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1,413 Public Reviews Given
1,424 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I provide a detailed review that focuses on flow, storyline, characters and how the story touched me emotionally. I do not focus on grammer or provide extensive line by line edits on longer pieces.
I'm good at...
Character development, emotional content, dialogue, plot.
Favorite Genres
Horror, Dark, Action/Adventure, Thrillers, paranormal.
Least Favorite Genres
Vampire, werewolves, stories based on video games, fan-fiction.
Favorite Item Types
Fiction short stories or chapters.
Least Favorite Item Types
Essays
I will not review...
Erotica or really graphic 'slasher' type horror.
Public Reviews
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426
426
Review of The Monster  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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An interesting plot to this story. I enjoyed the sense of motion throughout, created by sentences such as;
'crept down the staircase.'
'..peeked around the corner..'
'..as she darted out..'
Mood and setting were strong and easy to visualize. Characters are alive and three dimensional. Mirabelle was very easy to visualize and relate to. The parents, although they seemed a touch callous to thier daughter's fear, were realistic.
Pacing is crisp and maintains reader interest very well. Dramatic build-up is very strong. The ending summed up all the questions and conflict well, and left the reader fulfilled and satisfyed with the conclusion.
SM Ferguson
427
427
Review of Just Hold Me Now  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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This poem is filled with a great deal of emotion. I enjoyedthe overall theme behind it.
The general flow of the poem was good, but I was a little confused by the placement of some verses. In your beginning verse, it appears this couple has been together for some time, however your closing verse indicates they've not yet come face to face. I felt this confusion might be helped by a transitional verse that portrayed a parting or clarifying the type of relationship, maybe by letters only or chats? [ Perhaps this is only a lack of understanding on my part]
FAVORITE LINES;
'My heart, so loudly beating,'
'And hearts of ours, forever pairing.'

LEAST FAVORITE LINES; [ These I felt rough and would benefit by a bit of editing and polishing to flow better with the lines before and directly after them.]
'This then is what I gave you'
' Do not throw it away this morning'
' With not a little bit of tarrying'
' You went and got me a diamond ring'
428
428
Review of Never forget...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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An interesting and rather chilling subject that fits this shape poem well.
There is powerful description in the first images that aids greatly in the following feelings of betrayal, madness and sadness underlying this poem as one studies it.
Although I am unfamiliar with this type of poetry, Ifelt it was a strong piece because of the way the subject matter was entwined in the construction.
I cannot see where I could helpfully suggest any changes or improvement in this piece other then the possibility that both words in the tittle should be capitilized.
SM Ferguson
429
429
Rated: E | (4.5)
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I enjoyed the humour and fast rythm of this poem. Each verse builds on a new segment of the kids growing up.
FAVORITE LINES;
"My screams were lost among teenage chatter.'
' They ripped holes in my jeans and called it 'the style.'
TOP FAVORITE LINE;
' Cuz I've found new interests - on writing.com.'

The last line was a perfect closure to this poem, leaving it in a positive and upbeat manner. A truly inspiring read for all ages!
SUGGESTIONS;
End lines with commas and try just using the periods at the end of each verse to maintain your rythm.
YOUR LINE;
' It's really okay. " I say, now that I'm calm.'
SUGGESTION; try like this, apostophes at both places as below...
' It's really okay, " I say, now that I'm calm,
430
430
Review of Dreams Lost  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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The idea behind the context of this poem is excellent, but I found it a little unclear exactly what your final realization for readers is at the end of the piece.
You do have a well developed sense of rythm in the poem.
SUGGESTIONS; [ Remember- these are only ONE reader's opinions]
FIRST LINE; I'd change 'is' to 'are'.
YOUR LINE;
'is it so much a cost' Try;
'could it be too steep a cost' [ deletes the double use of the word,'is', so close together.]
3rd LINE; VERSE TWO - I'd add 'it' between 'find' and 'kneel'
YOUR LINE;
'our fate is our clue'
SUGGESTION;
'OUR FATE BECOMES OUR CLUE'
I would also edit and polish the final two lines to clarify the meaning of what readers are asked to realize is true.
PUNCTUATION;
I's add a comma after each line and a period at the end of each verse. Also, try capitilizing the first word of each line.
I feel this poem contains an important message and with just a little editing and polishing, would become a very memorable poem.
SM Ferguson
431
431
Rated: E | (4.5)
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A very beautiful set of lyrics, rich in feeling and imagery. I particularly enjoyed the chorus because of the compelling and vivid pictures it invoked. One feels they are THERE in that moonlit night.
I did feel two lines felt a touch out of sync and slightly awkward to the rest of the song, but this is likely caused more by the difficulty in simply reading the lyrics as opposed to hearing the author's music with them. The lines are;
' visit jupiter and mars'
' wrapped tightly in embrace'
These just felt like they each had one or two words missing to hold the beat.
Again, I really felt the true problem there was caused by simply reading the lines.
Overall, a memorable piece that I truly enjoyed.
SM Ferguson
432
432
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

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A poingnant and emotional story for all readers. You feel an instant empathy for this individual. Writing is tight and to the point. I was touched to read how the self-doubts form in a child to create the emotional crippling in the adult.
The story is presented in a straightforward, factual manner, yet the underlying emotional trauma is easily grasped by the reader. I just have a couple of suggestions to tighten the writing;
YOUR LINES;
'..think will cause these memories to resurface themselves.' - Delete ' themselves.'
'..." with more to come.'
Try placing a comma after 'story' and delete the quotation marks around,' more to come.'
An enlightening and factual look into the life of a victim of abuse. Highly recommended read.
433
433
Review of The Cat's Meow  
Rated: E | (4.0)

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The photo of your cat was a very nice touch and I enjoyed the quote at the beginning of your essay. I also enjoyed your description of her as a kitten leading to how she is at eleven years old. It is always important to let people know by example that older pets indeed remain valuable, treasured companions. This was a particularly good part of your essay for me to see included.
I felt your section on the history of cats was both well researched and well done. The added links were a great addition, and I enjoyed learning about the 'first breed' of cats brought to America.
An interesting and informative piece for pet lovers.
SM Ferguson
434
434
Review of Malice Intended  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
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I liked the plot of this story, although I did feel it would hold stronger reader appeal if developed into a bit longer piece. A couple of scenes, ie:the groundskeeper's conversation, and the police confrontation at the ending felt a little rushed.
Your opening gave a good sense of place plus a glimpse into the main character, but left this reader with no real emotional involvement with the character.
Writing itself was tight and scenes flowed well into each other. There was a good build-up of suspense throughout the piece.
Dialogue between characters was for the most part believable, although I did feel the line;
'Do you mean it was much ado about nothing?' - a bit of a cliche, especially once we find out who the main character is.
Your ending did tie up all the threads nicely. I think you could make this into a very powerful mystery story with a good edit and by adding a little more detail and length to the story.
SM Ferguson
435
435
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Your tag line was interesting and was what caught my attention to begin reading, although I did feel that part might be developed a little more because the 'continous mail build-up' was brought to reader attention throughout the story. It did seem a bit off the girl would note mail under the door considering her character. I think the mail issue could easily be dealt with by a simple comment or two from the techs on why it's unretrievable or piling up?
I enjoyed the opening paragraph, setting is easily visualized and you've left plenty of room for reader imagination to add it's thoughts. Characters are well portrayed and entertaining. I particularly like the phrase;' her madman', a nice touch of humour.
Dialogue is humourous, believable and moves your story ahead effectively.
Plot and storyline were well thought out and fresh. Ending was very satisfying to this story, but one does sort of ' see it coming' as the programmers talk. However, I did feel it worked well in this story, it's not easy to generate empathy for a computer program as a character, and you managed it remarkably well.
My only suggestion would be to use more then one '#' symbol to show story and POV breaks and changes. The single symbol breaks reader concentration as it's easy to miss the break.
An entertaining and fresh read.
436
436
Rated: E | (4.0)
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This entire chapter captures reader interest very well. Your main character is well developed and three dimensional. One cannot help liking him despite what he's done. Supporting characters are also very clearly defined.
Your settings are well described and it is easy for the reader to 'step into' the character's world.
I did note a few spelling/ typo errors, easily fixed by a good edit.
EXAMPLE;
'waundered out loud', should be ,' wondered out loud.'
I found both the plot and storyline well developed and easy to relate to.
Dialogue is well done, believable and crisp. I liked that you didn't clutter it up with unrequired dialogue tags.
I would give this a thourough edit for punctuation and a few missed words. However, I did like the building up of drama and tension in this chapter. The ending was a great place to stop, certain to have readers turning the page to read on. Well Done.
SM Ferguson
437
437
Rated: E | (4.0)

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The opening paragraph provokes interest, but the setting was a bit unclear. I thought it was set in a classroom as a student/ teacher interest until later in the story. You do capture reader interest well. I did feel the first paragraph might have a better flow if broken down into two paragraphs, perhaps from;'Did I hear him right?' - [ just a personal opinion there]
I enjoyed the emotional ups and downs combined with anticipation in this story. Your ending was very fulfilling to the reader.
One other thought I had regarding the flow of the piece was many of the sentences were quite long with many comma splices. Perhaps these could be edited into a few shorter sentences to break up the pace and match story pacing to the emotional flow of the story? Pacing in paragraph two read much smoother to me then in paragraphs one and three.
Overall an enjoyable and compelling read I highly recommend to others.
Write On, SM Ferguson
438
438
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

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Excellent opening paragraph and lead-in. Gave credentials/ experience in regards to your subject, created great rapport with your readers and sparked interest quickly.
Ideas were laid out well and I found the piece very easy to follow. Your central message came through loud and clear without sounding preachy. Your disclaimer regarding 'suicidal' children was an important addition.
One thing I felt would have been a good addition to this piece would be an extra paragraph or two on reconizing signs of children who might be in danger of being depressed or possibly suicidal.
A helpful, informative read for all children's caregivers. SM Ferguson
439
439
Review of Dead End  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
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I found the opening scenes of this story a bit confusing as to whom the actual narrator was and to why this person was looking at Marge, yet imagining how she was dressed. The POV character felt like it needed a bit of work, one is unsure who the POV really is. A transition sentence or two would help maintain reader understanding in between where 'the old man requires his sleep.' and Marge telling us when the street quieted, did she feel the noise had kept him awake?
I also found it strange the narrator remained speaking to Marge after she'd decided to go to bed. It felt like you were caught between two points of view here.
The setting was hard to visualize, at first we think they're in a private residence, but the appearance of a nurse throws the reader into confusion, did we move to a nursing home?
Dialogue was good and believable, but we are again confused as to POV. Why is the narrator there for conversation?
The piece flows much better and the characters are more easily visualized once Ronnie comes into the story. I liked the investigator's crusty character.
Your ending ties up loose ends and solves the mystery, but it felt rushed. Readers did not have time to become emotionally engaged with any of the characters or thier plights.
I think a good edit and polishing would make this story a much more emotionally engaging read. Your plot and storyline were excellent and I think a good polish would make this story a very outstanding read.
Keep Writing! SM Ferguson
440
440
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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This story holds reader interest from beginning to end. I would definately say it should be continued. I rated it as a four only because it is unfinished.
I liked all the foreward motion in this piece, it never leaves the reader floundering to remember what just happened. Characters are alive and three dimensional. Settings are sharp and dialogue crisp and believable. I liked how you didn't clutter the story with dialogue tags, it read much better as it is.
Your plot is interesting with a fresh and rather surprising outlook on a pirates personality and beliefs. Very enjoyable!
Once completed this story would stand out as a most refreshing and well read piece. A compelling read as is.
SM Ferguson
441
441
Review of I Wonder  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

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This poem speaks of the interconnection of all things and how each choice affects others. It whispers of questions that can never be answered, yet keep us awake nights. I liked the metaphors of 'full dance card' and 'hiding behind the door'.
I felt this piece flowed well when read aloud, it has a natural rythm to it that allows the reader to stop and ponder it's full impact.
A good read with a heartfelt message.
SM Ferguson
442
442
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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The 'Set-Up' section of your story is an excellent sidebar to this story.
A heartwarming story of hope and new beginnings. You captured the symbology of the dream with great precision. Even the color of the bedroom spoke of 'brighter futures'. I found your story both interesting and inspiring.
The ending was packed with emotion and the vivid imagery of one released from grief. It speaks of life, love and the cleansing ability of tears to ease the overpowering sadness of grief.
Thank you for sharing this story. SM Ferguson
443
443
Review of My Plea  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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A haunting, memorable poem full of deep imagery and emotional impact. The pace and flow of this poem are well done. I particularly enjoyed the first verse, it grabbed both my attention and empathy.

I did note a few lines that read a little rough in comparison to the rest of your piece. [ Please keep in mind this is simply my personal thoughts as I was reading and you should write as you feel best fits your writing.]
LINES TO POLISH;
"But tonight my neck is kinked, averting my stare."
is there a similar way to write this with different words then 'kinked' and "stare"? They feel slightly off, more confrontational then question.

"It is the alchohol rambling, stammering to defend."
Can alchohol ramble and defend itself, or is it more the person under it's influence doing this?

"To learn what it is that feverishly grabs, drawing you."
I would delete 'grabs' and just use 'draws you.'

An excellent piece full of drama and real life trauma that so many must deal with daily. Thank you for sharing this poem. SM Ferguson
444
444
Review of Power  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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A dramatic and powerful flow of imagery from start to end. I liked the theme behind this piece, but it felt like a glimpse into what could have been a very powerful and compelling story if developed into a longer piece.
For instance, who is this main character? Can you develop a bit of backstory to let the readers see and identify with him?
YOUR LINE;
'The goblins were everywhere.'
SUGGESTION:
Use this point, or just prior to it, to establish a setting the reader can also walk through.. are they in a forest, clearing, city? Are there smells or sounds?
YOUR LINE;
..'his three companions..'
SUGGESTION;
Another great place to expand the story and let the reader enter in emotionally. Who are these companions, why are they with the main character? How is it they don't know of the POV's 'power'?
I would also like to suggest that your story would flow a little smoother if you added in some paragraph breaks, rather then giving it to the reader all in one 'gulp', so to speak. A good place for starting new paragraphs is where scenes or lines of action change.
EXAMPLE:
..NOT EVEN ASH REMAINED OF THE GOBLINS.... then a new paragraph for ,' HE THEN TURNED TO FACE HIS COMPANIONS..'

Your ending is very satisfying and dramatic. It fits this story very well and leaves the reader asking questions in a way that makes the entire story memorable. You have a wonderful flair for developing dramatic and vivid scenes. I really enjoyed your style of writing.
SM Ferguson
445
445
Rated: E | (4.0)
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I enjoyed the rythm of this poem. I also enjoyed the clear images you used to represent the colors and meanings of the flag. They painted vivid pictures for your reader, making it easy to lose oneself in the poem.
MY FAVORITE LINES:
'My flag cascades..'
'..with a rush of dazzling light..'

PERSONAL OBSERVATIONS/OPINIONS:
YOUR LINE:
..'it's tenderness urges..'
This line felt a bit awkward to me in the sense of ; 'can a flag feel tenderness or would it rather inspire tenderness? Perhaps there is a way to convey this thought more clearly?
I loved the emotions and sentiments this poem expressed. A very delightful read. SM Ferguson
446
446
Rated: E | (3.5)
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There is a very good rythm to this poem, although I felt a line between stanzas would define each verses message better for your readers.
I did note a couple of punctuation errors or typos.
LINE 6; you have both a period and comma after 'sheer.'
LINE 13; try using a comma between 'weary' and 'eternities'.
I would also suggest capitilizing the first word of each verse.
LINE 2; the word 'astound' read a little jarringly. Could you use another word here or perhaps the full,'astounded' to smooth out your rythm?
Overall, I felt this was a lovely, heartfelt poem. Keep Writing!
SM Ferguson
447
447
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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I enjoyed the way you mixed narrative and song lyrics to write this story. It kept the readers interest alive while adding a fresh twist to an old theme. Well Done!
You did an excellent job of setting mood and atmosphere early on and made it very easy for readers to identify with your main character. I also thought you painted a very clear perspective on Beth with the way you wove details into the backstory.
Your ending was satisfying, clearly showing the lesson behind the story without being heavy-handed or preachy. A truly enjoyable read.
SM Ferguson
448
448
Rated: E | (3.5)

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Your story maintains a consistent reflection of speech patterns throughout for the time period of the piece. I felt your plot had been well thought out and you gave the story a fresh twist. The ending felt rushed as a short story, but leaves many interesting threads for a book or a series of shorts.

MY PERSONAL OBSERVATIONS/SUGGESTIONS;
I thought this would be a much more dramatic read if you broke up some of the longer sentences with shorter ones. This varies the pacing to hold reader interest in a stronger way.
EXAMPLE;
Opening line, try placing the period after 'were dispatched' and begin a new line with 'These were..' Use a comma after 'place' or re-write for a tighter sentence.

YOUR LINE:
' Day and night they travelled and yet never did they feel weary...'
SUGGESTION;
'.. yet never did they nor thier steeds fall weary, despite the heat of a midsummer sun.'

Paragraph three could read much smoother if edited so it was not one continous sentence. You could add a bit more action to show how the people reacted to these men and why they reconized what they were. Did they have a distinguishing feature or talisman such as a crest or banner? What caused the people to react as they did? Details place the reader into the storys world and actions let us feel the emotional impacts.
I enjoyed reading your story because I felt strongly that it has great potential to become a truly fresh and dramatic read. It just needs some polishing and a good editing to bring out it's full potential. You have a great start here and I hope you continue working on it to develop the sub-plots hidden within the main story.
Write On! SM Ferguson
449
449
Rated: E | (4.5)
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A heartwarming story of a lovely family memory. I liked the warmth with which it was written and it is easy to feel a part of that snowed-in family gathering.
Your background settings were easy for your reader to picture. I felt I could hear the laughter and muffled whispers. Very nicely written. The inclusion of the recipe was a wonderful addition that I am certain many people will appreciate and enjoy.
Keep Writing! SM Ferguson
450
450
Review of In the Dark  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Great flow and a good sense of movement in the background. I enjoyed the building of suspense as well as the openings for reader imagination to fill in details. Readers get a very good sense of setting and characters.
The ending is an excellent summation and very satisfying!
Just one slight suggestion/opinion.
YOUR LINE;
' The room, now in total darkness.' read just a touch awkwardly in context to the action.
SUGGESTION:
' The room was plunged into total darkness.'
A tightly written and enjoyable read! Great job!
SM Ferguson
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