have been in a similar situation, and know the pain expressed here. What you have penned has touched my heart. Beautiful poem.

Here is something that I learned in my three years on writing.com. People told me that I should have a "rhyme scheme," meaning that my lines should be metered. For example, the first line of the stanza has 10 syllables, and the second has 8, the third has 10, and the fourth has 8. You can, of course, have as many as you like, so long as the same goes for each line. I believe you can follow that by eliminating a few words here, and switching out a word there. A thesaurus is really helpful in doing this. (Just a suggestion! Please, take it only as that!)

The only other thing I see that you could maybe improve upon is to change the setting in your word processor to allow lowercase letters at the beginning of your lines. Some people just prefer the caps, and if that is the case, please disregard the foregoing.

Your punctuation and spelling is perfect.

Hope you have a wonderful day, Jenni. ***Surprise coming your way!***

Crissy
"Only justice will bring peace." -Avatar
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Review of The Search  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

I'm not sure if you want feedback on the content or the form. I'll try to do both.

There, I suppose, is nothing concrete that we can lay our hands on that gives us insight into the dimension of life past death. What I can tell you is the Bible is about learning to harvest love. Those who understand that, and who have read it and practice it's principles, see a great amount of love in their own lives because they give it so freely to others. Not to say "religion" is good, but I think a personal relationship with Jesus is vital to knowing the ultimate love. I mean, who else would build a huge cross and allow themselves to be nailed to it, in the name of saving you from your sins? Not anyone else I know. Not my BFF. Not my mother or father. Not my favorite pastor. You see, when people have a personal relationship with God, they have hope. Hope is a crucial element to survival. If we didn't have it, if we didn't pray, there would be no sense in getting up each day.

I hope that you can see my POV.

In your last line, switch the "i" and "e" in "athiest" to make it "atheist."

Thank you for the read!

Crissy
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Review of Who Am I  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Jay!

This piece really opened my eyes to the double life an officer must live. From peace to violence, and back to the peaceful setting at home. It's almost as if putting on a mask to go to work. I suppose that is what many of us do, though.

You have done a terrific job with the setting description! I could really see in my mind the steel bars and the setup of the location. Your step-by-step instruction as the character enters the building and proceeds throughout the evening is very thorough. Bravo!

I love the foreshadowing in your fourth paragraph!

I also love the strength of your character. He would have to be, in his profession, and you have set him so well.

I encourage you to try adding a bit of emotion to your main character. I was able to read and identify with his actions, but I really didn't feel anything. I must be honest or my review will not be helpful. Perhaps you could just give a couple of his thoughts while he was dealing with the inmates, or were you trying to make him unemotional because that's the way he has to be due to the job he performs? If the latter is true, maybe you could have him make a joke with his wife about having to "put on his work mask."

I hope this helps, and does not offend!

Have a great evening!

Crissy
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Review of From This Window  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Jennie!

This is a lovely mood poem. I feel so many of the character's emotions as she drifts from one moment of her life into another. You've painted a vivid image with your words. Great job!

In your second verse I think maybe there should be a transition from the child version of her into the adult. As it stands she sortof jumps from being a dreamy child to being a married woman. This could be done with relatively few words. Just a suggestion. Please take it only as that. *Smile*

I enjoyed this very much!

Crissy
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Review of I Belong  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Jennie.

This is a wonderful piece; a song of dedication to God's creation of earth's beauty and comfort. I enjoyed it very much!

There is only one thing I have to offer for improvement purposes, and it is as follows:

a) In your second verse, second line, I would omit the word "that" to make it meter correctly with the fourth line.

Otherwise, great poem!

Crissy

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b)
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Review of I, Katrina  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
OMG, I am very impressed with your talent! This piece is fantastic! Your description of a storm, through the "eye" of the storm is simply marvelous! I have lived through many a hurricane, being in Florida, and I can say that your rendition is perfect. Your carefully chosen words bring the reader in. Very nicely done!

I have no suggestions for improvement.

Have a lovely day!

Crissy
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