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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dubyvo
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Review by Dubyts
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really like the concept but to me I am really coming into this cold like there is little explanation to what is happening and I also noticed that each paragraph is a sentence or two. Try to make the story flow so that people will get a better understanding of it.

Otherwise really good.
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