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Review Requests: ON
3,528 Public Reviews Given
4,105 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I look at the title, premise, overall structure first. Then I see how it makes me feel. After that, I might comment on little errors which are easily fixed.
I'm good at...
Hmm. Well you'd have to ask the one being reviewed what that be.
Favorite Genres
Paranormal, spy/detective, sci-fi, romantic suspense (hey I'm female and entitled). documentary, psychological and more.
Least Favorite Genres
Anything too gorey depending on how it's done. I don't need every little detail.
Favorite Item Types
First tell me what an item type is. haha
Least Favorite Item Types
An item has to make sense even if it uses fantasy ideas.
I will not review...
I don't like where some writer crammed six long chapters into one item area. I also don't like it if the paragraphs are so long you lose your place reading it. If you don't want me to lose interest and give up, break it up into sections and link it to the next exciting chapters. Nobody wants to sit through a detailed story for hours without a break.
Public Reviews
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201
201
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Paige,

I'm here to read and review your item.

The premise is a believable one as teenage years go. It's an interesting age where you're not sure what's going to happen next.

I liked how the tension started up and then seemed to increase. The back and forth dialogue was working well.

Story questions came up and by the end when had answers to those questions.

I didn't see anything that needed changing. You might want to write more like this.

Good job on this short story.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
202
202
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Jay O'Toole,


I noticed this poem.in your port.

It's short but bittersweet. There's the joy of love so much it almost hurts, but then reality changes it.

The person tucks his love away into his pocket.

Very expressive piece. It's a topic that almost anyone can relate to.

What's also impressive is how you g this person was that wrote it. Truly romantic and expressive.

Well done .


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
203
203
Review of The crypt  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Here I would show what happens when the temperature drops. Maybe the wind picked up causing her to shiver.

* I noticed you didn't leave a linespace between some of these paragraphs. I would edit that.

The temperature dropped and wishing she’d brought a jacket, Dorothy began to walk faster.

* Nice build up of tension here:

Turning her head to see if she was being followed, she tripped, falling heavily. The phone smashed, leaving her in complete darkness. Things get even worse.

Oh no. She can't get out.

Well we hope she did but still she got bit. Hmm..


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
204
204
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Ironworker,

I noticed this while looking around on WDC and decided to read and review it.

Interesting topic.
The information about the difference between dating and courting is useful, yet many might not agree with this.

However, explained the way you did, makes sense. It seems that most people don't talk about this until it becomes an issue.

I might have been crushed if I'd been dating someone sent real months then saw them with someone else, yet you're right that if there was no verbal agreement, then it was assumed.

If there wasn't an understanding then it would be easy to think they were a couple and exclusive.
After a while of being alone because of a death, I can remember what it was like to decide to simply date without any plans for the future. It tends to lose its flavor one way or another.


*Pencil*.
* I found an area where a word was repeated.

If I am, for you (the) the difference between dating and courting at this point will be important to you.

* There was some places where it needed commas. I would read this out loud and find out where there's a pause, then add a comma.

* It(')s my hope that a renewed awareness of a very old(,) yet time honored-understanding of Courting and its rules may ease some of the emotional stress that can arise when one is


Good read, interesting topic.
Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
205
205
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Norman Jean,

I saw this on a review list and it looked interesting.

The story feels real. We see everything that you'd normally see on desolate ares. You don't say where this is so I'd guess it's a desert town or maybe not.

Still we get an idea of where they are and that's the open road to adventure. I like how the people came up to them seeing if they were okay.

The ending was good too as it tied everything up.

I think more of these kinds of stories where they travel and experience new things would be a cool idea.

The dialogue in this is spot on. It feels realistic.

Good job.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
206
206
Review of Midnight Walk  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello again Adherennium,

Here's another item where we walk along with these two fellows as they make Thier way home after some drinking and the joy of singing. Skin the oatb we see the creatures also listening and watching yet they aren't disturbed.

Nice imagery in this and a feeling of content and comradery.

*Pencil* There's one error here.
I believe you meant turning.Turing Turning on the gas fire

One if my favorite parts:
across frost hard fields of sparse, low winter grass. Every blade, etched in sharp white relief,

Good job on this. Hopefully, we might see more if Jon and Clive as they share adventures.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
207
207
Review of No, Mr. Bond...  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Adherennium,

I dropped my and saw this item in your portfolio and decided to read and review it.


As soon as I read this characters dialogue, my mind could hear his speech patterns He's so controlled and so villainous and deadly.

What we didn't hear was James Bond dialogue, yet that would be impossible by this time anyway.

Still having Bond be dead isn't like him, unless after the villain guy leaves the room, James rips off his bulletproof face.

I liked this part as it seems like something that's catlike as it plays with it's mouse.

As he spoke the man walked slowly around his victim.

Oh, this character is smooth for sure. When he's walking I could imagine his footfalls on the floor.

Nice wording and we see the purpose of the whole scenario.

Good job but I wanted more to happen.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
208
208
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with The Sci-fi Writers Guild  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello wd Wilcox,

I found this item in your portfolio. It had me curious. I'm not disappointed. You never fail to write stellar material.

This piece sure does allow the reader to see what's going on with the character. What an ordeal to deal with.

The tension cones faster as er go along and it builds and goes from pleasant things to scary ones.

My son has grand-mal siezures, and even that is pretty scary. Usually he can't talk afterwards, if there is an afterwards. Otherwise he'd be dead.
It ends up sounding like he's drunk. Sometimes he can't see. I can only imagine how scary that is when you're aware that something is wrong.

That doctor though what a way to describe her prognosis. A spider.

Well it like old like she's found her cabin in the woods.

I liked the dialogue in this and it's done well

Good job on this. I saw no errors





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
209
209
Review of Dreaming  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Rhyssa,

I found this piece in your portfolio and decided to look closer.

What an interesting item. This is about dreaming, but with words.

Fir me, it has no words but feelings. If there's communication it's never words, no sounds, but kind of sent telepathically. The people in the dream know what the other is thinking somehow.

Maybe this is what it's like in other planes of existence, if there are any. I think so, but what do I know.


I didn't notice any errors in this item.

Thanks for the read.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
210
210
Review of The End  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with The Sci-fi Writers Guild  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello Blue Jay K,

I just read The End. And here to give you it a read and review.

I must say that this really felt real.

What started out good in this cat's life turned bad, but progressively terrifying as time went on.

Alcohol certainly does change people's behavior, but it sounds like this man has a hatred for living things. He might even think he's no good and so lives up to it. We can only imagine what his own childhood was like or what happened to bring all this to the surface.

My suggestion would be to separate the paragraphs so that they are smaller. But be sure to add a linespace between them.

Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
211
211
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello W.D. Wilcox,
I just noticed this item "The Photograph of Carolina Stump"  in your portfolio and decided to get a closer look.

Title: appropriate to the story content

Premise: An inheritance causes somebody to learn more about Carolina Stump and what this house has as secrets

Many years in the past a woman gives birth to a baby, yet the pregnancy was troubled and somebody lost thier life in the process. Resentment is revealed and a child is continually traumatized.

Presentation: good lead in. Story question raised.

Format: formatting looks good

Dialogue: the dialogue feels real and is appropriate.

Imagery: good and vivid. Here are a few Examples:

* it seemed to squat upon its foundation like a hungry ogre patiently hiding in the bushes and waiting to be fed

* Sky pregnant with undelivered rain

Here we see a story question:
little dwarf doors that led into crawlspaces secreted in the walls

*Pencil*
southern Southern California

I saw no other errors with this story. Well executed.

Thanks for sharing.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
212
212
Review of Summer Kiss  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Schnujo,

I just read "Summer Kiss" . I'm here to review it.

The title is appropriate to the story.

Premise: Two young people experience everything leading up to thier frost kiss.

Format: is done well. Nicely spaced lines and paragraphs.

Content: The things that happen feel realistic and happen in a way that is both unique and natural.
Sentence rythym looks good also.

I really like the way these two interact. The fireflies were a nice tiuch. She's adorable and he's so thoughtful, attentive, yet careful. He's quite the gentleman, even when his desire rise up a little bit.

We get a glimpse of him, but also his thoughts, and see his angel through his eyes.

When he took off his shirt I can visualize that. It's sensual. Her reactions were also sweetly innocent.

Very nice imagery.

I don't see any areas that needed editing.

I like dialogue and we had just enough in this. The story was delightful.



Thanks for sharing.







*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
213
213
Review of THE DREAM  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Crow,

I just read The Dream. I know that feeling of having a good dream and just as things are feeling good you wake up and realize it was just a dream. At the same time you're feeling good thinking about it. Seems like a good thing to start your day.
I liked how everything rhymed but also helped the idea grow into a storeum.

You saved the Portland info til last.

Good job! Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
214
214
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Incurable,

I just read this item "A Really Great Quote X 2" .

Those quotes sound like a good thing especially when you're beginning your day. Uplifting and/or humorous would work for me.

I'm familiar with Einstein, but Goethe not so much. The name sounds important.

I better look it up.

I see no problems with this piece. There's nothing to edit or complain about. *Laugh*

It's simple and informative.

Thanks for sharing.


I liked the last quote:

Albert Einstein: "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits."

Boy, don't we see that today. Haha




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
215
215
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Incurable Romantic,

,Everyone needs to read this item you've put together.

I've had a few lossses and get what you're saying. At some point in time we have to deal with these kinds of things best we can.

The words used, the examples given, and the list you shared is useful.

Thanks for sharing. I hope you don't mind if I share this on the WDC Feed.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
216
216
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello incurable,

I agree. What's happened is outrageous. The problem is they are backed up by corrupt politicians and people with self interests

Anayway, your topic is well explained and easy to understand.
These people are manipulators.


What they don't seem to realise is this doesn't work out so well and eventually naturally occurring consequences will bite them in the back end. They don't even seem to know or they just don't care that they are someone else's puppets and are unethical.

There were no errors in this item
Thanks for sharing.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
217
217
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Maggie MacCullough,

I noticed this item in your portfolio and had to get a closer look.

Title. Is appropriate to the story content.

Premise is one that is believable in that often unaccompanied women go to a bar or nightclub and can sense someone or several someone's watching her.

It's up to her whether or not she'll try to get his attention and move forward. A lot of women won't ask a stranger to dance but some women are brace about it. Annie is one.
He's handsome and charming and things are going swimmingly.

The night goes on and he ends up alone with her and bam. Right after he says those words to her he attacks her. No reason really.

But...then on a latr another day she realizes someone's following her. He ends up getting a surprise of his own. Take that you douchebag! Good for Annie.

That ending tied everything up real fast. End of problem.

Well written short story is concise and it's easy to read and understand.

Dialogue is done well too.

I saw nothing that needed editing.

I'm surprised that so much was revealed with not too many words. It worked out well.

Thanks for sharing.







*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
218
218
Review of Divergence  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hello again Jeff,

I noticed another item in your portfolio.

Premise: Tt's about a tour through a castle.

The story is telling, not showing.
At least let the tour guide say something. Use quotation marks when he it she says something

Also, if they are afraid then show what's happening when they becomes afraid. Does thier voice change? are thier hands tremble? Are they jumpy?

This has no dialogue. At least let the tour guide say something. Use quotation marks when he or she says something.
Note: the idea that he out his head in the guillotine and the guillotine actually works seems messed up. If they know it's dangerous why would they go ahead and mess with anything? Why did the caretaker of the castle leave a guillotine in condition that it could work. Looks like a lawsuit could happen.

Why isn't the guide watching? Maybe they had to use the restroom or got called to the phone? Give the guide a good reason for not being more aware of people not heeding the warnings.

All that I said above indicates this wasn't practical. Even if this is fiction it has to be believable.

Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
219
219
Review of Graveyard Cough  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Redtowritte,

Title: Black Lung seems appropriate to the content.

Format: I like how this is formatted. Nice line spacing and 4 lines for each stanza.

Working in a coal mine can be bad for anyone's health. I recall reading about a very old and huge prison in Kentucky. Those prisoners back then we're forced to work in the coal mines. Many were already sick and some did not survive, and some that did later cane down with health problems.

I can only imagine what they went through. It's one thing to be incarcerated but another to shorten someone's life because if unsafe unhealthy work.

Nowadays, they would be sued. That old place closed up and was abandoned, but somebody took it over. It became a historical monument basically, and now they have guided tours through it. Surely it is haunted.

Your item makes people more aware if the dangers those people had to deal with.

Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
220
220
Review of the great flower  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Morphis19,

I happened to notice you might be new. I found this in your portfolio.

* Please remember that this is my perspective alone and anything you read here is merely suggestions that you may consider. It is, of course, your item and only you know how you'd like to write it. That being said lets get on with the review.

I'm not sure that the title has anything to do with the story.

I kind of feel like the item is too short. It is only three lines.

I'm not sure what you wish to express. It indicates a question. Yet we never get an answer to the question. Ancient emptiness foretold?

You write: It's brilliant. What does that mean? What about it makes it brilliant?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
221
221
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Glenny,

I noticed this item in your portfolio and decided to have a closer look so I can read and review it.

Please remember that this is my perspective alone and anything you read here is merely suggestions that you may consider. It is, of course, your story and only you know how you'd like to write it. That being said lets get on with the review.

Title: The title is appropriate to the content.

Premise: A lifelong friend dies.

Format: This did at first have proper linespacing between paragraphs but soon it didn't. The paragraphs need to have a line space between it and the other paragraphs.

Dialogue: There is none, but that's understandable considering the content of the story.

Imagery: There's a memory of shared times together, where they were and what they were doing.

* There is no dialogue as this is more of a tribute.

*Pencil* Both 6 years old

* In a few places numerals were used. I think it might be read better written out.

*Idea* It says she passed on but doesn't indicate whether it was accidental, another illness, or old age. A few words would suffice.

Personal Comments: My most sincere condolences to you.. It is never easy when we lose our friends or family.

Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
222
222
Review of Escape  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Jeff,

I noticed something in your portfolio and decided to read and review this item--"Escape" .

Please consider this review as only my opinion and is done to help you if possible. You may consider what you will and disregard what doesn't work for you .


Title: It is appropriate to the content.
Premise: there is a scuffle inside the home, a boy runs out and escapes.

At first,we're not sure what happened but it seems the boy is scared.

Format: It looks good

Exposition: This while thing is exposition. It is told not as much shone.

Dialogue: There is one line of dialogue and it then answers the question of why the boy was running.

Dialogue adds interest and can express emotions. This could use a little more dialogue.

Imagery: There is some nice imagery such as the twig breaking (increases the tension).

Also here, nice action words.:

squirming and twisting, the boy
wriggled free of the man's grasp and took off running

The words used helps us understand what is happening in the moment.

I felt a little let down though because it seemed like the kid overreacted to what was required if him. Children sometimes don't like doing certain things but doing what normal people would do child ir not doesn't seem like that big of an issue.

Thanks for the read.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
223
223
Review of Missing you  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Ben Langhinriches,

I hope I spelled that right. I happened to see this is your portfolio. I'm here to read and review this item.

Well, I enjoy dialogue band you've used it well, all while not using exposition

Questions arise right away as we see these two characters interact. Tension starts as we see everything revealed gradually. At some point we realise just like Barb that something is going on that might not feel right.

You tied thingsup at the end yet left it open for us to realise what's happening. The loss of a loved one can cause some bad things to happen.

Interesting read. Well done. No errors.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
224
224
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello again PennyinPocket,

What I like I. Stories is some good dialogue. You have it here. We see tension and the tension in teases as the youngsm thinks about going out in his own to do what he'd like to, yet his father is very demanding and quite intimidating, in fact he's disrespectful.

Dad gives his son no choice even though the son is 38 years old. Wow. That's way too long to not do something you would lobe to at least try.

*Pencil* One thing that I noticed was that there were no line spaces between the two different people talking. Line spacing helps us know which person is talking.

So now we wondered if the son will cave in or not and we find out at the end.

Thanks for the read.



*Idea*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
225
225
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with The Sci-fi Writers Guild  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Penny in Pocket,

I noticed a few items in your portfolio and decided to take a closer look in order to give a review on it.

I became intrigued while reading this story. I had to keep reading to know more about this exotic coffee.

I did notice a few areas that might need revising. I will post then below.

*Pencil* my local Coffee Shop
Here the name could be more specific, if not there, maybe in the next lines. It makes it feel more real. An example might be called The Coffeepot/Tea Kettle Express.

Likes this part: expectation mounting in me like Mount Saint Helen{'}s moments

*Idea* I added the apostrophe as it shows possession.

Wow, this owner/character really took her in $100 a pot? Worse yet is her slow reveal telling what it actually is. I'd be outraged and gagging and spitting.

I almost expected an outright brawl. Haha But this patron is proud and so it goes.

The description of the cats and the process was well done.

Fun read. Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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