|Hey Octavius hows it going, let's jump right in, shall we?
I love the opening paragraph, you set the scene very nicely, well-done man!
This sentence here is somewhat of a repeat of the description from a couple of lines back that already said she was writing with a feather, also I think the proper term for that would be a quill. anyway here is the sentence I found it in, this whole sentence could probably be removed and the meaning of the paragraph would remain the same. "The woman says as she writes in her note pad with a large feather."
Your first part has some minor oopsie's but nothing that a quick edit wouldn't fix. Your opening scene was presented quite well and was very clear.
Part two, wait, where did the guards come from that are following him up the cliff face? That is all I am questioning in this part. All is well for this part, good job, I like it.
Oh, will he discover his true nature out of pure necessity?! we'll have to just wait and find out! lol
"Kevin scratches his head gazing at the map while Maria happily walks near him with loving thoughts in her head. She reaches and grab Kevin’s arm as she walks beside him causing Kevin to blush. Ura walks ahead as she takes large steps in the ground humming to herself a tune." Okay, I see this part of the paragraph going one of two ways, the first is to leave it as it is and allow it to tell the story, or, (The way I would go,) I would throw in some inner thoughts here and show how they are feeling instead of telling how their feeling. The thing is that feelings can be complicated and you could very easily show that here adding even more depth to your characters as you get to see what loving thoughts Maria is thinking that make Kevin blush, how does she look at him that makes him blush, did she wink all flirty at him with a huge smile on her face? If so, show us. what was Kevin thinking that made him blush?
That last part was cool, but I thought they were heading up a mountain so when they got pushed off the cliff I thought they were headed back the way they came, after all the river would flow down, not up. So I'm going to try to read that again to see what I can see. Yeah, I can see that the river only flows one way, that's down to the ocean. how do they get the rest of the way UP the mountain if the river is flowing down?
All in all, I can only give this chapter a four-star rating because of the confusing things that I found in it. maybe I'm not seeing everything clearly enough but most of this is well thought out and easy to read. The dialog is good and the scenes you set were spectacular, especially the beginning scene where you come across Drake in his newfound home. I'm glad you wrote this and am looking forward to more of it. Your overall goal in this chapter to move your characters forward in the plotline is very well done and I can see the events clearly, good work, and as always thank you for inviting me into your world.