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Review of Unholy Obsession  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
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Hi Don Two I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.


My impressions of the poem: "Unholy ObsessionOpen in new Window. by Don Two

shared review image

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:Obsessive compulsive disorder, that might just be a part of my problem.
'Allowing bulldog to hold on tight.' Many powerful lines in this deep 'matter of the mind' poem.


Artistic Voice and Imagery:I see the image of someone who is easily pulled in to everyday task yet has a hard time ending that task. An obsessive compulsive disorder or OCD, excessive thoughts that lead to repetitive behaviors.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems that I could find with the spelling grammar or mechanics of this deep work.

Don Two thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!


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Review of The Fiddler  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi David Levins I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"The FiddlerOpen in new Window. by David Levins

Clarity:A good title that piques my interest.

Writing style:Folklore fiction drama.

shared review image

Are all 3 genres listed?Only one is listed, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?Nice structure that makes it easy for the reader as well as inviting for a browser or potential reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?The dialog does seem appropriate for its speaker.

My favorite line:--- However, after ten years, his violin felt less like an extension of his soul and more like a cog in a well-oiled machine.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: A nice opening that gives a good description of Tommy. Nice description of Savannah that helps the reader visualize it.

An easy paced entertaining tale about Tommy the fiddler. I like that he turned his violin into a fiddle to play music for everyday people. A good ending that starts his journey all over.


David Levins thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:A good edit never hurts consider a stronger opening line to better grab the reader's attention and possibly adding more action. Keep in mind that today's modern reader has a short attention span thus likes things short and straight to the point.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi danielbird I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.


My impressions of the poem: "The breathless hearts descent Open in new Window. by danielbird

shared review image

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A delightful and entertaining romance poem with a nice rhyming pattern that express a strong sense of romance.

This poem carries a deep catchy flow.


Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of two souls that have fell in love however they are from different family backgrounds that make it nearly impossible for them to commit to a life together.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I see no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this powerful love poem.

danielbird thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!


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Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi again Jeffhans I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"The Delta Threshold Open in new Window. by Jeffhans

Clarity:A good title that intrigues my curiosity.

Writing style:Folklore adventure drama.

Image #2337040 over display limit. -?-

Are all 3 genres listed?*Smile* Indeed by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?*Smile* A nice inviting structure that makes it easy for the reader

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?*Smile*

My favorite line:---then she found it: a scanned page from a 19th-century ethnographer’s journal, buried in an academic archive. A tribal elder, speaking of a disaster—a flood, a fire, something that drove his people underground. They’d survived, he said, because the Ant-Eyed People took them in.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A good opening that introduces Mira with good descriptions that help to understand her world.
Well described settings that paint a picture of the story-line while introducing the mystery that Mira is unraveling.

A entertaining folktale. Nice ending 'some truths were better left buried'.


Jeffhansthank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:Consider adding a bit of dialog as the modern readers seem to expect.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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Review of Designs  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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Hi again JACE I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.


My impressions of the poem: "DesignsOpen in new Window. by JACE

Image #2337040 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:Great information and example of a Sedoka poem. A well worded poem that gives a glimpse of our darker side. Two three line katauta addressing the same subject from different perspectives. 'Sharks, trolling waters --- rebellious souls lead to pain.'

In these modern times it seems that poetic exploration is becoming a lost art that is found less with each turn of the hands of time.


Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:Well done.

JACE thank you for sharing this poetic lesson.
Write On!


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Review of My sweet Marilyn  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Jocie I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.


My impressions of the poem: "My sweet MarilynOpen in new Window. by Jocie

Image #2337040 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: A free verse poem written in an original style focusing on Marilyn Monroe.

Indeed Marilyn Monroe was one of those icons that died young leaving a legend for the ages to debate about. Always remembered and preserved at that young age.


Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of movie star rising to the top of her craft. Becoming so popular and untouchable that no one could see or hear her cries for help. Dying young with a legacy that gave the ages more to talk about.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I see no problems with the grammar spelling on mechanics of this entertaining poem.

Jocie thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!


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Review of Almsgivers  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi again Kare iauu Enga I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.


My impressions of the poem: "AlmsgiversOpen in new Window. by Kare iauu Enga

Image #2337040 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A delightful poem that puts the readers mind to work trying to solve or decipher the puzzle.

A free verse poem written in an original style that does indeed carry a Mystic flow.


Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of two children growing up under the hot Arkansas sun. One being a religious pet lover of dogs and cats. The other being a technological nerd with not much concept of animal loving however a strong understanding of technology for the age coming in the short future. They become close friends helping each other to understand the values of the other. This understanding helps prepare them both for their walk in the future.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I see no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this charming poem.

Kare iauu Enga thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!


Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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Review of Parking  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi again Jacky I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"ParkingOpen in new Window. by Jacky

Clarity:A good title for this parking tale.

Writing style:Contest entry sci-fi adventure.

Image #2337040 over display limit. -?-

Are all 3 genres listed?Only two are given, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A nice structure that does make it easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?Great dialog that is specific to its speaker.

My favorite line:---Now, feeling he was dealing with someone slightly unbalanced, Joe decided to just go along. “Great, thank you!” he said, moving his car.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:Nicely told with a realistic start that suddenly turns into a sci-fi adventure that caught me totally off guard. Did Joe ever get to go for that run?

Jacky thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:*BigSmile* Keep up the good work.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hi ggbid I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.


My impressions of the poem: "elephants on paradeOpen in new Window. by ggbid

Image #2337040 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A well written description of a stay in a psych ward. I once visited a friend that was in a similar situation. This poem brings back those memories well.
The wait for someone to visit is described well and I definitely feel your discouragement as time seems to stand still.


Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a person trapped in a locked floor where elephants roam free.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I see no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this realistic poem .

ggbid thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!


Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Sorji I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Listen to the MusicOpen in new Window. by Sorji

Clarity:A good title for this music journey.

Writing style:Personal experience drama.

Image #2337040 over display limit. -?-

Are all 3 genres listed?Only two are given, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A nice structure that does make it easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?Good dialog that is appropriate for its speaker.

My favorite line:---"Locked," I growled as I stood and stared at the door for a moment, trying to intimidate it into changing its mind. It didn't work, so I spun on my heels and lumbered down the stairs, singing along with the heavy metal chorus as it filled my ears with catchy guitar riffs and a gravelly voice.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A nice opening with a realistic tone that makes this tale easy for me to relate with.
I like the references to Journey and 'Wheel in The Sky'.
Great descriptions that carry me there to the locked grey house.

A nice humorous ending to this entertaining tale.


Sorji thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:Write on!

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi Rene Maori I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.


My impressions of the poem: "The Red Vineyards at ArlesOpen in new Window. by Rene Maori

Image #2337040 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A strong beautiful poem that starts deep with the Crimson leaves. Powerful rhyming scheme that contributes to the wonderful flow.
Then again ending with those Crimson leaves, they're branded in this readers mind.


Artistic Voice and Imagery:Gazing over the river of time I see the image of an ancient Roman slave dreaming then planning for escape while always keeping a positive vision of crimson leaves.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can't find any problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this deep work.

Rene Maori thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!


Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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Review of Bullereese WC 294  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi again jackiesmuse I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Bullereese WC 294Open in new Window. by jackiesmuse

Clarity:Nice title for this campfire tale.

Writing style: Folktale ghost drama.

Image #2337040 over display limit. -?-

Are all 3 genres listed?Indeed, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?Nice structure.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?Great dialog that is appropriate for its speaker.

My favorite line:---“Bullereese is eight feet tall and hairy. He smells like hickory smoke,” Dad said in his storyteller's voice. “People say they can smell him before they see him.”---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:I love campfire ghost stories and this is a great one. Short and straight to the point ending with a little mystery to keep the readers mind guessing.

jackiesmuse thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions: Write on!

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi B.K.K. I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.


My impressions of the poem: "I thought of you todayOpen in new Window. by B.K.K.

Image #2337040 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A strongly worded poem that grabs at the readers emotions. A happy start to this poem before turning into a sad good-bye.

It is sad when we loose someone especially when the lost one was young with so much more life that was ahead still to do.


Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:No problems that I see with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this emotional poem.

B.K.K. thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!


Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Hi bridge I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"The first Sunking and SunqueenOpen in new Window. by bridge

Clarity:A good title for this mythological tale.

Writing style:Mythological fantasy drama.

Image #2337040 over display limit. -?-

Are all 3 genres listed?Indeed by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A nice structure that is easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?Yes.

My favorite line:---At its peak, she felt the light on her skin, could feel it warming her bones, and let tears stream down her face. They had brought back the sun.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:Seems like a nice well laid out orderly historical opinion of the beginning of the Celestine kingdom. I am not familiar with this legend however this work describes the tale of the first Sunqueen.

A nice opening that gets my attention and makes me want to know more.

A well written tale that explains the legend of the crowning of the first Sunqueen and the events leading to that event.


bridge thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:Write on!

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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Review of Coming?  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi again BiOHazard I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.


My impressions of the poem: "Coming?Open in new Window. by BiOHazard

Image #2337040 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:I think this is my favorite thus far. Four most delightful well worded stanzas with a nice rhyming pattern that makes a deep realistic flow.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:I see the image of a soul shipwrecked on a island in the ocean of time. Desperately trying to escape yet unsure what time they are heading for.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:No problems that I can see with the mechanics of this most delightful poem.

BiOHazard thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!


Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi again Bi0Hazard I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.


My impressions of the poem: "Delightfully PatchedOpen in new Window. by Bi0Hazard

Image #2337040 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A most delightful twelve line poem with a random rhyming pattern that adds to the humorous flow.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:I see a single person in unmatched socks preparing to dine alone with one chair, one fork and a dull knife.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this entertaining work.

Bi0Hazard thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!


Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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Review of If Only  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi again Sum1 I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.


My impressions of the poem: "If OnlyOpen in new Window. by Sum1

Image #2337040 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:'If Only' is a delightful eight line poem with a nice rhyming pattern that gives this short poem a poetic flow. The focus as the title suggests is on a past time that the author would like to revisit.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:I see the image of a soul looking back over the sea of time to a important point that they long to revisit.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:No problems that I can see with the spelling, grammar or mechanics of this entertaining poem.

Sum1 thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!


Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Brigitte I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.


My impressions of the poem: "Re. Yellow SubmarineOpen in new Window. by Brigitte

Image #2337040 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: A lyrics style poem about an indie submarine. A nice modern day version of the yellow submarine with references to the internet and You Tube. Without the Beatles singing it neither the voice on my computer or I could quite get in the rhythm.

Nice poetic lines that paint the indie story. For me 'indie' just don't seem to be as catchy as yellow.


Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:No problems that I see with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this entertaining work.

Brigitte thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!


Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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Hi Alex I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"How Naïvithrax got her PromotionOpen in new Window. by Alex

Clarity:Good title that describes this dragon tale well.

Writing style:Fantasy comedy drama.

Image #2337040 over display limit. -?-

Are all 3 genres listed?Indeed*Smile* by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader? *Smile* A nice structure that is easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?*Smile*The dialog is appropriate for its speaker.

My favorite line:---Naïvithrax reasoned that this was because it is difficult to hear people calling out to you while your head is underwater.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: A nice opening with good descriptions to guide the reader into this fantasy world. Written with a very realistic tone that makes this tale easy to relate to and most enjoyable to read. A curious ending.

Alex thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.*Smile*

Suggestions: Write on!

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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Review of "IF"  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi Bi0Hazard I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.


My impressions of the poem: ""IF"Open in new Window. by Bi0Hazard

Image #2337040 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A most entertaining poem that carries a delightful flow. 'If ifs and buts were candies and nuts' what a wonderful opening.

A lovely world this poem describes.


Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of the wise squirrel gathering then storing all the nuts he can find now. Saving them for those times when none can be found.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems at all with the grammar spelling all mechanics of this charming poem.

Bi0Hazard thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!


Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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Review of Portfolio  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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Hi Dickie I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"PortfolioOpen in new Window. by Dickie

Clarity: Good title.

Writing style: Introduction.

Image #2337040 over display limit. -?-

Are all 3 genres listed?Only one, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?Nice structure well laid out with good spacing that does make it easy for the reader. *BigSmile*

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: Looks like a nicely detailed introduction laid out in a good orderly fashion. I look forward to seeing more of your work. Keep writing.

Both 'Taxi Driver' and 'Forbidden Love' sound as if they would be entertaining works to read.*Smile*


Dickie thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.*BigSmile*

Suggestions: Write on!

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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22
22
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi Kanishka Sanyukt I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.


My impressions of the poem: "European Union: A Halal BildungsromanOpen in new Window. by Kanishka Sanyukt

Image #2337040 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A political poem in a unique original style.
Well written in a realistic yet humorous style. A great idea for this sign of the times historical tale.
I like the realistic yet humorous style. Consider shorting some of the longer sentences to keep a more uniform structure, as they seem to linger. A wonderful work however for me it seemed to ramble on a bit toward the end.



Kanishka Sanyukt thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!


Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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Review of Last Chance  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi Silvern I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.


My impressions of the poem: "Last ChanceOpen in new Window. by Silvern

Image #2337040 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:
Seems like a good poem, it is just written in a language that I don't quite get. To me it reads like it was picked from the middle missing the introduction which leaves me guessing.

A sport poem that seems to be ranting about an unpopular rule or decision.
Sports fans especially the hardcore ones do seem to have a secret language that only they understand. I have to admit I don't get it.
This work does indeed have a catchy tone that sticks in your head.



Silvern thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!


Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi vapid I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.


My impressions of the poem: "a seat with insomniaOpen in new Window. by vapid

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Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A seat with insomnia is a gothic dark style free verse poem. Well written with deep undertones. It feels like this was written at a low point in the author's life.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a dark mysterious realm where nothing at all makes sense and sleep is forbidden. The birth place of misery where one can't get out of bed.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this deep work.

vapid thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!


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Review of I Miss...  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi SeanFhear I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.


My impressions of the poem: "I Miss...Open in new Window. by SeanFhear

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Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A free verse romance poem with three psychedelic stanzas. I really like the opening line.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a soul longing for the company of one whose path took a different direction long ago.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can't find any problems at all with this entertaining philosophy.

SeanFhear thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!


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