Hi again Kanishka Sanyukt I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.
Clarity:Even though the title is interesting it still could better describe the contents of this tale.
Writing style:Modern romance drama.
Are all 3 genres listed?Yes by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.
Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A fair structure. Consider breaking down the longer paragraphs into shorter ones and possibly a larger font. This will make it easier for the reader and more appealing to a browser or a would be reader.
Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?Yes.
My favorite line:---The music that we listen to is different; the films and TV series that we grew up with are different; we both speak the same language, but our accents are different. Even the phrases and the words we use are different.---
My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A well written romance style drama. Good descriptions with a realistic tone make it easy for the reader to relate with this tale.
Kanishka Sanyukt thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.
Suggestions:Consider opening with ' You were staring fixedly at me. Our eyes met, and I immediately looked away as if I had seen something repulsive.' This seems like a stronger opening line that should grab the readers attention.
Consider a good edit to breakdown the longer paragraphs. This will make it easier for the reader and more inviting for a browser or would be reader. Avoid starting sentences with 'and' or 'but'.
Hi Kanishka Sanyukt I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.
Clarity: The title could better describe the contents of this tale.
Writing style:Modern folktale drama.
Are all 3 genres listed?Only one is listed, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.
Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A good structure that is easy for the reader.
Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?Yes the dialog is appropriate for its speaker.
My favorite line:---“A peacock never hides its feathers.”---
My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: An interesting work with a good twist at the end. This seems like a good work that could be incorporated in future stories, however as a stand alone it seems too vague.
Kanishka Sanyukt thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.
Suggestions:Consider expanding with a better title, a stronger opening line and more details.
Hi momorabo I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.
Are all 3 genres listed?Only one, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.
Is the structure and format easy for the reader? Nicely structured.
Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?The dialog is realistic.
My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:Great descriptions that describe the tale and slowly carry you into the story.
The opening is a bit confusing for me. It seems to start in the middle of an existing chapter. Well described in a diary entry fashion with realistic details however no real excitement. Finally a little excitement at the end.
momorabo thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.
Suggestions: In this modern day fast-paced world the modern reader seems to like things quick and to the point. Consider experimenting with an edit focusing on readers with short attention spans.
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A delightful five line poem that in a few words gives a great description of autumn.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of the mountains in autumn painted with a rainbow of all colors from the beautiful leaves preparing to fall.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems that I could see.
SPACE COBWEBS thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!
Hi Seuzz I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.
Are all 3 genres listed?Yes, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.
Is the structure and format easy for the reader?Nicely structured making it easy for the reader.
Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?Yes the dialog does seem appropriate for its speaker.
My favorite line:--- He crept anon in the sultry nights over the lawns of Montremont, spying at the now decayed mansion and imagining the cotillions in its days of antebellum glory, and imagining himself in attendance; imagining himself, indeed, as their host.---
My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A strong opening that begins to draw the reader into this tale. A well described storyline that keeps the readers attention.
Seems like a great entry for the weird tales contest.
Seuzz thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.
Suggestions: Consider a good edit trying to eliminate starting sentences with and or but.
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: A strong free verse poem that ask questions that get the reader's mind thinking.
A random rhyming scheme that adds to the serious flow of this work.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: The image of a futuristic world where the past chains of society have been broken and mothers are in total control. A pleasant peaceful world where everyone is happy.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I see no problems with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this strong and entertaining poem.
Hi Rojodi I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.
Are all 3 genres listed?Only one given, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.
Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A good structure that is easy for the reader.
Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?The dialog is appropriate for it's speaker.
My favorite line:---It had a cat face, or an artist on LSD would believe was a cat. No whiskers, but there were feline features.---
My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A good opening that slowly carries the reader into this suspenseful tale. Written in a realistic tone that makes it easy for the reader to relate with the characters while pulling him deeper into this Halloween tale.
Well structured in a realistic timely fashion with good descriptions that paint the scenes helping the reader visualize this tale.
Harry is a nice touch, keeping the story real before unleashing the gargoyles'.
A good ending that leaves room for the reader's mind to keep guessing.
Rojodithank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.
Hi Rainy Day Sox I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.
Are all 3 genres listed? Yes, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.
Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A wonderful structure that does make it easy for the reader.
Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?Yes.
My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A nice opening for this descriptive baby parenting story. Short and straight to the point. A nice happy ending that lets the reader feel the emotion.
Seems to meet all the prompt requirements well.
{c:magentaRainy Day Sox}thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A free verse style for this descriptive coming of age work.
Well described stanzas' that indeed brings back many memories of coming to age.
The great thing about poetry is there is really no rules. This allows us to be as original we want with grammar, punctuation and structure. I am old school and the nonuse of capital letters is hard to get used to.
That gives an appearance of a first draft instead of a finished work.
Great potential for this work. This is only one opinion. Consider a good edit trying to balance the structure more in order to give an over-all rhythmic flow.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: The image of friends coming of age and dealing with new out of control urges. Exploring relationships and sexuality to prepare for their new role in life as adults.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems that I see however the omission of capital letters is a bit confusing.
Rick Fix thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A well written poem describing a rainy day. Nice rhyming scheme that contributes to the overall charming flow.
Eight line poems sound so simple until I attempt to write one, then next thing you know I find myself trying to condense dozens of lines into 8. However the end result is always satisfying. You have done a wonderful job expressing this rainy day.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of an old farmhouse on a rainy day. The dogs are laying on the porch sad because they can't take their humans for a walk because of the rainy weather.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:No problems that I see in this delightful poem.
Spiritual Dawning thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!
Hi Geirr I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.
Are all 3 genres listed?Onley one is listed, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.
Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A nice structure, however the lines appear a little crowded and could benefit from more line-spacing.
Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker? Good job with the dialog.
My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:Well told entertaining story. This tale reads more like a first draft that ends in the middle. A good work that can definitely be incorporated into longer stories.
Geirr thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.
Suggestions: There are some words that are bold, like for a prompt. A bit confusing since no prompt is shown. A good proof read and edit never hurts.
Hi again Jacky I came across this story while random reviewing for Summer 2025 Superpowers raid.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.
Are all 3 genres listed?Only one listed, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.
Is the structure and format easy for the reader? Nicely structured tale that is easy for the reader.
Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker? The dialog is appropriate for its speaker.
My favorite lines: ---As I sat, computer in my lap, wishing I knew how to use a computer better… the cat meowing over and over was making me crazy. I was already irritated, as I always am using the computer, Ting was pushing the small remainder of my patience.---
My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: Cats are indeed lovable pets that can take over the household in an instant. People think that they train the pets however the reality of the big picture indicates that the pets train us.
A well written and entertaining pet story that makes it's point well in a few words. I really like the last line and think that is actually my favorite.
Jacky thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.
Suggestions: I really have no suggestions for this entertaining cat tale.
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A well written delightful poem that carries a nice tone. Seems to do an excellent job meeting the prompt requirements.
A cheerful picture of Noah and Titus has been engraved in my mind. They certainly did have a time.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of two boys on a zoological adventure. There they admire many of nature's finest including lions, monkeys, elephants and Penguins.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:No problems that I see.
Lonewolf thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!
Hi zehn I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.
Are all 3 genres listed?Only one is listed, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.
Is the structure and format easy for the reader? Nicely structured making it easy for the reader.
My favorite line:---A silence so heavy it drowned the world. Fires refused to burn. Winds froze midflight. Even the gods turned their eyes away.---
My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: A good strong opening that catches the reader's attention, making them want to know more.
Indeed this outline sounds as if it could lead to a great mythological world. Consider experimenting with making this even stronger to catch the full attention of browsers and persuade them to want to the page.
Zehn thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: A deep and emotional free verse form poem where the author questions past choices made in child rearing. This work carries a consistent realistic tone throughout. I feel most people will be able to relate with this poem.
Human nature is a mysterious thing. Indeed there are people that it would seem you just cannot help, the more you try only seems to make it worse. We really never know what's going on in another person's mind without walking in their shoes.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a parent questioning their past decisions concerning raising a child. Finally accepting what has been done is done. Concluding it is time to leave the past behind us and move on to the future.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems with the grammar, spelling or mechanics of this deep work that has got this reader's mind spinning.
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: A unique and original lady is portrayed from this short yet well described to work.
Great descriptions I am quite sure I have met Kate several times.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of an elderly lady in a white raincoat who appears very poor yet sleeps on a mattress packed full of wealth.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this entertaining work. However I would consider experimenting with no punctuation for this deep poetic work.
Mary Ann MCPhedran thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: I know for a fact that writer's cramp contest with a 24 hour time limit can most often turn into a race with time. The deadline is getting close and even though we're not happy with our work we quickly try to meet the requirements and send it, so we can call it finished. Sounds so easy yet time catches up too quick.
This seems like one of the more complicated prompts although I think you met the prompt words well. It appears that the time started catching up causing a bit of a rush to finish making the finished product look a bit more like a rough draft. Personally I have quite a collection of these unsubmitted works that time caught up and I was not happy. Therefore going into file 13 where I'll finish when I get time [probably never] yet work and ideas that will be subconsciously possibly used in the future.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a modern writer trying to cram the contents of a unfinished masterpiece into the last hour of a contest deadline.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problem at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this entertaining work.
JCosmos thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A unique form with repeating lines that focuses on the deep meaning of being. A random rhyming pattern that adds to the poetic tone.
The unique flow although a bit repetitive still leaves the reader much to dive into, leaving his mind working on the deep meaning of being.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of the ancient land of Greece where a young philosopher begins their quest by questioning the meaning of being and drafting it on paper.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I see no problems with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this deep work.
Noisy Wren thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A strong spiritual poem written in free verse form focusing on the wonders of God's creations. Being blessed with the ability to praise God for allowing us this privilege is certainly something all of us should take advantage of at all times.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a young profit admiring the beauties of creation while acknowledging the blessings they're receiving from a higher power.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this powerful and delightful work.
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: An interesting romance poem focusing on the positive inspirational outlook.
Written in the style of a romance poem to the one that got away.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a relationship ended by uncontrollable circumstances. One writes a desperate attempt to rekindle that flame.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this entertaining work.
Prem Junior thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: A strong spiritual poem. Short sweet and straight to the point, in a few words this poem says a whole lot. Well done.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of an ancient prophet praying to the God almighty. They began with what can I say you know it all already Lord God almighty.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems that I can find with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this delightful poem.
ridinghood-p.boutilier thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!
Hi again JCosmos I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.
Are all 3 genres listed?Yes by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.
Is the structure and format easy for the reader? An awesome structure that does indeed make it easy for the reader.
Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker? The dialog is appropriate for its speaker.
My favorite line:--- His lawyer tried to explain the circumstances. .
“it was a simple typo. These things happen particularly on breaking news stories.”---
My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A great well written historical article.
The opening could be stronger to grab the reader's attention better.
A wonderful structure with good historical elements that make this a great read.
JCosmos thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.
Hi Ju-Ju I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.
Are all 3 genres listed?No, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.
Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A good format however a bit more line spacing as well as breaking down the longer paragraph into shorter ones would make it easier on the reader.
Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?The dialog does seem to be appropriate for its speaker.
My favorite line:---That was until I was knocked out. Then, my life depended on the gods being in my favor.---
My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A good informational opening. Stronger opening lines would better grab the readers attention. Possibly the second paragraph that starts out "Let the men fight, Misery!" would seem like a stronger opening.
Great descriptions of both characters and settings, this helps to pull the reader into the story.
I love ancient mythology and this does seem like a great start for a wonderful no novel.
A good mysterious ending that makes the reader want to turn the page and read more.
Ju-Ju thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.
Suggestions:Consider breaking down the longer paragraphs with a blank line between them. This makes it appear more inviting as well as easier for the reader.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.37 seconds at 6:26am on May 23, 2025 via server WEBX2.