|Okay Octavius Let's get this show back on the road. First things first, I like how you talk in old English when having the elder talk. At first, I didn't understand why you did this, it's been so long since I had read chapter 6, I think what would be good here is to start off the chapter with a reason why your flashback is important here. If your reader has to put down your book in chapter 6 for whatever reason, work gets in the way, or they are moving or whatever the reason. They may not remember where you were at the end of chapter 6. So something small at this point at least, (I think) might be good to have some kind of reference as to why this part comes up. Now to the meat of it, let's go on my suggestions to you.
The first part is good, I see nothing here but good writing.
You mention a "small prick" in his hand, as a diabetic, I am always testing my blood sugar and a small prick is what I feel every day, twice a day. I can usually quell the bleeding with just sucking on my finger. Can I suggest you saying something to the effect of 'and no matter how much pressure he put on the wound, it just wouldn't stop bleeding.' This could also signify the supernatural effect of what is about to happen.
"A wave of relief overtook him when he hears his father calling out for him in the distance. He slowed to a fast walk panting in relief," You seem to have mixed up your tenses here, one is present tense then you move back to the past tense. I do this all the time, I'm still getting used to it.
"He slowed to a fast walk panting in relief, but just as he saw the torches ahead, something grabbed him on the back of his head and pushed him head first into the ground." This could probably say the same thing as 'something grabed his head and slamed it face first into the ground' It says the same basic thing in fewer words.
"Now, you shall discover the true cruelty of life.” I really like this sentence, its almost as if Confucius said it. lol
Now in most of the lore I've heard about vampires, they hold you in some kind of mesmerizing trance and the bite usually feels good, this could play to a strength here if you wanted it to. At least that's how I see it.
All in all the second part here has a good flow to it and it did make sense, despite all my squabbling, lol.
"Richard the first looked at the knife in shock over the choice he has been given." How about using the phrase, 'the choice he was now forced into' personally that's how I would phrase it, but then, I'm not the writer am I?
This part of the chapter went well, just a few minor things in my opinion, but overall, I like the dialog and in keeping with the old English I think you did well.
"she bumped into a tall, pale-skinned male with red eyes and two large canine teeth in front of his mouth, wearing a black cape wrapped around his neck. Without warning, Belemina felt the hideous monster grab her by the shoulders and spin her around." Just a thought here, but, she can't give a full description of Dracula if she's still facing away from him. I'm not sure most normal readers will catch this but I did, so maybe someone else will also. The description could be better served after he spins her around but before her boy cries out. and this part of the chapter was done very well also. The dialog was smooth and the flow was pretty good here.
This, next to last, part was done very well. I had mentioned before about the tense situation, you have it here and scattered throughout this chapter and my guess, through all your previous chapters. A lot of times you'll use passes, and then in the same passage, you'll use ran. One is present and the other is past. I personally think you write better in the past tense than in the present, but hey, who am I to judge, lol. now let's look at your last part.
Flawless! I can see nothing wrong with this part, not even a suggestion on how things could be improved. I would like to see a dialog exactly like this at the beginning of the chapter, that way we all know it's a flashback and not some weird tangent.
Well, sir, you did a fine job on another of your excellent ideas for a book. Keep it up and I'll keep reading and reporting back to you. Let me know if there's anything that you don't like about my reviews and I'll try and curb them, I can tailor-make my reviews to what you want and need.
Thanks for inviting me into your world bro.