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Review Requests: OFF
672 Public Reviews Given
673 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest, for the most part. Not hurtful, for the most part. In other words I'll try to be straight up but not step on you face while I'm about it. Oh, by the way, this points business confuses me. I don't want to charge for a review. If I have the points in the bank I'll refund you 900. Why I'm required to ask 1000 is past my understanding.
I'm good at...
Not much. Grammar, spelling, punctuation, most of the mechanical stuff. Good eye for composition. I read a lot and I can give you a reader's opinion. Most good reviews are a fresh eye.
Favorite Genres
western, sci fi , detective, general or literary fiction
Least Favorite Genres
erotica
Favorite Item Types
what, pray tell, is an "item type"?
Least Favorite Item Types
See above
I will not review...
stories about kangaroos
Public Reviews
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76
76
Review of Land Monkeys  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (4.0)
I wonder what I miss ? Is there a sea monkey or water monkey that I might visit in some aquatic park or zoo? So when I see Land Monkey I go to the default position od "yes, what else could it be?" What ever, the rhythm and rhyme of this piece over shadows any zoology qualms. thanks for sharing.
77
77
Review of mGur on Spirit  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (4.0)
Liked the form, elegant. But, I wonder about the sentiment expressed, rather like a jailer relishing his duties. Also there is a disjoining of self for how is the spirit separate from the rest, the al , so to speak. The questions take nothing away from the writing,; it is the mark of good poetry to raise questions. Text books can answer them,
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78
Review of 20 years  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (4.0)
Skyrocket

Ignition.
Ascent.
Decline.
And surprise.
A short happy life, but a wonderful ride.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I understood your meaning, or at least the meaning the piece had for me. I think it would be a better essay with a quick proofread and a rewrite to just tidy it up.

DC
79
79
Review of The Sentinel  
Review by Dee C
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
It is certainly horror, but is it suspense? The guard's death seems a sure thing once it is revealed that the assailant is made of stone. no real suspense there. The setting is eerie enough to be chilling, and the guard is set on his uppers by the discovery of a body, but the conclusion is foregone. I suppose the word limit is to blame, but I do think there is room for improvement. On the plus side the logic of the story, the pacing, and as said, the setting are perfect. Thanks for sharing.
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80
Review of beautiful lies  
Review by Dee C
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
It the Disney pollution that's ruined it for you. To cleanse your palate of the saccharine, contrived, correctness you have to take a big bite of the original blood-rich Grimm Brothers versions. Murder, mayhem, maiming, all the goodies children relish.
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81
Review of Squire Korbes  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (4.0)
An amusing tale, I have no knowledge of the Grimm version though the plot reminds me of the story, "The Bremen Town Musicians." A rooster and a jackass figured prominently, ably assisted by a cat and a cast of several. I will try to find the James story. My wife is a fan and we may have it on a dusty shelf somewhere. Thanks for sharing your version of this tale.
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82
Review of The Kron Did It  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good yarn, I enjoyed it. If you go forward with it I suggest you have your MC slug it our with a villainous that's not so close in name to the word freeze, or maybe I missed something? I suppose "I’m gonna get you" was the required phrase in the exercise, if so you made a slam dunk of that requirement. Good work. good entertainment, thanks for sharing.
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83
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (3.0)
I presume English is not the first language of the narrator. Omission of some indefinite articles and no idiomatic pronoun use gives this impression. The sentences are long and mostly compound. A few simple sentences might give the reader pause space to more fully appreciate the text. Consider burdened instead of burdenized and consider revising the next to last sentence. Suggested: Those who endure the pain with optimism and belief in ALLAH are the ones who are successful.

Thanks for sharing.
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84
Review of Spacewalk  
Review by Dee C
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A good presentation of all the things that go wrong before the final and untimate wrong event. Well presented thank you.
85
85
Review of Back to Dust  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (3.0)
"Please keep in mind that I wrote this as an exercise in description and emotion. It is not meant to be a full story."

Noted.

I wonder how this story might be received if the adjectives were restricted to those relating to color and number? That is to say if the adjectives of "opinion" were eschewed in favor of describing by nouns and verbs. After some finite amount of definition by modifier, be it adjective or adverb, the reader begins to feel manipulated by the writer and resists reading further.

The descriptive method that relies on modifier overuse can become the death by a thousand cuts and the writing perceived as less than vigorous.
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86
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (5.0)
A most excellent story. I am glad I read this. You have put into perspective several things that are topical (facial recognition software, social mediums, and the like) and several things that are universal (human vanity, the vanishing desire to be independent of the crowd, the cowardice of total conformity) into a coherent piece of writing.

Good job.
87
87
Review of Game Models  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (4.0)
Excellent writing. I am never really comfortable with second person, and I did notice it to the point of allowing the "you" to take me out of the dream to an extent, but this is a personal preference or prejudice of mine and probably it will not affect other readers.
88
88
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (4.5)
That sunflower card is so well drawn. Come turkey day I will have to come back here.
89
89
Review of cNoteHeader  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (4.0)
Being scarcely able to type letters onto the page it seems to me almost miraculous whay you are able to do graphically.
90
90
Review of Remember Me  
Review by Dee C
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I like the sentiment a lot - well done. Did you consider writing it in some dialect a bit less Elizabethan? Just as an exercise. There's nothing wrong with it as written. thanks for sharing.

"Remember this as you pass me by - as you are now, so once was I."
" Don't put Miss on my tombstone. I didn't miss as much as you think."
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91
Review of Her First Time  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (5.0)
There is a story by William Carlos Williams that comes to mind: "The Use of Force." It is well worth reading if you haven't already.
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92
Review of Imponderables  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really like this one. The questions are those we almost never voice and should. In a shop of three barbers should we choose the one with the best haircut or one of the others hoping an even money bet will pay off.
93
93
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like the trope of the tree. I've written a lot of stuff involving trees; one could do worse than admire a tree. Here is one:

Volition

Sure knowledge is no blessing
Though men think so
If I knew, knew of a certainty
That to lie beneath the oak
Forever
Would make me oak
I might
I would surely consider it
Consider a long nap
With an acorn in my pocket
Waiting for a handy carpenter
94
94
Review of Frustration  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (3.0)
So if all else fails? Naww, I aint buying into that concept. The last resort business trends toward blasphemy.
95
95
Review of Interloper  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good thought. I suppose a field of dandelions would look odd with a patch of pristine, weed free costal Bermuda smack down I the middle.
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96
Review of All the Time  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (4.0)
Sounds like a page of a prayer book, not that I own a prayer book, but I have a notion that some prayer is based on repetitious praise.
I think King David is my favorite poet, although I may just have a crush on Elizabethan English.
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97
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (4.0)
Well done. Thanks for sharing.
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98
Review of Homecoming  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thanks for sharing this. It is important to remember fallen comrades and honor the ultimate service rendered us.
99
99
Review of First Contact  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (3.0)
I hope it was only word limit consideration that strangled this otherwise fine story.
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100
Review of Under The Stars  
Review by Dee C
Rated: E | (4.0)
Believable emotion despite the straight jacket form
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