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1,413 Public Reviews Given
1,424 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I provide a detailed review that focuses on flow, storyline, characters and how the story touched me emotionally. I do not focus on grammer or provide extensive line by line edits on longer pieces.
I'm good at...
Character development, emotional content, dialogue, plot.
Favorite Genres
Horror, Dark, Action/Adventure, Thrillers, paranormal.
Least Favorite Genres
Vampire, werewolves, stories based on video games, fan-fiction.
Favorite Item Types
Fiction short stories or chapters.
Least Favorite Item Types
Essays
I will not review...
Erotica or really graphic 'slasher' type horror.
Public Reviews
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451
Review of Saturday Morning  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

A dramatic, tightly woven opening that makes you need to know what happens next. I loved the melding of sharp, rapid pacing with actions and dialogue.
I also enjoyed the humour in this story. It is a great compliment to the dramatic first scenes. The reader is not only placed into the story, but can relate to the main character because we've all been in his place.
A satisfying and hilariously ironic ending. This one is a must read.
SUGGESTION/ OPINION: I felt the line beginning with "Three hours later..." was a bit of a run-on sentence. Perhaps it would flow a bit smoother if made into a couple of shorter, punchier sentences. [ only a thought, it's great as is.]
A truly enjoyable read. SM Ferguson
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452
Review of I Got Stoned  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is an excellent, humourous little story well worth the read.
Grammer and spelling were perfect.
Story flow is smooth and draws the reader right into the character's mind. The reader has a clear insight into the thoughts and world of the POV character.
There is an excellent, vivid use of imagery that puts you right beside the character. My personal favorite; 'Blue-berry pancakes and thick sliced maple bacon.' You can smell and taste these- made my mouth water!
I would highly recommend this story to anyone who enjoys a light, humourous look into another's life.
Well done, keep writing. SM Ferguson
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453
Rated: E | (4.0)
An interesting viewpoint on a very real side-effect of the season. I enjoyed how this poem tells with dramatic, easily visualized images the two opposing sides of Yuletide, from the glittering lights to the darkness that can manifest within the soul.
As I read, I felt a multitude of emotions rise within, from joy, to wonder, to a deep empathy for anyone suffering the pain of seasonal disorder. I was very touched by the doubt tempered with hope invoked by the last line and in fact, that was my favorite line in this poem;
'Because I still shiver when it snows'
This poem strikes cords I am certain we all have felt to some degree when the holidays come upon us. I enjoyed the depth of feeling in this piece and will definately be reading more of this authors work.
Keep Writing, SM Ferguson
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454
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
An interesting story told from the POV of the victim. Very vivid background details, I liked how all five senses were used in the description. Dialogue in french gave great credibility and brought characters and setting to life.
One gets an excellent feeling for the time period this story was written in from the description of the crowd and the main character's defiance in the face of impending death.
I did note one spelling error near the beginning, 'tastes buds', should be 'taste buds'
Story is easy to read and holds the reader's attention easily. Keep Writing!
SM Ferguson
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455
Review of The Book  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

I liked the strong visual images in this story,
{i{EXAMPLE: 'smiling, dimpled, blonde haired moppet with hundreds of questions.'
This story has a smooth, powerful flow and I liked how the backstory was woven into the main narrative.
Characters were believable. This story made a good point about how young people can be drawn into bad experiences by books written on delicate subjects by authors with no real knowledge or moral obligation to thier subject matter.
This story does a good job of building horror and suspense, the ending is satisfying while leaving room for the reader's imagination to explore it's possibilities.
I would definately recommend this story to other readers who enjoy darker tales. Great Job!
SM Ferguson
456
456
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I found the beginning of this story to have an excellent hook, it caught my imagination with the many possibilities of what was to come. Characters and dialogue were believable, background details were nicely woven in. I felt the pacing and overall flow of the story conveyed the urgency of the situation. It was a very easy read.
The only thing that could have improved the story in my opinion was that the ending felt a little out of sync with the opening. It's hard to picture the family relaxing in front of smoky fires as they look at the remnants of thier burned home just days after a harrowing flight in which they nearly lost thier lives.
Just my personal opinion.
All together this is an enjoyable read I think most readers would enjoy. SM Ferguson
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457
Review of Path Not Taken  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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I enjoyed the rythm and flow of this Poem, there is a deep underlying tone of regret coupled with the understanding one cannot undo the past.
Images are sharp, clear and the reader can easily identify with the experience of the piece, don't we all wish we could change some part of our past? Reverse one wrong choice?
I did feel some punctuation would strengthen this piece and help the reader focus, thus drawing on thier imagination and experience to enhance the read,
SUGGESTIONS/ PUNCTUATION a question mark after 'atone.' Perhaps a period at the end of each stanza? How does it read to you with a comma after ecery second line- where thoughts change- such as after line 2?

I really enjoyed the emotional depth of this Poem. It has a haunting quality that lingers long after the read, you'll want to read it more then once.
SM Ferguson
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458
Review of The Journal  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I loved the strong opening to this Story, it gives one an immediate feeling of understanding and kinship with this character that remains throughout the piece. He could easily be your brother, close friend or relative going off to meet a destiny he should never have been called to face. Also an excellent contrast in thinking and showing of emotions between generations when the Father is introduced. Well Done! This story illustrates perfectly how quickly life can change.The ending is total 'shock treatment', that leaves you remembering this story long after you stop reading.
Setting and background images are clear and vividly given without stopping the flow of the story. Foreward movement remains strong throughout. I particularly liked how the moonlight was used to illustrate the landscape and open the soldier's thoughts to describe the constant tension brought about by the dust itself.
Many emotions are at play in this story and they fully engage the reader in thier grip.An irritation and frustration with how his life is turning out to a powerful sense of 'time moving too fast,' plays on the emotions well. There is a sense of deep family love too seldom expressed and deep sadness coupled by weary acceptance of an experienced officer at the horrendous tradgedies and waste of life in war. This story screams at you to question why humans insist on destroying good people and the planet fighting wars that cannot ever be truly won. Excellent Writing! I recommend you take time out to give this one a close read.
SM Ferguson
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459
Review of Anna  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: I enjoyed the mood this Story inspires of deep contemplation of life and how our decisions affect others.Your opening was crisp and grabbed my attention and interest quickly.I enjoyed the mixing of short with longer sentences which kept the pacing consistent with the tone of the story.Description was very good although I would have liked to see more of the senses such as taste, smells and colors used to describe the 'treasures one could behold', and 'the delights of the island.'I think this would have more vividly placed the reader in the scenes. I did like the way you introduced the backstory which gave a glimpse that these people had lives prior to the story. I felt a bit of dialogue might have broken up the narrative and helped the reader get a feel for the old man's anxiety more as he attended to his hurt wife and raced time to get her help. Also to make the story stronger where James and Mary were trying to convince him to leave.
SUGGESTIONS: The paragraph describing Anna felt slightly out of context in the middle of the tradedy taking place,you might want to try shuffling it to just prior to the walk where Anna actually is hurt, I felt this would maintain the flow better with the accident and her husband's desperate attemp to help Anna. The paragraph where James and Mary leave is a little rough in places, perhaps shorten the second line from;'all on his own.' to simply 'alone.'?
Your closing paragraph sums up the story nicely but I found the second to last line a bit confusing, perhaps 'change 'as' into 'to' or a similar word? Altogether a very enjoyable read with excellent drama and self reflection. SM Ferguson
460
460
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

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A Truly moving and heartfelt Poem that speaks of love,pain, loss and sorrow.The background imagery of the yellow dog, the siamese cat and the female energy all serve to lead the reader vividly into the experience. I felt sadness at the Father's passing mixed with joy for his release from pain. The overall emotional impact of this piece is excellent, I particularly liked how the last two lines were seperated as well as the words themselves.
I did find myself a bit confused by the sudden subject change from the description of the house and tree to the mother's bluebird- it felt a line was missing here that broke the rythm slightly.However that very omission serves to emphasize the sudden absense felt after a loved one passes-it works as a metaphor of the vacancy left by death. I also felt at least every second line should be capitilized at the beginning to mark a new sentence/thought starting. It took much courage and caring to share this poem, well done and may the song of the mocking bird ever soothe you. SM Ferguson
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461
Review of Please Choose Me  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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A Short Story laced liberally with charm and humour.I could picture young Jeremy clearly,looks,emotions,fears,hopes,dreams-all were there, salted tantilizingly throughout this story. I was particularly taken with the description of Jeremy's care not to step on the white tiles,all children have these little 'good luck rituals', it took me back to my own childhood.
Jeremy's thoughts and actions raise a wealth of bittersweet emotions in the reader as they share his yearning for a family.Had he been a child I met in real life,I'd adopt him myself,who could resist him?
The plot and flow of this story was excellent, supporting characters were all clearly defined and I saw no spelling, punctuation, grammer or typing errors. I was a bit dissapointed that the ending didn't reveal if Mariana adopted Jeremy or not, but one's heart said she did and it certainly inspired me to write a similar story of an abandoned child finding his perfect family along with all the doubt at remaining with them and the final jubilation of realizing that the child was indeed home. A Great read and a creativity inspiring story for all who value family life. Excellent work. SM Ferguson
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462
Rated: E | (4.5)
An enjoyable Short Story with a wonderful message for all. I enjoyed the light way the author got thier point across in this story.The opening sentence quickly catches the imagination with it's unigue tone. I enjoyed the short, no fluff writing style which succeeded in salting enough vivid background images throughout to let the reader's imagination take hold and really see this house as thier own. I love pieces that allow the reader to use thier own imagination as well. Excellent use of suspense building as one wonders whom the final victor will be. The ending summed up the story well and left me completely fulfilled from the read. Only two little nits that are just a humble opinion. I felt the very last sentence might read smoother by changing 'and welcomed'; to 'who welcomed' as well as changeing 'and be' to the words;'to be'. I'd recommend this as an uplifting read for all. Keep Writing,SM Ferguson
463
463
Review of The Magic Shop  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I enjoyed the flow and rythm of this Story from start to end. Paragraphs and events flowed smoothly one to the next and your characters were strong, richly drawn and believable. I saw no errors in spelling, grammer or punctuation. I particularly enjoyed the way the grandmother taught the little girl that magic exists in all people and existence - well done! Exellent slant and message in the way the grandmother tested the young man's motive and inner strengths before offering him a 'potion' of a kind where he actually helped himself. Exellent portrayal there of how true magic is performed by witches. A beautifully crafted and enjoyable story I would recommend to anyone.
Keep Writing, SM Ferguson
464
464
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:First thing that jumped out was your tittle line, it would be more of an attention grabber if centered on page with Chapter One spelled out below tittle. Your opening dialogue is interesting, believable and conveys immediate urgency and empathy in the reader. It puts the reader right into the scene. Your plot is good, original with an interesting sequence of events that could flow well into the next chapters. Chapter One does need some editing and poloshing to get the reader there with you wanting to read that next chapter however. I did like your ending to this chapter as one immedialetly wonders how Jeff plans to change the world.
SUGGESTIONS: I found your paragraphs very long and suggest you break them up into shorter paragraphs to hold the rythm you began with, urgent, quick.One way you might do this is to end your first paragraph with the fact the baby was born stillborn. Begin a new paragraph when you describe the hospital. Dr, Oconnell coming on duty could be a third, etc. I'd also suggest editing your second line to end at 'visible in the air.', If we can see his breath, it's cold- but why is it so cold in the hospital? It can be cold and brisk outside, but it wouldn't be so in a delivery room.You might want to re-think that line. A hospital bed cannot be 'numb', it's inanimate, Make this two sentences or delete numb. I also noted a few other inconsistencies that really detract from holding your reader due to confusion and believability. The Doctor might well be thinking he'd wished he'd come in later, but he'd be focused on the situation-he might have those thoughts as inner dialogue as he gave orders to the nurses to remove Jeff or told him he'd have to leave, but it would be a quick flow of impressions. Nurses would not 'throw' the husband into the corridor, they'd escort him there or call orderlies to take him to a waiting room. Nurses don't get shoved into corridors to give people bad news- they'd sue the hospital and the Doctor would be the one to give the patient status, news of death to the husband. Your story is out of sequence here- earlier you said she was dead on the doctor's arrival, then she dies after husband is removed- you need to edit and clarify this- the Doctor's dialogue and facts of death are excellent and he'd give time of death in the room to be recorded by nurses for death certificate, he would also however be the one to go out and give the husband the news and offer condolences, sympathy.
Your story 'Tells' too much of the details, let the reader's imagination work some here too. When Jeff arrives at his burnt out house- let them see, smell and feel the scene through Jeff, maybe through his inner dialogue. Was the fire the cause that led to the wife going into labour or is the burnt out house an added and unexpected surprise for Jeff? You need to clarify here. The neighbor is not just going to hand Jeff an insurance form, he's going to want to know about Jeff's wife, how Jeff is- you can use this section to build emotion, empathy for Jeff in the reader, add drama to your story. No matter what, Jeff isn't going to just get the money the first day, buy a car and boot out of town. He has to bury his wife, wait for insurance money- it's just facts of life. Use that time to show his grief, his inner conflict, his decision to change the world, he talks out loud to his wolf, a great medium for adding these details.
You have the beginnings of a wonderfully exciting tale and novel here. Get the story down on paper, edit, check and re-check your notes to keep story sequence in flow and go for it! This one has great promise and if you let me know when you've edited and added another chapter, I'd be delighted to change my rating and read more of this novel. Keep Writing! SM Ferguson
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465
Review of Pas de Deux  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: I thought your plot had much potential,this could be quite a captivating piece with a little editing work.I liked your opening line, it really inspired my interest, but I felt the story needed more detail, who are they? What causes the character to grieve?
COMMENTS/SUGGESTIONS: I found your use of the brackets very confusing, you seemed almost to be writing from two seperate plot ideas? Perhaps, in the first lines, you could remove the bracket and add clarity and better flow by changing the opening line to something like: 'I can almost see them dancing althoughfrom my fall off the tower.' Then perhaps the character/narrator could shift attention to or describe who he'd wished had grown her hair back and why, perhaps as inner dialoge rather then in brackets? They really seemed to lose the focus and flow of the story for me. A transition paragraph or line about a ball ocurring and then giving the reason for it would flesh out your story, details of whom 'he' is would helpand create another character for interaction. Pretty much the same thoughts for the rest of the piece, more description of the Duchess, a bit more explanation on how the character tried to provide a normal life for one generation, how other generations were abnormal maybe? You have the promise of an excellent Fantasy tale here,I'd enjoy reading it again after you edit it. Great ideas and interesting characters. Keep Writing!SM Ferguson
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466
Review of They Wait  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A very astute view of life in a Retirement Home.I liked the fast pacing of this Story achieved by short paragraphs filled with detail and action.It added depth to the urgency the Ladies felt while waiting for visitors that never arrive.Dialogue was realistic, catching reader interest both by the conversation and the ladie's intent interest each time a car slows out front. The dialogue also provides excellent insight into both the personalities of the characters as well as the limited scope of thier world. This story contains a poignant message to how 'society' tends to 'hide away' and isolate the elderly rather then take time to listen and learn from thier experiences. I enjoyed the light, humourous tone used to convey a powerful feel of the combined loneliness and never-ending hope of the elderly that one day, thier children will not be too busy to spare them some time. Your ending sums this story up with both flair and emotion. I found no grammer, spelling or punctuation errors, if they were there, the powerful draw of the story far over-shadowed them. Well Done! SM Ferguson
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467
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I enjoyed the history of Marie Laveau and her daughter, it added a great depth for getting a feel for the lyrics.Your choice of music was perfect, especially the deep toned drum beats.Goes with the subject matter perfectly.[A Few good guitar slides like T-Rex was famous for could add a hint of mysticism as well] Tittle is great and would be eye catching on a CD list. Lyrics flow seamlessly- each verse leads perfectly to the next, weaving the story around the reader. Words are powerful, clear and simple. People could easily memorize and sing along as well as have them haunt the subconscious-always great for a replay *Bigsmile* If you enjoy lyrics that tell a story, give this one a read- you'll be glad you did ! SM Ferguson
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Review of A Day To Remember  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Humour sparkles out from your poem," A Day To Remember", that combined with the effects of aging on mind and body viewed in the same half-humourous, half serious way it's presented, serves to give one insight into the importance of remembering and the joy of experiencing love at any age.
FAVORITE LINE: 'My bones creak and my mind grows colder'.
SUGGESTIONS:I found the use of all capitals a bit distracting, but it did emphasize the points of the poem. You might want to just capitilize the first word in each verse and then use writingML to put the whole poem in bold or perhaps also put some lines in italics to emphasize and make lines stand out - the end of the last line in particular to emphasize the joking intention. I noticed one typo- you put SHELL, I think you meant SHE'LL ?
This was a great and fun read I highly recommend to anyone.I really enjoyed this poem. Great Work!
SM Ferguson
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469
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: produces strong feelings of despair tempered by undertones of hope and a desire to move foreward a stronger person. Very nice rythm to these Lyrics, with a ballad type presentation. I liked the use of the images of water cleansing body and soul-creates a strong message of inner renewal.
FAVORITE LINES:"She stands in the shower- Tears running down her face", "Through the distance and time- She always kept the faith"
LINES FELT NEEDED WORK: Verse [A] One; 'The pain feel inside', rythm is off here- perhaps you meant 'felt' instead of 'feel'?
Verse [B]; I felt the word 'stronger' would have more impact then just 'strong'- smoothes out the rythm. The comma might work better after 'again'
[A] Third Verse; First two lines sound off- I felt they might work smoother as something like;
'The water washes her body
'As she tries to cleanse her soul'
spelling error- 'bare' should be 'bear' in this context.
OVERALL; A powerful, moving set of lyrics with an excellent message.I enjoyed this piece and feel with a bit more polishing, you'd have an outstanding set of lyrics here.Good Work! SM Ferguson
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Review of Blood on my Hands  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A Poem rich with emotion and feeling. It holds a very broad message to ponder over. This piece invoked feelings of sadness, lost innocence and the loss of the soldier's, a part of himself.
Poem has a nice, easy rythm to it, allowing the reader time to reflect on it's message. I did note one spelling error or typo in verse one, last line,, I believe you meant the word 'wost' to be 'worst'?
A very nice job. Keep Writing, SM Ferguson
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471
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

Your short story, "The Smallest Rebellion", hits all the right buttoms. Great building of suspense and a feeling of anticipation in the reader all through this piece.Jimmy is a fully fleshed out character who just jumps off the page. Background details are well done, one gets a feeling of being there yet they are subtle enough to lead the reader's mind into many possible scenarios before the ending- I pictured two, computer techs revolting after a merger and a counselling/support group revolting over unfair treatment. *Smile* You got me, I laughed until I cried at the ending.Great Job! If anyone needs cheering for any reason - this story is a must read ! SM Ferguson
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472
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Your questions were well thought out and interesting.I liked the option to view the correct answers after taking the quiz as well, a very nice touch there. Favorite question was 'which of these is not written by Stephen King', least favorite was about the name of the son in Cell- I felt a change of question from naming characters would add interest. *Smile* The only thing missing here I'd have liked to have seen as a slight change of pace were a question on some of his earlier novels, example, what was Stephen King's first novel. Again, that is just my quirky and humble opinion. I would recommend this to all King's fans. Well Done. SM Ferguson
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473
Rated: E | (2.5)
Your poem holds within it a deep sense of inner loneliness and confusion. The idea being expressed here intrigued me. You might want to try breaking the long lines down into shorter ones so the piece flows with better rythm, Example:
"When I cry I cry alone" [ begin new line] Also your second line I felt was confusing, what do you mean by 'mom alone', I assume you refer to being a mother, but the line as it is doesn't make sense to me, perhaps something like 'When I am mom, I stand/work alone? I liked the line 'When I die I am reborn', but the line, 'When I fight for the greater good seemed to have no relevance here, maybe add a line before or after as a type of explanation intro to this feeling?
'When live am sworn too defend too the bitter end', first, the too in this line should be with one 'o' as to. Again this line is out of context, defend what, to the bitter end of life or the battle? Your second verse seems a little redundant as it simply repeats the first. Perhaps you'd want to change a few words here to reinforce your idea but from a slightly different perspective, maybe the battle is finally won, maybe it continues in a different way? Your imagery in this piece is good and I think with a little work it can be a really good piece. Keep Writing! SM Ferguson
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Review of The Sonnet  
Rated: E | (4.5)
An amusing and informative little sonnet, First line explains 'There's only fourteen lines in a sonnet", this is good for one studying to write sonnets, then the piece goes on to describe just how hard it can be to achieve those fourteen lines and the sheer determination of a writer to ' get it done no matter how long it takes as well as his emotional state while doing so.' A very nice look into a writer's mind and world. Favorite Line:" If the bug hits you, you will know it's true". I enjoyed the humouros spirit and imagery created in this entire piece. The ending is a perfect summation as you know the writer is going to be up writing of sailors or love in the very near future and you cannot wait to read of those efforts.
Wonderful read and I couldn't find one thing I'd change, I did notice what I felt was a spelling error in line 12, did you intentionally use the spelling 'repitwar' ? Or did you mean ' repitoire'? It is perhaps my newness to this type of poetry that caused the confusion for me here.
Keep Creating ! SM Ferguson
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Review of Memories Unmade  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
The excerpt from your upcoming novella 'Yellow Bandana', is so full of plot possibilities, absolutely fascinating, I look forward to see where you take this piece. I especially enjoyed 'the trees know it all', and 'It's because thier perception of time isn't continous.' Now that raises interesting possibilities for readers.Completely opens up the imagination. I loved the easy flow of this piece, characters are likeable, dialogue believable and paces the story well. Held my interest from opening line to where you went on to the poem. 'Unmade Memories', is a very enjoyable read and fits nicely with your novella. Wonderful use of imagery to bring up the possibilities of timelines and alternate realities. Speaks of questions in quantum physics. Overall mood is one of wonder mixed with regret, leaves the reader contemplating it long after they finish reading. The only part I didn't like were the two lines at the end where the Bloom speaks, I think it just needs some punctuation to break it up, I found I needed to read it a couple times to catch the flow again. I am looking forward to coming back and reading this piece as you get more posted, a most refreshing and contemplating read. Great start to what should be a wonderfully compelling novella. I'd be delighted to return and re-evaluate my rating once it is more complete. Keep Writing!
SM Ferguson
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