I don't want to rate this highly because of artistry, but because of the simple stream of conciousness thoughts that depict depression as I have known it very clearly.
write on!
I am IN this poem, experiencing it with the writer.
Stanza four was an illustration, description that strikes me as so accurate for depression.
It is real, it does take a respite at times, when it is satiated.
But writing helps some, if only to give word pictures for the pain inside.
Thank you for sharing this poem.
This is a vivid telling of the deeply felt emotions of parents. I especially liked "she skipped when I called her my love"
I can not tell the source of the division and loss of relationship, whether through death or human choices, but the grief is apparent and the absence in her life, her in your life is palpable.
I am moved by this piece and reminded of my personal loss of a daughter.
Write on! It helps, somewhat.
This compact story is revealing of tenderness, devotion to a lost loved one.
It is poignant... what faithfulness put into caring for the resting place of this "baby girl."
This piece quickly captures the reader's attention, and keeps it.
well done
Write on!
This is a thought provoking poem. As the reader, it speaks to me and reminds me of moments in the darkness, quite alone.
It is encouraging and uplifting by directing the reader;s sight back to God.
The photo chosen to go with it is beautiful, also.
The only suggestion I have is a typing correction. In the second stanza, do you mean lose, not loose?
Great hook to grab my attention. You lead into the story well with the reference to Charlotte's Web.
This story had enough highs and lows to keep it interesting.
Nice short story.
An enjoyable read.
Write on.
An enjoyable read about an exasperating sound. It reminds me of an old Fred Macmurray movie....
I don't think that I would be up to reading a sequel however....
write on!
jsneby,
this poem is open and raw, the feeling is evident at beginning and end.
the rhymes are well done, and you lead back and forth between hope, and despair with this person.
i follow you, and echo your final line.
Hope that at writing.com you will find true friends to share with and continue to be open with.
write on!
Very well written poem full of truths
I good reminder packaged in an appealing rhyme
I am encouraged, and challenged by this poem, it is a good counter to my own moments of despair, when I forget to cherish each day.
Thank you
Write on
Well, I am not going to gush all over this piece as I did over the previous review, however, I am going to say that I want more!
Your writing is very satisfying... until it is over. As the reader, I reached the bottom of th closet, and cried, "no!"
I will be back to your portfolio looking for other reads, and most likely re-reading these two.
please write on!
I feel so inadequate to have read this wonderful piece of writing.
I am new to awareness of color in life, however, the writer has so beautifully, descriptively revealed his awareness that I feel empty, and dim-witted in view of it.
I want to understand more, and yet I know that I am so limitied in my comprehension... it is so clear in this piece.
How can I but sit in silence and absorb this piece.
Wow...
thank you for the gift of this writing.
I was searching for articles related to synesthesia... I think I have a form of it.
But I was grabbed by your connection with Vincent Van Gogh
You expressed well the thoughts I have about feeling, seeing, touching.
Van Gogh seems to have done all of that deeply, and uniquely.
I actually would aspire to paint like him.
You described him and his painting in a captivating way.
THank you for this piece.
Very interesting and well written... will be looking at your portfolio soon...
Write On
I like your rhyme scheme.
This poem speaks well of the too soon passing of life.
I especially liked the imagery of the first two lines, they
captured my mind's eye and attention immediately.
Thank you for sharing this poem.
Write on!
And happy anniversary!
This poem drew me in to the story of a special woman, Aunt Marge.
No patty stackers aren't exciting, but they are memorable.
I appreciate that the beautiful scent of lilacs is the memory the writer chooses to savor.
Precious thoughts.
Write on
I have no suggestions, sorry, just starting poetry myself, I did enjoy yours.
Thanks for sharing of this surprising reunion, and the evidence of friendship's value... reminiscing for hours, helping out a stranded friend in the middle of the night.
What a great memory.
Hope you had many more opportunities to share with each other through the years.
I appreciated the authentic interjections... very believable, and easy to get into the story.
Very well expressed. I have been there, sometimes go to that long distance, again.
I hear the longing desire to spann the Abyss. I wish you well, and that the two will take the time it
takes to build a bridge from heart to heart, pillow to pillow, and share openly with one another
That is not intended to be counseling, just lessons I have learned in 3+ years of marriage counseling
These days/ nights our fingertips do touch, and we grasp each others' hands.
Write on
And continue to share.
You said it! Thank you for sharing the thoughts, the frustration of med changes, self-changes, seasonal changes... and the effect on you.
I am not bi-polar, but definitely deeply affected by the seasons.... Seven long months!
I also have sunk into major depression recurrently, and my personal purgatory, is a limbo of hours spent in my room avoiding life, and family....
I especially appreciated the last 3 lines.
I try to do that also.
Write on!
Hope the summer has been an opportunity to store away health for the fall/winter months.
wow! what a huge treasure of information, tips, exercises...
I am not writing anything long, but am intrigued to try some of the exercises with my characters from short pieces that I have written...
Thank you for the work of condensing and sharing this topic
Write On!
I appreciate your points. You present them well, and in an interesting essay.
Thanks for the prodding to avoid the evil of mediocrity...
I fear that as my end .... average..
Thanks again
Write On!
It was very enjoyable to read of your long relationship with Tigger, and all that you went through together. It helps to process these precious ones to write. Good job.
I am sure that Bella with reap the benefits of your loving heart. May sure mature- but not too fast!
Enjoy your princess.
Write on!
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