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3,405 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I look at the title, premise, overall structure first. Then I see how it makes me feel. After that, I might comment on little errors which are easily fixed.
I'm good at...
Hmm. Well you'd have to ask the one being reviewed what that be.
Favorite Genres
Paranormal, spy/detective, sci-fi, romantic suspense (hey I'm female and entitled). documentary, psychological and more.
Least Favorite Genres
Anything too gorey depending on how it's done. I don't need every little detail.
Favorite Item Types
First tell me what an item type is. haha
Least Favorite Item Types
An item has to make sense even if it uses fantasy ideas.
I will not review...
I don't like where some writer crammed six long chapters into one item area. I also don't like it if the paragraphs are so long you lose your place reading it. If you don't want me to lose interest and give up, break it up into sections and link it to the next exciting chapters. Nobody wants to sit through a detailed story for hours without a break.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of The Wicked Witch  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Norman,

I happened to see your name on WDC and got curious. I'm here to read and review your (not poems). They the do rhyme, yes they're considered poems, yet I get what you mean.

* The title fits the poem.

* The theme is consistant.

* This one tells a little story and also ties it all up with a positive ending.

* The rhyming is done well.

*Idea* The only suggestion I might have is that you let these be 4 lines each. It can happen easily be done by using commas. And spacing.

I tried picking out a favorite part but I liked it all. I liked the unspoken message that all is not what it seems.

Thanks for sharing. I plan on seeing what other items you have.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of What Works  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Jacky,
I just noticed your item. I am here to give my thoughts on it.

Title: The title fits the content.

Format: There's a nice amount of spacing between paragraphs and the piece is just broken up enough to read well.

Content:

Here we have a helpful teen wanting to surprise mom. There's a leak and the person sees it can be easily fixed. At least he or she thinks so.

The action that folllows seems correct, the fix doesn't correct the problem.

The tension rises while the teen tries to decide what to do.

And so he or she decides to claim innocence.

*Idea*. I might have added more dialogue. Maybe let the mother say t the beginning that she'll have to call the plumber in the morning since it's the weekend.

The teen figures he or she can save her mom money and fix it himself. Shows a rise of tbuin as we wonder if he can.

I maybe would let the teen run toward his mom and say additional things like, "Mom Come quick! I was just walking by and noticed water squirting out."

Fun story here. I took remember my son trying to put a table together. I kept saying I think you better read the instructions first. If course, he didn't. And soon the table had not a second shelf underneath. Plus we couldn't reverse what he did. I guess sometimes we have to learn the hard way.

Thanks for the read. Hope to see more of your stories.





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review of Ocean Moon  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello WriterPenman,

I hope this finds you well. I happened to notice a few of your items in your port. I'm here to review it.

Title: The title is approoriate to the item content.

Format: It looks good on the page with alternatiing number of stanzas.

Content:

We have movement and sound in this first stanza. The imagery creates a feeling and flow. This leads us on our journey.

Ah, the dance of the sea. It swirls and has a back and forth movement. A rhthym.

This piece also reveals sea life, which also returns to the sea.

It was difficult to just pick one part I liked the most. It is complete. The moon's influence churns the water up unto the shore.

Nicely done! I hope to see more.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review of Ocean Moon  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello WriterPenman,

I hope this finds you well. I happened to notice a few of your items in your port. I'm here to review it.

Title: The title is approoriate to the item content.

Format: It looks good on the page with alternatiing number of stanzas.

Content:

We have movement and sound in this first stanza. The imagery creates a feeling and flow. This leads us on our journey.

Ah, the dance of the sea. It swirls and has a back and forth movement. A rhthym.

This piece also reveals sea life, which also returns to the sea.

It was difficult to just pick one part I liked the most. It is complete. The moon's influence churns the water up unto the shore.

Nicely done! I hope to see more.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello DamonNomad,

I just read your item called "Fear on a Mountain Ridge - True Story.

Your story beginning drew me in. I liked that we got a description of your two friends. It reveals how athletic they are, but also we got to see some interaction.

The tension gradually became evident when the sound of snake arrived on the scene. I can imagine how everyone froze until you were able to actually see it. I still wondered if it was going to strike and how that would turn out. You all made a wise decision at that point.

The relief was welcome as you could all laugh about it, yet still be wary of other dangers.

The golden eyes (orange) was definitely suspicious especially because there were so many. As you all crept forward, the tension builds again. At least you had your guns, but defending against something you can't see is pretty scary. And so this reader had to read more to find out if there's be any casualtys. Isn't that fun if me? Haha. Jk
In reality, I was relieved at your discovery.

Good job on this except I would have liked some more dual fuel like when you were all laughing after the snake came and went. I like humor, especially when we can laugh at our human experiences. I kind of felt like we , the reader, got to know the two fellows, yet not so much as yourself. I imagine someone like Daniel Boone type. Maybe. Or not. Lol

Thanks for sharing.

It's a good thing though.

I did notice there were places that needed commas too, but that's easily fixed.

*Idea* Formating: it occured to me that a little notation before some paragraphs could show clearly what day or time it might be, and also indicates passing of time and place. In paragraphing usually two line spaces indicates this too.

This was fun and interesting to read. You should do more like this. Maybe anthology of adventures.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of Am I Dead?  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Jeannie,

I found this item in your portfolio and am here to review it. "Am I Dead?

This format works for this storeom.

We see the characters surroundings and gradual realise what happened.

There's some good imagery in this item.

While the character is cold she realizes she's in a place of loneliness. She moves from above to below her grave. Then back out.

And she wonders where she'll be next. It's a logical thing to think.

The ending reveals how she feels what happened.

The rhyming is working.

Good job on this.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Sumojo,

I Just happened by your portfolio and noticed this item "Not for the first time and I here to rate and review it.

Right away, we get to see where the location is, and when and how the character is arriving. There's a lot of inagery in this, which is fine.

I like the premise. I'm presuming that this might be part of something longer, as it has good potential for it if you wanted to do that.

I did like the dialigue too.

I noticed the word "the" was used at a lot at the beggining of the sentences. I felt it may have been better if some if the sentences was revised a little, saying the same thing, yet differently

I liked that the red truck was mentioned, but felt it could have been more specific, like the 1985 Ford Ranger or 65 Chevy Suburban anything indicating age or year. This may later add to the tracking of the time where or when these two may have met.

I noticed the girl had no fear at first, even though she was alone out there, then suddenly a guy arrives on the scene. Maybe she was schooled and proficient in karate and thats why. But we don't know that at this point in time.

* I'm assuming that you used the prompt, but I wasn't sure what the prompt was. I clicked on the link but it had some other prompt that didn't sound related. This may have been written a while back is that's logical.

Anyway, I enjoyed reading it and can see how this could be developed into a longer continuing story.

Thanks for sharing.







*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello again jackuiesmuse,e

I found yet another short story you wrote.

It's looking good and you do have some nice dialogue going on. Tgeres a bit if imagery too.

I didn't see any glaring errors, if there were any.

I did feel like the part where she talks about getting a Uber could be italicizedd to indicate it's not spoken, but her thoughts.

Thanks again for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello JackiesMuse,

I just read "The Stranger on the Bus WC 287 and am here to review it.

It reveals a situation where the character and we at first are not sure if.



I found a few areas that you might want to revise. This first one refers to a specific time that can be made clearer.
You just never know what strangers are about.

*Idea* My appointment was for 2:00 (p.m.) I dreaded it, but this had to be resolved.

Try to reword and/or combine sentences so that it's not repeated words, yet clear.

* The premise works well.
* The dialogue in this is spot-on.
* We see a begining, middle, and end. Good.

*Idea* I might have added some sensory imagery. Maybe the sounds of the bus.

Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review of Darlene  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello StephB,

I just read your story called Darlene. It looks like you did a good job using the prompt given for the contest.

I liked that you gave a bit of back story about Darlene. Also you had some nice imagery going on as to what she was
wearing. Hoops, bangles and the clothing.

The kid was a bit of a blunt little guy, as kids can often can be.

*Pencil*

I did see a few areas that might need attention.

* Here the same word was used twice. It's easily fixed.

β€œTake it my from my tip jar. I’ll watch your booth while you’re gone.

* I walked over to the table and my jar jaw dropped.

Other than that, it looks good.

Thanks for the read.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings,
Re:
Matt Duggan
Part V
*Pencil*

* I would cap the word Attorney Jonnie Cochran, as his name follows it.

* capitalize Cougar.

* use three periods, not four.

Matt stood ... staring ...baffled, until the only word to come to mind crossed his lips.
* probably don't need the comma
large, digital

* Is it sub nose or snubed nose?
-He raised his sub(-)nose(d) revolver until it was level with his temple.

I liked the smart aleck remarks referring to the assailant.

Good read. Hope this helps.





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello jonblair,

I'm here again for Chapter 4.

I did notice that you needed a hyphen, plus a letter on one sentence. It's easily fixed.

*Pencil*
* pressing the release butto(n).

* here you repeated a word.
Matt didn’t didn’t disagre

* spring(-)loaded blade. There are probably more words in the previous chapter needing a hyphen.

Keep writing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello again, Jon Blair,
I just read another chapter of
Matt Duggan Part 3.

This is getting even more ibteresting.

What I liked: I liked how you reintroduced the characters, plus you have a smooth transition when he arrived on the scene.

I didn't notice any glaring errors. I was too interested in the story if there was any.

I like how you end the chapters too. That last sentence makes the reader want to read more.

It's looking good.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello OOT,

Welcome back. I too took a rest from WDC, but then came back. So much has changed so navigating was somewhat tricky.

You'll get the hang if it before you know it. I look forward to reading some of your items.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review of Two Ladies  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello James Fillmore,

First let me say I like a good detective story. I especially like noir.

I would break the paragraphs up more.

* This could be a separate paragraph. Also, I felt it needed a line space and a comma. My suggestions are below.

I had an office downtown in a small Midwestern city. The name was not important; it was a town just like all the others. It was sweltering hot during the day(,) and the nights were worse.

*Idea* instead of telling us about the sweltering heat, you might want to show it in some way. Think about what we do when it's hot. Maybe he wipes his brow, takes a swig of the iced tea, or has a damp paper towel to swipe at his neck. Maybe his shirt sleeves are sticking to him. I did like how you revealed his approximate age and marital status.

It was the kind of summer that a guy, long divorced and pushing forty, realises that he could be living just anywhere and wonders why he is not able to move on.

*This raised a story question. Makes us curious. We must read on to find out why he's not able to move on.

* There are many paragraphs that are missing a line space between them.


I told her my daily rate(,) plus expenses(,)and what she had to pay as a retainer.

* You mentioned the Chinese store across the street, but then said you ordered a ham sandwich. Also the guy had fries. I may be wrong but I figured egg rolls might be on the menu, rather than ham sandwich and fries, but what do I know, it's your story.

The good news is it shows our guy there where Linda is. We wonder what he will find out about her.

I realise this is an excerpt, rather than a full story. I'm just sharing my thoughts on this section.

Continue on and let's see where this goes. Thanks for sharing.

This is a anniversary review. Have a good one.
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello hdarling,

I just read New Garden of Eden.

This story allows the reader get a glimpse of what's out there in space and how it compares or is similar to our planet.

*Pencil* I'd start this off with both of these characters talking, preferably the main character.

I would reword sentences to make it more concise and immediate tense.
The instruments panelshowed lit up, revealing that the earth-like planet was in fact almost exactly like Earth. The sun, slightly smaller than Earth's, the sky was bright blue with fluffy white clouds scudded across it near the horizon. This Earth consisted of somewhat odd-looking broccoli shaped trees, and had clover on the ground, plus shrubs and bushes everywhere.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)




Hello Webwitch,

I just read No Appointment Necessary.

The title sure fits this little piece as we see our detective see people instantly.

I liked how "the dame" helped out.

Toward the end we see that our detective has made a decision about her while she's enjoying her steak dinner.


I like how things are coming along in the life of this detective. We see him in action and the dialogue is spot on.

I don't recall seeing any errors. I have have been to interested in the action.

This is one of your anniversary reviews. Have a good day.














Happy 15th WDC Anniversary.


Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Catherine Hall,

Here we see this piece , although not rhyming it is still has heartfelt meaning. A person's mother is an honorable one.

*Idea* I did note that you used the word gather twice. You might like to change one to another word meaning the same thing.

Keep going on it, it'll be perfect with just a few edits.

Nice how you show the mother as central drawing together her loved ones. Hope your anniversary day is grand.

Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Carly

I just noticed your story about your grandfather's visit and the bull moose.

How interesting that the moose came right up to him. That had to be a once in a lifetime moment. I might have been petrified.

I liked the background information about what both grandparents did while there.

Your story flowed well and was easy to understand.

I did feel that 'moose whisper' maybe should have been "the Moose Whisperer'.

Fun story to read. Thanks for sharing.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Beth Barnett,

I just saw this and like how you allowed for space for someone to write in their responses. It will be easy to organize a story with these pointers.


WD had a pretty good book out on characters too, which helps with bringing characters to life. My writing just comes out if my head but the suggestions help you focus more and then see patterns.


At first I didn't notice any text in red , but once I enlarged it I could see it.

Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Brenpoet,

This was easy to read and understand as we see this stage of grief, when survivors do what they must all through the gloom.

The mood and sadness is expressed well I'm this poem.

I liked how you brought it to it's end showing the passing if time but also remembrance of the dearly departed. The daffodil and snowflake is a nice touch.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review of G&B Road Service  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Norman,

I got a kick out if this little arireum. The poem tells a story and we, the readers, are right there with the narrator.


The names are interesting Goober and Booger. And it fits.

The rythym in this is spot on. I mind of feel like I'm bouncing around on the road as I read it.

*Pencil* I only found one place that I felt needed one extra word.

And they’re the only service;
the others have shut down.
So G&Bβ€˜s the only tow
that you’ll find in this (old) town.

Fun read. Thanks for sharing.  


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review of The Diagnosis  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello J.E.Allen,

I just read your story called The Diagnosis. Wow. It sure caught my interest as I saw Duncan deal with his dilemma.

I like that we got lots of imagery each place he went. Dialogue was spot on. When we started seeing what was happening at the end, it really added a new element to the story.

It looks like Duncan's daughter will have a lot to deal with, although will end up benefitting. Worse yet, upon investigation it will reveal what Linda was up to and cast new light on the case.

For a while, I thought the guy would pull off his face mask revealing it was someone these people knew. Although at least Duncan wouldn't know that, since it was just some guy outside the bar earlier. Might have been interesting to have that guy be someone that knows them yet they don't know him. Yeah might as well kill them both. And marry the daughter, Shelby, too.

Jk

When the killer pressed the play button was the irony of all Duncan had planned.

*Pencil* I found one place where I thought it needed an edit.
cherry wood floors
cherrywood floors (it's a type of wood with that name). It's easily fixed.

Thanks for sharing this.







*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
Review of Saviour  
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello purepoetry,

I just read your work called Savior. What a loving tribute to your loved one.

Favorite line is:

She comforts me when I am torn.

Also the last line:

She loves me so and I do know
That nothing will keep us apart.

Other comments:

A love like this is priceless yet often seems to be rare. To recognize it and keep it strong takes energy and patience too.

Beautiful yet simply expressed. I saw nothing needing fixing in this item

Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Matthew Frederick,

I was in your port and this item caught my eye,partly because I'm a mom.

What a thoughtful and wonderful tribute this is.

This stood out for me too, and it made me curious.

Janet Marie and Matthew Frederick 1980. (Photo)

16 years ago today - My Mother's last word was written in her book of life.

* Was there literally a last word or last few words?

I've always wondered what last thoughts would be in our last hours, other than realising the concerns we have while alive, might not be concerns once we aren't.

Thanks for sharing this.

I might have written out the word Sixteen.


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