Beautifully structured. The spacing threw me off a little.
However the writing itself was great, good imagery.
One thing I very much enjoyed was your symbolism
And how you relate it to your subject. Good job.
Your structure is sound yet your syntax is off.
You are missing congugative words.
I'm normally not one to pick on small details;
However for a serious subject such as death I feel the need
for a bit more time and attention.
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