Bon jour, Beholden!
Wow, oh wow!
I am seriously impressed, my friend! You said you thought this might be your first REAL horror story? WRONG! It’s not just a real horror story, it’s a FANTASTIC horror story!
I absolutely LOVE the way you used the earworm prompt, and just between you and me, if I would have been judging that day, it would have won! Or at least tied with Hullabaloo’s story! I honestly think this could be/should be published!
That said, since this can’t be considered for a Weekly Winner, I’m going to give it a special award. Not sure what I’m gonna call it, but whatever you do, keep it in your portfolio!
The descriptions you used as the earworm ate itself into Vinnie’s brain was over the top, and having it inadvertently transmitted to Ray by telling him the song was perfect!
Which led to an ending that couldn’t have been any better!
Some of my own stories have been compared to Stephen King’s (not bragging, just sayin’), and this one certainly reminds me of something he’d write! I read it more than once, and I’m still shaking my head…
The spelling and grammar was flawless (thank you!), and your prose was ‘magnifico’! Personally, I think you should HIGHLIGHT this at the top of your portfolio!
Comments:
‘Elton John, spangled coats and goggle glasses’ (that’s kind of an ‘eyeworm’, ya know! But I think it’s his own personal ‘eyeworm’, since he’s so famous for those outfits! My favorite one is where he dressed up as Donald Duck! )
‘For a few minutes, the clock repeated its attempts to wake its master. Then, as though it had given up in despair, it fell silent.’ (Excellent description and personification of the alarm clock!)
My only regret is that I can only give this 5 stars, because it deserves at least 1,000!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Beholden! Stay safe, stay healthy, and I hope to see more of your stories in ‘SCREAMS!!!’
PS-Oddly enough, I was going to use that very song around this time when I setting the prompts! The only reason I didn’t was because the chorus was too repetitious!
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