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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dunkelhetstern
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809 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of One...Two...  
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi AJ wants U 2 meet The CanMan! } and Happy Sunday! Thank you for entering "I Love 2000"   by Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 . I will be reviewing One...Two...; please remember that these are only my opinions and feel free to take them with a grain of salt.

First Impressions:
These are such fun memories! Ah, yes, I think we were all newbs to the internet during this time. It truly was such a fun time to be online.

Overall Thoughts:
I thought your essay flowed smoothly. I didn't find any errors, but feel free to run over it again in case you are missing something you might want to add.

Rating:
*Star***Star***Star***Star***Star*

Final Thoughts:
Thank you for entering "I Love 2000"   by Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and joining me on the walk down memory lane!
2
2
Review of 1999 New Years!  
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Tina Stone and Happy Sunday! Thank you for entering "I Love 2000"   by Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 . I will be reviewing 1999 New Years!; please remember that these are only my opinions and feel free to take them with a grain of salt.

First Impressions:
These are such fun memories! Ah, yes, we were all worried about Y2K weren't we? I learned a lot about you from this fun piece.

Overall Thoughts:
I thought your essay flowed smoothly. I didn't find any errors, but feel free to run over it again in case you are missing something you might want to add.

Rating:
*Star***Star***Star***Star***Star*

Final Thoughts:
Thank you for entering "I Love 2000"   by Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and joining me on the walk down memory lane!
3
3
Review of Coffee  
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Lilliy Loidd 🪔 and good afternoon! I'm Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and I'll be reviewing Coffee for "The Happiness Port Project"   by Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 ("The Happiness Port Project"   by Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 ).

Awww, I love this sweet poem. Coffee brings me a lot of joy as well. I love how you play with the imagery and I love the rhyme scheme.

Thank you for participating and I can't wait to read more of your work throughout this activity.

Write on and have a great evening!
4
4
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hallo Itchybarn and good Sunday afternoon to you. I'm Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and I'll be reviewing The Infinite Bit Tournament. Please remember these are only my opinions and feel free to use whichever you find the most helpful.

First Impressions:
I'm impressed with this story! You have a lot of talent and your way with words shine inThe Infinite Bit Tournament.

Overall Thoughts:
The Infinite Bit Tournament is a fun piece. I love how you introduce the characters right away and the descriptions you use. I feel like I know each character personally. I also like how you begin The Infinite Bit Tournament with the problem at hand. You don't let it linger and sometimes giving the problem right off the bat draws readers in even more.

I like the concept of The Infinite Bit Tournament and this was such a fun idea to read through. You had a clear and consise beginning, middle, and end. I love how you built up the problem and solved it - this was probably one of the best things I've read in a while.

I didn't find any mechanical or usage errors in The Infinite Bit Tournament, however, I suggest this to all writers: go back and proofread to make sure you're not missing anything pertinent.

Rating:
*Star***Star***Star***Star***Halfstar*

Final Thoughts:
Thank you for the trinket. Keep up the great work and write on! ~Jessica


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review of Perspective  
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello and Happy Saturday, Jacky ! I'm Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and I'll be reviewing Perspective that I found randomly through read and review. Please remember that these are only my opinions; feel free to use whichever you find the most helpful.

First Impressions:
I love the imagery of Perspectiveand also the motion you capture.

Overall Thoughts:
I feel like this should be in the middle of a short story, instead of a micro fiction in of itself. I feel like you could introduce characters, a setting, and a plot and I think it would give more life to your piece. I'm not sure if you entered this into a contest and what the contest was about, but I would definitely recommend a longer story for Perspective.

Rating:
*Star***Star***Halfstar*

Final Thoughts:
You have a lot of promise in your writing. Keep working at it and write on! ~Jessica



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of Felix  
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Good evening percy goodfellow and Happy Saturday. I'm Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and I'll be reviewing Felix. Please remember that this is only my opinion; feel free to take it or leave it.

First Impressions:
I feel like this is a rough draft to a longer short story or a novel.

Overall Thoughts:
Felix seems disjointed and that's why I said that in the first impression. I don't get a sense of narrator, I don't get a sense of what he looks like, where he lives, the city or suburb he lives in, though you hinted he could possibly be poor. You really need to expand upon that because I think it would make Felix a fuller, richer story.

There are moments where there are sentence fragments and like you didn't finish your thoughts. For example:

My latest one’s named Felix…, before I found out he was a she. Felix has a white moustache that looks like a handle bar worn by some foreigner.
Why the ellipsis? I think you really need to finish a thought or expand upon something.

Ever see a cat eat a mouse whole…? Talk about gross…Damndest thing you ever wanted to see.
Same issue... I'm very confused by these two thoughts.

I think if you tie up these two fragments, it would make the story clearer.

Rating:
*Star***Star***Star***Halfstar*

Final Thoughts:
Write on! Enjoy the Writing.com birthday celebration! ~Jessica


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good morning Kittiara and Happy Friday! I'm Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and I'll be reviewing I have earrings made of pennies!. Please remember that these are only opinions; feel free to use whichever you find the most helpful.

First Impressions
Ah, yes, I can totally relate to this poem! Not that I ever glued pennies to my ears, but the days of dress up and pretend. This is a cute concept.

Overall Thoughts:
I like how I have earrings made of pennies is free verse because that allows for more room to grow your poem and you took full advantage of the form. I loved the imagery and humour in this piece. You captured the essence of childhood and we can all relate to I have earrings made of pennies. I thought the piece flowed well and it read almost perfectly. I didn't feel bogged down and the read had a light feel, which is awesome for a children's piece.

As I suggest to all writers, it doesn't hurt to go back and proofread to make sure you are capturing everything you want to say. I found no mechanical errors, but it doesn't hurt to reread.

Rating:
*Star***Star***Star***Star***Halfstar*

Final Thoughts:
Keep up the good work and write on! Enjoy the final days of Writing.com festivities! ~Jessica


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review of Ladybug Beach  
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good morning Itchybarn and Happy Friday! I'm Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and I'll be writing Ladybug Beach. Please remember that these are only my opinions; feel free to use whichever are the most helpful.

First Impressions:
What a fun poem! I love the way you played around with your word choice and the rhyme scheme.

Overall Impressions:
While this is a fun poem, it's also educational. I learned a lot about ladybugs from this poem, as well as chuckled along with some of your imagery. I admire how you combine the two. The ABAB format works with the theme. The meter was spot on and Ladybug Beach flowed nicely.

I suggest this to all writers because we all miss something or want to add (or subtract): PROOFREAD! I didn't spot any mechanical errors, however, a quick proofread might help you spot something you want to add or take out.

Rating:
*Star***Star***Star***Star***Star*

Final Thoughts:
Ladybug Beach is a lovely first piece! I can't wait to read more of your work. Write on! ~Jessica


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good evening Prosperous Snow Moving Forward and Happy Thankful Thursday! I am Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and I'll be reviewing Grandma's Green Thumb. Please remember that these are only my opinions; feel free to use whichever you find most helpful.

First Impressions:
My eyes are welling and I think they sprung a leak. Touching and beautiful.

Overall Thoughts:
I really love how Grandma's Green Thumb is free verse because it allows more room for expression. The page is your oyster and you struck a pearl! I really thought the line breaks gave more expression and added to the tone of this piece. The flower imagery is gorgeous; don't all grandmas have green thumbs?

As I suggest to all writers, go back and proofread to make sure you're conveying all that you want to convey. You might discover you're missing something.

Rating:
*Star***Star***Star***Star***Star*

Final Thoughts:
Keep up the good work and write on! Enjoy Writing.com's birthday week. ~Jessica


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review of Death to Pimping  
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Strange Brain and good evening. I'm Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and I'll be reviewing Death to Pimping. Please remember these are only my opinions; feel free to take them with a grain of salt.

First Impressions:
I agree with your sentiment. I like the flow and rhyme scheme of this piece, the ABAB format works well - short and to the point.

Overall Thoughts:
Although this is a short piece, the language you use makes it powerful. The ABAB format brings your imagery to life; I like how you keep it simple. Simple is powerful and while this has a violent tone, keeping it short also didn't bring out more ferocity, which I think would have turned readers off.

I suggest this to all writers; go back and proofread to make sure you are conveying all that you want to convey. You might find that you are missing something OR you want to add or subtract something.

Rating:
*Star***Star***Star***Star*

Final Thoughts:
Keep up the good work and write on! ~Jessica


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review of My Truth  
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello TheOneGirl and good morning. I'm Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and I will be reviewing My Truth. Please remember that these are only my opinions; feel free to use whichever ones you find the most helpful.

First Impressions:
*Hug1**hug**Hug2* I want to give you a hug! However, we have all felt like this - hopeless, depressed, like no one likes us. You capture the feelings of despair perfectly.

Mechanics:
However, I feel like you could include more imagery. The imagery you have is good, however, you are telling us what it feels like instead of showing us what it feels like. While despair is concrete, I think you could play around with the aesthetics of this piece so we can assign our own meaning, instead of being force fed a meaning.

I didn't find any mechanical errors, however, as I suggest to all writers, go back and proofread your poem to make sure you're including everything you want to be included. Going back could give you a fresh perspective too.

Rating:
*Star***Star***Star***Star*
12
12
Review of Time for School  
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello A. M. Buxman and good morning! I'm Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and I'll be reviewing Time For School. Please remember these are only my opinions; feel free to use whatever you need or disregard them as a grain of salt.

First Impressions:
This really is short! However, the poem is geared toward children and for that specific audience, the length is perfect. Also, I feel like I was an odd child: I looked forward to school and often felt dread after it started. I was bullied and often found solace in teachers.

Mechanics:
I didn't find any mechanical errors; the poem reads smoothly and I like the sing-songy rhyme scheme (AABB format). It fits your audience well and would put a smile on their faces. However, I always suggest to all authors, go back and proofread to make sure you include everything you want to include.

Rating:
*Star***Star***Star***Star*

Final Thoughts:
A joy of a read! I did find this poem enjoyable and know readers of all ages will find the same joy! It's something we can all relate to - I hope you do publish this for young readers. Write on!
13
13
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello and good morning. My name is Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and I will be reviewing Childhood Innocence. Please remember these are only my opinions; feel free to take my suggestions with a grain of salt.

First Impressions:
I like the flow and imagery. It's not an exact rhyme, but I do like the rhythm and how to images dance to that rhythm.

Overall Thoughts:
You do have some great imagery, but I feel like you could have added more. There is some rhythm, but the poem only comes half alive for me. I believe you could add more movement to the children to add more life. I believe a few more stanzas with other types of childhood play or behaviour would do the trick. Also, add more rhythm, it's sing-songy now.

I didn't find any grammatical or mechanical issues, however as I always recommend to writers, it wouldn't hurt to go back and proofread your piece to make sure you are conveying everything you want to convey.

Rating:
*Star***Star***Star***Star*

Final Thoughts:
Keep writing and creating! *Pencil*
14
14
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello and good evening. I am Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and I'll be reviewing Actually The Glass Is Always Full. Please remember these are only my opinions, feel free to take advice with a grain of salt.

Wow! I absolutely loved your essay and as some one who is currently depressed, I needed this. I work two jobs and I start my full-time job early in the morning. One morning I might have to watch the sun rise, even if it's during the weekend. I remember the happiness that brought me when I was a little girl.

I didn't think this sounded like a lecture at all. It was helpful and gentle. I also found no grammatical or mechanical errors, however, it wouldn't hurt to go over this again to make sure you're conveying all you want to convey.

Keep writing and keep sharing joy!
15
15
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Dragon, I'm reviewing In God We Trust for your birthday treat bag. Please remember these are only my opinions, feel free to use what is most helpful.

Impressions:
What a great thought! I know Atheists question this daily, they feel the pledge violate their right of religious freedom. The Pledge of Allegiance was written during the Cold War and the "God" phrases were added because they believed Americans were Godly people, that Capitalism was Godly and Communism wasn't Godly. If I remember correctly, most communists were Atheists and American politicians wanted to separate "us from them." This is a great debate and I'm glad you wrote this piece.

Mechanics:
I think you should add more spaces between the end of the paragraph and the new paragraphs. I know sometimes Word documents don't copy perfectly into Writing.com pieces. Other than that, I found no mechanical errors; however, it wouldn't hurt to go back to proofread to make sure you're conveying all you want to convey.

Rating:
*Star***Star***Star***Star***Halfstar*

Final Thoughts:
Keep up the good work and write on!
16
16
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello and good morning! I'm dunkelhetster and I'll be reviewing Caught In the Rain for Choconut 's raffle. Please remember that these are only opinions, feel free to take the advice that is most helpful to you.

First Impressions:
I really like the alliteration and repetition of Caught in the Rain and the imagery you created with your word play.

Overall Thoughts:
While I thought this piece was beautifully written, one phrase stood out to me:

>>The sun was hid, there was no glow<<

I'd edit it because I don't like the way it sounds. While it makes the line shorter, it doesn't sound or flow right. I'd suggest:

The hiding sun caused no glow

Other than that, I thought the poem sounded great. However, I'd suggest proofreading to make sure you're including everything you want to be included.

Final Thoughts:
Keep writing and experimenting with poetry! You're doing great so far! Write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
Review of Life Links  
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hallo, iluvhorses and good morning! I'm Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and I am reviewing your poem, Life Links for Witchy woman 's fundraiser for Simply Positive Group. Please remember these are only my opinions; feel free to take suggestions at face value.

First Impressions:
Hmmm, I'm not sure about Life Links because it seems very short and not much to this poem. I have never heard of the Septolet form and had to look it up. You do follow the form well and you do create a picture, I guess I am just not too keen on the subject matter. Nothing on your part, just on my part as the reader.

Overall Impressions:
With that said, I am glad I chose this piece because I learned about a new poetry style! While this is not my favorite poem, I do like the imagery you use. I also like the flow and it reminds me of a triolet. It is short and the writer must pack a good deal into a short poem, without overwhelming the reader. I think you did this well.

I found no mechanical errors; however, I always suggest to writers to go back and proofread to make sure they are not missing anything that they thought they've put into a poem, but didn't.

Rating:
*Star***Star***Star***Star*

Final Thoughts:
I'll have to try this form of poetry! I hope you do write more in this form because you do have a way with words and creating images. Please keep writing and creating! ~Jessica


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review of Another teen lost  
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hallo, iluvhorses and good morning! I'm Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and I am reviewing your poem, Another teen lost for Witchy woman 's fundraiser for Simply Positive Group. Please remember these are only my opinions; feel free to take suggestions at face value.

First Impressions:
Wow! Although there is not much wording to this poem, the word choices used makes me tear up. I'm sorry about the loss of your friend to such a senseless act.

Overall Impressions:
Although there was not much in terms of imagery, the word choice used for this poem made up for the terseness of images. This poem conveys shock and sadness, as indicated by the rushing of the flow. I really liked that about this poem. I found no mechanical errors; however, I always suggest to writers to go back and proofread to make sure they are not missing anything that they thought they've put into a poem, but didn't.

Rating:
*Star***Star***Star***Star*

Final Thoughts:
I hope more people read this poem; I think more people should be aware of the power of guns and what can happen, even if playing around. I am sorry about the loss of your friend. Please keep writing and creating! ~Jessica


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hallo, iluvhorses and good morning! I'm Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and I am reviewing your poem, Ingrate to grateful for Witchy woman 's fundraiser for Simply Positive Group. Please remember these are only my opinions; feel free to take suggestions at face value.

First Impressions:
I could relate to Ingrate to grateful because I've been there and done that; in fact, I have been feeling that way a lot lately. While this free verse is short, it packs a lot of emotion and thought into what is being read.

Overall Impressions:
With that said, I love the simplicity of this poem. I love how there is a lesson at the end of a transformation. While there wasn't much imagery, I liked how this poem forces the reader to look at their life.

I thought the rhythm and flow was spot on, I found no mechanical errors; however, I always suggest to writers to go back and proofread to make sure they are not missing anything that they thought they've put into a poem, but didn't.

Rating:
*Star***Star***Star***Star*

Final Thoughts:
I thoroughly enjoyed this piece and it gave me some ideas to ponder. Please keep writing and creating! ~Jessica


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hallo, iluvhorses and good morning! I'm Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and I am reviewing your poem, Alcove Window Seat for Witchy woman 's fundraiser for Simply Positive Group. Please remember these are only my opinions; feel free to take suggestions at face value.

First Impressions:
I really like Alcove Window Seat because the free verse is simple, but packs a lot of imagery and meaning. Lately, I've been reading a lot of free verse because sometimes a rhyme scheme takes away from the true meaning of a poem. In this poem, the free verse nature creates some movement of me actually looking from the window.

Overall Impressions:
With that said, I love the imagery and movement you have created. Your words and rhythm create peace and since this poem is not forced into a rhyme scheme, this poem is natural and not forced. These words reflect if someone was looking outside of an alcove window and what the sights do to the view.

I thought the rhythm and flow was spot on, I found no mechanical errors; however, I always suggest to writers to go back and proofread to make sure they are not missing anything that they thought they've put into a poem, but didn't.

Rating:
*Star***Star***Star***Star***Halfstar*

Final Thoughts:
I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. Please keep writing and creating! ~Jessica


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Joy and good afternoon! I was perusing through your port and came across your Jottings From Journeys journal. Being the aspiring travel bug I am, I had to check this journal out.

I'm so glad I did! I loved reading about your adventures and the stories about your adventures. I hope you have pictures because I think you should really print out these stories to place with pictures. It's fun to look over where you have been. This would pair nicely with a scrapbook.

I have no suggestions or edits. Everything looks fine grammatically and this was put together well. You have inspired me to make my own journal of this year. Shame I didn't think of it earlier. Maybe I'll put together items in a folder.

Thank you for sharing your journeys with us, Joy!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review of CLASH!  
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Elle and good morning! I'm Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and will be reviewing "CLASH! "   by Elle for iKïyå§ama 's "a very Wodehouse challenge"   by iKïyå§ama . Please remember these are only my thoughts and opinions; please use whichever you find the most helpful!

First Impressions:
I think CLASH! Original Character Tournament would be a great warm-up exercise to those who will be participating in Octoprep Month Challenge, then going on to write for NaNoWriMo. I feel that CLASH! helps people prepare for their short stories, or novels, or longer non-fiction, especially by giving tips on how create a character that is compelling.

Overall Thoughts:
I think it's important for all writers to have these habits, especially list-making that acts as a profile. I also believe having an introductory story helps and being in a supportive environment is a necessary process in the writing process. CLASH! is a great way to connect with other writers, hear feedback, and obtain ideas from their suggestions on how to make their piece pop.

However, I see you haven't had a tournament in close to ten months. I hope you do continue with CLASH! and more regularly. I also think maybe you should include non-fiction stories: or maybe create another activity similar. :)

Rating:
*Star***Star***Star***Star***Halfstar*

Final Thoughts:
What a great idea and activity, Elle! Thank you for creating a safe space for writers to explore, and by also giving them confidence to write longer pieces with their character/characters. Keep up the great work and write on!
23
23
Review of A poem for Chance  
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello and good morning. My name is Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and I'm reviewing A poem for Chance as part of your prize package from Dragyn 's Chinese New Year raffle. Please remember these are only my thoughts and opinions; feel free to use whichever you find the most helpful.

First Impressions:
As a cat mom, especially as a family that adopted a rescue cat, I know these feelings all too well. I'm glad Chance is doing well and thriving. I thought this poem was beautiful and really captured a relationship well.

Overall Thoughts:
I really liked this poem because I like the story behind the poem. As I mentioned, we've adopted a rescue cat (she passed away in 2012... we had her for 4 years; she was 13 when we adopted her in 2008) and we remember feeling these feelings of "will she survive?" She did and I'm glad Chance did as well.

I think the rhyme scheme works well A poem for Chance because it fits the message perfectly. The meter, rhythm, and flow also worked perfectly with this poem. Of course, your imagery was spot on as well.

I didn't find any mechanical errors, but it doesn't hurt to go back and proofread to make sure you're conveying all you want to convey.

Rating:
*Star***Star***Star***Star***Halfstar*

Final Thoughts:
Keep up the great work and write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Jen~ and good morning. I'm Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and I'm one of the judges for kiyasama's "Letters of Life, Love & Hope"   by iKïyå§ama . Please remember these are only my thoughts and opinions - feel free to use whichever you find the most helpful.

What a powerful letter and I'm glad you mentioned other cancer warriors as well because cancer sucks in general. I thought your letter was heart felt; it had a lot of emotion to it, especially anger and sadness. However, you had a lot of hope in the letter - that we can stamp out cancer and if it is detected in time from all of the very helpful screens out there, it can be fought.

I thought this letter was well-written and empathetic to all those who have fought the battle. I'm glad you mentioned the screenings in this letter as well. Good luck!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
Review of Dear Ingrid  
Review by Ice Skatin'...
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi ~Minja~ and good morning. My name is Ice Skatin' Jessica is 15 and I'll be reviewing Dear Ingrid for kiyasama's "Letters of Life, Love & Hope"   by iKïyå§ama . Please remember that these are only my thoughts and opinions - feel free to use whichever you find the most helpful.


I thought this was a clever piece - it combines letter form with poetic form. Although there was no rhyme scheme or verses, I liked how this simple poem didn't make the letter seem too daunting.

However, maybe this form takes away from the message a bit. I was a bit distracted by the format- I was expecting a poem, but it wasn't quite a poem. I had to re-read it again to get a feel from the letter. There are a lot of sad feelings there, as well as hope... but I feel like this letter only touches the surface. I would suggest going deeper. Other than that, I think this is a great start to a letter.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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