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13,132 Public Reviews Given
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Public Reviews
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351
351
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi there, Elysia!
I'm no expert on poetry, and I'm not even sure if this is poetry, but I thought it was pretty good!
I like the style you wrote this in with the short stanzas as they describe your brief visit to 'Booger Fling' *Laugh* and what you encountered there (besides your 'fatty carbohydrate whole-day's-caloric intake in one sitting'). *Laugh*
I don't think I ever saw flags sticking out of their packaging, but I didn't go there very often.
Love your sense of humor, and that ironic ending with your 'giant, gas guzzling, 1980's American behemoth' was perfect!
My favorite stanza:
Speculating,
busy mind ever running round its wheel of thought,
I mused and wondered.
'What is that?' said I to me.
'Is it clothing? The lost and found? What?'
I also liked:
Waiting,
at Burger King,
for my not so fast food
On a side note, I worked at a couple of Taco Bells back in the day. I used to and still do call them Taco Hells!
Anyway, great job, Elysia!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and have a fiendishly frightful and fabulous Hallo"Weeeeeen!" 

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

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352
352
Review of Call Lockheed  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi there, LtRyanWolf!
I've reviewed before, but it was a long time ago. Reading this makes me wonder what's taken me so long to review again!
This is great! You did a great job of showing us your relaxing day at the beach with your fiery wife while you were on leave, only to have it interrupted by some lowly chief petty officer asking silly questions!
But it was that ending that made this shine. Who the heck invented the cell phone, anyway? What happened to good 'ol fashioned land lines? In the old days, if it was that important they'd just have to wait until we got home and call us again, not every time we're trying to have some peace and tranquility! And maybe some nice time with our better halves!
Well done, Lieutenant! *Salute*
One comment, one suggestion:
'had me more nervous than a frog in a high school biology class' (*Laugh* love that metaphor!)
'I faced palm, rubbed my forehead against my hand as I heard the voice on the other end.' (kind of an awkward sentence, but that's just my opinion)
Otherwise, bravo!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and have a wonderful Halloween!
PS-Haven't seen you around here for awhile. Hope everything's good!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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353
353
Review of The Companion  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there, Flyer!
This isn't bad for a flash fiction piece.
I like how you used that prompt phrase, and you did a great job of building up the suspense and leading us to believe that the wife was seeing another guy, only to pull the rug out from under us at the end when we find out it was just dog she'd been seeing! *Shock*
I know Arakun the Twisted Raccoon loves twisted endings, so I'm surprised this didn't win!
Nice spelling, but I did spot a few grammar niggles:
“I(')m sorry Tom(,) but its not enough for me.'
"You(')re so self sufficient."
(")Ahh(") he exclaimed,
Otherwise, good job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Flyer! Thanks for sharing this, and have a fantastic Halloween!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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354
354
Review of beautiful me.  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Malaika!
I like this, and I think it says a lot about you as a person, especially for only being a 'typical' teenager! *ThumbsUpL*
I totally agree that we should and need to make the best of our short time in this realm, because we probably aren't going to get a second chance (depending on what you believe in). To me, and apparently you as well, life is enjoying the simple things and doing the things we want to do, instead of bowing to conformity and being a slave to the wills of other people.
That's one thing I learned early in life: don't ever let anybody change who you are! I've seen that happen to a lot of my friends in my 54 years, and it saddens me. Unfortunately, it usually happened after they got married. Don't get me wrong; I know people have to 'share' their lives when they 'take the plunge', but that's a lot different than letting somebody change (or mold) you into someone you're not!
Well said, Malaika!
The spelling was great, but I think you should capitalize your 'i's, unless you did that on purpose. And the style you wrote it in was a little different, but I'm pretty sure you did do that on purpose!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen

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355
Review of Unbound  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there, Myles!
This is really, really good!
I love the idea of you being 'stranded' (for lack of a better word) in this new world and having to suffer the scorn of your wife and brother, not to mention the ending where you realize you have no other choice but to face your destiny. I also love the style you wrote it in, and you did a great job with those prompt words, too!
Bravo, my friend! If this doesn't win the contest, then something's seriously wrong!
Kee ponw ritin gon, and have a wonderful Halloween!
PS-I might be nominating this for a Quill Award! *Bigsmile*

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

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356
356
Review of Paper or Plastic  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello there, Cosmicgypsy!
This is a nice take on the difference between writing with pen and paper or typing on a computer, and you made some very good and valid points. I've been typing since my teens and I'm pretty good at it, but like you, my eyes get worn out from staring at this screen so much. But on the flip side, if I write with a pen for too long, my hand starts cramping up!
As for spellcheck on a computer? I wouldn't trust it! Just go to a good old fashioned dictionary! I've seen way too many people put their trust in computer spellchecks, only to find out that the computer is wrong!
I'm also a fan of reading a real book, not some dang kindle or a story on a computer! I like to have the feel of that book in my hands and being able to physically turn the pages!
Call me/us old-fashioned, but some things will and never should change!
Great spelling and telling, but I did spot one tiny typo:
'I came put different wording together side by side' (can)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Cosmic, whether on paper or a computer, and have a wonderful day and Halloween!

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

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357
357
Review of Dead Man's Hand  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Hi there, Phyduex (still love that name! *ThumbsUpL*), and happy belated 13th 'birthday' on here!
For such a short piece, this turned out pretty well. I like how you described Gammy with her audible grunt, clicking her tongue, and her talons as she read Pace's fortune, or in this case, his misfortune.
And Gammy's cards never lie, do they? Except in this case...
Nice job, Phyduex! I think I was almost as surprised by the twist at the end as Pace was! *Laugh*
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! 'Twas a pleasure to read, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

A RAOK REVIEW!

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358
358
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Howdy, Krum!
This isn't bad, and in fact it's actually a 'thinking piece' because some of those things you said actually make sense, in their own warped and twisted way. Kind of like a politician's! *Laugh*
Seriously though, I didn't know whether you were being serious with this or not, and I'm still not sure! I know you have this under comedy (which is the genre I was searching), but as I said, you made some points that could be valid. I can't say how they'd hold up in a court of law, but you might be able to make the judge think twice and indeed get you a reduced sentence! *Laugh*
After all, those deaths were 'purely accidental circumstances beyond your control and jurisdiction'!
Besides, killing is such an ugly word. I like your word better: 'terminate' *Laugh*
Great job, Krum!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and have wonderfully wicked Halloween!
PS-Hope you're doing OK! You've been MIA around here since May!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen

WDC Angel Army Author Of The Month (September 2012)


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359
359
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, demi6502!
This is good story and lesson of life, and I'm glad you shared it with us. There's a lot of things in our lives this could pertain to, and I'm happy that you saw that it wasn't just about your acting.
As creatures of habit, we tend to get so accustomed to what we're doing that we don't see ourselves as others do, and instead of being the 'the bright star in the sky', we wind up being a 'shooting star', or a flash in the pan. I know that's not a good analogy, but I'm trying to say that sometimes we need to be knocked down so we can get stronger. Still a rotten analogy *Headbang*, but I know what you mean!
And that's not even considering the people who get big egos and still think they're so great!
Well said, my friend! I don't know how this did (or will do) as your college essay, but it looks great to me! The spelling and grammar were flawless, and the whole piece read true. And like I said, it's a life lesson, and one that people will hopefully see themselves in!
Kee ponw ritin gon, demi, and welcome to WdC!
One tiny niggle (I think!):
“boring and ordinary(.”) (".)
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen

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360
360
Review of The Trees  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Hello there, RJSimonson, and happy belated 14th ‘birthday’ on here!
This isn’t bad. I like the concept of the trees coming to life, and the idea of that face in that one tree was great.
I know you had a limited word count, but it just didn’t feel like there was enough action in this. Which sort of left it with a ‘soft’ ending. There’s also that unanswered question: who was that stranger at the base of the tree?
Don’t get me wrong. I get the gist of the story. One tree saved you from another ‘killer’ tree. I just wish you had more words to use since it felt like you were trying to park an 18 wheeler in a one car garage (I know that’s a terrible analogy, but I think you know what I mean-putting something too big into something too small).
But if you ever to expand on this, I think you could have something here.
A few tiny niggles (sorry to be so picky!):
‘The trees swaying back and forth(,) looked frighteningly alive.’ (don’t need that comma)
‘I squealed and jumped(,) hitting my head(,) as the face of the tree appeared in the rearview mirror.’
‘...appear to (be) reaching out to the top of the car.’
‘I felt the struggle(,) as it bounced the car.’
‘...arms coming closer(,) and as I turned(,) back around I ran right into the outreaching arms of another tree.’
Kee ponw ritin gon RJSimonson, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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361
361
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wuzzup, Lori?
As a gargoyle myself, I have to say that this is pretty darn good! Fortunately I’m a mobile gargoyle, as opposed to these ones you’re describing who have to forever sit over libraries and such. But I guess they do have one helluva view, though, huh?
I’ve got a story somewhere in my port that deals with trees, who also spend their entire lives rooted (pun intended) to one spot. And like the mighty library gargoyles, they too get view and laugh at the craziness of the ‘zany show’ that takes place below them.
I really enjoyed how you told this, and the rhyming and meter was great.
People are such silly and stupid little creatures! *Laugh*
Which brings me to my favorite stanza:
Weird little creatures, on the corner they dine
From my perspective, on nourishment of swine
Burnt worm on a stick, their favorite fare
Proudly dipped, in baby poop and blood
If it were me, I'd rather dip it in mud
Such culinary vulgarity to see, I swear
I was also quite fond of:
Here I sit, on top of the world
Concrete sculpture, of the underworld
Very well done, my friend!
The Laughter of the Gargoyle shall live forever!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Lori! Thanks for sharing this, and have most wickedly wonderful Hallo"Weeeeeen!" 
PS-I hope you’re doing OK. Haven’t seen you around here too much lately! *Heart*

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

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362
362
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Hello there, Rufus!
This isn't bad for one of your first pieces on here. And as a fellow football fan myself, albeit the American version, I can totally relate to this!
I like how had this conversation with your wife as you tried to explain how important it was to you, as well why it was important to you. Heck, you even explained how they were connected by using that analogy of the 22 feet arranging themselves to 'score the perfect goal of the life'.
Makes perfect sense to me!
Nice ending, too.
Great spelling and telling, but I did spot a few tiny niggles (sorry to be so picky, but grammar is kind of a pet peeve of mine):
"The Football match at 8.30(,)" I told her & ran in to the washroom.
"That's the very point, darling(,)" I told my wife.
"...poem or a flash fiction"(.) I told her stepping...' (should be a comma)
"...to score the perfect goal in their life(".) (.")
Otherwise, nice job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Rufus, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PPS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

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363
363
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hallo, Matey! (OK. That's enough of my attempt at a foreign dialect!)
This is purty durn good, and I like the way you told it. Whodathunk that three tiny witches could use a cat as a transport between worlds?
I like how you brought these two gents together to find out what it was that the witches wanted, and that part about Bernie getting down on his hands and knees to hear the little buggers was especially good!
The dialogue was also well done, and even though you said in your 'disclaimer' that you 'tried', I thought ye did a mighty fine job!
Well done, me bucko!
Kee ponw ritin gon, good luck in the "The Dialogue 500"  Contest, and have a wickedly wonderful Halloween!

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

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364
364
Review of The Sandman  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Hi, Nordic!
I honestly don't know what to say about this, other than it's hauntingly beautiful! It's not really frightening as much as it is haunting, but its also the way you told it. I can see you put a lot of work into it, and I absolutely loved that ending!
I don't know if you've ever seen Stephen King's Creepshow, but one of the short stories he has in it (Something To Tide You Over) deals with a couple who are buried up to their necks on a beach. Slowly the tide moves in, and...well, I'm sure you can guess what happened. If you haven't seen it, I won't spoil it for you, but let's just say that that's not quite the end of the story.
It sure looks like it was the end for ol' Kyle though, huh? *Rolling*
Excellent piece, my friend! In fact, it's so excellent that I'm nominating it for a Quill Award! Or two!
Kee ponw ritin gon, N.N.! Have a really groovy day and very merry Halloween!
PS-This should be at the top of your portfolio and one of your highlighted items!

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

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365
365
Review of Gemini  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Gemini! (Castor and Pollux rule! *Bigsmile*)
Huh. For your first item on here, this is kind of different. OK, a LOT different, but I also thought it was pretty good!
I don't think you're really losing control of your own thoughts since this does make sense, even if it's coming from the mind of mad man. The fact that you want to 'erupt' is something some of us go through every day, mainly because we just get 'fed up'.
Yes, I know you're probably using this metaphorically (at least I hope so, otherwise you'd be in a lot of trouble for what you did to that village and those poor people! *Laugh*), but I like the way you told it: short and simple and directly to the point.
Not bad, Gemini, not bad at all. The spelling and grammar was flawless, and that ending summed everything up perfectly. In fact, I think you could expand on this and get a whole story out of it if you wanted. Maybe not write it in the first person P.O.V. though...
Kee ponw ritin gon, Gemini, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write (and you certainly have potential!), then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PPS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

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366
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Review of Biblio Addict  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, Anne-Marie!
Sadly, I can relate to your addiction, and I admire you for taking this first step: acknowledgement.
I live only a few blocks from our local library, and every Spring and Fall they have their book sales. Thousands of books of every genre for only $1! Who could pass that up! Fortunately though, I only take a few dollars when I go, but while I'm there I find about 30 or so other books I want. And since the sale lasts for 3 days, guess where I am the very next day?
You did an excellent job of telling this, and I love the humor you put into it.
Comments and suggestions:
'Do not pass Go, do not collect $200' (nice try! *Laugh*)
I totally understand that part about wanting to read the book before the seeing the movie! When I found out Stephen King's IT was going to be on TV a few years back, I had to rush to the library and read the whole thing in less than 4 days!
Well done, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, wherever you are! Thanks for the chuckles, have a wonderful Halloween, and I hope to see you back here soon! We miss ya!

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

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367
367
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Hello there, Wright!
This is pretty interesting. I like the way you started it, and it certainly is a 'thinking' piece. But then you kind of went a lot deeper, almost to the point where it sounded (to me at least) as if you were preaching. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I'm just sayin'.
That one part, 'let it be known that tomorrow was once my past' really stuck with me, so much so that I'm still thinking about it! I think it could have different meanings for different people, but for me, my past is my tomorrow. Not that I can't change it (tomorrow), but...stop! Brain freeze! Too much information... *Crazy*
Seriously though, I like some of those metaphors and similes you used in the latter part of this, and the spelling and grammar was flawless (thank you!).
Life without retest? How about 'Life without reSET?'
For something just off the top of your head, this ain't bad.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Wright, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
By the way, click on My Account (on the left hand side) > Achievements and then go back and check your email. You should have a nice little surprise waiting for you there! *Bigsmile*
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PPS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

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Review of I am what I am  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Michael T!
This is a good piece to keep your self-esteem up, not to mention that there's a lot of truth in it. Regardless of the references to Popeye's mantra, we are who we are and we am what we am (or is, depending on your dialect! *Laugh*).
One thing a person should never do is let somebody change them into somebody they're not. That tends to happen a lot in marriages, and it's also one of the causes of divorce.
As for that line about being proud of your mistakes, failures and misfortunes, that does make sense. Those are things we learn from. Just like a scientist performing an experiment, even it doesn't go the way he expected, he still doesn't consider it a failure.
For you first piece on here, not bad!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Michael T, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PPS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen

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369
369
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Mari.
I know this pretty short and perhaps uninteresting to some, but it makes a lot of sense to me. Our shoes, or at least mine, are the one item of apparel that I cherish, and they have to be comfortable! Granted they have to be broken into to conform to our feet, but when they do they truly become ours! No two feet are the same, so those shoes will only naturally fit your feet after they're broken in! And just think of everywhere you've gone together!
I know this sounds weird, but I have a short piece about a certain pair of my shoes if you ever come back here and would like to read it: "Tears For Two" .
Kee ponwr itin gon, Mari, wherever you are! Thanks for sharing this, and I hope to see you back here soon! We miss ya!

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

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Review of The Buffet  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Howdy, Lacy,and happy belated 8th 'birthday' on here!
This isn’t bad, but the ending was really soft, as in anti-climactic.
There’s also a bit of double irony in this too, since not only did Gary probably want to die like that, but there’s obese people all over the world who die this way every and their friends and family say that exact same thing.
One niggle, one comment:
“How many times do I have to ask you not to eat in the car,” Dona asked Gary? (car?” Dona asked Gary.)
“Someone call an ambulance now(.)” (should probably be an exclamation point)
Don’t get me wrong; you did a good job building up the climax, but there just really wasn’t any climax.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Lacy! Thanks for sharing this, have a fantastic Halloween, and I hope to see you back here soon! We miss ya!

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

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Review of Flip Fiddle  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Hello there, Slam!
I'm not sure how came up with this idea or how you made it actually work as a story, but it's pretty good!
Cork did have very strong points there about how the fiddle wasn't working to his satisfaction, but unfortunately that sorceress was apparently ready for his arguments.
It's a wonder she didn't have a 'SOLD AS IS' sign on that fiddle! *Laugh*
Nice job, Slam! The spelling and grammar were flawless, and the whole piece read smoothly.
I think I'm going to have to peruse your portfolio and see what else you've got hiding in there!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, welcome to WdC (again!), and have really groovy Halloween!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen

By the way, I think I told you this before, but if you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

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Review of Making a Day  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Jacky.
This is pretty good. I like the way you built this up with Ted so proud of himself for doing such a good deed, only to find out that it wasn't such a good deed after all and he might be in trouble with the law for helping the old lady steal that jewelry. But that's where the spin comes in, and I have to agree. If I'm still around at 80 and I could pull off a heist like that, then I'd be pretty proud too!
It's no wonder that made Ted's day!
Kee ponw ritin gon, congratulations on the victory, and have a spooktacular Halloween!

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

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Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I’m reviewing this as a "The WDC Angel Army"  Angel and to thank you for all the reviews you’ve done and do on this site!
Guten tag, Bill.
This is one of the scariest stories of yours I’ve read yet! *Laugh*
Seriously though, for a kid’s Halloween story, it’s pretty darn good; a simple account of ghoul and his vampire wife taking their supernatural and monstrous children trick or treating and winding up at a Halloween party, only to have their good time ruined by some snotty little brat ruin it for them.
But they don’t let that ruin the true spirit of Halloween for them as you showed how strong their family bond is.
As usual, I really have no suggestions for improvement. The spelling and grammar were flawless, the story read smoothly, and it even had a happy and logical conclusion.
‘raining black cats and dead dogs.’ (nice!)
Well told, Amigo!
Kee ponw ritin gon, and have a most wonderfully wicked Halloween!
By the way, I don’t know why, but whenever young children see me they almost always give me a weird look. It doesn’t bother me though, because I just give them a weird look right back! *Smirk2*

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen

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Review of Ripples  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Bon jour, Puhlasaurus!
This is pretty darn good!
First off, I like the hook you started this out with that rock skipping at you--whether it was the same you threw or not is irrelevant--and to then see those four *Shock2* eyes of the 'thrower' staring back at you was great.
You also went into some nice detail of the chase as you tried to catch up to your sis, not withstanding that brief asthma attack, and the hissing noises of your pursuer was even more good description. About the only thing you could have added was how it smelled (don't sweat it--I tend to leave that out a lot myself, but it never hurts to add as much of the senses to a description as you can).
But it was that ending that made this shine. Feeling that blood-soaked patch of your sister's dress would certainly be alarming, not to mention heart-breaking!
Personally though, I think you should have ended it right there. Blacking out just didn't feel like a scary enough ending, if you see what I mean.
But that's just my opinion, for what that's worth.
Comments and suggestions:
'...leaving ripples as (a) clue to where it once was.'
'An asthma attack(,) suddenly made it very difficult to breath.' (don't need that comma)
'where I can feel safe.' ('could'-you changed the tense of the story with 'can')
'Every breath was like inhaling fiberglass.' (Excellent simile! *ThumbsUpL* )
Kee ponw ritin gon, Puhlasaurus! 'Twas a pleasure to read, and have a wickedly wonderful Halloween!

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

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Review of Neilson Poll!  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

I’m reviewing this as a "The WDC Angel Army"  Angel and to thank you for all the reviews you’ve done and do on this site!
Hello there, Bob, and happy belated 13th 'birthday' on here!
This is interesting, and I like your ideas! Especially that last one.
In this day of streaming and everything we-could-never-possibly-imagine beginning to pop up on TV networks, these aren't really that far-fetched. Heck, you could make a reality show about practically anything these days and it would be guaranteed to attract at least a few followers!
Methinks you should come up with a few more of these and send them off to one of those networks! Lord knows they couldn't be any worse than some of the stuff they've got now! *Laugh*
Well done, Bob!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen

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