A nicely written and funny story. I enjoyed seeing it from the cat's POV, though I think his/her? dialogue/narrative could be refined a bit more. perhaps a bit edgier? Jusdt some randome thoughts so don't take them too seriously, A enjoyable read. Good writing ... Duke Stone
A nice retelling/interpitation of the classic myth. I really enjoyed the humanising aspects that you gave it. At times it gave the reader pause as I struggled with the meaning but over all a great effort. The one problem I see is the use of punctuation. You use it in places an not in others. This is something that I struggle with in my own poetry so I speak from experience that it really helps the reader to have the needed punctuation all the way through. Good writing ... Duke Stone
I enjoyed the concept and the unexpected ways your characters reacted to the stimuli. This is a bit vague as a stand alone story but works great as the beginning of something more. I'd love to see the concept explored and will eagerly await to see if you decide to add to it. Good writing ... Duke Stone
The character intrigues me and I enjoyed the fight scenes which were well written though they seemed to move so quickly that it lessened the impact a bit. I can understand having your hero dispatch lesser opponents without a lot of fuss so that he doesn't appear too weak when he confronts the main villian but this scene seemed a bit too pat. I'll be reading the rest of your story as time permits and will give you my thoughts as it progresses. You're off to a nice start here. Good writing ... Duke Stone
Oh Lordy! I'm a huge Poe fan and this one had me from the beginning. The writing style was absurd enough to keep me reading in the face of all logic. The urge to laugh couldn't be restrained despite my best efforts and at last I was overwhelmed by mirth.
It reminded me a lot of Robert Asprin's best work on the Myth series. Good writing ... Duke Stone
nicely written romance. The plot played out well and the characters were well developed, making me care about what happened to them. This, to me, is the most important aspect of a story. If I couldn't care less about the characters then no matter what happens to them, it won't move me. Good writing ... Duke Stone
A well written poem that deals with an intense subject. The problems between parents and their children date back to the beginning of time and will most likely continue until the end of it. I enjoyed the flow up until the final 3 lines which changed both the feel and the flow too aburptly. This made the ending feel rushed to me. A very worthy effort. Good writing ... Duke Stone
Well it sounds as if you're in a self destructive relationship and you need to cut your losses and move on. He's just going to keep letting you down for those kind are all alike. My best advice would be to seek councilling and if he does it again then you had best dump the guy and find another one who's more in tune with your needs. After all how many times can you strand someone and expect them to be waiting? oh and Good writing ... Duke Stone
A wonderful poem. I love the vivid imagery and the feelings of warmth and belonging this one creates in the mind and heart of the reader. The flow moves the reader along at just the right pace as wonder after wonder is revealed to eager eyes. Good writing ... Duke Stone
This one really needs some work. The anguish of your depression comes through clearly however that's about all that does. The poem is disjointed and hard on the reader to try and follow. I detect a storyline underlying it but its too vague to make out. Rereading and revising this oen with an eye towards making it clearer will also succeed in making it more powerful for understanding is power. The reader feels because he can understand the plight of your character. I look forward to reading more of your work and would be glad to give a reread to this one if you choose to revise it. Duke Stone
A nicely written and inspiring poem but I think its a tad short to convey the depth of emotion you're reaching for. It almost gets there then falls a bit short. The imagery is well done but sparse, in a poem of this nature I would expect to be able to conjur a clearer picture. If I went into this one without knowing what she looked like to begin with I'd be totally lost. In all a good poem that could be great. Good writing ... Duke Stone
I can see that this is a work in progress and it does have some real potential but it works too hard to put too much in a small space as it stands. More showing instead of telling would go a long way here. Allow the events to happen "real time" with the writer and reader as observers. I would like to see the sotry enlarged to allow the scenes to develope as it would make a huge difference in the readers empathy towrds them and their plight. The scene between Isi and Brandon was a step in the right direction. Over all a good first draft that still needs polish. Good Writing ... Duke Stone
A well thought out free verse but I found it bit distracting when you switched from "he" to "I". The flow was good for the most part conveying a lyrical sense of soft, slow music. The rhythm however jangled when You shifted in the last stanza. This si a goods poem that could be better. Good writing...Duke Stone
I liked this one but it just didn't have quite the smae emotional impact on me that "My daddy killed a child tonight" did. Perhaps it was the immedancy of the situation as it was all happening in the "now". This is a nicely written poem and well done. Good writing ... Duke Stone
I liked ther concept and the story was well done and suspenseful, with the interaction between characters ringing true. The ending how ever left me a bit dissappointed. With the build up of great misfortune, one would expect more than the tablet wiped clear and back to square one. A good story that could be better...Good writing ... Duke Stone
The majesty of this poem shines through and that is its strong point. It moves the reader with a slow , almost dirge like quality. I'm not sure why you use the rows of periods, perhaps as spacers, but the poem would flow much better with simplier punctuation. The lyrical flow of your words is great you just need some work on the structure as it does tend to distract the reader. Good writing ... Duke Stone
A moving and touching tribute to a mother's love that left me with tears. Each line seemed as carefully crafted and lovingly made as that mother's gentle touch. This little poem was one of the best and most touching that I've read in a long time. Great, great work. Good writing...Duke Stone
This one has lots of potential and I love the concept but it needs some work. The way you start out with a rhyme scheme then switch back and forth between rhyming and free verse confuses and distracts the reader, which keeps them from enjoying the power that the piece is potentially capable of delivering. Your style tends more towards free verse and some of the best lines had a great lyrical quality to them. I would suggest rereading it and listen to the way it sounds in your head. This is a good piece that could be great with a bit of work. Good writing...Duke Stone
Well this one has a tongue in cheek feel that I like though I may not agree with all of your conclusions. I remember those years of wondering which way to turn and to be honest it feels as if they've descended upon us again. A nice little slice of life piece with jsut a bit of political commentary thrown in(or is it the other way around?) Either way it was a thoughtful read. Good writing ... Duke Stone
This one is good but the changing size of the stanzas distracted me a bit. The flow is good as is the imagery which is so filled with a wistful longing. Emotion is,perhaps, the best judge of a poem and this one left me sighing...Good writing..Duke Stone
A nicely written poem. I usually perfer free verse for this type of poem but you manage to use rhymes effectivelt here. The flow was sprightly and set the tone for the entire poem. This one reminded me of an old dell comics back up feature from way back when entitled Brothers of the Spear. Good writing...Duke Stone
Well you've caught my interest and I'm not even a huge romance fan...though it could be I'm a huge western fan... I was going through my old emails and remembered the great read of Unto This Bow and decided I'd come see what you had been doing lately. I like this one and the cover really seems to set the tone of the book. Duke Stone
A deeply moving piece on ther state of poverty in India. The story was deeply emotional without getting overly sentimental and the boy's plight seemed real to the reader. The sentence structure in some part of the story tends to hamper the flow but it takes a back seat to the depth of the emotions presented so ably within. Good Writing...Duke Stone
This poem is full of emotion and has a strong sense of imagery but the flow is erratic. For most of the poem you use an ABAB rhyme scheme but there are places you just toss it aside. This tends to throw the reader and disrupt the flow. This is a nice poem that could be great with some polish. Good writing...Duke Stone
I really enjoy the imagery of this piece.You have a gift for finding beauty and interest in every day objects. The flow moves at a quick pace, perhaps a tad too quick. I am glad you use punctuation to slow the reader down but it might not hurt to break it into stanzas of four, two couplets to a line. A fun read. Good writing...Duke Stone
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