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Review Requests: OFF
197 Public Reviews Given
197 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to go as in-depth as I possibly can in my reviews, and I am forever tweaking my style.
I'm good at...
I'm definitely good at spotting grammar, usage, and spelling issues. But I am also very good at giving constructive criticism and not just criticism. I like to point out all the things that are good about an item, while also giving advice on how to improve it.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, Supernatural, Horror
Least Favorite Genres
Non-Fiction, Technology, War
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Short Stories, Flash Fiction
Least Favorite Item Types
Essays, Articles
I will not review...
Erotica
Public Reviews
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26
26
Review by Angela Death
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I found your poem on [insert where you found the story (review request, plug page, random read, etc.)]. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*BurstG* Title: Love the title. It works very well with this poem.


*Check2* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: Very good. I could definitely feel the helplessness of those last moments.


*Check2* Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable): I enjoyed the format of this poem.


*Check2* Artistic Voice and Imagery: Excellent!


*Check2* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: Perfect!


*Check2* Suggestions: None. I really like it the way it is.


*BurstG* Favorite Line: "When death comes knocking."



Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
27
27
Review of wooden floor  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found your poem on [insert where you found the story (review request, plug page, random read, etc.)]. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*BurstG* Title: I like it. It works.


*Check2* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: Very powerful!


*Check2* Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable): I have no issue.


*Check2* Artistic Voice and Imagery: Excellent artistic voice!


*CheckB* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: Two issues, which I am sure are only typos: "apon" should be "upon" in the second line and there shouldn't be a period after "less" in the seventh line.


*CheckB* Suggestions: Fix the typos and you have an excellent poem!



Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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28
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on [insert where you found the story (review request, plug page, random read, etc.)]. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

*BurstG* Title: Absolutely love the title!


*Check2* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: Excellent! I'm Irish (last name is O'Neal), so I really love this poem!


*Check2* Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable): I enjoyed the form of this poem!


*Check2* Artistic Voice and Imagery: Perfect, absolutely no complaints.


*Check2* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: Couldn't find anything wrong with this.


*Check2* Suggestions: None. It's perfect! Do not change a thing!


*BurstG* Favorite Line: "A man's soul bound tight, An Emerald Isle bathed in light, A tale woven in myths and legends inspire all on St. Paddy's Day."



Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
29
29
Review by Angela Death
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I found your poem on [insert where you found the story (review request, plug page, random read, etc.)]. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

*Check2* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: Very well written. I don't necessarily agree that "Good will one day subdue the darkness with light", but I would like to believe that it will.


*Check2* Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable): Excellent form!


*Check2* Artistic Voice and Imagery: No problem here.


*Check2* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: Excellent!


*CheckB* Suggestions: Perhaps come up with a more creative title, but otherwise I have no suggestions to improve an excellent poem!


*BurstG* Favorite Line: "Yet Mankind knows such evil cannot be right."


*BurstB* Title: Would like to see a little more creativity here.


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Sleepless  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
I found your story on Random Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

*CheckR* Title: I don't think that the title truly fits the story. Obviously, they weren't sleepless when they both "slept" at the end.


*Check2* Overall Impression: I really liked this "story". It was very sad.


*CheckR* Plot: I put "story" in quotes, because this lacked a plot, therefore can't really be considered a story. It's more like a scene from a story. A quite excellent scene, mind you, but still just a scene.


*Check2* Style and Voice: I have no issues here. Your style and voice is quite excellent.


*Check2* Scene/Setting: You sent the scene marvelously.


*Check2* Characters: I loved the characters, though they really could use names, but not necessary if this is just a scene of a larger story.


*Check2* Dialog: The one-sided dialog works here. I liked it.


*Check2* Grammar and Mechanics: Only one tiny little flaw: It should read "an oasis of serenity". I'm sure this was just a typo, though.


*Check2* Suggestions: Fix the issues listed above and this scene would be perfect! I'd enjoy reading the full story if you ever write it. :)


*RibbonB* Favorite Line: "If it hadn't been for the blood that pooled around them, one would think they were sleeping."


Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
31
31
Review of Echoed cold  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (4.0)
Lips starts tremble Lips start to tremble
Water resides Water recedes
Masculinity aside, tears flow from his eyes.
Deepest emotions rush,
Wiped to the side.
Fears of regret, stories untold
heart pumps no blood
Shells hollowed, echoe cold. Shells hollowed, echo cold.
Lowered the casket,
recited goodbyes
Cancer took more, then one father's life. Cancer took more, than one father's life.
Time will go on, love is for sure.
Life walks in balance
On a double egde sword. On a double-edged sword


I hope you don't mind, but I included a few changes in bold above just for grammar's sake.

I really enjoyed this poem. You have good imagery and I could definitely feel the pain of loss in this poem.

Keep writing! You are doing an excellent job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
32
32
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (3.0)
A few suggestions for this one:

Let me start by saying that I very much enjoyed reading the content. You are on your way to becoming a very good writer. That being said, there are a few things that need fixing.

First, please check your punctuation, spelling and grammar. There were just far too many issues with this for me to list them all. A simple trick is to read it aloud. If it doesn't sound right, fix it.

Next, you have such a strong build up about all the online shopping, but the conclusion felt flat. How much money were you spending? Were you maxing out credit cards? Were you getting behind on payments? Was your closet overflowing with new clothes and shoes? Did any of them still have the price tags on? If you give us more details, the conclusion will be more exciting.

All this being said, I really enjoyed your story. I look forward to reading an edited version.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
33
33
Review of Tears like rain  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (4.0)
I'm going to do something I normally don't do with this poem. I'm going to reprint the poem here with the changes that I would make to correct the typing and grammatical errors. I hope you don't mind.

There's so much i need to say.
Throwing stones,
Across the river near the bay.
Like that day,
You saw me kicking
Through the autumn leaves,
Sitting in the corner
With tear stained sleeves.
For you I've been waiting all my life.
What's gone wrong?
I'm losing control.
A gentle kiss
Tugs at my soul.
Time passes.
Friends see me vanish
Down that lonely lane.
Why do all my tears
Run like rain?

With these basic changes I believe this would be an excellent poem. I even love the title. Keep up the good work!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
34
34
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (4.0)
I found your poem in your portfolio. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

*Check2* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: Very well done. I loved the concept. Taking words from a puzzle book was an excellent idea. Us writers like to find new ways to find inspiration. I may just steal this idea from you at some point! *Wink*


*CheckB* Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable): I have no issue with your form or anything of that nature, with the exception of the last line. I believe you should split it into two lines in order to keep the format consistent.


*Check2* Artistic Voice and Imagery: Excellent imagery! I could definitely see this shop with all its wares.


*CheckR* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: This is where I believe most of the work needs to be done on this poem. I'm not sure if you did it intentionally or not, but the words "brass's", "Glass's" and "dress's" should be "brasses", "Glasses" and "dresses". Apostrophes indicate possession, so I don't believe this was your intention. Also, between your first and second paragraphs there is a period. I'm certain that this was just a typo.


*Check2* Suggestions: If you correct the issues above, I believe that you have a wonderful poem! Keep up the great work!


*BurstG* Title: Very well suited for your poem. I like it!


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
35
35
Review of Words  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem in your portfolio. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

*Check2* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: Your poem made me feel the desperation of a writer trying to get words onto a page. Excellent job!


*Check2* Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable): I have absolutely no issue here. You did a phenomenal job!


*Check2* Artistic Voice and Imagery: Very well done! I could feel the frustration very well.


*Check2* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: Superb! Absolutely no issue with grammar or spelling.


*Check2* Suggestions: None. Just keep writing! I look forward to reading the rest of your portfolio. :)


*ThumbsUpL* Favorite Line: From mind to pen what a fight


*BurstG* Title: Good title for this poem. Very fitting!


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
36
36
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found your poem on review request. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

*Check2* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: Excellent poem, I could definitely feel the suffering and pride of accomplishment.


*CheckO* } Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable): The only criticism here is that you should go ahead and capitalize your sentences if you are going to use punctuation. I know that not every writer will agree with me here, it's more a personal preference of consistency with me.


*Check2* Artistic Voice and Imagery: Beautiful artistry and imagery with this one. This is definitely where your talent lies.


*Check2* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: Once again, just the capitalization. everything else seems to work well here.


*Check2* Suggestions: Keep writing! I look forward to reading more from you!


*BalloonP* Favorite Line: "withered soul unfringed demons conquered smirk turned grin"


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
37
37
Review of The Forgotten One  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I found your poem on random read. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

*Check2* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: This poem was very sad. I longed to hold the little boy.


*Check2* Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: You did an excellent job with the format and rhyme and meter of this poem. It flowed very well.


*Check2* Artistic Voice and Imagery: I could definitely see this little boy being rejected by his parents and loved by the doctors and nurses.


*Check2* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: The only critique I would have here is that if you are going to use commas, you might consider using other punctuation as well, but I don't feel that this is a major issue.


*Check2* Suggestions: I loved the poem in its entirety and don't feel you should really change a thing. I absolutely loved it. Keep writing!


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
38
38
Review of Army Men  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (4.0)
My father was an Army man and I could picture him in his uniform as I read this.
The flow of the poem was quite good.
I wonder, though, if the Army recruiter managed to hook you though.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
39
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Review of Atone  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This poem is amazing! I love how you begin the next line with the last word from the previous line. Excellent job and very ambitious! I don't think I could have done such an amazing job with it. My favorite part: "Groan out loud in pain, I’m on my own.
Own up to my sins; for them, I atone."
40
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Review of WeedLand  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very cute poem! I liked the honor in it. I too would grow weeds. Mostly because I am too lazy to grow anything else. :)
41
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Review of Five Golden Rings  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really enjoyed this story. It didn't exactly take the direction I was necessarily expecting, but it was lovely all the same. I like it when stories surprise me in the end. I was a little confused as to what a baby ring, a dentist ring and a Ring of Power was, though. A little explanation as to what these are would be helpful to the story. As a mother, I definitely could relate to the hectic schedule of a mother. I felt for her the entire time I was reading this. Excellent job!
42
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Review of Caramel Pears  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (5.0)
How dare you! You made me cry! It's too early in the season for crying. Such a touching story. Excellent job with the writing prompt. Tough competition for me.
43
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Review of The Weather King  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem was so cute! I loved every word. I didn't't read the description first, so it was actually a surprise to me who the poem was about, which added to the fun. You might consider removing the description for that reason. Excellent job. Love the title!
44
44
Review of Summer Solstice  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really like this poem. It makes me long for summer. My favorite line is "the landscape of human evolution". Very well written. The flow and measure was excellent. The title was a bit obvious but well-suited to the poem. I look forward to reading more.
45
45
Review of Obscure Demur  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really like this poem! I like the measure and the way it flows. You did an excellent job with the design of it. It's actually pretty to look at. I can't think of anything that I would change about it. I look forward to reading more from you. Excellent!
46
46
Review of Nine Months  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent poem! It gives a fairly accurate description of what a typical pregnancy is like. Unfortunately for me, that isn't what mine turned out to be like. After having my twins I made a firm decision that I would NEVER go through it again. I love your poem. Very well written.
47
47
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a truly beautiful poem. I love the line "An angel's sent from time to time, And I'm so proud to call you mine." I wasn't overly impressed with the title. So many poems have the same title and it doesn't really reflect the creativity that the poem clearly displays. I very much enjoyed reading this poem from you and look forward to reading many more.
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Review of Pet Party  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
That's just awesome. As I was reading, I was getting anxious to learn what pet she had chosen. I loved the twist at the end. I was so focused on the pet that it didn't occur to me that the owner wasn't human. Great job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
49
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Review of Serenity  
Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a truly beautiful poem. I could almost hear and feel the water splashing against the boat. You did an excellent job with the visualizations in this poem. My favorite line "born not of absence of signal but the proof of life". I found that to be the most poetic line in the poem full of poetic lines. I look forward to reading more.
50
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Review by Angela Death
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is excellent! It made me want to cry as it broke my heart. My favorite line "Barricaded to protect it from pain". Do you still feel this way? Because it might have been a necessity at the time, but sometimes pain can bring you to love again.
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