I'm not sure if this is an excerpt of the actual story, or just an outline. Because it's so short, and the ideas are a bit vague, I'm going to assume it's an outline and review it as such.
As an idea, I love it! Stories of the character torn between two worlds, never feeling at home in either, can be some of the most engaging. The setting and descriptions make me think of The Hobbit, or Prince Caspian, and certain sound like something I would read and enjoy. I'm also left wondering about this "cursed forest of dogwood"... how interesting, to use such a beautiful tree as the representation of a curse. You have my attention, dear author. When can we expect a full chapter?
Not bad, just lacking subtlety. Personally, I like the stories that don't tell me what lesson I should've learned. I would be tempted to call this an Aesop style fable, it's short and states it's moral.
If you'd be interested in fleshing this out, just a little, I think you could make it a much more engaging read. (Maybe something more akin to a Hans Christian Andersen tale.) As is, it serves it's purpose, and I have no serious critiques.
Very easy read, and on a topic I'm certainly familiar with! I'll have an idea, and be so excited to start writing and then... well, here's another idea, and it doesn't fit with the previous one. I'll just write that down separately. Before I know it, I have twenty pages of new ideas, and not a full chapter among them. It's frustrating, but also part of the fun.
I like the flow and voice, and feel I would gladly read a short story or novel from the author. It felt like I was reading a letter from a friend. No major grammatical or spelling errors caught my attention, but that's not my specialty.
Honestly, it's nice to know I'm not alone. To know that we all get stuck in "idea mode" is comforting somehow.
I hope you find a character (or two) who takes you on an adventure you can write down, start to finish.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dontpetthedog
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 4:34am on Oct 07, 2025 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
