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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dragonfly-rose
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4 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of the dance  
Review by dragonflyrose
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed this Rhyssa. The introspection, the questions yet wrapped within hidden answers. And the construction works well - often this kind of spacing is superfluous, but it makes the poem flow here.

I especially liked the phrasing of:

sometimes I think
the most valuable touches
were left by those
who didn’t even notice

Well done!
2
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Review by dragonflyrose
Rated: E | (5.0)
I loved this poem Bikerider. You have a way of putting your reader directly in the moment, so much so that as I read I could feel the rain drops falling on my head and shoulders. In a situation that could be seen as a dreary, unfulfilled moment you made it a joyful day, turning gloom into glee. If the reader can relate and see beyond the surface, this poem can reflect many other situations and apply to more than just a fishing day. Kudos!

My only suggestion/question is concerning the third line of the second verse, "The sun came out, then, in a game" - Did the sun then disappear? If it stayed with the rain, was there a rainbow in the clouds, or did the sun peek out only to give way to the rain again? Please know that I only ask this as a curiosity, I loved the poem and I would not suggest changing the feel of it. It drew me in and I desire to hear more.

This poem has the potential to be put to music; I could almost hear the melody floating through the air. If you ever decide to make it a song I would love to hear it! I look forward to reading more of your work.
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Review by dragonflyrose
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This story really spoke to me on many levels DRSmith. Your characterization is excellent; I feel as if I have known Moses for years and he is standing right in front of me. Your attention to detail is much appreciated, especially for someone like myself who is unfamiliar with the field of horse racing. This is obviously either a hobby of yours or you are exceptional with researching your subject matter.
Though only mentioned in the beginning and ending of the story the imagery and philosophy of the raindrops stands out like a beacon. What a great way to view life and those who intersect it! The merging of water droplets, sliding down a windowpane to either meet with others or to break away and continue the path on their own, and who knows which path it will be for each of us?
I greatly enjoyed reading this short story and look forward to reviewing more of your work.
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Review of Ashley's Eyes  
Review by dragonflyrose
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Jezri,
I have just read "Ashley's Eyes" and I must tell you how much it touched me. I found it through the Cathartic Poetry newsletter and it not only urges me to read your work further, but it also inspires me to get back to writing my own poetry, which is another thing that I had given up during my own struggles.

I am a recovering alcoholic, 27 days sober today, and writing my own personal blog about this journey (Welcome Back Jekyll, Goodbye Hyde). I have personally seen and felt what my disease has done to my family and loved ones and it is one of the most regretful and darkest things that can happen with this terrible monster called alcoholism. Some of the ways it has affected them are feelings and hurts that I am not sure I will ever be able to forgive myself for. In healing myself, I see that my family must heal as well as my drinking hurt them as much as it has hurt me.

To have someone "on the outside" seeing this hurt and not only understanding but caring about those people caught in the maelstrom of an alcoholics drinking is so very touching. Forgive me, touching is not a strong enough word. You have seen it and you have reached out with love and support to Ashley and her mom. That is no mere touching, that is COLOSSAL. I thank you for your heart.

When you wrote " I know that someone who lives like this doesn't do so willingly, even though it is hard to imagine why she continues to imprison herself the way she does." you hit the nail on the head. Not many people understand that we alcoholics lose self-will somewhere along the road of the disease. It is no longer "I want to drink" but becomes "I have to drink". This distinction is lost on most and the usual response to our drinking is something like "Why doesn't she just stop drinking? Why does she keep buying the booze if she can't control it?" Therein lies the answer - we have lost the ability to control it. It controls us. Until one day when we make that life-altering decision to live instead of die. Some of us are able to get to that decision, some of us tragically do not. But it is the support of those same loved ones that we have hurt along the way that help us to lift our heads up out of the quagmire of darkness and slowly struggle up onto the right path once more. You and your daughter are two of those loved ones that have helped Ashley and her mother. You are a blessing.

Again, thank you for your words, talent and heart. I look forward to reading more of your work. Have a glorious day.

Sincerely,
DragonFlyRose
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