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1,413 Public Reviews Given
1,424 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I provide a detailed review that focuses on flow, storyline, characters and how the story touched me emotionally. I do not focus on grammer or provide extensive line by line edits on longer pieces.
I'm good at...
Character development, emotional content, dialogue, plot.
Favorite Genres
Horror, Dark, Action/Adventure, Thrillers, paranormal.
Least Favorite Genres
Vampire, werewolves, stories based on video games, fan-fiction.
Favorite Item Types
Fiction short stories or chapters.
Least Favorite Item Types
Essays
I will not review...
Erotica or really graphic 'slasher' type horror.
Public Reviews
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)

I found the majority of this poem had a soft, wistful flow to it. I could feel the longing, wistfulness and finally joy underlying the words. It's a beautiful poem about a longing for freedom and warmth, very insightful and the words are incredibly haunting. I would suggest Capitilizing each word in your Tittle line to draw readers attention when scanning for items.
Although I am certainly not an expert on this style of poem, there were two areas that read a little rough to me, particularly whenI read aloud.
Verse One, Line Two, when I read aloud, this felt like it needed a comma after 'cold 'or to read as 'December's icy touch, '[ not sure what to suggest to smooth that line...
Verse Three, Line Four; 'believe 'also reads a little rough, I kept wanting to say 'believe ' [ Also you need a period after believe there ]
FAVORITE VERSE: Four. Strong and vivid imagery coupled with powerful emotional impact made this truly resonate within me.
FAVORITE LINES:
Oh idle days, caged in my rooms,
The longing of my soul is deep,
A memorable, heartfelt read that with just a touch of polishing will be a truly haunting and unforgettable piece of art !

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Review of A Warm Christmas  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

A catchy tittle and description drew me into reading this funny free verse poem about a man unhappy with Christmas weather. I really enjoyed the comedy aspect to this little piece, the ending is a wonderful surprise twist that left me grinning ! Very powerful imagery lets the reader feel they are accompaniying the man on his journey through
his memories of past Christmases in comparison to his present circumstances. I enjoyed the intensity of feeling and emotional drama in the opening verses. They are a perfect lead-in to the unexpected final line. No grammer , punctuation or spelling errors were apparent and the flow of the poem is rich and consistent throughout. Verses flow seamlessly one into the next.
FAVORITE VERSES: Two, Four Six, Seven.
Too many favorite lines to list - give it a read, you'll be glad you did !

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Review of Night Terrors  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello, I am here to review your item in the spirit of goodwill and because it looked interesting to me.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only. Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:

*CandyCaneG*Tittle, Description: Attention grabbing tittle, your descriptive line fits this story with excellence.

*GiftG* First Impressions/ Contents: A wonderfully gripping short horror story that will make you think twice about turning off the lights !
I loved the well crafted dramatic build-up and story arc in this piece. It is well planned from start to finish and certainly held my interest all the way through.

*Snow1* Plot: Genuinely chilling and unique in it's presentation.

*SnowMan*Characters, Dialogue: Main character is believable and I felt I was her in the story, certainly I could sympathise with her frustration!
Secondary characters are well portrayed and inner dialogue is well done and believable. GREAT twist ending - I never saw it coming.

ScotchTape: Suggestions, Typos : I felt this story would absolutely sparkle with some revising and polishing, most of it is just simple little things - I don't have space for a line by line polish, but will try to give an idea so you can go through it yourself.
First start by indenting each new paragraph by about five spaces, better presentation and easier for the reader not to get thrown out of the story.
Starting with Paragraph One, try this;
The rain had been falling steadily for hours now, [ replace comma with period there] and The dog had brought in proof that the backyard had most likely turned into a murky lake. His large muddy footprints[ pawprints] highlighted on the white tile floors. [ Shorter, cleaner sentences add drama and depth]
The dog... He stood out in the dark[ pale decklights], his white fur almost gleaming glowed] in the dark. He was staring intently into the dark [ night]...
ran into his small kennel, vanishing into it's dark depths. [ try not to use so much repitition of the word dark, use similar substitutes, or just delete, let reader imagination work for you]
Give your story a tough revision for areas similar to the suggestions above.


*Snow2*FAVORITE LINES OR PARTS: The ending, dramatic, chilling and unexpected. Too many favorite lines to name without giving away the storyline here.

*XmasTree*Closing Thoughts and Rating: I really enjoyed this story and felt it could be polished into a publishable piece with a little work.
I would have rated it much higher if not for the repitition parts that need revising, I'd be happy to re-read and re-rate after editing though !


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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello, I am here to review your item in the spirit of goodwill and because it looked interesting to me.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only. Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:

*CandyCaneG*Tittle, Description: Interesting tittle and descriptive line.

*GiftG* First Impressions/ Contents: A detailed story of supernatural events with a great twist ending. I liked the content and theme of this story, although I felt a little faster pace in some areas to break up the long narrative would work better.

*Snow1* Plot: Well planned and executed, it held my interest very well.

*SnowMan*Characters, Dialogue: Both very believable, but a polishing for repitition of descriptions and similar lines would be very beneficial to polishing this piece.

ScotchTape: Suggestions, Typos :
Try revising to include a mix of long and shorter sentences to change pacing to a more dramatic level in action or highly emotional areas, such as the first bathroom incident.
'a dark, glass color.'[ delete, you've already told us this]
'... killed her, or hurt her really bad.' end sentence at 'killed her, readers understand the rest is implied if it hadn't killed her

*Snow2*FAVORITE LINES OR PARTS:
Second bathroom scene at twelve years old, very dramatic and chilling.

*XmasTree*Closing Thoughts and Rating: I particularly liked the final confrontation and when Angela's 'ghost' makes known who she really is. A highly enjoyable, entertaining read that just needs some slight revision and polishing to make it extraordinary.


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Review of Vlad's Wife  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, I am here to review your item in the spirit of goodwill and because it looked interesting to me.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only. Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:

*CandyCaneG*Tittle, Description: Good tittle, excellent, interesting descriptive line.

*GiftG* First Impressions/ Contents: I felt the contents were very believable, but I didn't really connect with the main character until the end because I didn't really feel I got to know her as well as was possible. I did enjoy the main theme of this story, but felt it would be more engaging and memorable if revised to include more sensory details of the battle through her eyes and in the beginning, was she chilled, sweating, crying?

*Snow1* Plot: Interesting plot, well thought out and portrayed well for such a short piece.

*SnowMan*Characters, Dialogue: Characters are very three dimensional and I felt I'd have liked to see them as part of a slightly longer, more detailed piece. Inner dialogue flowed well and moved the story along. I felt the story was slightly rushed in some areas which detracted from the main characters potential impact throughout. [ one area would be where she cries out for her husband, than is suddenly just sitting on her bed ]

ScotchTape: Suggestions, Typos :
Try adding more sensory input into this piece, slightly more detail, ie: what words were on the note ?
YOUR SENTENCE:
'It pulled a few strands of hair from her head and she winced.'[ try revising for drama]
"She winced, a sharp gasp escaped her lips as its sharp tip jerked a few strands of hair from her scalp.'
*Snow2*FAVORITE LINES OR PARTS:
The ending for it's unexpected, dramatic impact.

*XmasTree*Closing Thoughts and Rating: An excellent and interesting topic, I think with a little revision, lengthening of this piece, it would become truly outstanding !


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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)

The powerful and deeply visual images held me enthralled in this poem. I could feel the deep emotional struggle of the character as he strove not to give in to the voices,
I could also physically feel as he weakened, than drew strength not to allow the voice dominion. There is a multi-layered richness to this poem, created by the dark subject matter, tempered with the inner strength of the character and the almost hypnotic placement and repitition of several key words, voice, pleading, words...
After studying the style of the poem as outlined in the Author's notes, I could find no errors in form. I particularly liked the repitition of the line:
I hear it's wail cajoling me to release it from it's jail.
An excellent, deeply moving poem.

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Review of LED BY A STAR  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

A beautiful, heartfelt Free Verse poem of the season ! I loved the strong, vivid images in this poem coupled with the powerful wording, these things make this poem truly shine. I felt like I was hearing the Angels and seeing Mary and Joseph's radiant faces. The pace and rythm in this poem made it so strong that it could easily be set to music or sung around the Christmas tree with family and friends. Punctuation, grammer and spelling are excellent and I could not see one thing that I would suggest needs improvement. Stunning work!


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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, I am here to review your item in the spirit of goodwill and because it looked interesting to me.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only. Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:

*CandyCaneG*Tittle, Description: Interesting and attention catching tittle, your descriptive line is poignant and made me want to read the story.

*GiftG* First Impressions/ Contents: A tale of loss and of a boy's journey into manhood. A story of a special relationship and a man who taught the boy about the cycles of life even with his last breaths.
Contents are richly textured with images, memories and the momments that shape children into the adults they will become. I was hooked by the rise and fall of drama in this story as the boy is forced to face his feelings and put his grandfather's illness and loss into perspective. Paragraphs flow well from first to last, writing is very crisp throughout. Readers are drawn into both the story and the relationship.

*Snow1* Plot:Wonderfully crafted and fresh, this plot is one that will make many readers look at thier elders in a new light.

*SnowMan*Characters, Dialogue: Characters are strong, three-dimensional and realistic. They jump off the page and into your heart.

ScotchTape: Suggestions, Typos : I didn't see any typos or spelling errors, but I do have a couple of suggestions I made note of while reading;
The thoughts of it sends chills down my spine...
My grandfather and I had always been close. Always. [ redundant, we know this from the story and previous line.]

*Snow2*FAVORITE LINES OR PARTS:
The hunting trips of the boy and grandfather.
How the boy comforts his grandfather on his final night.
'When he left, it was an eerie feeling. '

*XmasTree*Closing Thoughts and Rating: This story is packed with emotional drama that lingers in the memory long after it is read. I would have rated it higher, but felt it could use just a little more tightening and polishing in some areas similar to what's noted in the Suggestions section. This story is definately worth a read.


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Review of Why Am I?  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A poem of strong emotional content and impact on it's readers. One can hear the desperation to understand within it's words and I felt anger, distrust and my own desire to know echoed in these words. I liked the dramatic arc as this poem reaches it's closing verse with a final plea for help and knowledge.
Suggestions; I did feel this poem might become even more smooth and let readers reach deeper into thier own minds with a little addded punctuation.
Verse One, question mark after line two. Capitilize beginning of line three, commas after line three and four.
Verse Two; commas after lines two, three, four.
Verse Three; commas after lines one, three. Period after line four.
Verse Four; commas after lines one, three and four. [ line Five mightread better if you delete 'and', change it 'to']
FAVORITE VERSES; Two and Three. [ deeply emotional and strong sentiment]
A beautifully written poem that asks questions I'm sure most have asked themselves in thier deeper moments.


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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)

I liked the overall flow and rythm of this poem, it shows much humour and is a cute read. I do have a few suggestions for you to consider, feel free to disregard what you feel doesn't apply to how you feel your work should be...
Verse One; Lines three and four could use some revision and polishing - they don't seem to make much sense or fit the majority of the poems message and rythm.'Same problem in Verse Four, line four [ idea is good, try revising it's wording lightly] Closing verse, same problem as Verse One, but Ireally liked the idea of repeating the opening and closing verses for effect.
FAVORITE VERSE; Six, it is well written and funny. Excellent flow.
A humourous read that with a little polishing would be excellent.

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, I am here to review your item in the spirit of goodwill and because it looked interesting to me.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only. Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:

*CandyCaneG*Tittle, Description: Good tittle, but you might capitilize each word for maximum effect and noticeability. Description invites interest and fits your content well.

*GiftG* Contents, First Impressions: I liked this story because of it's strong message, you kept the POV character all through it. There is a strong sense of drama and anger here, yet hope underlies the story, very evident in the closing paragraph.

*Snow1* Plot: Interesting take on this theme.

*SnowMan*Characters, Dialogue: I thought your main character was a powerful presence, yet, I had trouble really connecting to this being, obviously he/she was not human, can you give the reader a slight description of who this is, an Angel, being from another world? This would help readers care about why this particular being is so upset and add more depth to your story.
Dialogue is more like inner narrative, yet we know he is talking to a particular human, can you make that part more of a dialogue exchange?

ScotchTape: Suggestions, Typos :
Opening line, try not to use so many of the same words in one sentence. Maybe revise to something like;
Come, walk with me to see what has been left for us. I will show you what Humanity has left abandoned.
Paragraph Two, line one; 'shells'[ ruins sounds better in this context]
Line three; he He was called...
Paragraph Three, line seven; period needed after ' on '
Paragraph Five; 'your'[ you're ] using it as 'you are '
'... you're one too? Well than, ... [ always capitilize first word of new lines]
Forrest [ Forest] corrected spelling.

*Snow2*FAVORITE LINES OR PARTS:
FAVORITE PARTS; Paragraph Three, for it's strong dramatic arc. Closing paragraph, because it leaves the reader with a feeling of hope.
FAVORITE LINE:
A plant, all alone, just waiting for the moment it can spread it's seeds. [renewal, rebirth]

*XmasTree*Overall Thoughts and Rating: I think this story, with some revision and a strong edit for spelling, punctuation will be a wonderfully moving read with a strong and emotional message for all it's readers. I rated it as I did because it needs some work to become as strong as I think it can be and I will be happy to re-read and adjust my rating after it has been polished.
I enjoyed reading this story very much.


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Review of Trumpets Sound  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Toucing, sad and memorable, this poem holds both the key and lock of mans destiny. I enjoyed the rich, vivid imagery and the soft, haunting flow of this poem. Although I am no poetry expert on various styles and requirements, by studying the lines from the Authors footnotes, I could detect no flaws in it's requirements. Spelling, punctuation and grammer are good, each line is tight, crisp and polished. Each verse follows the next in perfect synchonicity. I loved the repitition of the lines at the beginning of each verse, the very slight variation at the end of each really stands out and causes readers to think and reflect on what they've read.

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Review of The Test Match  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, I am here to review your item in the spirit of goodwill and because it looked interesting to me.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only. Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:

*CandyCaneG*Tittle, Description:Interesting tittle, attention getting and compelling descriptive line.

*GiftG* Contents, First Impressions: An inspiring story about two lonely people and what might happen if they met. Contents are rich with background detail and filled with numerous, powerful emotions. It is a tale that inspires sadness, curiosity and hope in it's readers. I enjoyed the mix of long and short sentences because I felt they added to the rise and fall of important events and insights within the story. Artfully done!

*Snow1* Plot: A compelling plot of two ordinary people with ordinary lives who one day have something remarkable occur which changes thier lives.

*SnowMan*Characters, Dialogue: Characters are rich in detail, very three dimensional and likeable. Both main characters could easily be anyone's favorite aunt or uncle or the people who live next door.

ScotchTape: Suggestions, Typos : I felt the story was excellent and well polished as it stood and cannot offer anything constructive to improve it. Grammer, spelling and punctuation were all well checked by the author. Great work !

*Snow2*FAVORITE LINES OR PARTS: Too many to list, but here are a couple;
I suppose that is how love is-glory or ruin - and we never know which it'll be.
... bubbled up into his conscious mind... [ great description]
FAVORITE PART; The entire letter found in the book, and when they see each other in the bookstore.

*XmasTree*Overall Thoughts and Rating: I liked this story, because it pulls readers deep into it's world, you just have to know what happens next! I was actually shocked and dissapointed I'd reached the end, because I liked the characters so much. I couldn't rate it anything less, I simply could not find a flaw within it.


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Review of Streets  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

A dramatic, hauntingly intense poem about gangs and life on the streets. It is also a poem about confusion and holds an underlying wistfulness for change.
The beat and rythm of this poem is strong, hard, dramatic, almost a trance-like state ocurred as I read it. The images are vivid, the reader is pulled not only into the poem, but the lifestyle. I particularly liked Verses One, Three and Four for thier dramatic tone and impact to the reader. My only suggestions for improvement would be to add the following punctuation; Verse One, Line One; comma after ride - Line Four; comma after 'streets '
Verse Three, Line Three; comma after 'streets '
Verse Five; commas in lines one and two after 'lives '[ to match dramatic flow in Verse Three]

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Great tittle, I couldn't resist reading this one and I'm glad I did ! I'm still laughing as I try to type. My only suggestions here would be for Verse One, Line three - try changing 'had 'to 'held 'for better flow. Also, add commas after each of the first three lines for every verse and a period on the fourth for consistency and better presentation. This is such a happy little poem, I could just picture the cook in his apron watching his sauce bubble away.Pacing is strong and consistent throughout , the imagery is easy to visualize. My FAVORITE VERSE has to be Verse Three, it says it all and reminded me of my son and husband in the kitchen cooking, so it was a very easy connection to me into this poem. Great job !*Thumbsup*

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A beautiful, touching poem about a child's Christmas wish. I felt the question mark in the tittle didn't quite fit - it isn't really a question there and maybe more dramatic as a statement for drawing readers in. I loved the quick pace and vivid imagery in this poem. It is very easy to imagine being there, listening to the child's greatest wish and his reasons for asking it brought tears to my eyes. Puctuation, grammer and spelling were all good, and the poem kept it's beat throughout. I felt the strong emotional impact of this poem coupled with it's clear wording, really make this poem stand out.
It's well worth taking a momment to read !

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

An entertaining, concise and easy to understand article on planning and writing a Novel Series, it is particularly focused on using the same characters, locations over more than one book. I found this article contains much help for the beginning novelist, such as building plot lines, the importance of keeping good notes and many helpful links to further benefit and instruct writers in both the craft of writing, but also market trends, marketing and very importantly, how to develop a novel idea into what could become a series. I think most writers who are serious about being published would benefit from reading this article and it's many links. There is a wealth of information here and even if you are not planning a series, you'll benefit by learning how to build strong characters, storylines and how to keep pace with an everchanging market industry.

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Review of Twisted Christmas  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)

A heartfelt poem about the things that are truly important at Christmas, the things you can give of yourself, hope, help, happiness and kindness.
I enjoyed the sentiments expressed in this poem and I think it is very apropriate in these timesof financial pressure for so many. I know your words gave me much needed inspiration on what otherwise might have been a sad Christmas. Thank you for that gift. *Heart*
I liked the fact this poem is presented in a free-verse style, because I feel that gives it the strongest vehicle to be read deeply, without counting lines or syllables. Your imagery is strong, moving and poignant.
FAVORITE VERSES; One, Four, Five, Seven. [ these spoke to me the most and expressed your thoughtswith the most powerful imagery.
SUGGESTIONS; You need to give this a strong edit for punctuation to keep a consistent flow that is evident in Verse One.
EXAMPLES:
Verse Two; Line One, comma after Somehow' 'somewhere'and end of line Line Three; commas after 'coupons'and 'grow'
Verse Three; commas after 'toys''ploys' 'away' TV and 'see'
A poem that I feel many readers can understand and relate to because it expresses a yearning for the quieter, simpler Holidays of long-past years.

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A poem filled with strong imagery and wonderful sentiments. I am no expert on the different styles of poetry, but this one seemed to fulfill it's requirements very well.
I enjoyed the sharply crisp sentences, although my one suggestion is that a comma seemed needed on the very last line after ' winter '. A pretty, strongly written poem that I enjoyed very much.

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Review of WEATHERED STONES  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

This poem holds such strong imagery, it haunts one's thoughts long after the last line is read. I don't think I'll ever view a cemetary quite the same again. I enjoyed the short verses and crisp, tightly woven wording in this poem. Pacing and flow are excellent, grammer and spelling are superb, I did feel the comma at the end of line two, verse one, should be a period - it just doesn't read as a question. All the characters mentioned spring to life, thier stories bring tears to my eyes. This poem is definately more than worth reading !

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Review of REUNION  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, I am here to provide you with some feedback on your item. Please note that ALL comments contained in this review are only one reader's opinion and are meant only as suggestions. Use what you find helpful, and ignore the rest.Most importantantly, Keep Writing!


TITTLE, DESCRIPTION;Great tittle, short, catchy, fits the story well. Descriptive line is interesting and attention grabbing.

CONTENTS; I enjoyed the plot, it is a great little twist on the 'typical'ghost story one so often hears. More of an honouring of life after death, than scary, spooky. *Thumbsup* The story flows well, it is well planned and very well crafted, no long, boring narratives to slow down the pace or push readers out of the story. The story-line is very believable, I didn't even question what was happening.

Characters, Dialogue: Main character is very likeable and well rounded, he's someone I could imagine knowing. Internal dialogue gives great background, fills in mood, and moves the story forward with each phrase.

IMAGERY; EMOTION;Imagery is clear and easily pictured. I felt I was standing just to the side, watching Ted and listening to him tell his story to me personally. I felt sadness, regret and happiness for Ted as I read. Also a great respect for this character.

Favorite Lines/Parts: Ted describing all his close friends.
The words engraved on the stone. Beautiful sentiments.

SUGGESTIONS;
Paragraph Two, Line One;
"Where is my name?"He thought..." needs question mark, not period, capitilize He. Also, use double quotation marks around dialogue.
Paragraph Five; commas needed after 'stone''one'
A thought as I read, I felt it more realistic if Ted's name was carved on the stone as his full name, not just shortened to Ted, wouldn't names on a marker be full given names ?

CLOSING THOUGHTS; An uplifting and entertaining story that leaves readers with a warm, happy feeling.


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Review of PURE WATER  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

I am reviewing your poem which is posted in the Simply Positive Review Forum. Please note, All comments and opinions expressed here are only that of a reader. I am not an expert on poetry forms and can only comment on aspects I find appealing.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS; An interesting perspective on the state of available clean water in our world.
FLOW; I found the punctuation helped to create a rythm for the reader to follow and absorb the thoughts the writer was expressing. I did feel the word 'Cry' in Verse One, line four slowed the flow and threw me out of the poem slightly, is there perhaps a similar word that might work better here ?
Overall THOUGHTS; Strong imagery throughout makes this poem memorable to readers. The rhyming pattern as shown seems well performed within this sonnet.
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Review of Dog  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

I am reviewing your item today because it was recommended in the Simply Positive Reviewers Forum. Please note I am not a professional on copywriting or editing, this review consists simply of my personal thoughts and opinions on this item. Please accept what you find helpful, and disregard the rest.

Your Description fits this piece very well. Did you invent the term 'storoem', for your particular style of combining poetry with stories ? It is a very apt description and I find this type of poetry my favorite both to read and review because it both touches my emotions deeply, is highly visual in nature and leaves a lasting impression in my mind.

General Flow; Imagery ; I found the flow of this poem worked well, events happen in a logical sequence that takes readers on a journey through a typical event, many animals end up becoming strays and it is often hard for the kindest people to afford to keep them as pets. This is well portrayed here, particularly in verses one and two.
Imagery is poignant and vivid, it's very easy for the reader to 'see'the farmer trying to drive the animal away and it's attempts to win it's place within the family, eventually it succeeds, thanks to the wife and daughter.

Emotional Impact; The final verses, seven through eleven, brough a building sense of great catastrphe ahead, there was a hint in how the dog now stands guard, a definate difference from the playful nature he exhibited earlier. A well done start to a twist. That line immediately sharpened my focus on each word. Again, in every following verse, the images become more powerful, I could almost smell smoke and burnt hair.
I was in tears by the end of the last verse, sadness filled my heart at loss of such courage and determination. I think it was the very last line of this storem that had me weeping into the tissue... a wonderfully portrayed truth that one never realizes how deep an animal's friendship and caring can run until it is too late. I too, found myself wishing they had given him a name.

Favorite Verse; Nine, because it speaks of great love, courage, hope and to a point, disbelief in the outcome being successful.

Closing Thoughts; A poem that I think all people who enjoy tales of courage will greatly enjoy. I rated this one a 5.0 because I could find no grammer or punctuation errors and it touched my heart with a very deep compassion for those less fortunate, while being a wonderful example that even the homeless and forgotten, can prove to be the one who performs a miracle with no regard to personal loss or gain. A well told and important insight into life.

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

A thought provoking piece for so few words. The tittle and descriptive line are eye-catching and fit this story perfectly. I really enjoyed the style and pacing in this story, dialogue is real, believable and moves the story foreward very well. It is nicely interwoven between short, narrative passages that lend background, atmosphere and astrong sense of the town and it's population without being overpowering. This definately holds reader attention very well and increases interest and suspence. I did note a few minor things that I felt could improve the overall piece. Line Three; a comma after 'snow'.
'The smell of cherry tobacco filled the air.' [ I'd move this up a line and use it as a continuation after; 'The man brought out a pipe.'rather than making it a seperate sentence with a space between. ]
Try adding commas after 'George Worley' and again after 'John Fischer '
'fuesds '[ typo, should be spelled 'feuds.'
I found the ending satisfying and fitting to this piece. I particularly enjoyed it's refreshing plot and storyline, one most people could easily relate to with the very strong main character you have created here.

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Review of The Promise  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

A heart-wrenching and very memorable free-verse poem with a wonderful twist at the end, very nicely done ! I enjoyed the vivid imagery in this poem, it created strong, powerful pictures in my mind. I could clearly see location, and characters, something not easily accomplished in poetry. Each verse moves easily into the next, the rythm is strong and melodic. I have only a few pnctuation suggestions that I felt might help polish this piece.
Verse One; Periods after lines two and four, a comma between 'and' 'thanks ' [ line five]
Verse Two; Periods after Lines two and Four. Commabetween 'alon ' 'and ' [ line One]
Verse Three; Periods after lines two and four. Comma between 'me ' 'so '
Verse Four; Periods after lines two and four. Comma after 'man ' [line two] Comma after 'truth '[ line four] Comma after 'food'[ line five] Comma after 'stopped '[ line six]
Verse Five; Period after Line Two.
Verse Six; Period after line two.
Verse Seven; Periods after lines two, four. Comma after 'made' Comma after 'made '[ line four]
An excellent read I highly recommend to all.

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