*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/deadzone/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3
Review Requests: OFF
13,132 Public Reviews Given
13,388 Total Reviews Given
Favorite Genres
Horror
Least Favorite Genres
Romance
Favorite Item Types
Horror
I will not review...
Romance or pieces longer than 3,000 words!
Public Reviews
Previous ... 2 -3- 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 ... Next
51
51
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Strawberry*I am a Certified Gargoyle WdC Power Raider, here to taste your fare for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group!*Delight*

Ahoy, Rachel!
This is pretty neat! I’m kind of a trivia buff, so to see this was really interesting.
It doesn’t surprise me to see that the Greeks were a little more ‘civilized’ than the Romans. The comparison of the Greeks offering goats to the gods before eating them (reluctantly) was a perfect example, especially when considering what the Romans did to the Catholics in the Coliseum for their ‘pleasure’!
Not so sure about that barbarianism part though. One part wine to three parts water? C’mon! At least half and half! *Rolling*
As a Jeopardy fan (and sometimes TV winner), I like how you researched this!
“I’ll take Greek/Roman history for a thousand, Alex.” *Laugh*
And those illustrations were great!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, stay safe, stay healthy, and have a magnificent day/evening tomorrow!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

my signature

52
52
Review of Obsession  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Aloha, Odessa!
This is pretty wild. I like how you told it. I’ve always had a feeling there was something a little twisted about the fountain of youth, and you did a good job of showing it. It’s a perfect example of ‘watch what you wish for’.
I can understand people trying to preserve their youthful appearance, but I think women are overly obsessed with it. Hence Phil’s apathetic attitude about it.
Comments and suggestions:
‘For now, though, the sports page was calling.’ (you betcha! *Laugh*)
‘Looking up at the fence(,) reallity dawned.’ (reality)
I also think you could expand on it a bit, but that’s just my opinion.
The ending, albeit a bit sudden, was great. And shocking, as well! *Shock2*
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, and have a great day!


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

My latest 'Angus' signature



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
53
53
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Hi there, Jim, and happy early 10th ‘birthday’ on here!
This is a nice, feel-good piece, and I like how you told it.
The idea that this ‘masked’ Santa might have a better job opportunity somewhere else is a good plot, and having him make a decision from his heart to stay with the children is a perfect example of what Christmas is really all about.
I also like how you used the little girl to sway his decision, even though that’s done a lot in stories like this. Besides, who can resist the wishes of a little kid, especially at Christmas time? But on the flip side, those little brats know EXACTLY what they’re doing when they turn on the waterworks!
I’m kidding. Sort of...
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthday’ on WdC!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
54
54
Review of DIY  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Ahoy, Odessa!
I like this, even as painful as it sounds! *Shock2* Owch!
I like how you used that prompt phrase, and I empathize with you for what women have to go through having to do something like that. Not quite sure what a 'BSC' is, but I can probably imagine it isn't something good! *Laugh*
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Good luck in the contest, and have a wonderful day!


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
55
55
Review of Kaleidoscope  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Howdy, Ken!
I thought this was cool. You're a very talented poet, and this just shows how diverse your writing can be. The descriptions were excellent, and the whole piece moved smoothly.
One thing I see more of though is watching how summer arrives. I even took a picture this spring when the bare trees were just starting to get their leaves, and then some more as the days went by just to watch their progress. It's amazing how fast they can 'come back to life' after winter!
But I also enjoy the fall colors.
Well done, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and have a great day!


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
56
56
Review of Haircut  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there, Normajean!
I like this. And I can relate to it!
I've always had long hair myself (yeah, I'm an old 'hippie'), and I once had this same thing happen to me! Including the dead umbrella! *Laugh*
For only using 250 words, you told this perfectly, and that ending was the icing on the cake!
'Birds are flying backwards' *Shock2* Now that's a serious storm!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, and have a wonderful day!


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
57
57
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Hi, Audra, and happy belated 12th ‘birthday’ on here!
I thought this was great! I’ve never thought much about online dating (wouldn’t even consider it, to be honest), but I guess it works for some people, regardless of how different they might be!
This couple, though, might have taken it to the extreme! *Bigsmile*
You did a great job of telling this. I don’t if it really happened, but it wouldn’t surprise me in this topsy turvy world! That part about their original phone conversation where they thought each other was being sarcastic made it believable. And you comparisons to Ronald Reagan and June Cleaver were excellent!
Loved your comments about Nate! What’s the world coming to when you can’t even bring your own brother into a bar, whether he’s a duck or not? *Laugh*
One tiny niggle:
‘...for him to get away(,) that the seat at her table was taken’
Otherwise, BRAVO!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for the laughs, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
58
58
Review of Life Lessons  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hola, Odessa!
Mayhap you know me to be a connoisseur of horror, but I also enjoy a bit of humor, especially when the two genres can be mixed successfully. And that’s exactly what you did here!
I thought this was great!
I love the way you told this, and even though I did have an inkling of where this was going, I still thought you did a great job with the surprise/twisted ending! The way you described the new school, the students, and the atmosphere was perfect as you tried to fit in to your new surroundings. You said it felt like a private school, but it sounded more like a military school to me!
The spelling and grammar was flawless, and the whole piece read smoothly. I also like how you wrote in the first person!
‘and a sort of meatloaf without meat’ (Bleah! I guess they can make ANYTHING out of tofu (or whatever they call it) these days! *Laugh*)
Well done, my friend! I can why this took 1st place in that contest! Congratulations!
Kee ponw ritin gon, stay safe, stay healthy, and have a great weekend!


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
59
59
Review of The Library  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Greetings, Theresa, and happy belated 13th ‘birthday’ on here!
As a self-proclaimed English ‘Major’ *Bigsmile*, I’ve loved libraries since before I can remember, and I thought you did an excellent job with this, even for a FF piece!
I like how you started this off with that first paragraph; it shows perfectly how much these boys love their own library, and as the story goes on, their love of reading!
I also enjoyed how Sam and his little brother made that little fort to hide in (a whole new world to ‘escape’ to, so to speak) while they began reading about their new adventure! And then having the first sentence of the book imply what their own weather conditions were was a stroke of genius!
BRAVO!
This brought back a lot of nice memories! I still remember one of the first ‘big books’ I ever read, if not the very first big book. I think I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, (believe it or not!), and it was Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I believe it was that book that got me started with my love of reading. And when the movie came out with Gene Wilder, it was exactly how I imagined it in the book!
I think that was one of Gene’s best movies, and it also made Roald Dahl famous, at least in my opinion.
‘a book he knew would take him to a place he'd never been before’ (*Heart* I couldn’t have said in any better myself!)
Great job, Theresa!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, stay safe and healthy, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
60
60
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Osiyo, Odessa!
This is pretty wild! It’s definitely one of the more original and creative pieces I’ve read on here, and you did a good job of writing it!
I like how you started this out with some back story about the circle, and the comparison of the Mandrake Ring to Stonehenge was cool. I didn’t notice the erotica genre at first, so that kind of knocked me when I read it. But you transitioned into it smoothly.
Having the stones come alive as supernatural demons and having their way with the actresses was the best part. I guess in a sense you could call it the ‘climax’ of the story, so to speak! *Laugh*
Just a darn shame about Carl, though. But it’s a perfect example of why people should be more open-minded about things they don’t know about! *Smirk2*
Comments and suggestions:
‘The earth is scorched black as if some ancient lightening strike... (lightning)
"Horns, shit, they're demons," shouted Jason. (Jordan)
‘To say they got their rocks off would be an understatement.’ *Rolling*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Odessa! Thanks for sharing this, stay safe and healthy, and have a great week!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

My latest 'Angus' signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
61
61
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Hi there, Archie, and happy (belated) 17th *Shock2* ‘birthday’ on here!
First off, thanks for the morning laughs! I really needed them!
I thought this was good! I totally agree with you about the sad state our TV programming has become. I know this an older piece (pot IS legal now in several states! *Laugh*), but things haven’t changed much. I don’t know if these ‘uncertain times’ we’re currently experiencing has anything to do with it (maybe lockdowns and social distancing kept the networks from producing new and better shows?), but some of the shows I’ve seen are just plain awful!
‘Tag’ is one them, in my opinion!
You did a great job with some of these examples, and they’re really not all that absurd. I was born in the days of The Andy Griffith Show and Gomer Pyle (1965), and TV has come a long ways since then. Lord only knows what it’s going to be like ten, twenty, or thirty years from now?!? *Shock2*
‘Chef Yule Daretoeatit’ *Laugh*
I also liked that sponsor for Gowns and the Law, ‘The Mustrange Ranch, Incorporated’ *Thumbsupl*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Archie! Thanks for sharing this, stay safe and healthy, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
62
62
Review of Secret Cave Swim  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Ahoy, Jody, and happy belated 4th ‘birthday’ on here!
Damn! This is pretty neat! I think you’ve taken the word ‘ambiguity’ to a whole new extreme since we don’t know who or what this creature is, or who/what those ones were that might be stalking her!
I rarely use this word, but your writing here is ‘elegant’, not to that it has a beautifully haunting flavor to it as your character carefully and slowly makes her way down to this pond inside this underground cave. The reader can feel her apprehension as she first takes a few small drinks, and then feels safe enough to emerge into the pond for a brief and relaxing swim! But even then she doesn’t let her guard down.
The spelling and grammar was flawless, and your prose (wording) was exceptional!
‘She fancied the moon her sister and the stars her cousins.’ (excellent metaphors! *Thumbsupl*)
‘Her heart began to flutter, like moths’ wings inside her chest.’ (Great simile!)
Like I said, what stood out to me was how you told this so well and giving the reader so little description of the character!
BRAVO! I’m so glad I found this in your portfolio!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Jody! Thanks for sharing this, stay safe, stay healthy, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
63
63
Review of Roommates  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Greetings, Xylch, and happy belated 12th ‘birthday’ on here!
I love twisted/surprise endings, and you really had me going with this one! And in more ways than one!
I didn’t notice that you had it under the comedy genre at first, so when I started reading about you taking your clothes off in front of Chester, I was thinking this might be an erotic tale of sorts. Which was the first twist, for me anyway, and then to learn that Chester was actually a CAT was the 2nd one, which I also didn’t see coming!
I was also mildly surprised that dear old mom was more concerned about a cat moving in with Lunette than a man. But you managed to back that up with a few good facts, the litter box smell being the main one.
Nice job with the dialogue, the spelling and grammar was flawless (thank you!) and it even had a ‘happily ever after’ ending!
Well done, Xylch!
‘Helicopter parents’? Never heard that term before, but thanks for teaching me! *Bigsmile*
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Stay safe, stay healthy, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
64
64
Review of Ole Harry's Grave  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Greetings, Last Cicada, and happy belated 19th *Shock2* ‘birthday’ on here!
I’m no expert on poetry (although I’m a big fan of limericks!), but I thought this was pretty good!
I’m also a fan of humorous and dark pieces, so this was right up my alley.
The idea of spending a night at a cemetery on a bet was cool concept, and getting to meet ol’ Harry in his spiritual form (dressed in a ‘french bikini and a goofy tutu made of hot pink and white’ *Laugh*) was great! But watching those 9 hours of horror movies you went to the cemetery probably wasn’t the best idea!
The rhyming and meter seemed good, as was that ending.
Comments and suggestions:
‘That on Ole Halrold's grave a whole night I would spend’ (Harold’s)
‘It was Harrold Gambini’ (Harold)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Last Cicada! Thanks for sharing this, stay safe and healthy, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

my signature



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
65
65
Review of Cursed  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Ahoy, Bill!
This is pretty cool! I wish I could have helped, but my mind was at brick wall with the opening you gave me. You took your idea and really ran with it, and it turned great!
Indian burial grounds are definitely not something to be messed with, as Luke and Jesse sadly had to find out the hard way. I know it wasn’t intentional, and mayhap they might have been forgiven for the trespass had Luke listened to Jesse!
You did nice job with the descriptions and keeping the action flowing, and I like the ending with new bodies being added to the burial grounds, and adding the knife and the flashlight was extra nice touch! It was a tad sudden, but I’ve a feeling you might have edited the original version down for the word limit in the contest.
Well done, Amigo!
Comments and suggestions:
‘Then continuing to poke t(h)rough the debris he saw some rusted keys on a key chain.’
‘Jessie's mind began to crumble like a plastic bottle with all its air sucked out.’ (cool simile!)
‘There was a(,) "Whoop, woop, woooop(.)" from out in the forest. (don’t need that 1st period, and the period should probably be an exclamation point)
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend (as I know you will!)! Stay safe, stay healthy, and have a great weekend!


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

My latest 'Angus' signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
66
66
Review of Life Eternal  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Ahoy, Beholden!
This is pretty good, and I can see why it won the contest! Congratulations!
I was just a few paragraphs into this and had already assumed this hooded figure, although dressed in white, was the Grim Reaper, possibly in disguise. ‘Twas only shortly thereafter that you proved my assumption incorrect.
But not by much!
What’s cool about this piece is the irony: you’ve shown that everlasting life and eternal death are just the same side of a coin, so to speak. Immortality, according to Life’s contract, would certainly have its drawbacks. But even without those, who would really WANT to live forever? And death might not be so bad after all, especially if what the Bible claims might be true!
It’s definitely a good thinking piece, and you told it well!
I was wondering why Brad hadn’t asked those questions before he ‘signed’ that contract, but I guess if he had, you wouldn’t have a story, eh? *Bigsmile*
Well done, my friend! The spelling and grammar was flawless, and I only noticed one little typo:
LIfe sat down and gestured for Brad to do the same.’
Kee ponw ritin gon, Beholden! Have a great day, and I hope to see more of your entries in ‘SCREAMS!!!’


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

My latest 'Angus' signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
67
67
Review of An Earworm  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Bon jour, Beholden!
Wow, oh wow!
I am seriously impressed, my friend! You said you thought this might be your first REAL horror story? WRONG! It’s not just a real horror story, it’s a FANTASTIC horror story!
I absolutely LOVE the way you used the earworm prompt, and just between you and me, if I would have been judging that day, it would have won! Or at least tied with Hullabaloo’s story! I honestly think this could be/should be published!
That said, since this can’t be considered for a Weekly Winner, I’m going to give it a special award. Not sure what I’m gonna call it, but whatever you do, keep it in your portfolio!
The descriptions you used as the earworm ate itself into Vinnie’s brain was over the top, and having it inadvertently transmitted to Ray by telling him the song was perfect!
Which led to an ending that couldn’t have been any better!
Some of my own stories have been compared to Stephen King’s (not bragging, just sayin’), and this one certainly reminds me of something he’d write! I read it more than once, and I’m still shaking my head…
The spelling and grammar was flawless (thank you!), and your prose was ‘magnifico’! Personally, I think you should HIGHLIGHT this at the top of your portfolio!
Comments:
‘Elton John, spangled coats and goggle glasses’ (that’s kind of an ‘eyeworm’, ya know! But I think it’s his own personal ‘eyeworm’, since he’s so famous for those outfits! My favorite one is where he dressed up as Donald Duck! *Laugh*)
‘For a few minutes, the clock repeated its attempts to wake its master. Then, as though it had given up in despair, it fell silent.’ (Excellent description and personification of the alarm clock!)
My only regret is that I can only give this 5 stars, because it deserves at least 1,000!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Beholden! Stay safe, stay healthy, and I hope to see more of your stories in ‘SCREAMS!!!’
PS-Oddly enough, I was going to use that very song around this time when I setting the prompts! The only reason I didn’t was because the chorus was too repetitious!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

My latest 'Angus' signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
68
68
Review of Monkey Business  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Odessa!
This is pretty good, and I can see why it won the contest! Congratulations!
First off, thank you for starting my day off with a laugh and smile! Considering how it started with animals escaping a safari park and the mention of the pandemic, I thought it was going to be dark piece.
I love twisted/surprise endings, and this one is great! It’s also a nice commentary on these uncertain times.
I’ve entered this contest a few times and I know how hard it can be to write a decent story with only 300 words, but you pulled this off with only 188! *Shock2*
Flawless spelling and grammar, and that ending was perfect! Dang monkey trying to buy more than the 3 item limit! *Laugh*
Well done, Odessa!
Kee ponw ritin gon, stay safe, stay healthy, and have a great week!


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
69
69
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Greetings, Teresa, and happy early 3rd WdC ‘birthday’ on here!
This is a nice little children’s story about a ‘sandman’ named Sandy, told in much the same style as ‘Frosty the Snowman’, and you did good job of telling it. Granted the two stories practically mirror each other in terms, but I loved the unusual (and very original!) twist you put on this classic tale!
Sandy the Sandman? Whodathunkit! *Bigsmile*
Even though I already knew this a ‘remake’ (for lack of a better word) of sorts, I hadn’t given it much thought as to how it was going to end. I figured Jackie and her cameraman would just end their story on a happy note and leave it there. So I was really surprised when you brought in the wave to take Sandy away! *Shock* Just like the sun did to ol’ Frosty!
Very well done, my friend!
Comments and suggestions:
‘Standing in front of him, still stunned by his being alive.’ (‘still stunned by the sandman actually coming to life.’ Just a suggestion *Bigsmile*)
‘Sandy started to laugh at all their faces.’ (I don’t think you really need that last part—it sounds a little redundant since you mentioned their ‘faces’ in the previous sentence, but that’s just my opinion, for what that’s worth!)
I don’t know how this did in the contest, but it looks like a winner to me!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Teresa! Thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!
PS-Personally, as writer of horror, I’d have just left it with the young children looking on in horror as Sandy screamed for his life as the sudden rogue wave overtook him, leaving him a wet pile of misshapen sand on the terror-stricken beach. *Smirk2*
But that’s just me, of course! *Laugh*


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
70
70
Review of Valentine Flight  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Greetings, Deb, and happy early 9th WdC ‘birthday’ on here!
This is a really nice piece about what you love, starting off with your childhood dreams of flying and then comparing them to your actual adulthood visions of flying, only on a horse now, and you did a great job of telling it!
I’ve only ridden a horse a few times, but I can easily see this comparison. Just the idea alone of being on a horse on a backwoods trail gives the impression of freedom, and flying is a great analogy!
As you said, ‘It is the completeness, wholeness that I imagine heaven to be.’
Well said, my friend!
Comments and suggestions:
‘When I awoke from those dreams I felt such a let down.’ I have to ask: is this pun intentional? *Laugh*
‘However, I am been blessed by the gift of flight again’ (have)
When you mentioned ‘The sweet-pungent smell of horse manure’, it brought back memories of where I grew up out in the country in CA. We lived a few miles from a dairy farm that was just off the road, and you could smell the cow pies from more than ½ mile away! I won’t say it was a ‘great’ smell, but it was certainly different! *Bigsmile*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Deb! Thanks for sharing this, stay safe, stay healthy, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
71
71
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Greetings, P. Boutilier, and happy early 15th *Shock2* ‘birthday’ on here!
This is a really nice, feel-good story about the power of believing in oneself, and you did an excellent job of telling it! It also shows what good sportsmanship is all about: it’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.
I love the example you used with ‘Fred’ the Djinn/genie (had to laugh at the name you gave him! *Laugh*) not really being in the bottle on Gramma’s necklace, but rather that he was in Jace’s heart all along! You could have gone the other way and had Jace make a miraculous save and win the game, but you put that twist on it and still made it work! And it actually turned out better that way, at least in my opinion!
BRAVO, my friend!
Comments and suggestions (sorry to be so picky, but I hate to see such a great piece have any mistakes):
"What's that?" (,)asked Jase, pointing to the necklace.’
‘dredlocks’ should be ‘dreadlocks’
ALL grammas know weird stuff! *Laugh* My gramma used to say it would rain for 7 days if you killed a spider! I can’t say that’s entirely true, but I never killed a spider after that, and I never saw it rain for 7 days! *Bigsmile* Coincidence?
Kee ponw ritin gon, P. Boutilier! Thank you for sharing this heartwarming story, stay safe, stay healthy, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!
PS- Congratulations on the 2nd place win! That ribbon is very deserving!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
72
72
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Hi, Princess Megan, and happy early 18th *Shock2* ‘birthday’ on here!
I know this is a little bit out of season, but considering the times we’re living in, it’s an inspiring and uplifting piece when people really need it!
I this was great! That part about your grandparents was especially touching. My mother died when I was 11 and my grandparents (grandmother, mainly) practically raised me, with help from dad of course.
Like you, those family memories are to be treasured and cherished!
But what I enjoyed most about this was you didn’t mention anything about presents. Presents are nice, and they do have memories attached to them, but you simply talked about family, togetherness, and love for the most part.
And that’s what Christmas is all about, right? *Bigsmile*
A couple of tiny niggles (sorry to be so picky!):
‘My grandparents came to visit and bought Fluffy’ (brought)
‘There was a white mermaid made out out of white fiber material’
Great job, Princess Megan!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, stay safe and healthy, and may ALL your future Christmas’s be as blessed as the ones you’ve had in the past!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

Goliath With A Santa Hat On


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
73
73
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Makonnen!
This is pretty good for one of your first pieces on here, and I think it’s great that you managed to not only come to believe in angels, but also find one! And on WdC, no less!
I don’t know who you contacted, but they’re obviously a very nice and generous person to offer you that service for free. I’ve been on WdC for nine years, and in that time I’ve come across some of the most incredible people I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet on here! Of course you’re going to run across a sour apple every once in a while, but I guarantee they’re few and far between!
You said you haven’t taken her up on her offer, at least not yet, but I think you should. It’s not every day you’ll get an offer like that!
Comments and suggestions:
‘Grammarly almost crashed the mommet it started analyzing the text.’
‘A book editing serves...’ (service)
Also, you said you ‘committed the worst mistake’ when you told her what it might cost based on what you found on the internet. I don’t see how that could be considered a mistake.
Anyway, good job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you’re going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

PSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
74
74
Review of Ailurophobia  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Greetings, ForeverDreamer!
This isn’t bad. I like the idea of Daniel having this phobia (or superstition) of cats stealing people’s breath (particularly baby’s breath), and having him face his fear by being involved with Sierra and Cheri was a good plot concept.
I also like how you gave us some back story on why he was frightened of cats, as well as the history Cheri and what she really was. She kind of sounds like she had some Egyptian blood in her, since they were known to worship felines.
It was that ending that made this shine, though! I did NOT see that coming! And if need be, you could always add a sequel to this now that Sierra has a ‘secret’ in her belly! *Laugh*
The spelling was flawless, but I do have some comments and suggestions (sorry to be so picky!):
“How are you? He asked. (he)
“That’s good(”,) he said (,”) (there’s a few spots in this where you should have the punctuation marks INSIDE the quotation marks)
(“)Surely I’m not bothering his nerves that bad,(”) she thought. (thoughts shouldn’t be in quotation marks. Another way to show thoughts is to use italics.)
“What’s wrong?”(,) Sierra asked. (don’t need that)
“...cats are evil and steal people’s breath” (I was just thinking about Stephen King’s movie Cat’s Eye when I read this! It was actually believed by some European cultures in ancient time that a cat could ‘steal life’s breath’)
One thing I also noticed is that you used a lot more telling than showing. I think if you used some metaphors and similes it would bring this more ‘to life’, if you know what I mean. Here’s a link to telling vs showing if you want to check it out: "Invalid Item.
Otherwise, nice job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, ForeverDreamer! Stay safe, stay healthy, and have a great weekend!
PS-I’m featuring this in Wednesday’s Horror/Scary Newsletter as you requested!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
75
75
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Greetings, Thomas, and happy (belated) 9th ‘birthday’ on here!
This is an interesting piece, and you did a good job of writing it and making your points.
I see what you mean about the difference between a dualistic person and a whole person. Using the emaciated kitten was good example. It’s true that we all have inner ‘monsters’, and some of us, if not most, are able to suppress that monster, at least to the point where we don’t bring it out in violent or selfish ways. A small minority on the other hand, either willingly or unwillingly, release that monster.
That’s where I’m a little confused; you say we should ‘embrace’ that inner self. I understand that, but I don’t think ‘embrace’ is the word you want. Perhaps ‘accept’ would be better. Take your ‘Hate-Love’ characteristic. We all have likes and dislikes, and that includes people. I’m not saying hate and love, like and dislike are synonymous, but they can be interchangeable depending on what degree a person wants to take them. My sister used to tell me (still does) that she doesn’t ‘like’ the word ‘hate’ whenever I said it. I still use it, not that I’m proud of it, but if the shoe fits, wear it.
But the same can be said of like and love. You can like somebody, and you can love somebody, again depending on what degree it is.
Sorry, I digress.
Your point about being ‘whole’ was well done, and it can be rewarding. By doing so we do indeed grow as a person. ‘Evolved’? Again, I’m not sure that’s the right word, but that’s just my opinion.
Nice job, Thomas! It’s certainly a ‘thinking’ piece, and I thank you for sharing it.
Kee ponw ritin gon, stay safe and healthy, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5,266 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 211 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/deadzone/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3