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351 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I am honest and respectful, and try to be as diplomatic as possible when I review a piece of writing. I use a template to cover most writing elements, as well as giving you my personal thoughts and feelings about it. I rate fair and equal to the review I give, but I only give a rating of 5 if the piece is perfect, in my opinion.
Favorite Genres
Mystery, adventure, paranormal, historical, disaster/survival, political, detective, young adult, animal, folklore, comedy, inspirational, nature, romance, and fantasy
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, psychological, gangster, western, steampunk
Favorite Item Types
Flash fiction, short stories, blogs, chapters of novels, and essays.
Least Favorite Item Types
Articles, non-fiction
I will not review...
Technological, erotica, gay/lesbian, whole novels or novellas all at one time.
Public Reviews
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101
101
Review by Dee
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hi x.Amaranthene.x.


*StarV* HOW I FOUND YOU *StarV*

I found your story as I was browsing the newbie area in the menu.

*StarV* MY THOUGHTS *StarV*

I found your "Dear Me" letter, and I wanted to do a brief review on it. Although your letter is not an official entry and it is fairly brief, I felt that you really understood yourself, that you made a commitment to the goals you want to accomplish. It's obvious that you want to confront the things that can distract you from completing those goals in advance, and I think you did a good job despite the brevity of the letter.

You seem to realize the distractions and real life problems that are often the obstacles to finishing a goal, as evidenced by your habits that you discussed. You wrote a great little letter to remind yourself of what you find to be important. And it was important enough for you to sit down and actually write this letter. Bravo!

*StarV* FINAL COMMENTS *Star*

So I'd like to say good luck, and I wish you all the best in your goals. I believe you will complete your desire to write your novel. When you do, please post it for the community to review.

Take care.


         Dee

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102
102
Review by Dee
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Hi Tim. I'm Dee, a member of the WDC Power Reviewers.

*StarV* HOW I FOUND YOU *StarV*

I found your poem looking through your port, after finding your name in the author list.

*StarV* MY THOUGHTS *StarV*

I saw many interesting and well-written poems in your port, but I suppose I chose this one because it speaks of writing professionally, which many of us dream about. I wanted to perceive your take on this endeavor. Your Title told the premise of the poem with no room for wonderment. I think you conveyed with both your verbiage and imagery, the idea of the challenges we have to overcome to reach the opportunity of becoming a professional, as evidenced by these two lines:

A bridge overrun with trolls
Whose fate is to charge us tolls.


Could you be speaking of pesky editors and publishers, who require we pay certain "tolls" before becoming a professional writer? I wondered if I read this with the proper understanding.

I see you used the Alternating AA, BB, Rhyming Scheme for your three stanza Quatrain. I saw only one use of Alliteration, with the words blessings/bestow in the last stanza, and no Assonance used. I'm new to poetry myself, so I am not certain if you are following a form I'm not familiar with, or not.

I liked that you used the author's thoughts to open the poem--thinking about writing professionally, and referencing the hope of having a "gifted pen," or talent.
The Mood of the piece is contemplative, rather than happy, sad or any other intense emotion. I also liked that you spoke about using our mind and our creativity to add depth to the words we have within us (or within our hearts). The idea you put forth to write with meaning and depth and to take advantage of the opportunities that present themselves is inspiring. Also, conveying the idea that we need to believe in and have faith in ourselves and our ability was also positive. You incorporate that positivity and an optimistic attitude about living life and using our experiences in our writing in such a way that inspires!


*StarV* FINAL COMMENTS *StarV*

For a short poem, I truly enjoyed this read. I was warmed by the uplifting thoughts you evoked. Nice work. I will be reading more of your poetry.

Dee

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103
103
Review by Dee
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello slowmotionsunset.

*StarY* HOW I FOUND YOU *StarY*

As I searched through the Authors list, I saw your port and this piece of poetry.

*StarY* MY THOUGHTS *StarY*

I loved the Title of your poem. Chester's Bookshop gives such wonderful connotations of warmth and comfort, that I could almost see that tabby curled up around one of his favorite books.

I think your poem will resonate with other readers who have a love of old bookshops from our memories. I liked that Chester is shown to have his favorite tales (pardon the pun), just like a reader would.

The sadness of the shop burning, left a void as I read. I felt empathy for Chester, not having his comfort zone any longer, but also because an old shop itself was disappearing forever.

You did an excellent job with Description and Imagery. I truly felt like I was looking through a keyhole at this place in time.

I found myself immersed in this piece. I enjoyed reading and experiencing it.

Very nice work, indeed!

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104
104
Review of The Hit  
Review by Dee
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Hello Missy! I'm Dee, a member of the WDC Power Reviewers.


*StarV* HOW I FOUND YOU *StarV*

I found your story "The Hit," when searching through the "Read A Newbie" area of the menu.

*StarV* MY THOUGHTS *StarV*

First, since this is a Flash Fiction piece, you come in with 290 words, just under the average 300 for the typical flash piece or contest entry. Good work. It isn't easy writing flash fiction. I happen to love reading it, and I'm working on honing my own skills writing it.

The Title and Genre are "hits" of their own, since the title, "The Hit" is almost self-explanatory, especially when you combine it with the crime/gangster genre, which is still so popular today. Adding the touch of sci-fi made this story much more unique. Nice combination!

A Plot surrounding a hitman and their target isn't unusual, but as I like to point out to writers when I read their stories, you put a great little twist on a classic type of story! You made the "target" a bit more difficult to hit because he is surrounded by some type of force field. Wow, what a concept! But I admit, I was curious about it since there was no other mention about this force field, other than the fact that the hitman would have to wait until it dropped.

The Characters and their Dialogue fit the piece, and their words and actions were true to their positions. Nothing out of place here. No cardboard cutouts. Their demeanor was action related, to the point, and fast paced. For flash fiction, this works really well.

Your use of Punctuation and Grammar were very well executed (pardon the pun!) I only saw one use of passive voice, (that being the phrase, "Payment will be delivered.)

*StarV* FINAL COMMENTS *StarV*

But I'm still wondering how the force field dropped so the hitman could kill him. That's the only reason I rated this a 4.0. I felt that this information really needed to be in the story somehow, referencing how or why it dropped or dissipated enough for the hitman to get to him.

This is a cool piece of writing regardless, and I enjoyed reading it! I could see this glimpse as part of a larger story. Good luck with it, if you chose to expand it.


         Dee

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105
Review of Black silhouette  
Review by Dee
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I actually like this poem, even though dark poetry isn't something I normally gravitate to. But the idea that the author realizes the mirror reflects them or their past so precisely is fascinating in a macabre sort of way.

It strikes me that the author is perhaps depressed and doesn't see the hopeful, positive colors of light and openness, and that the mirror, although it sees a few slivers of "muted earth-toned pastels," perhaps a person with a few strands of positivity and hope, those few slivers or wisps are not what is "reflected" by the mirror, and the author sees them self in this manner.

I hope I understood your poem to some degree, but either way, it was an emotional piece of writing and a very personal piece. These are the most difficult (I think), to be able to understand and review with any real insight into what the author was trying to make the reader see and feel.
I felt empathy for the author, and that sadness is to this poem, what paper is to words.

A moving piece of writing that I enjoyed. Thank you for sharing.


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106
106
Review by Dee
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Hello Bdot! I'm Dee, a member of the WDC Power Reviewers.


*StarV* HOW I FOUND YOU *StarV*

I found your poem in the "Please Review" area.

*StarV* MY THOUGHTS *StarV*

Anyone who reads my reviews knows that I always start with the Title. Your title, Sleeping In the Grass," peaked my curiosity. I instantly had questions pop into my mind like, what are they going to dream about while they sleep? But then I realized, it might not be about a dream, exactly. I couldn't quite make the connection of the title of the poem to the writing unless the title is more of a metaphor. If so, could it be about how life passes us by, or how even while living life we really don't know what will become of anything or anyone? I'll be honest, I am not sure I know what the author is trying to express. I hope I do, but if I didn't, I'd love to learn what you intended to convey.

However, that being said, I really enjoyed the reading of this poem. There is something pleasing about it, perhaps it's tone of continuity and consistency that appealed to my senses. The Rhyme Scheme was kept to three to four syllables, and sounded good to the ear, keeping true rhyme.

Construction: I'm not sure if using clouds'll and birds'll will work best or not, but you could use clouds will and birds will, without losing the rhyme or the flow. I found the the 'll form hard on the eyes while reading.

I think there should be a comma after 'fly' and 'songs.'
The widow sleeps (in my opinion) sounds easier to read than widows sleep, but that could be a judgement call rather than grammar.


*StarV* FINAL COMMENTS *StarV*

I don't have a lot of comments to make, as I'm new to poetry, myself. But I know what I like, and I like this poem very well. I believe it has much potential. The clarity I spoke about could just be me not grasping what you were trying to express, but if anything I am commenting on makes sense to you, hopefully, it will help you decide about continuing to work with this piece. I think you should work with it further. As I said, I find it a soothing poem to read or hear aloud. And it seems to have an underlying theme, even though I may or may not have recognized it.

         Dee

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107
107
Review of Sarcasm  
Review by Dee
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and that's very true! But I would have loved to have read a few examples of this handy attribute from your life experiences. I think it would make a humorous smattering of anecdotes! I too find sarcasm to be one of the more highly underrated tools in life. I use it frequently both in my writing and in the real world. And it adds so much to a character's personality, not to mention in reality.

Very funny quote!
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108
Review of CHEAP - O - AIR  
Review by Dee
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Hi Crow. I'm reviewing one more of your items this week.

*StarV* HOW I FOUND YOU *StarV*

I found your poem in the Comedy section of the Genre menu.

*StarV* MY THOUGHTS *StarV*

This Title has built-in humor! Cheap -O- Air is really quite funny! In fact, I believe I've flown on Cheap -O- Air before!

What I Liked Best
: I enjoyed this piece because not only did it make me laugh, it reminded me of why I don't fly anymore! I've been on a few planes where you wouldn't believe what happened with "parts!" Your humorous look at flying is more like non-fiction to me!

Construction: I think it would benefit by separating it into four stanzas. I did have to read it twice before I got into the rhythm and flow of it. Also, someone told me once that centering a short poem somehow makes it read better. I did that to one of my poems, and it got a better review than when I left it on the left margin.

The Rhyme Scheme works pretty good, but the last line, They'll put you in your grave, although it rhymes, I had to read the syllables in a slightly different rhythm to get the rhyme to sound spot on. I think if you just add "Air" to "Cheap -O" in that last line, it will rhyme so much easier.

Overall Feeling: I loved this poem!! Good job with it! If I ever fly again, it will never be a cheap airline! LOL!


         Dee

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109
109
Review of One to Australia  
Review by Dee
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)


Hi x.Amaranthene.x! I'm Dee, a member of the WDC Power Reviewers. Welcome to WDC! I thought I'd read your story today and review it for you.

*StarV* HOW I FOUND YOU *StarV*

I found One to Australia while I searched the short story category in the main menu.

*StarV* MY THOUGHTS *StarV*

I always start with the Title of a story, since it's the first thing that catches my eye. Your title, One to Australia snagged my attention, because I have always been fascinated with Australia, (although I've never had the pleasure of visiting it). So I wanted to read your tale. I found the title interesting because I wasn't sure if it referred to a ratio, like one-to-ten, etc. I'm still not certain what the meaning of the title is in relation to the story, but I am curious about it.

The Genres you chose were young adult, thriller/suspense, and comedy. That combination made my eyes open up. I found it a fascinating, indeed! I would say that suspense and comedy were spot on! Categorizing it to be a young adult story certainly could be appropriate. I think the crime/gangster category describes the content more directly since your characters are speaking in a manner that gives the impression of a crime family. Examples: using the word "Boss," and of course, the guns in the story. I could see the "crime/gangster" aspect working well with the more humorous parts (having to do with the babysitting). A thriller tends to be darker in nature, with other elements, focusing more on illegal activities, international espionage, sex, and violence. It's often a detective story.

To return to the element of Suspense, I definitely felt it throughout the story. Nice work keeping me on the edge of my seat. I thought the Boss was going to shoot them if they continued to question the mission. The comedy aspect came at the exact proper moment, the end of the story. If the mission had been revealed earlier, it would have stolen the comedy from it, but you kept the revelation until the last possible moment. I had a good laugh once Boss told them about babysitting his son. Completely unexpected! Good work with this!

Your Characters actions were believable and consistent with a gangster type. While the Dialogue did move the story forward, I admit, the statement made by Alejandro didn't sound like something a subordinate would say to the "Boss." In this line, Alejandro says: "What if I don't want it?" I would think he'd be too afraid of the Boss to say that. It's just something I thought while reading it. Perhaps, he wasn't afraid of the Boss, until after the Boss points the gun at him. Of course, you will know best, the attitude of your characters and how they should play out.

The Plot works well. We know the Boss has something he wants his underlings to do for him, although we believe it's something nefarious in nature. They aren't sure they want to do whatever it is the Boss wants (the conflict), rather than what it turns out to be in the end, (the comedic part). It is a short piece of writing, so for this piece, it works well. If you are planning to expand the story, more conflict would be needed to create the aspects needed for a thriller, in order to keep the suspense throughout the writing, unless you decide to keep it a lighter piece.

What I Liked Best about the story was the humor we get from it once we realize they aren't going to be asked to do something criminal. Alejandro and Ruben acted as though they knew from experience that the "mission" wasn't going to be fun. It added much suspense and humor to the story.

What I Liked Least about the story was the phrase at the end of the piece, "to Australia and beyond." I knew they drank a toast, but again, I don't understand the reference in that toast. If the title of the story and this toast are important, and as a reader I missed it, perhaps you could add something that explains the reference. Although, it's nothing to worry about unless it's critical to your story.

Punctuation and Grammar seem to be handled well. I didn't see anything that pulled my attention to it. Good job with the mechanics.

*StarV* FINAL COMMENTS *StarV*

I think this is a good story with a funny ending. As with all stories, there are things we can do to improve them. For instance, you wrote:

"Well, what's the job then, boss?" Ruben asked.
"You'd like to know?" He teased us, kept us waiting, making us want to know what he had planned for us.


Instead of the boss just teasing them, maybe he could imitate something to make them think they know what he is about to ask them to do. It could add further suspense and fear in Alejandro and Ruben.

Once you receive a few reviews, you can decide if and what changes you might want make, what works best for you, or if you even wish to change anything. Only you know the feeling you want the reader to have.

I hope you found this review helpful. If you revise it in any way, be sure to let me know and I'll be glad to review it again. I look forward to reading more of your writing in the future.


         Dee

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110
110
Review by Dee
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Invalid Photo #1045423

Hello Crow. I'm Dee, a member of the WDC Power Reviewers.


*StarV* HOW I FOUND YOU *StarV*

I found your article searching the category menu. When I saw what it was about, I *had* to read it!

*StarV* MY THOUGHTS *StarV*

First of all, I happen to love typewriters. I no longer own one, but I did years ago before the wonderful world of computers arrived. I owned a manual typewriter and a word processor. I share your appreciation for these efficient tools, and even wish I had room for one in my truck!

The Title of the article says it all. A World of Typewriters is short, descriptive, and to the point.

I was intrigued by your Description Line beneath the title because I wanted to see how you were going to show people why they deserve to be remembered. I wasn't disappointed.

The Descriptions you chose to make your points were some of the best! I couldn't agree with you more. The sound of a typewriter is pure inspiration at its best! You can feel the words fly out of your fingertips as you type away. It's an incredible feeling. One cannot escape the psychological effect of feeling more productive and knowing that it's the writing that counts using a typewriter, rather than the fancy features that tend to distract us using computers. There is something very special about handwriting and typing that still appeals to people, making the product "feel more real." Again, you described these ideas and how some people still feel this way after all these years, giving typewriters the tribute they deserve.

You made Excellent Points bringing up how the typewriter was used in almost everyone's life, from the student to the secretary and then some! You showed the reader how the typewriter was to the business world, what the computer is today. Although it did not offer any other features like a computer does, your point regarding the ability to be portable, and always able to be used, (not requiring power to do so), was it's most important asset.

One of the points I Liked Best was how you touched on the various makes and models of typewriters, even going as far as explaining the differences between them and the reason for the pricing. Your style of writing was fast paced, easily understood, and interesting.


*StarV* FINAL COMMENTS *StarV*

I Especially Liked how you commented about Tom Hanks, and how he still uses a typewriter to write. I chuckled a bit about that, because although I don't have room in my vehicle for a typewriter, I use Tom Hanks' "typewriter app" for the iPAD! It looks and sounds just like one, and even has several styles to choose from! I really like using it when writing scripts.

I didn't comment on Punctuation and Grammar because I was primarily reviewed the article itself. I admit, I did notice a few places missing some punctuation, primarily commas, and an occasional grammatical error. However, it's nothing a quick grammar check can't catch, (if you're planning to try and publish it).

Your article was informative and an enjoyable read. I'm sure for younger people, who were not brought up on typewriters, would be curious about them after reading this.

Good job!


         Dee

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111
111
Review of GARBAGE . . .  
Review by Dee
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)


Hello Maria. I'm Dee, a member of the WDC Power Reviewers.

*StarV* HOW I FOUND YOU *StarV*

I found your this piece you wrote in the prose area of the category menu.

*StarV* MY THOUGHTS *StarV*

Your Title caught my attention immediately. It was short, direct and even harsh. I would say, after reading it, I found the title perfect for your prose, and certainly honest. You said so much with one word, and that isn't easy to do. Good work.

This Theme is one that is often explored, but rather than exploring it through the person's eyes while being made to feel like garbage, you explore the concept by showing us what it feels like, how it happens, and your hope that no one ever experiences that same feeling. Again, the thoughts and feelings you write about are hard realities, but they are another side of life that we are sometimes made to feel by others. Many people try to avoid the subject, but you wrote about it, evoking images that stayed with me.

Your Descriptions were wonderful and very pointed. Your choice of verbiage and the way you expressed it, by categorizing useful, useless, and disregarded made a strong impression with me. I felt tremendous empathy for the person and the situation written about. It makes you want to reassure them that God isn't the only one who can keep them from ending in the same place. Although I admit, I truly loved that line, "Except for the grace of God, everything ends in the same place."

The Style of Writing was interesting. I found your use of Punctuation refreshing. To me, it seemed to add an overall feeling of diversity, much like the cultural aspect you wanted to show us through the writing.

The only reason I didn't rate this a five was that I expected something humorous rather than serious, due to the photo that accompanied the writing. I suddenly thought "cookie monster," which in my mind said, "cute or sweet." A grittier photo might evoke a darker feeling to the reader.

I truly enjoyed this read.


         Dee
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112
112
Review of Blank Pages  
Review by Dee
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello Wolfbane. I'm Dee, a member of the WDC Power Reviewers.

*StarV* HOW I FOUND YOU *StarV*

I found your poem while searching the poetry category in the menu.

*StarV* MY THOUGHTS *StarV*

I loved your Title, Blank Pages. I had no trouble understanding the Theme of this piece being writers block. It was a wonderful poem and conveyed the problem and the writers' frustration.

My Favorite line(s) and the most emotional lines in the piece would have to be: Abandoning his addiction to the pen. The author acting like he was dead. I'm certain there isn't a writer in the world who hasn't felt that way at some point in their life. This is truly reader association at its best.

I took it that you wrote this from both a personal experience as well as those shared by others. The tone I took from this was frustration more than any other.

By the second stanza, I knew the writer examined the problem and became curious, questioning why this was happening. Interesting thought that curiosity planted a seed. Good use of self-examination or introspection.

Writing "the end" on the blank page was the poem's finality, with the reader knowing, nothing would be written that day.

*StarV* FINAL COMMENTS *StarV*

I liked your use of alternating rhyme in this Quatrain. I have a preference to this type of poetry. Your use of imagery was (in my humble opinion), very thought provoking.

Great job with this! I don't often give a 5.0 When it comes to poetry because I don't always relate to the Theme. In this case, however, I relate to this all too well.

Dee

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Review of Soon Enough  
Review by Dee
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)


Hi Winnie. I'm visiting your port to do a review of one of your Flash Fiction pieces, as I saw you are listed on the NAG Showcase!

*StarY* MY THOUGHTS *StarY*

Your story "Soon Enough" draws the reader into Robert's mind from his first words. Its Title tells something of the action to come, but not quite enough to give the story away. And that's good because titles should entice. I like titles that make me wonder, and your's made me wonder, "soon enough for what?" So, good job with this.

When Robert warns his granddaughter not to come close, I knew violence of some type was going to be the tragedy of this story, although I wasn't sure what the means to the end would be at that point. I found it to be a good way of showing Robert's emotions when you compared Jessie to being very much like Bess in his eyes. This showed the love he had for his granddaughter and wife, yet it was also the anguish he felt, being reminded of his loss and grief.

You set up the tension well by showing how everything in the house reminded him of his loss. Every turn he makes, every item he looks at just makes the pain grow stronger. As the reader, I can feel this loss and I'm waiting for the shoe to drop. The Plot is a simple one, but an emotional one that carries the short piece through the end. We don't know much about Robert or Jesse, but we do know what they are feeling and why, and we are drawn into the action by the surge of emotions they experience.

As the reader, I know Robert is going to kill himself. His calm serenity tells me that he has made up his mind and that only this decision to be with the one he loves can set him free. It's a common Theme, but one that happens all too often, even in the real world.

I saw no Punctuation or Grammatical errors. Your story flowed as it should--quickly, with little contemplation about his decision, at a medium to fast Pace.


The only thing I was a bit confused by was, who was Bobby? Grandson, perhaps? I must have missed something within the story. However, the story was full of emotion, and it was consistent through the end. Sad, but realistic.

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Review of The New Home  
Review by Dee
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Hi Choconut! I'm reviewing you today after seeing your name in the NAG Showcase!

*StarY* MY THOUGHTS *StarY*

I found this flash fiction captivating because my attention was held through this very short piece of writing. The tension and dark atmosphere of the story made me wonder if I understood what the situation was. Your Title, "The New Home" is benign at first, until you finish the story and realize what is happening with Claire's mum. The words drumming, reverberating and torture, puts the reader in her mum's mind immediately, and we feel her fear.

I am not certain I understand fully what is happening, but I am guessing Claire's mother is suffering from dementia or an Alzheimer's. I may be reading this incorrectly, but she is obviously confused and distraught about something if indeed she isn't ill.

Claire's emotions are only lightly touched on, as this story is seen through her mum's mind. As soon as she was unable to remember why she thought they were "breaking in," I knew the emotional set-up you created with line one works to make these 100 words scream stress and fear for both characters. Very nicely done!

You've shown us that emotion, and more specifically, tension or fear can be evoked with very few words, if used in an effective way. It isn't an easy thing to do, and you did it, as far as I'm concerned.

The only reason I rated this a 4.5, is because I am not entirely clear if I read the situation correctly. I enjoy short shorts that pull me into the story right from the first words, and I like action best of all to keep me there. Your short used those techniques. If emotion was the idea behind this piece, I would say you did a great job. By the end of it, I honestly felt sad for Claire.


                   Dee

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115
115
Review by Dee
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Hello Wolfbane. I'm Dee, a member of the Power Reviewers.

*StarY* HOW I FOUND YOU *StarY*

I found your poem searching through the Poetry category in the menu, as I looked for something to catch my eye to read.

*StarY* MY THOUGHTS *StarY*

I very much enjoyed "Memories Of The Lost.". As I read it, it was clear the author truly missed this person, and that their passing effected the author in every way possible. I could tell how emotional an experience it must have been to lose this person and move on with their own life. The idea of being in denial because you aren't able to talk to or see that person in your life any longer is a normal reaction that I could relate to. I still feel that way about my father even after all these years he is gone. Death of a loved one is one of the most difficult experiences to work through, and your poem really evokes feelings of sadness in the reader. Very good job making me remember all the feelings I have about my own father's passing.

I liked the Quatrain's rhyme scheme you used. A couple of the lines were a bit long, but nevertheless, the verses flowed well, and the rhyme was mostly true rhyme.

*StarY* FINAL COMMENTS *StarY*

Again, let me say that I enjoyed reading this poem. Nice work.

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Review of Morning Sunlight  
Review by Dee
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Hello Girlinwhite. I'm Dee.

*StarY* HOW I FOUND YOU *StarY*

I found your poem while searching the Nature category in the genre menu.

*StarY* MY THOUGHTS *StarY*

The Title immediately gives a warm feeling, as images of morning sunshine energize the reader and make them feel hopeful along with the author. Understanding that a new day gives us hope that since we made it through another day, we should be able to cope with whatever we have to face.

I enjoyed your phrase "put yesterday away in a special place." I believe you're saying to keep thoughts of previous days that were happy and good times in our memories for us to have forever. To keep them safe so we don't lose them or "waste" them.

Stepping out into the world to spread peace and love around also seems to be inspired by the warm feelings evoked by a perfect day with sunshine. The sun in your poem seems to inspire, energize and design the author's attitude about life. It's a wonderful poem, with a genuine message.

*StarY* FINAL COMMENTS *StarY*

This quatrain poem has a nice rhyme, with an ABCB rhyme scheme. You use some alliteration in a couple of stanzas which adds nicely to the poem's construction. And I liked the flow of your poem. You used simple language, with a lovely message, and true rhyme within it. It was not a complicated poem, but then, I happen to love poetry that speaks in simple or earthy language with a clear message, and little flowery language. You did a nice job with this.

Overall, I quite enjoyed your lovely poem. Keep writing!

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Review of Use as Directed  
Review by Dee
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Hello Angel. I'm Dee.

*StarY* HOW I FOUND YOU *StarY*

I found your story when I looked up stories in the Entertainment genre from the menu.

*StarY* MY THOUGHTS *StarY*

This was a fun read and kept me wondering what was going to happen to Jessica when she didn't follow the directions on the medication. The Title gave us a clue what to expect was going to happen, but we didn't know what would occur or when. So, excellent work keeping us guessing!

The result of Jessica growing fur was really a shocker! Great idea! Too bad you didn't mention Joe's reaction to it. I think you have room here for expanding this story if you wanted to.

*StarY* FINAL COMMENTS *StarY*

A creative story, and keeps the reader's interest. We've all wondered what would happen if we don't "use our medicines as directed." It was well written, and all other elements worked well, punctuation, grammar, and indeed the plot. The only suggestion I would offer in case you continue with this story is to add some dialogue, perhaps, or possibly show a scene rather than tell it with the narrative. Don't get me wrong, your narrative and story are very entertaining. I'm just thinking a few lines of dialogue could make reader connection even stronger.

Well done...Keep writing!

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Review by Dee
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

Fran
Hi BScholl. I'm Dee, a member of the WDC Power Reviewers.

*StarV* HOW I FOUND YOU *StarV*

I found your story after searching the "Genre" area in the menu for political stories.

*StarV* MY THOUGHTS *StarV*

This was a good piece of flash fiction. Writing in a condensed manner and still creating suspense and a good story isn't easy. Good job!

I enjoyed the Plot and the Characterizations. You made this short piece intense enough to keep my attention, and I kept asking questions in my mind that you answered as the story progressed. The characters came to life with the various attributes you showed, such as Jeff sticking out his hand and Frank ignoring it. Small actions that showed a lot about the person with few words needed. That's the key to flash fiction.

Jeff's surprise was expected and you used dialogue to show us his surprise when he learned he has been controlled all his life without his knowledge, but perhaps a few actions or facial expressions to "show" his surprise or fear could be used as well. I didn't think Jeff seemed as surprised or afraid as I would have expected from him.


*StarV* FINAL COMMENTS *StarV*

Again, this is a really good story, and I rated it 4.5. I thought the Title was perfect for it. This flash could be a great piece in a longer story as well.

Keep writing!


Dee

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Review of Donald Trump  
Review by Dee
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I had a pretty good laugh over this poem, Infowarrior! LOL! This is probably the funniest account of "The Donald" I've ever heard.

But I must agree. He definitely spouts misinformation or just he just plain lies. I have 4.5 hours of an interview where he contradicts himself 101 times! Talk about a liar. It's incredible. I can only imagine how many more I could find in other interviews or articles.

And I know you are right about pretending to bark out against Hillary. I cannot stand Clinton any better. I think they should have a liar's contest to see who's better at it. It's really hard to tell! I have always believed (as many analysts do), that he is a Clinton plant.

And it's funny how lawsuits from three women from the 1990's don't seem to be of interest to anyone in the mainstream news. So yes, phony baloney are the operative words, as far as I'm concerned.

It's a funny poem. Probably not going to be received in the top ten by true poets, but I loved it for its honesty. That's more than I can say about him and Clinton.

You keep writing and telling it "like it is!"
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Review by Dee
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


Hello Steph. I'm Dee, a member of the Newbies Academy.

*StarY* HOW I FOUND YOU *StarY*

Although this is not actually an article, I enjoyed this read very much! I found your letter when I search for travel items to review. I saw it was about visiting Paris, and I couldn't resist!

*StarY* MY THOUGHTS *StarY*

Using a letter to describe your thoughts about Paris was an interesting form. Rather than an article or essay, or even a story, because a letter provides a more personal account, rather than just statistics or facts about a place, without it seeming like fiction. Although your letter did have these characteristics, it was conveyed in a way that made the facts seem like a unique discovery! Much like an archaeologist on a dig!

Having been to Paris many times, and returning as often as possible, I must agree with your use of description about its architecture. Paris is probably one of the best areas to view a variety of influences in design. There is something magical about seeing Paris from the top of Tour Eiffel, especially at night when you see why it is called "The City of Light!" The island you talk about in La Rive Seine, is called "Ile de la Cité." And it is amazing to see the mirror of our Statue on this little island in the middle of the city!

I don't know anyone who isn't stunned by the beauty, design and feel of The Louvre! Yes, the Palace and place of Kings, at least for a while. And Versailles is just as impressive with its palace and second house on the lawn. The artwork is La Creme de la creme, and you made this part come alive with your insights and feelings about seeing the great lady herself, Mona Lisa! She is a bewitching lady with that smile you so succinctly express.

The Champs-Elysee is a world of its own, isn't it! A virtual shopping mall on one street, only with old world charm and atmosphere. I loved your description of the Egyptian monuments. Most do not even mention this fact, but you did so with that "personal touch" of discovery that made your letter, more than "just a letter!"

Your letter is wonderfully written, because after writing about so many beautiful and romantic places and sights, you talk of wanting to see it through Shelley's eyes, and how being with her is the most romantic of all.


*StarY* SUGGESTIONS *StarY*

The only suggestion I could add would be to mention one or two more places that people immediately think about when we think of Paris. One being the Left Bank, because the artists area of the city is phenomenal! And perhaps even Sacre Coeur, the Sacred Heart Church on the Left Bank that sits high on a hill towering above the river. And if Sacre Coeur isn't to your liking, the world famous, Notre Dame should be on the list, as made famous in literary circles with the "Hunchback of Notre Dame!"

*StarY* FINAL COMMENTS *StarY*

Very nice job with such a personal view of Paris. It reminds me of all the places you mentioned that I love, and all the memories. Returning to Paris is always a personal favorite, and your letter brought back those feelings again.

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Review by Dee
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Invalid Photo #1045423

Hello Rebecca! I'm Dee, a member of the Newbies Academy.

*StarY* HOW I FOUND YOU *StarY*

I found this piece when I searched for a few articles to review about travel. I have never been to Australia before, but I would love to visit it, and your story made me want to hop a plane even more than I did before I read it!

*StarY* MY THOUGHTS *StarY*

As I said, I've always been intrigued by your country, especially Western Australia and the Northern Territory, for all of the reasons you speak of. I am somewhat familiar with W.A. because I had a friend who lived in Perth. She told me many amazing things about your town. Even without having visited, I know that Western Australia has been underestimated as a tourist spot, and not as well-known as the other provinces. However, I know you have much more than the standard tourist traps of other cities.

You hooked me with the description of the Swan River, seemingly flowing backward into the city! Wow, what a magical place! This spot and especially Kings Park, sound like a piece of heaven on earth. What an incredible location and city, to have such wild beauty so close to "civilization" of the urban areas, yet still untouched. I don't know of any place like that here at home, and I live in Florida!

Your description of Perth Zoo was absorbing to me. And the ferry ride sounds quite lovely. I can imagine whales and dolphins in view while heading over there! Since I used to work at my local zoo in the education department and as a zookeeper trainee. I love animals, which is one reason I want to visit Oz. I know some consider them pests, but I adore kangaroos. I even named my dog "Roo," because she loved to jump up and down.

Hearing you speak about open lands, the vibrant colors, the culture and the unique people, make me want to grab the next plane out of Orlando! I also have this interest and fascination for the aboriginal people. I know something of the issues between them and the rest of the citizenry, but they are an integral part of your country, and I am as interested in their culture as our native Americans.

The fact that you have little crime is surprising, but a huge plus for tourism and living life.


*StarY* SUGGESTIONS *StarY*

I have no suggestions to offer, other than I would have loved to see a few photographs to go with the article!

*StarY* FINAL COMMENTS *StarY*

If anything, I'm just as hooked as ever, if not more after reading your travelogue.

Great job with this article! I give it 5-stars for giving me such a wonderful read!


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Review of Tagaytay  
Review by Dee
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Invalid Photo #1045423

Hello Candy! I'm Dee, a member of the Newbies Academy.

*StarY* HOW I FOUND YOU *StarY*

I found your piece about Tagaytay when I was looking for a few travel items to review. I have to admit; there was no way I could pass your article. It was an enjoyable read!

*StarY* MY THOUGHTS *StarY*

The first thing that caught my attention was the name, Tagaytay. I knew it was Phillipino because I had some friends who lived in the Philippines, so it looked familiar. The second thing that made me want to read on was the description of a mountainous region and cool climate. This is exactly the type of place I love to spend time visiting. I especially love mountain areas. The imagery you created by discussing a "dreamy yet breathtaking, fog-covered, isolated-like place," hooked me into wanting to visit!

You're quite right; Tagaytay does sound picturesque. When you mentioned pineapple grown there, and an active volcano nearby, I knew that Tagaytay was a place I'd love to see for myself!! Pineapple is one of my favorite fruits. I could already imagine how enjoyable a place it must be! Let's face it, beautiful green landscapes, sweet smells of native flowers, hills and tropical colors, was the perfect description to entice the most seasoned traveler! I may not be Phineas Fogg, but I've traveled to many places.

If I was ever to retire outside of this country, Tagaytay sounds like the type of place I would pick because it's only business is tourism. That means when tourists are not there all the time, or in the "off season," it would be a quiet, peaceful place to live, and that appeals to me. I love the idea of a place where there aren't any or many reminders of the major industrial cities.

Another reason someone reading your account of Tagaytay would make them want to visit is your passion and love for this town. It's obvious that you are not just loyal to the town as a resident, your feelings honestly come through in this short, but expressive piece of writing. I'd love to visit one day. Perhaps, one day when I feel more comfortable boarding a plane again.


*StarY* SUGGESTIONS *StarY*

I don't have any suggestions about the writing. I thought it was well written. It hooked me from the beginning and enticed me throughout. I would have loved to hear more about the town, or more to the point; I would love to have heard one or two personal anecdotes. A personal story about someone from the town, or about a business owner, perhaps would add a bit more flavor to it.

*StarY* FINAL COMMENTS *StarY*

This was a lovely, and very intriguing travelogue about your town.

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Review by Dee
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Invalid Photo #1045423

Hello Angus. I'm Dee a member of the Newbies Academy.

*StarY* How I FOUND YOU *StarY*

I found your editorial in the "Opinion Genre" area of the menu when I went looking for a couple of editorial pieces to review. This subject is a real pet peeve of mine too.

*StarY* MY THOUGHTS *StarY*

I have to say, this was the first time I've heard someone agree 100% with my viewpoint about texting and driving. I'm a professional trucker, an owner-operator actually, and I see people texting and driving and talking on the phone (without a headset) every single day, at least a hundred times a day. The worse part is I've had some really close calls because of people being "distracted" while driving. I take it very personally when someone almost kills me or damages my truck. It was refreshing to read an editorial with these observations in it.

I also recall the "hands on the wheel in the ten o'clock and two o'clock positions" when learning to drive. You were NOT allowed any distractions when learning to drive this way, and they enforced it. Very good points showing how much even driver training has changed. Oh, to answer your question, yes, there are many people out in the real world that are "morons," and I've seen most of them on the highways.

I feel the same way you do about the time the boy was given to serve. I certainly agree, one year is not a punishment. Even if we don't discuss that, the idea that there are people more concerned about how the boy would get to work and how not being able to drive would hurt *his* life, with no concerns about the victims, is actually appalling. You did a great job pointing out how people's attitudes have changed over the years and that a good many people today now look at it as if they are the victim, rather than the people they injure.

Lawmakers are ignorant because they continue to make laws that don't do a thing about the problem they are trying to fix. Their efforts merely mask the problem, so your effort to write an op-ed and to seek to save even one life is very commendable. I enjoyed the way you wrote this article--from the hip, with raw emotion, and real feeling.

You asked for feedback on this issue, and I can say without a doubt, you are 100% correct about the state of society, and the courts. The way people think is enough to push responsible people over the edge. I believe you made your points quite clearly, even if it was an emotional argument rather than citing facts or statistics. In fact, I think you made a stronger case because of your emotions.


*StarY* FINAL COMMENTS *StarY*

Again, I believe you made your points and expressed your feelings in a way that will make people think about what you are trying to say. It was a practical way of writing, which I found to be a positive technique. I believe it's very effective, because when it comes to the heartfelt, or emotional issue, the best way to get someone to hear what you are trying to say is by being "human." You did an excellent job of this, and you showed us your value system at the same time. Very nice.

I didn't even bother to review for punctuation or grammar because the issue affects me in such a personal way, I really wasn't reviewing for that purpose.


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Review of Legal Tender  
Review by Dee
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I can totally and completely relate to this! I think it's five-star. I am just learning poetry, so I have to say, my rating is based on my viewpoints (and yours), and they seem to be very much aligned with each other.

The poetic structure is more free verse than a set form, and I like that. It moves quickly, keeps your mind on the subject at hand, (us being swindled by the Fed), and the tone is alarming. You've got that "Wake Up and Listen" tone throughout the poem, and that's a very good thing for a message such as this one. Your rhyme scheme varies and I found that interesting. I like this style very well.

Keep writing InfoWarrior! I'll check out the rest of your poems as I have some time.

If you get a chance, drop by my Poetry folder and read "A Patriot's Lament." I believe you'll enjoy reading it.


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Review by Dee
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Hello EA! I'm Dee, a member of the Newbies Academy.

*StarY* HOW I FOUND YOU *StarY*

I found your story in the Read & Review area of the menu and thought I'd give it a read. I love flash fiction.

*StarY* MY THOUGHTS *StarY*

My First Impression was this piece of flash fiction will make a really great scene in a larger story, if that is something you decide to do with it. I thought you built up the Tension and the Suspense very well by using the clock to show the intensity of the situation and the "countdown" as John searched the house. Also, not telling the reader what he was searching for until the end (when he finds the knife) kept the suspense going, and certainly my interest up as we read along. Good job!

The Plot and Story line is obvious as we see John sneaking into his neighbor's house, although we don't know what John suspects, until he locates the knife. Again, good work with these techniques.


*StarY* SUGGESTIONS *StarY*

Grammer looked fine, no distractions, but I did notice a missing comma after the bits of dialogue. Other than that, you're good to go.

*StarY* FINAL COMMENTS *StarY*

My only structure suggestion would be that several sentences are really long, such as this sentence: He left the room and was heading for the back door when the front door began to open, instantly he froze, becoming paralyzed as his neighbor walked in. As a reader, I think it might read with more intensity if you broke some of the longer sentences into two, interspersing a few shorter sentences in with the long ones, but that's just something I prefer when reading a thriller. It's a really great scene!

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                             *TackG* Remember, a review is only one person's opinion, and you know your story best, no matter what that opinion might be.


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