|Greetings Redtowrite, Thank you for inviting me to review, "Save The Last Dance". I've enjoyed reading your story, even though it's such a sad story.
Here's what I liked.
1. This sentence,” Then he tied her to the posts of her own "Princess bed" that left rope burns in her flesh." Great visual!
2. This sentence,” He inserted himself into her with force, tearing the sacred part of her that was untouched. Good play on word use.
3. This sentence,” Who would want a girl with "spoiled goods"? I feel the pain!
4. This sentence in particular," How could a beautiful miracle have come from such a vile and evil act? In my opinion this sets the tone for the body and the end for your story. Everything Grace does after this sentence is for the benefit of her daughter and Aunt. Indeed it is the sole reason for her existence. You specifically asked for recommendations for an ending. I would recommend you not be so hard on Grace. For example, why not have the young soldier, with steely blue eyes; rescue her from the fallen debris? Then you could create a romance, end the war and live happily ever after.
Here's what threw me off.
1. Consider editing,"...Preston's parents home." Should be "parent's".
2. This sentence is a fragment,” When a man forces himself on her by holding her down. Consider revising to,” He forced himself upon her by holding her down."
3. Capitalize the word "bed" when writing "Princess Bed".
4. Consider editing,"...those kind of dreams." the word "kind" should be "kinds".
5. Spelling error with the word, "ocurred". Should be "occurred"
6. Spelling error with the word, "flirtatous". Should be, "flirtatious".
7. Spelling error in the sentence.” She woud not let them damage her little soul..." the word "woud" Should be "would".
8. Consider revising these two sentences into one sentence,” What if her Aunt fell or even worse. Would Julie, the sitter, panic?" to ","What if her Aunt fell, or even worse, would Julie panic?"
I hope this helps you out.
Best wishes, croaton.