|Hello, I am here to review your item in the spirit of goodwill and because it looked interesting to me.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only. Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:
Tittle, Description: Good tittle, but you might capitilize each word for maximum effect and noticeability. Description invites interest and fits your content well.
Contents, First Impressions: I liked this story because of it's strong message, you kept the POV character all through it. There is a strong sense of drama and anger here, yet hope underlies the story, very evident in the closing paragraph.
Plot: Interesting take on this theme.
Characters, Dialogue: I thought your main character was a powerful presence, yet, I had trouble really connecting to this being, obviously he/she was not human, can you give the reader a slight description of who this is, an Angel, being from another world? This would help readers care about why this particular being is so upset and add more depth to your story.
Dialogue is more like inner narrative, yet we know he is talking to a particular human, can you make that part more of a dialogue exchange?
ScotchTape: Suggestions, Typos :
Opening line, try not to use so many of the same words in one sentence. Maybe revise to something like;
Come, walk with me to see what has been left for us. I will show you what Humanity has left abandoned.
Paragraph Two, line one; 'shells'[ ruins sounds better in this context]
Line three; he He was called...
Paragraph Three, line seven; period needed after ' on '
Paragraph Five; 'your'[ you're ] using it as 'you are '
'... you're one too? Well than, ... [ always capitilize first word of new lines]
Forrest [ Forest] corrected spelling.
FAVORITE LINES OR PARTS:
FAVORITE PARTS; Paragraph Three, for it's strong dramatic arc. Closing paragraph, because it leaves the reader with a feeling of hope.
A plant, all alone, just waiting for the moment it can spread it's seeds. [renewal, rebirth]
Overall Thoughts and Rating: I think this story, with some revision and a strong edit for spelling, punctuation will be a wonderfully moving read with a strong and emotional message for all it's readers. I rated it as I did because it needs some work to become as strong as I think it can be and I will be happy to re-read and adjust my rating after it has been polished.
I enjoyed reading this story very much.
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