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Score Card for PWC Poetry/Short Story Contest
Regarding: Imbolc or Celtic Tree Month of Beth
Greetings and Salutations!
I am DragonBlue. I am one of the Reviewers and Judges for the contest "Invalid Item"
The following criteria is being considered while reviewing your entry to this contest:
1. Presentation of Subject – If I had known nothing when I read your
work, was your pen informative & enlightening?
4.85 in this category
(please see category five for explanation of this rating)
I felt your reverence for the divine and I really like the way you
incorporated the Mother and Mary. It brought to mind this almost
calming thought; "Maybe there really is a way for us to live in peace
without accepting dominance." My favorite lines; "the wax, the wick,
the flame" as it is in beat with, "the maiden, the mother, the crone; the
power, the matter, the mode; for what ye see, 'tis what ye do,
'tis what ye shall recieve"
So Mote It Be!
2. Title, Genre, Category –
5.0 in this category
All 3 were present for this item.
3. Typo's, grammar and spelling challenges
4.75 & 3/4 in this category
I saw none, other than I felt like you were asking a question in
"Can calm be shaped
with herbs and apples,
when murmured prayers
become buried memories,"
4. Word/line count stayed well within the parameters given.
5.0 in this category
5. This category is mine own to make/create and in your entry I would like to comment on:
4.98 in this category
your very intimate relationship with your divinity and the true joy
I felt come through your words as you painted the way to peace within,
peace without. You are one that is kindred to my own spirit in this
way.
The only thing I would have liked to have seen is an author's
note possibly, to explain your references to circle experience that
only those with this knowledge would understand easily.
Your poem is so very sacred and spiritual, I almost do not feel
'qualified' to rate or review it, but alas it is my duty to fulfill.
Please DO write, love, and light those candles for life taken
instead of given; on and on and on!!
MY TOTAL SCORE AVERAGE: 4.92
There are two other judges who will be by to r, r & r your work.
Thank you for your entry and good luck in our contest!
This was just beautiful! It brought tears to my eyes, kept my feet moving to the rhythm, the beat, as we embrace our divinity in sacred harmony! I could hear the sweet Keltoi harp and primal drums of times past, present and future life ... our combined inner selves to commune with the interconnecting life force that is a part of every living organism on this planet, in this universe and others ... You did a wonderful job capturing what this pagan feels in the very essence of my spirit every day as I / we become one again with the magick of our Mother Earth and Father Sun. Thank you for an uplifting beauty I did not expect to see in this otherwise dreary day!
Score Card for PWC Poetry/Short Story Contest
Regarding: Imbolc or Celtic Tree Month of Beth
Greetings and Salutations!
I am DragonBlue one of the Reviewers and Judges for the contest "Invalid Item"
The following criteria is being considered while reviewing your entry to this contest:
1. Presentation of Subject – If I had known nothing when I read your
work, was your pen informative & enlightening?
As a bards tale of the ancient belief in Our Lady and Bringer of Light I thought you did quite well. Your descriptions were fairly clear, and your overall presentation was excellent.
4.25 in this category
2. Title, Genre, Category –
Your entry was titled but your classification was noted as 'other' without reference as to the genre.
4.0 in this category
3. Typo's, grammar and spelling challenges
story,of -- need a space in the second stanza 4th line
4.50 in this category
4. Word/line count stayed well within the parameters given.
5.0 in this category
5. This category is mine own to make/create and in your entry I would like to comment on your good rhythm and rhyme through out, only the words of "clear swan print" seemed out of place.
This is a very good poem and I must applaud you on the valiant effort to write about this Sabbate.
FYI: Our Lady was referred to as the Goddess Brigid and was only called Saint Brigid by the Christians after sainted by the Catholic Church when they were unable to convert the local pagans who worshiped Her as the Bringer of Light. (pagan actually translates to rural people)
4.0 stars in this category
MY TOTAL SCORE: 4.35
There are two other judges who will be by to r, r & r your work.
Thank you for your entry and good luck in our contest!
What the story/poem made me feel/think
This one led me there but not quite all the way,
Though I could sense what you wanted to say.
There was a brief moment in time
Sure that they would in the next line
But you led me there but not quite all the way
Good thing my mind was thinking it anyway!
What was the message and did
the writer/poet get her/his message across
Two lovers - doing what lovers do. Yippers!
You got your point across.
Descriptive word usage
Almost exotic.
Flow/Structure Challenges
None to see through all the steam!
Rhyming/Meter if applicable
Great rhyme and I did not count the meter.
Overall Impression of the poem/story:
Sherri, you almost made me blush, and that my friend,
is quite an accomplishment! Thanx for the cold shower!
What the story/poem made me feel/think
Whoa! I felt the ice cycles sting with that poem! May I borrow it
and send it with black balloons to someone whom I know deserves it?
lol...just kidding...NOT!
What was the message and did
the writer/poet get her/his message across
One of the best "Dear John" letters
I have ever had the pleasure of reading.
Descriptive word usage
Supurb and as natural as a clear blue mountain stream.
Flow/Structure Challenges
There was so much structure; the structure
ran over the flow until it was structure too!
Rhyming/Meter if applicable
Sing song once again, as I
am coming to expect from your poetry.
Overall Impression of the poem/story:
Sounds like this liar got exactly what they deserved. Poetic
Justice in this universe where eyes of truth are always watching you!
What the story/poem made me feel/think
I believe you have come to terms with your grief and in such a way
that it made you stronger, my friend. Your strength amazes me at
times, usually when I feel my weakest.
What was the message and did
the writer/poet get her/his message across
Yes mam, you did indeed. Your message to me was loud and clear.
Descriptive word usage
Excellent as per usual.
Flow/Structure Challenges
Did not find any, and I did look!
Rhyming/Meter if applicable
This was perfect! Once again I could almost hear
you singing this one in a deep, throaty blues voice.
Overall Impression of the poem/story:
I would like to think that writing has helped you through your
grief, and through your life and made you stronger and more
resilient, like the Willow tree...always bent, but never, ever
broken.
What the story/poem made me feel/think
I was hoping to read about your child hood or high school or college and all I
got was what I already know. You follow your heart, reach for the stars, and
not only expect but demand that others keep their heart geniune and their
friendship real when you welcome them into your heart! But I already know
this about you.
What was the message and did
the writer/poet get her/his message across
We covered this question in the first paragraph.
Descriptive word usage
Excellent as per usual.
Flow/Structure Challenges
Did not find any, and I did look!
Rhyming/Meter if applicable
not applicable
Overall Impression of the poem/story:
I can almost hear your voice in your words. I get a picture in my mind of you
singing or humming to yourself as you write. I still wanted to know more, but
alas, you will tell me when I ask! ha!
What the story/poem made me feel/think
You describe your pain well at losing your best friend, your mommy, your
protector, your nurturer. I am sorry Sherri, that you had to feel that
pain. Feel joy in your heart that you had the chance to love and be loved
in such a deep and caring way. Feel peace in your soul that your mother
is moving on in her own spiral of evolution toward the end she needs to be.
Let your spirit move on, for you were able to tell her good-bye.
What was the message and did
the writer/poet get her/his message across
Your message was the pain at losing your best friend and mother.
Your poem touched me very deeply.
Descriptive word usage
Excellent!
Flow/Structure Challenges
There were not any typo's, spelling or grammar errors that
I could see.
Rhyming/Meter if applicable
Perfect!
Overall Impression of the poem/story:
Thank you for a very emotional, and heart wrenching read.
All it lacked was the box of tissue to go with it.
Date: 01/08/07 Author: Dave Genre: Horror Style: Short Story
What the story/poem made me feel/think
I found this write to be great in a sick and twisted sort of way.
Weird in a Stephen King way...but great still the same.
What was the message and did the writer/poet get her/his message across
You tell a very good scary story. Great for the campfire re-tells.
Descriptive word usage
Excellent! Once again a story well told with visuals that
knock your socks off! Flow/Structure Challenges
No challenges. I did not find any typo's or grammatical errors. Rhyming/Meter if applicable
n/a Overall Impression of the poem/story:
Another excellent write by the next "100,000 copies" bestselling
author! Please do, write on!
I enjoyed your internal dialog for why you need to write! I have these same conversations on a daily basis, writing is my life, my dream, my nightmare, and everything in between. I see it is for you too!
Welcome to WDC! I hope you find auditor's instead of critics and that you enjoy your time while spent here. Here's to a great 2007! Live long and prosper!
Date: 11/15/06 Author: Ezechial Lee Genre: Personal Style: Poetry
What the story/poem made me feel/think
This is a very good beginning to some very deep soul searching. What was the news? A new life on the way? Or did she go her own way?
What was the message and did
the writer/poet get her/his message across
I believe you are trying to find a reason and rhyme to why you feel deflated when you should be on top of the world.
Descriptive word usage
Good.
Flow/Structure Challenges
Your pen flowed well. I only saw one possible grammatical error which is replacing then with 'than' in the second stanza.
Rhyming/Meter if applicable
Your pen had a good rhythm and well the meter was not the point, eh?
Overall Impression of the poem/story:
I like how you stay positive even though you question if you should remain so. Your pen made me think of how I felt when I graduated from high school and the local community skills center with honors, and thought I had the world by the b)(*s! Just to find out, I should have kicked it while I had the chance instead of second guessing my own abilities to make a decision. Stay positive!
Live to write! Write to Live! Write On!
** Image ID #1145817 Unavailable ** Bright Blessings!
)O(
DragonBlue
** Image ID #1135576 Unavailable **
** Image ID #1096953 Unavailable **
FounderCreatorOwner
Dragon Blue's Poetry http://www.dragonbluespoetry.com
** Image ID #1026241 Unavailable **
** Image ID #1176242 Unavailable **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1170740 by Not Available.
Date: 11/12/06 Author:Happy Adore♥ Genre: Romance / Love Style: Poetry
What the story/poem made me feel/think
I can feel your pain in your three short sentences. Wonderful job!
What was the message and did
the writer/poet get her/his message across
Lost lost. and yes you did.
Descriptive word usage
Excellent
Flow/Structure Challenges
Excellent flow, no structure challenges.
Rhyming/Meter if applicable
not applicable
Overall Impression of the poem/story:
Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,
as a very old cliche is fond of saying...I am sorry for your loss.
Live to write! Write to Live! Write On!
** Image ID #1145817 Unavailable ** Bright Blessings!
)O(
DragonBlue
** Image ID #1135576 Unavailable **
** Image ID #1163888 Unavailable **
FounderCreatorOwner
Dragon Blue's Poetry http://www.dragonbluespoetry.com
** Image ID #1026241 Unavailable **
** Image ID #1176242 Unavailable **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1170740 by Not Available.
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"Invalid Item"
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Denial is what comes easiest to the inner child, no? Then anger.
Then anguish...and alas..forgiveness and acceptance.
What was the message and did
the writer/poet get her/his message across
Yes you got your point across. Lonely are the hours long,
for a blue dragon to sing this song...let the light take me away
for those are the blues at this here bay...
Descriptive word usage
Excellent
Flow/Structure Challenges
Excellent. Found not a thing to edit.
Rhyming/Meter if applicable
rhythm is puuuurrrrrffffeeeecccccccct!!!!
Overall Impression of the poem/story:
Are not we all lost in this dimension of the material hell? Always
seeking fulfillment from without instead of from within? Aye, your poem
speaks of an old soul pouring forth from her pen...
Live to write! Write to Live! Write On!
** Image ID #1145817 Unavailable ** Bright Blessings!
)O(
DragonBlue
** Image ID #1135576 Unavailable **
** Image ID #1096953 Unavailable **
FounderCreatorOwner
Dragon Blue's Poetry http://www.dragonbluespoetry.com
** Image ID #1023632 Unavailable **
** Image ID #1176242 Unavailable **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1170740 by Not Available.
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"Invalid Item"
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This pen had a dream like quality to me. It made me feel as if I were dreaming,
floating along on the stream of the collective consciousness.
What was the message and did
the writer/poet get her/his message across
A fantasy of the mind...and it
is felt in the dreamy essence of your words.
Descriptive word usage
Excellent, I feel as if I am in a fantasy.
Flow/Structure Challenges
I found none. Though I did look!
Rhyming/Meter if applicable
Your rhythm was immaculate!
Overall Impression of the poem/story:
My favorite lines were: "As one removed from their absent self
Peace beyond all wealth."
Absent of self as in absent of ego, but full of peace...
very profound, my friend Coco!
Live to write! Write to Live! Write On!
** Image ID #1145817 Unavailable ** Bright Blessings!
)O(
DragonBlue
** Image ID #1135576 Unavailable **
** Image ID #1096953 Unavailable **
FounderCreatorOwner
Dragon Blue's Poetry http://www.dragonbluespoetry.com
** Image ID #1023632 Unavailable **
** Image ID #1176242 Unavailable **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1170740 by Not Available.
** Image ID #1170970 Unavailable **
"Invalid Item"
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Date: 11/12/06 Author:Happy Adore♥ Genre: Romance / Love Style: Poetry
What the story/poem made me feel/think
This made me think of the ripple or wave from a stone tossed into a still lake,
making a wave for the tiniest of creatures.
What was the message and did
the writer/poet get her/his message across
Yes, this definitely gets the point across about being alone.
Descriptive word usage
Excellent
Flow/Structure Challenges
None that I could find
Rhyming/Meter if applicable
n/a
Overall Impression of the poem/story:
Good write for such a short pen...I liked it a lot.
Live to write! Write to Live! Write On!
** Image ID #1145817 Unavailable ** Bright Blessings!
)O(
DragonBlue
** Image ID #1135576 Unavailable **
** Image ID #1096953 Unavailable **
FounderCreatorOwner
Dragon Blue's Poetry http://www.dragonbluespoetry.com
** Image ID #1023632 Unavailable **
** Image ID #1176242 Unavailable **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1170740 by Not Available.
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"Invalid Item"
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Date: 11/7/06 Author: The Tale of Coco Adore Genre: Romance Style: Poetry
What the story/poem made me feel/think
I am so happy that you were able to remember the love and to put your son first. I only wish my ex could be trusted to do as he promises...
What was the message and did
the writer/poet get her/his message across
Your message to me was that when two people part and go their seperate ways, especailly with children, that the love is really what needs to be remembered. Congratulations! You have done an excellent job of portaying this.
Descriptive word usage
Excellent. I really love this part: No, we only saw each others eyes
As we longed to be lost
Transported to distant skies
Where we hold one another, dancing round and round
As we whisper
In the end, we only remember the love.
Flow/Structure Challenges
None that I could find!
Rhyming/Meter if applicable
Rhythm was good, your words flowed one into another..rhyming and meter were not applicable.
Overall Impression of the poem/story:
I am so very impressed that and almost downright envious of you and your ex husbands ability to remain mature through a divorce that could have gotten nasty as they all can...
Live to write! Write to Live! Write On!
** Image ID #1145817 Unavailable ** Bright Blessings!
)O(
DragonBlue
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FounderCreatorOwner
Dragon Blue's Poetry
I do not usually review folders and I will not count this one as part of the 5 that you won from Whome's Raffle. But you have such a very large selection and diversity in your chosen siggies. I am impressed. Thank you for sharing how diverse you really are with me and wdc. I love the portrait your husband painted of you, would you like it framed? On me, for free, cause I think the beauty of the painting should be finished and framed to make that piece of art complete!!
** Image ID #1145817 Unavailable ** Bright Blessings!
)O(
DragonBlue
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FounderCreatorOwner
Dragon Blue's Poetry
Date:10/12/06 Author: ridinghwitchyhood Genre: Personal Style: Poetry
What the story/poem made me feel/think
That's just it! It made me think! I went and checked out your grandmothers site too! You are an inspiration! I got informed just the other day by some self important old poop that I was naive for believing that all the world needs is love! Unconditional Love and all we have to give! I get really discouraged in my quest and life long calling to show the world how love unconditionally. You cheered me considerably! All it takes is one small step, before long you get your stride, you be a'walkin tall and know what to do to change it all!
What was the message and did
the writer/poet get her/his message across
The evolution of the human spirit was her point, and yes you did an excellent job of portraying!
Descriptive word usage
Excellent!
Flow/Structure Challenges
Pefection once again!!
Rhyming/Meter if applicable
n/a
Overall Impression of the poem/story:
You poem was beautiful, intelligent, showing talent, cunning and a happy smile on your face as a grandmother! Crone you are and worthy of our respect and you have earned mine!
Live to write! Write to Live! Write On!
** Image ID #1145817 Unavailable ** Bright Blessings!
)O(
DragonBlue
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Image #1163888 over display limit. -?-
FounderCreatorOwner
Dragon Blue's Poetry http://www.dragonbluespoetry.com
Image #1023632 over display limit. -?-
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If only you could see that what you are guilty of is the gift of the Mother that was given to you to enjoy. Yes, as women we are taught from birth to deny ourselves the very pleasure of what continues and gives life. It is our blessing not our curse. It is meant for pleasure. To deny what it truly is becomes a sacrilidge to life itself. Dig deeper than the teachings of men in barbaric tounges and enjoy who and what you are; woman.
** Image ID #1145817 Unavailable ** Bright Blessings!
)O(
DragonBlue
** Image ID #1135576 Unavailable **
Image #1096953 over display limit. -?-
FounderCreatorOwner
Dragon Blue's Poetry http://www.dragonbluespoetry.com
Image #1023632 over display limit. -?-
Image #1164720 over display limit. -?-
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1164101 by Not Available.
A true bearing of a battle weary soul. If you do not waiver from your path of what you know to be true you will learn to use your magick wings and be free. The mundane world can never take that freedom or those wings once you learn you have them and yes really can use them. Stay positive and believe in yourself with honor and the universe will unfold as it is meant to.
Write On! For with your written, then spoken word you empower yourself to be free!
)O(
DragonBlue
A Kindred Soul
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This is a very beautiful communion with divinity in which only a true spirit of light and energy can participate. Thank you for sharing a very sacred moment of your spirituality with me/us.
And please do WRITE ON!
Bright Blessings
in Love and the Light of Blue
)O(
DragonBlue
** Image ID #1119730 Unavailable **
How it made me feel/what it made me think of:
Your visuals are exceptional, your rhythm consistent. This poem drew me in until the very last line. I like the way you end your pen with the title. Often times I find that is how I title my poems, is the last line pulls all the stanzas together.
Structure Challenges:
Since you chose not to use any punctuation, I found no errors there. I too write like this and am always chastised for doing so. So I will not say add punctuation. Accept for the last line, an exclamation point! only my opinion of course.
Overall Impression:
(only my opinion)
I really enjoyed this romantic tryst in the autumn leaves. Overall this is a very sweet and sensual poem. Thank you so very much for the read!
How it made me feel/what it made me think of:
Excellent! I love the fact that you are exploring all the same thoughts I have had over the years. I often ask myself, well if we live forever, nothing else does so why would I want to? Why do humans fear death? Because they have created a hell they will be going to with their religions that were created to control the masses. The bible is written by men, for men and about men.
Never is there mention of women unless she is a virgin or a whore. and then only in the background. Woman is the polar opposite of Man. How do men give birth? They cannot. Can they give life? NO they do not. Do they nurture? No. I only see these type of men take life, never give it.
The world is so out of balance in the current day because the natural polars and the laws that exist to keep them in balance have been ignored in at least the last 4000 years, in the evolution of the human race. We have kept nothing in balance. We have annihilated entire species for greed, power and money.
When men removed women from their rightful position of partner, EQUAL partner, they started what some would call the 'big bang theory'. When all things are not in balance, they will fall. If darkness did not exist, neither would the light. If north did not exist neither would the south. If down did not exist, neither would up. If female did not exist, neither would male. If the Goddess did not exist, neither would God.
This is what your essay made me think of. I must commend you for being brave enough and taking the courage, as we all should, to speak out against what we as a race, the human race, are doing to our home the Mother Earth.
Structure Challenges:
I found none
Overall Impression:
(only my opinion)
Thank you for an intelligent, well written essay!
How it made me feel/what it made me think of:
Too many people are dying as this woman did. Too many children are left to starve and die the same death. Too many people turn their heads and walk away. Without empathy or compassion. Too many people have not walked in these shoes. Too many people are dying right here in America, as we go off and kill even more souls on foreign soil. Time we, the people of this planet, put a stop to it.
Structure Challenges:
none
Overall Impression:
(only my opinion)
This was a well thought out pen and made me feel the sadness that the homeless feel, for I too have been there; and it reminded me of that all too familiar pain. The pain of hunger.
** Image ID #1145817 Unavailable ** Bright Blessings!
)O(
DragonBlue
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What the story/poem made me feel/think
