Hi. I am reviewing this for "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor .
Taher here , once again to review something unreviewed this time. I agree with you that we always try to suppress the bitter truths of our life by cloaking them with new layers that allow us to breathe without feeling guilty. Most of us who use the internet live three lives - one for the net, one for the people we meet offline, and one that is our own, dark, full of insecurities and unpredictable. However, when true reality strikes us, we cannot face it with a smile and fall through.
I am doing this review for "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor . This is a lovely poem that makes complete sense. When one is in love, one begins not only to appreciate the good characters of the lover, but also, through that person's point of view, one's own "good"ness. Love is such a pure, sinless emotion that it makes saints of us all; it surrounds us like a halo and washes away all the dirt in our hearts to make us better individuals- more giving, more sensitive, more caring. I really loved the last two lines of your uplifting poem.
Hi. Taher here to review you for "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor . Permit me to compliment you on a unique insight into the life of Jesus. Your imagination - a very fertile one, no doubt - combined with an inner, abiding faith generated a complete picture of how Jesus must have called the children from behind a congregation and bestowed his love and blessings on them!
There were a few errors in the item, such as misspelt words (I remember reading disciples (last para) wrong, as also crowd (second to last para). Other than these, and a slightly uncomfortable writing in the present sense of an event that occurred thousands of years ago, I found the item very inspiring. As I am not a Christian, I could not agree with some of the beliefs of Christians, but I have not judged your article on that account.
Hi. This is Taher, and I am doing this review for "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor . On the face of it, this is an unique poem for the site. Most of the poems I have read for the last six or seven years here have been connected to life's ups and downs, romance, adventure, nature and such. This is a career oriented poem, and it was very nice indeed. It can be an inspiring ditty for those who lose heart while trying to climb the corporate ladder.
I loved the use of the word "seasoning" to convey the more enduring meaning of "maturing". Good poem, my friend.
Hi. I am Taher, and am here to welcome you to WDC and to share with you my thoughts on your interesting poem. I am doing this review for "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor . This is a nice poem of a heart-broken lover who has to learn to live with happy past memories and also the sad truth that the love relationship he/she had with the earlier person is over for good. I liked your triple spacing. The poem does have many errors, and hence I have rated you a tad low. I am sure you would iron out these mistakes in the days to come. Do let me know, and I will happily upgrade my ratings.
Hi. I am Taher and I am reviewing this for "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor . This is an interesting mini story of a theatrical stage on which the entire action takes place. Taken at the metaphysical level, it allows the reader to imbibe the Universal Truths of Creation of the world and the two bit acts that players play before they exit the world stage. I liked the concept and I think the execution could be slightly improved. In the second sentence, "pass" should be "past". In the fifth sentence (With a whoosh ...), the semicolon after the word 'foliage' should be replaced with a comma. The same for the sixth sentence where the semicolon is again out of place.
Also, I was a bit confused by "an ovation is left to be found". Could you please re-frame the sentence so that it becomes easy to understand?
Amazing drama and tension in this story, I must say. The settings were somewhat reminiscent of the scenes of the female journo going in to interview Hannibal Lecter in The Silence of the Lambs. The ending, though, was completely different and entirely unexpected. I enjoyed the terse questioning and the threatening tones of the prisoner as he went about in his own manner, scaring the wits out of the journalist/reporter/interviewer.
Although this is purportedly just one installment in a series, I decided to read it from the literary point of view. I think this item is very nicely written. It has the ring of truth about it. I enjoyed the descriptions of the dream, and how the dream turned out to be a reality fraught with terror and real danger. The events in the narrator's life as he awakens from a deep sleep are well written. I will return to your port and try and read the prequels to this write-up as you have keyed me up quite well.
Hi. I am Taher, and I am a doctor practising pediatrics in India. I can identify with most of what you have written. I can understand the noble attributes that you have allocated to those who give of their everything to serve others and ameliorate their suffering. There is this one thing that prevents this write-up from having an universal appeal: it claims everything - membership, fealty, help to and everything else for Americans alone. Why be restricted in this manner? Aren't soldiers, doctors, guards and other emergency workers united globally by their selfless service, their altruistic values and their ability to go where normal people would shy of going?
Other than this one comment, I find nothing wrong with your write-up. Well written, write on!
Hello from a fellow author on WDC. Of course you know me. I am reviewing this item as it has been chosen by SHERRI GIBSON for a "Simply Positive Review". You have used a fairly well-known device for projecting the conservational effort of thousands of humans from all over the world. What I liked is the actual words mouthed by the creatures of the sea. They were moving, intense, all true and very effective. Why end with the premise that the reason they spoke would always be a mystery. Just end at the last but one sentence.
A few suggestions: In the first line, "women" should be "woman". Where the woman advises the lead scientist to "lay down" after reaching the shore, it should be "lie down".
Those are the only ones I picked up. I loved your indenting all the paragraphs. I could never get around to doing that!
Hi. Taher here, visiting your port after a long time. I think most of the times your poems are written from the heart. There is not much in the way of poetic formatting and all that, just a simple narration of how a new kid was befriended with a smile and perseverance. Good job. You do need to shorten a few lines as they seem to be out of sync with the rest of the poem, but on the whole, this is good.
Congratulations on being featured in the For Authors Newsletter. This is such a fantastic item. Your dialogues and write up are realistic and tell me that you are perhaps a father to a daughter yourself. I am, and I have two of them, both of whom I love dearly. I could instantly identify with Jack's character, as I am always a nervous wreck when my daughters are delayed for some reason!
You need to pay more attention to punctuation; there are places where a comma might be useful. May I suggest that you insert commas at the following places (marked with a *):
Yes* honey* I’m here,
Dad* I have to pull over
Dad* I don’t hear anyone but you
Yeah* I heard.
I love you too* honey
Daddy* what’s wrong
...there are more such instances, but I am sure you get the drift.
I enjoyed the story very much, and loved the last few lines too.
Hi. Taher again, to appreciate your writing for the Author Appreciation day. This dark and unusual tale of a person with powers beyond the ken of human beings, is done with a lot of sensitivity. I was on the wrong track as I read the story and was suspecting Transylvanian characters, but this man is so different and has such fertile ideas on how a garden may be tended to!
Hi. I am Taher and am doing this review to appreciate you, a fellow author who is so busy reviewing too. Believe me, this is a very nice short story with a message built in. It is very appropriate for all age groups to read as the message of preserving the sanctity of a gift, no matter how awkward it may seem at a given point of time, is universal. Your dialogues were crisp and fresh too.
Hi. Taher here to review and appreciate your work on this, the Author Appreciation Day. It's been some time since I visited your port. I must say that this is a lovely creation. The changing POV makes it unique, as does its format of a paragraph of prose intermingled with stanzas of verse. The romance is only incidental. The descriptions are great, and both the lovers come across as intelligent, emotive and sensitive individuals who take their own time thinking before taking the final plunge.
Good writing, and congratulations on a well-deserved first place for this item.
Hi. Taher here to review you and appreciate you today on Author Appreciation day! I read this poem with considerable interest and think that the poem describes someone in real life. However, even if one considers this to be a fictional poem, the message in it is very timely and real for all those who keep themselves cloistered within their own minds. It is a good message to send across to introverts and depressed individuals as well.
Great writing. Please do change "dares" to "dare" in the last line of the first stanza. There was no other error.
Hi. Taher here to review one more of you item for the Author Appreciation Day. You are a very talented writer and this story shows that you can write good if you put your mind to it. I have rated you a bit low because this item really needs to be scanned and its various errors rectified. Some of them are typos, but others are easy to find out and I will be pleased to re-rate it if you correct these and let me know you have done so.
Belief in oneself and the determination to pursue one's dream is all that differentiates winners from losers.
Congratulations on being selected as an author to be appreciated ... and I am here to appreciate you. I have seen some of your work earlier, but this is the first time I am here to review a good story! What a marvellous take on acquiring dark objects at an auction! Your writing is simple, sincere and entirely believable, even the last bit about the world going black on the main protagonist.
I am surprised that the Gods of Anarchy, Chaos and War remembered to switch on the emergency red bulb when they immersed the rooms in darkness! (Perhaps they needed the light to see the wretched man's expression!
This is such an amazing little write-up. I have, as a doctor, often counselled patients to live their lives carefully, and always be discrete about what they eat, how they live, and so on and so forth. This writing of giving importance to the here and now is, at first hand, opposite to what I counsel, and yet, so in tune with the reality of life ... its very uncertainties brings up its paradoxical advisories! Yes, I can relate to what you have written, as much of it is perfectly true.
I am adding this item to My favourites. In addition, I think I will recommend that others read this soon.
Congratulations from a fellow-nominated member of Author's Appreciation. My name is Taher, and I am here to review this interesting romantic tale with a teaching point at the very end. It is true, isn't it, that while some will be determined to pursue their goal - in this case, love - while others will, to avoid any unpleasantness, quickly fold like a hand of Poker and give up on their most favourite desire. I read the well-written story with interest, trying also to see if there were any inconsistencies, errors or formatting problems, but found none whatsoever. All in all, a near-perfect love story.
Till I got to the end, and saw that you had taken the opportunity of the successful reunion of two lovers, to show the poor attempt by the chief priest to recollect his past and his eventual surrender to priesthood.
Hi! I am Taher and I came to your item through your pointing it out in Review Fools, where I am also, like you, one of the crewmen on the Ship of Fools.
Title, rating, genres and brief description:
All perfect. You must, however, tell us why you wrote that this was "mostly" true. What part of it wasn't?
Contents of this item:
Very harmoniously, you told us of your experience of trying to go on a blind date with a girl whom you solicited on the net. The writing, considering that it was done in a hurry, was not bad at all, and you certainly told us nearly everything!
Beginning and Ending lines:
Although the opening lines did pull me in, on account of the subject being 18+ and all that, the last few lines were the ones I liked better.
Flow and rhythm:
As you have pointed out yourself, this item needs a little work on the rhyme and meter, but on the whole, it was good.
Format, spacing, indenting, etc.:
No problems here.
Grammar and composition:
Or here.
What things I liked:
I liked the stanza with the actual meeting the most.
What things I did not like:
Um, well, I think most of the writing was nice and easy to read, so I would aver that there wasn't anything I really did not like.
Suggestions on improvement:
None whatsover, as you wrote this one well. Perhaps you could self-improve the meter and a few lines.
Death of a loved one always hurts more than just the physical loss. I liked the format of your poem with small lines, easy to surf , read, understand and digest properly. The language was clear as well, as was the intent of the posting.
Congratulations on being selected in the "For Authors" newsletter! Indeed, one has no restrictions in imagining anything, not even Utopia. However, reality has a way of butting into our dreams and jolting us back to the cruelty and dryness of the world around us. Your effort is commendable, in that, you have, in this poem, put into words all that most humans aspire to achieve or obtain from this harsh, unfair life. My favourite words have to be these: <<<in the face of worldly challenges that threaten to take away your hopes and dreams. >>>
Good work, Write ON!
Taher
P.S. In the line: an unconditional acceptance among those who's lives ... the word "who's" should be "whose".
Hi. Taher here to review your poem on behalf of the "Simply Positive forum". Good to see both of us were featured this time! At the very outset, let me commend you for choosing as your subject the undying love between two earthy characters of the planet: the farmer and his wife. Such simple and noble thoughts could have only come from a rustic soul untarnished by the soot and grime of the city!
It was a pleasure to read about the weathering of love compared to the rubbing off of engravings and inscriptions on a wedding ring. I just loved that bit. Of course, wives can be naive to think that their husbands loved them like no other men loved their wives ... but that is perhaps the skeptical city-soul in me talking. Once down to their basics, human beings show their love and nobility not by a gross display of their material possessions but by the display of faith and affection to and for each other.
Hi. I am doing this review as part of the Simply Positive Group.
First out, let me congratulate you on your Yellow! It was a well-deserved promotion.
I was interested in knowing a bit about how you interact with the world around you; this item says a bit about that, and also shows your strong and positive attitude towards the real challenges of life, but I am looking for some more images, smells and sounds ... Perhaps this poem needs some more stanzas to enlighten the reader?
In any case, I liked the final line of stanza 1, viz. >>The scent of exhaust mixed with freshly mowed grass<< the best of the lot. Hey, the word "you're" in the introduction needs to be changed to "your".
Write On!
-drtaher
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(Perhaps they needed the light to see the wretched man's expression! 
