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Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Time to Wake Up!  
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Ghost* THIS IS A WDC SUPERPOWER REVIEWERS GHOST RAID REVIEW! *Ghost*


Good day, Mr. Rogers.
Mad Dog 2020, eh? I only drank that stuff a few times, and that was probably 30 years ago! But for a cheap, strong high, I can understand how it could give you such a terrible dream.
Oh, wait. I guess it wasn’t a dream, was it? *Smirk2*
Being buried alive is a fear I think everybody has, but strangely enough, I don’t think it’s one that people think about much. Perhaps because they don’t think that it could really happen to them? Regardless, it would be pretty horrible way to die.
I like the suspense you put into this: the reader wonders what’s happening to you with this sleep paralysis thing, and slipping in and out of consciousness like that was a good way to show that. And writing it in the first person was the perfect way to do it, especially considering that simple, but frightening ending.
The spelling and grammar was flawless (thank you!), although I would have like to have seen a little more description in it. Then again, that might have clued the reader on what was happening to you. I didn’t check *Headbang*, but I think you might have a word limit on it too.
Well done, Pernell! I can see why this won the contest! Congratulations!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and I hope to see more of your entries in "Weekly SCREAMS!!!
PS-Don’t forget about the "'SCREAMS!!!' HALLOWEEN CONTEST! }, unless you’ve already entered (which I also haven’t checked yet! Another *Headbang*


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2
2
Review of Freeway  
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there, Jacky!
This is pretty good, and it wouldn’t surprise me at all if it was based on true story of yours!
I’ve done my share of freeway driving, but usually only on 2 or 3 lanes. When it comes to driving in the big cities when the freeways start turning into 4,5, or 6 lanes, forget it! Those people are crazy! I’ll take the back roads, or pull over and let somebody else drive!
And that’s not even counting the road rage that goes on in city driving!
Which is why I thought it was great that your character (or you) got some revenge on those ‘crazies’! You were driving completely legal and in your ‘comfort zone’, and that idiot was just trying to harass you, for lack of a better word.
More power to you, Jacky! Not only did that make your day, but this story made my day!
Kee ponw riting on, my friend. Thanks for sharing this, and have a great weekend!


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#1300305 by Maryann

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3
3
Review of IT or not IT?  
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Aloha, Odessa!
I like this, and I can certainly relate to Kirsty’s argument with her tutor! I took Creative Writing in high school and a couple of other ones in college, and these teacher’s aren’t as smart as they think they are!
Granted it was IT class and it was IT teacher, but Kirsty’s point about computers not being helpful to a writer was valid. I’ve never used a website (and never will) to help me with my writing, so her comment, “I am a woman of imagination, a crafter of words” was perfect! And I can certainly see why the rest of the class followed her out!
“No, but my lunch is.” *Laugh*
Well done, Odessa!
Kee ponw riting on, stay safe and healthy, and have a great weekend!


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4
4
Review of Proof  
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hola, Queen Normajean!
I thought this was great! And hilarious! I love the way you told this, and you did a good job of building up the suspense with George losing that important ‘specimen’ of history in the river because of the lion’s actions.
What is it, the reader asks? You cleared that up perfectly with that surprise ending!
I also like how you kept the action moving, and writing it in the 1st person was a great choice!
The spelling and grammar was flawless (thank you!), and the dialogue was well done!
Bravo, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Queen Normajean! Stay safe and healthy, and have a wonderful weekend!


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5
5
Review of The Falling  
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Hi there, Jen, and happy belated 8th ‘birthday’ on here!
This is different. Different, but good. I clicked on the link that showed the hole, and your description of it was perfect.
And so were your descriptions of the beetles and your adventure to see that strange hole in the ground. Apparently it held some magical (surrealistic) over you and Jacob since he couldn’t see it the 2nd time, but you did, and it helped you to overcome your depression when seeing beetles too.
Beetles as butterflies? Beetles as stars? At least you made the best of your situation by seeing the beauty as you and your brother plummeted through space!
Just between you and me, this kind of sounds like something I might have seen in my younger days when I was experimenting with illicit substances! *Laugh*
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Stay safe and healthy, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!
PS-I know there was a time when we were supposed to double space between sentences (I took typing as a high school freshman in 1979), but those days are long gone now. Nowadays it's OK to single space between them. Just thought I’d let you know! *Bigsmile*


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#1300305 by Maryann

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6
6
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Howdy, Sue, and happy belated 2nd ‘birthday’ on here!
How ironic that I should stumble on this particular piece in your portfolio, since according to {huser:lilli_in_fl), today is National Coffee Day!* *Laugh*
I thought this was pretty good, and that surprise ending was not only hilarious, but a little morbid too! *Rolling* *Shock2* I did NOT see that coming!
The dialogue was excellent, as was the way you told this, and having a grandfather who was also a bit senile, I can certainly relate to it. So I guess you can’t really blame Mabel.
Suggestions and comments (sorry to be so picky!):
“It’s a joke. You’re so gullible.” he gave a little laugh. (He)
“...if you might be happier in a care home(.)” Frank ventured. (comma)
“No one, I went on the bus(.)” Mable said (comma)
Otherwise, great job! I don’t know how this did (or will do) in the contest, but it sure looks like a winner to me!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Sue! Thanks for the laughs, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!
*I wrote this review yesterday, but didn’t post until today!


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#1300305 by Maryann

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7
7
Review of Concerning UFOs  
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Buenos dias, Amanda, and happy belated 4th ‘birthday’ on here!
I’m terrible in the kitchen (I can burn water!), but I thought this was great! And hilarious! I like the setting you used for this with Daisy Mae making that vblog to make her point about these ‘UFO’s, and the interaction with her little brother and mother was perfect. It also set it up for a great ending after her mother put that latest UFO in front of her at the breakfast table.
I’m with Daisy Mae; I’d much rather have a ‘normal’ omelet any old day!
Sorry to be so picky, but I do have some comments and suggestions:
When you 1st mentioned ‘unusually fancy omelets’ as an anagram to UFOs in the first paragraph, I didn’t catch it. *Facepalm* But I think you should capitalize it to : Unusually Fancy Omelets’. Just a suggestion!
“Someone one had to go an(d) ruin the simplicity of omelets.”
“Have a look(-)see (at) what I am talking about.” (or put a period between them and make them two separate sentences, or maybe a comma?)
“Exhibit B(:),” she continued. (don’t need that)
“WHAT KIND OF MADNESS IS THIS!?” *Laugh* (so true!)
“How could some(one) ruin eggs”
“What is what?” Her mother asked sitting down at the table to eat.’ (her)
Otherwise, great job!
Kee ponw riting on, thanks for the laughs, and may you have more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!


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#1300305 by Maryann

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8
8
Review of Tornado Ghost  
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Konnichiwa, tHiNg, and happy belated 19th *Shock2* ‘birthday’ on here!
I loves me a good ghost story, especially when they’re true, and I can totally relate to this!* I have no doubt that that was your father standing there in the background of that picture!
You did a great job of telling this; that short bit of history helped to set up the focal point with the picture. What’s more is that your Aunt’s belief in religion and those who had gone before her would protect her from the tornado was perfect!
I was also impressed that it brought you and aunts closer and that you believe your dad’s watching over you all the time.
One tiny niggle in otherwise excellent true story:
‘a figure that looked so much like (a) my father's profile’
Otherwise, BRAVO!
*My own true story: My mother passed away when I was just 11 years old, but 6 months later I saw a bright light appear in my bedroom one night. It didn’t scare me at all because I was sure it was my mother’s spirit. I said “Mom?” and the light grew brighter for a few seconds and then slowly faded away.
To this day I can tell when my mother’s around because I break out in goose bumps, even in hot weather! Whenever this happens I always look up and say, “Hi, Mom. I love you.”
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, stay safe and healthy, NEVER stop believing, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!


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#1300305 by Maryann

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9
9
Review of Ears or Kids  
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Bon jour, Dr Taher, and happy belated 18th *Shock2* ‘birthday’ on here!
This is a sad piece, and I can certainly understand your position. But in a way, I can relate to it.*
The fact that you are pediatrician but don’t take enjoyment out of it is a shame. And what’s worse, I guess that was one of the few directions you had left after you mistakenly thought the ENT path was the one you wanted to take. From what I see, you were misguided in more ways than one.
Some of us don’t ever really find out what we want to do with our lives, and for me, at 55, I’m pretty sure it’s too late. I look back on it now, and I have my regrets for not writing books and becoming the author I was always told I could have been. I don’t know if I would have been a successful author, but at that time I was young and married with two daughters, and it just wasn’t something I could afford, or take a chance on without bringing in real money. I had a family, and so I decided to be a blue collar worker working in wood mills (which really wasn’t too bad since I’d been around wood all my life at that point).
My point is, don’t look too harshly on yourself for making the decisions you made! Besides, as you said with that last word in your piece about not having your dream job (YET), it’s not too late!
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot one tiny niggle:
"Here you are, you twerp!"(.)
*My dream job was to become a journalist working at a newspaper, but when it finally happened, I found out it was the job from HELL! Maybe I didn’t give it enough time, but they had me writing political articles (it was an election year), and that was the LAST thing I wanted to write about! One good thing about it was that I managed to write a human interest story about an 80 year-old man finding his baseball mitt that was stolen from him when he was 16 back in the 1940s. That baseball mitt, and my article above it (with my byline [name]), are still in the small town’s museum to this day! *Bigsmile*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Dr Taher, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!


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#1300305 by Maryann

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10
10
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Greetings, Seabreeze, and happy early 9th ‘birthday’ on here!
This is kind of wild, but I like how you wrote it.
Personally, I hate shopping for anything, especially Christmas presents, but I can certainly see your point about how items can get lost! But in this day and age and with technology being as advanced as it is, how could this happen? As you said, they have a tracking system now, so what’s up? I have no doubt this is a true story, but you shouldn’t have to go through all that rigmarole to find out where your package was!
I like how you used the references to 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, and the spelling and grammar was flawless (thank you!).
So Edith the Elf gave you ‘some very confidential information’, eh? I wonder what other ‘confidential information’ this Departmentstore.Com is hiding?
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Stay safe and healthy, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!


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#1300305 by Maryann

Goliath With A Santa Hat On


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11
11
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Hi there, Itchybarn, and happy (late) 2nd anniversary on here!
First off, for as young as you are, I’m really happy to see you taking an interest in writing!
These short little stories of dialogue aren’t bad. You’re really using your imagination, which is what all good writers need to do. And again, for someone your age, your imagination is a lot bigger than older people’s imaginations!
My favorite one was number six! Timmy asked his sister a question and she answered it, so it makes sense that that would be what he thought the answer was, even though it wasn’t really the answer he was looking for.
But I don’t Timmy should ask his sister for help with his homework anymore! *Laugh*
Well done, Itchybarn!
Keep on writing, my friend, and have a wonderful day!


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#1300305 by Maryann

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12
12
Review of Pumpkin Past  
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Greetings, Than Pence, and happy belated 16th birthday on here!
This is pretty good: a conversation between two orange gourds discussing the horrors of being a pumpkin during the month of October! *Laugh*
The dialogue flowed smoothly, and I like the difference of opinions they have as one seems a little bit more smarter than the other one. I also enjoyed how the ‘jigglies’ were so barbaric by gutting them and eating them. Reminds me of a piece I wrote about what human do to Christmas trees by dressing them up with all their decorations and making them look botanical prostitutes! *Laugh*
Great spelling and grammar, and that ending was the icing on the cake!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Than Pence! Thanks for sharing this, stay safe and healthy, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!


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#1300305 by Maryann

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13
13
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Hello again, Lobelia, and again happy belated 17th ‘birthday’ on here!
This is another cool slice of flash fiction, and once again I love the honest, no-nonsense way you told it.
The ‘flasher coat’, eh? I don’t know if it’s just a guy thing or not, but we males do tend to get fond of certain articles of clothing, regardless of how shabby, tasteless, or outrageous they are. Now that I think about it though, maybe that’s exactly we become fond of them! *Laugh* But I can see why your husband quit wearing it; I would have stopped too if I received comments like those in public! *Shock*
I don’t know if I would classify it as a ‘family heirloom’ though., but that's neither here nor there.
Again, great job, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Lobelia, and my you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!


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#1300305 by Maryann

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14
14
Review of Sex Education  
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Hi, Lobelia, and happy belated 17th *Shock2* ‘birthday’ on here!
This is really good for a flash fiction piece, and I love your daughter’s outlook on the sexes (even though I’m a guy!), especially for being so young!
I also enjoyed the no-nonsense way you told it, and it sounds like it could be a true story (or is it?).
‘Hand on hip and a boy-you’re-dumb look on her face’’ (Perfect description! I can just picture her standing there doing that!)
The spelling and grammar was flawless (thank you!), and I can see why it took 2nd place in the contest, although it looks like a FIRST PLACE winner to me! Congratulations!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Lobelia! Thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!


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#1300305 by Maryann

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15
15
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Aloha, Jim!
As a fan of spiders (and Spiderman!), I thought this was cool. People don’t give spiders enough credit, but if they’d give them the credit they deserve for wiping out all the mosquitoes and other ‘non-essential’ insects that plague our world, maybe they’d think twice!
My grandmother told me if you killed a spider it would rain for 7 days in a row, and I took her at her word. I never killed a spider after that, and I haven’t seen it rain for 7 days in a row since! *Bigsmile*
Seriously though, I’ve done a few of these 55 worders, even won a couple ("The Sniper *Wink*), and I love the surprise ending for this one. Especially cuz it’z all dialogue!
The moral of this review is: Don’t kill spiders!
Kee ponw ritin gon, stay safe and healthy, and good luck in the contest!
PS-Just watched a Naked and Afraid: Foreign Exchange episode yesterday, and this gal quit after only 55 hours cuz she was so scared of spiders! *Laugh*


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16
16
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ahoy, Beholden!
This is a shockingly good story for using only 496 words, and you did a nice job of telling it. I like how you set it up with Jimmy repairing Bill’s old radio. Obviously this spiderlike creature was what was wrong with it. Whether it there all along or what doesn’t matter, but I love the idea that it kills with its electrical bite! I can just picture Jimmy violently twitching on the floor with sparks leaping out of his throat!
The SPAG (spelling, punctuation and grammar) was flawless, and you did a great job with the prompt! Loved that title too! *Laugh*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Beholden. Stay safe and healthy, and be sure to keep this in your port since it’s eligible for the Weekly Winner!


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#1300305 by Maryann

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17
17
Review of The Money Pit  
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Konnichiwa, Normajean!
I like this. Just the title alone was misleading; it automatically had me thinking of that great movie of the same name, so I was expecting this to follow the same theme. I was NOT expecting that surprise ending!
You did a good job with the misdirection. I figured George was going to blow a gasket when those walls started moving! But that ended up being their $$$ windfall!
Great spelling and telling, but I did spot a couple of tiny niggles:
“Didn’t you even ___ it first?” (missing word?)
You have ‘Missy’ in one paragraph and ‘Misty’ in another
Kee ponw ritin gon, Norma! ‘Twas a pleasure to read, stay safe and healthy, and have a great day/week!


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#1300305 by Maryann

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18
18
Review of Lost  
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with Dreamweaver Bar & Grill  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Bon jour, Jacky!
This is a nice feel good story about kindness in a world that needs a lot more of it, and you did a great job of telling it! Your character could have simply brought the child back to his mother, but instead she went above and beyond by making sure the boy wouldn’t get into trouble for wandering off as he did!
And what’s more is that her kindness was reciprocated with the boy’s smile and by him mouthing “Thank you!”
Well done, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Jacky! Thanks for sharing this, stay safe and healthy, and have a great day!


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19
19
Review of Pirate at Bay  
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Beholden!
Aye, ye wrote a good story here, matey, that ye did! Seriously though, I like a good pirate story, and if the pirate is the underdog, all the better! Old Captain Hook talked a mean game, even though he knew he was bluffing, but at least he pulled it off at the end, thanks to the moon hiding behind that cloud!
Great job with the dialect, as well as with the prompt words.
A couple of tiny niggles:
‘storey’ should be ‘story’ (1st sentence)
‘The threat was empty(,) for Hook knew well...’
Otherwise, well done!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Stay safe and healthy, and have a great weekend!


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#1300305 by Maryann

Angus Hand


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20
20
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Hujambo, DJ, and happy 8th ‘birthday’ on here!
This isn’t what I’m used to reading from you, but I still enjoyed it.
Having literal ‘rats’ take over Wall Street is about as ironic as it gets, and it’s a perfect (and humorous!) analogy! *Laugh* Hell, they’re all crooks anyway!
I like how you set this up with Harry getting lost because of his ‘bladder emergency’, and then inadvertently allowing the rats to escape after he opened that door was cool. First days on the new job are always the worst, but I think Harry’s might have been historical! *Rolling* Damn shame his lifelong dream was shattered.
I’ve never been to New York, or the East Coast, and don’t really plan to go there either. Just living in Texas these last 10 years has been weird enough!
One tiny niggle:
‘Their claws worked frantically(,) pawing at any food they found’
Kee ponw ritin gon, DJ! Thanks for sharing this, stay safe and healthy, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!
PS-I hope you’re all right! You haven’t been around here since JUNE!


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#1300305 by Maryann

A bloody mess ...lol


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21
21
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Artful Flower!
I thought this was a really good piece! Your descriptions were both vivid and a bit ominous, especially that line about the rancid, mucky atmosphere of this dark, jungle-like area that held what few creatures dared to live there. Monsters? Sounds plausible! The name of this place, ‘The Vale of Tears in Wonderland’, is about as paradoxical as it can be.
I don’t know if this is just a prologue into something longer (that unnamed princess raises questions) or just a short description, but I thought your SPAG (spelling, punctuation and grammar) was excellent, and your prose seemed almost professional!
Well done, my friend!
Kee ponw riting on, Artful Flower, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you’re going to love it here!
PS-WdC is a pretty big place and it’s easy to get lost around here, so you might want to check out this video tutorial by Cinn to help you navigate: "WDC Video Help Desk
PSS-I know you set up your port intro, but you might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.


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#1300305 by Maryann

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22
22
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Lezismore!
Saw this on the HUB and had to check it out. Glad I did!
It always amazes me to see what you puny earthlings will blame on us aliens, and this is a perfect example! *Alieng* *Laugh*
Seriously though, this is kind of wild. Not often I read about a pet being abducted by aliens, but as strange as it may be, you almost make it sound plausible! *Shock2* That’s what I like most about this: the way you told it with a straight face, so to speak.
Your descriptions of the abduction was great, and having the aliens replace Loretta with a substitute was a cool side bar. That allowed you to delve deeper into the mystery and gave you more evidence that she’d been kidnapped.
I also enjoyed that update and the rendezvous that Ruby managed to get for you. It’s pretty bad that these ETs would steal your dog and substitute with another one, but then to steal your wallet? That’s just wrong! *Laugh*
Suggestions and comments:
‘My attempts to verbally warn her were also in vane(vain)
‘to what I can only best describe (as) a number of small creatures’
‘From that moment on I have had reason to believe (it) is not the same dog.’
‘who knows what sort of galactic germs she carries.’ *Laugh*
‘It just hovered for a short time then decended(descended)
‘two corpulent furry ETs hesitantly emerged(;) sniffing the air with twitching noses’ (comma)
So far, so good, Lezismore! But just out of curiosity, what does Q.E.D. stand for?
Kee ponw ritin gon, stay safe and healthy, and have a great weekend!
PS-“Shazbot” ? Mork would be proud! R.I.P. Robin Williams!


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#1300305 by Maryann

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23
23
for entry "Frozen
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Ahoy, Hullabaloo!
This is an excellent story and description of a terrible snow storm, and I can relate to more than you think! I’ve actually had to deal with some of those things you talked about!
I was born in Anchorage, Alaska, but ironically the worst snow storm I ever encountered was in the early 90s in northern CALIFORNIA in a little town called McCloud! The whole town was literally snowed in! About 7 feet of snow fell in 3 days, and it still didn’t stop. Streets weren’t plowed, and the only way of getting around was by snow machines, of which there were only a few. All the stores were closed because the power was out, and roofs were indeed collapsing, including the garage at the house where I was living! Older people couldn’t leave their houses because their doors were buried behind snow, and some cars were buried under so much snow you couldn’t recognize there was even a car there to begin with. And some vehicles weren’t dug out for 2 months!
It’s the first and only time I ever heard the Emergency Broadcast System (on the radio) report a real life emergency as it was taking place. Fortunately, there were only a few deaths, and they were mostly traffic related.
Which makes your ending so significant: ‘We were the lucky ones. Weren’t we?’
So you see, this piece really hit home for me, and it brought back a lot of memories! It’s just so crazy how you described a major snow storm so accurately!
‘like a white shroud that is wrapping up every bit of life and taking it away’ (perfect simile!)
By the way, I once had a radiator as my only source of heat in another place where I lived. I thought it was worthless! *Laugh*
PS-I just noticed you’re a judge for The Writer’s Cramp! *Thumbsupl*
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, and have a great weekend!

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#1300305 by Maryann

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24
24
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hujambo, Pernell!
This is interesting, and I mean that in a good way! Also bizarre, and also in a good way! *Laugh* That ending made me pop a few brain cells trying to figure it out, but it was right there in front of my face!
One thing I noticed was that there seemed to be a little more telling than showing in this. I never thought I’d say this, but I think that actually works in favor for this story! Whether it was the limited word count, the cool twist at the end, or both, but it really did.
What got me hung up at 1st was the comment about how the discovery of the suitcase explained a lot. That didn’t explain anything to me, but then again I hadn’t read those last four words! *heabang* No wonder the dog wasn’t eating or drinking! And how cool that he led Thomas right to the problem!
Kind of reminds me of something out of The Twilight Zone!
Nice job, Pernell! I can see why this won the contest!
Kee ponw ritin gon, stay safe and healthy, and have a great evening/tomorrow/weekend!


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#1300305 by Maryann

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25
25
for entry "Invalid Entry
Review by Fangus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Osiyo, Bob!
This is one of your more creative pieces, but I mean creative in the semi-humorous way you wrote it. Doctor Doctor, Nurse Hatchet (which I actually read as Nurse ‘Ratchet’ at first!), and all those patient patients all contributed to the wry grin I was wearing as I read this! *Laugh*
And speaking of Nurse Ratchet, this does have a slight flavor of LSD guinea pig Ken Kesey’s One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest with a bit of Silence of the Lambs mixed in!
‘Created his own inkblot personality test with the bloodied remains’ (now why didn’t I think of that? *Laugh*)
Well done, old chap!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Bob! Thanks for the chuckles, and have a fantastic day/evening/tomorrow!


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#1300305 by Maryann

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